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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Kane

The next couple of weeks passed agonisingly slowly as it started to sink in that for all Henry’s threats and blustering, there was very little real chance of me getting my part back in Llewelyn .

I tried to distract myself as best I could with trips to the gym, visiting friends, talking to Miles about other parts, and making audition tapes for a couple of roles, none of which I was as excited about but I couldn’t keep moping forever. Rejection happened all the time in the acting world and as hard as it was to accept, there was nothing I could do but try and move on.

I spent a lot of time with Austin too, because there wasn’t much I couldn’t do from his house in York. He’d helped me sign up for his private gym so I could go there whenever I wanted, and he had a ton of filming and editing equipment, so it was easy to make audition tapes. And being with Austin dulled the painful ache in my chest.

It was obvious he still blamed himself for what had happened despite my insistence that it wasn’t his fault and that wankers were always going to be wankers. But I could see it weighing on him when he thought I wasn’t looking.

All I could do was try and distract him, whether that was with a conversation, a bad joke, or sex. And I was very happy to use all three.

I’d also kept in touch with Henry, who was back in LA to do some reshoots for the latest round of his superhero franchise and seemed incredibly bored by the whole thing. He’d mentioned they’d tried to have him chemistry read against some other actors for Llewelyn and he’d flat-out refused, which I was grateful for, but at some point we were both going to have to accept it wasn’t meant to be.

I’d just about reached that point, with much mental kicking and screaming, when the phone rang one Thursday afternoon.

I was sitting at Austin’s kitchen table with my laptop, editing some footage for an audition tape for a rom com that sounded more promising than anything else I’d seen, while waiting for Austin to get back from the shops. My phone vibrated beside me and I answered it without looking because I was expecting it to be my boyfriend ringing to ask me what I wanted for dinner.

But the voice on the other end definitely wasn’t Austin’s.

“Hello, is that Jude? It’s Jenny Hall.”

“Jenny? Hey, yeah, it’s Jude,” I said, fumbling with my phone and nearly dropping it on the floor in stunned disbelief. “Nice to hear from you. Are you well?”

“Doing better now,” she said slyly. “I’ve spoken to some bigwig or other at the production company this afternoon and they’ve finally agreed that you’re the best choice for Llewelyn. So if you still want it, and frankly I wouldn’t blame you if you said no, the part is yours.”

“Are you serious?” It felt like my heart was in my mouth while nausea churned my stomach, like the worst case of sea sickness I’d ever experienced despite being on dry land.

“Deadly. I wouldn’t be ringing if I wasn’t. I’m not the sort to pull pranks, especially not about things like this,” she said. “If you need some time to think about it, then do. I’ll need an answer by Monday, though. Then Henry can finally drop this ridiculous crusade of his. His loyalty does him credit, but it has made him exceedingly difficult to deal with.” She chuckled dryly. “I shall be dreading opening my emails for years to come. Although I must say his verbiage is highly amusing. I’ve never seen so many creative insults in my life.”

I laughed because I could honestly believe that of Henry, especially if he was bored.

“I don’t need time to think. I’ll do it,” I said, giddy relief rushing through me. It was like waking up on Christmas Day as a kid and seeing a stocking full of presents at the end of my bed. “Thank you. Seriously, Jenny, I’m so grateful I don’t even know where to start.”

“It’s quite all right. You deserve it.”

“Thank you. This means everything.”

“You’re welcome,” she said and I got the sense that Jenny wasn’t particularly fond of people being overly emotional at her. “Now, we’ll get that paperwork going again and speak to Miles. The filming dates have been pushed back because of all this and because Henry’s been dragged off to reshoots, so we’re looking at sometime in the spring next year. They tried to get me to agree to film over the winter, but the whole thing as written is set in the summer, and I’m not spending half the budget on them creating a digital rose garden when I can get a real one by waiting six months.”

I highly doubted that anyone except Jenny could get away with making those demands, but Jenny hadn’t spent the last thirty-odd years of her career working her way up the ladder to let anyone tell her what to do.

“That all sounds great,” I said. “Just let me know when and where I need to be and I’ll be there.”

“Wonderful! I’m sure we’ll speak again soon or it’ll be another member of the team. You know what these things are like—read-throughs, fittings, rehearsals, etc. Lots to schedule. I’m glad you’re on board, though. It wouldn’t have been the same without you.”

I smiled, my heart rate finally starting to slow as my chest filled with warmth at the sincerity of her words. “Thank you.”

“And if you could drop Henry a message, I’d be very grateful. I’ll tell him myself, but I’m not sure if he’ll believe me.”

“I will do.” I’d leave Henry a voice note, mostly so he’d stop whatever war of attrition he’d started against the studio. Although at some point I’d have to get all the details because I really wanted to know what he’d done.

“Excellent, I’ll speak to you soon.” Jenny said goodbye and hung up, leaving me staring at some random spot on the kitchen wall in shock as I tried to process everything.

I had the part back.

I was going to be Llewelyn.

And I could do it without giving up my relationship or changing who I was. I could be out, proud, and in love with a porn star, my beloved cocky bastard, and still act. And yeah, maybe they wouldn’t give us more than one season and maybe this whole thing would come back to bite us in the ass later, but I didn’t care.

Right now, I had the role, I had Austin, and I didn’t have to choose between my relationship and my career. And that was all I’d ever wanted.

“I’m home,” Austin called, the front door thudding shut behind him. I heard the rustle of shopping bags and the sound of him kicking his trainers off. “Babe? Where are you?”

“In here,” I said, my voice hoarse. I’d been staring at the wall with my mouth open and now my tongue and throat were dry.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” I turned my head as he walked into the kitchen, putting the bags on the side. He was staring at me with concern, his eyebrow twitching in the way it always did when he was worried and trying to hide it. “It’s amazing.”

“Did something happen?”

“I just got a call. From Jenny. She offered me the part back. The studio caved. They want me to be Llewelyn.”

There was a beat of silence and I watched my words sink into Austin’s mind, the realisation dawning slowly on his face. “Are you serious?”

I nodded, tears pricking the edge of my eyes and making my vision start to blur. “Yeah.”

Austin’s cheer rang in my ears as he rushed over to me, pulling me out of my chair and into his arms, squeezing me tightly. “Fucking A! I knew it! I fucking knew it! You’re too good to let go!”

“I think Henry had a lot to do with it,” I said, my voice muffled by the fact my face was pressed into Austin’s shoulder. “From the sound of it, he’s been engaged in some sort of one-man campaign to keep me.”

Austin chuckled. “Having met him, that sounds like something he’d do.” He kissed the side of my head. “But even so, we both know that if the studio wanted to, they’d have hired someone else or recast the entire thing. You’re a catch, sweetheart, and they knew it. They just needed to realise it.”

“I’m glad they did.” I wasn’t completely convinced that Austin was right but I wasn’t going to argue with him. It wasn’t worth spoiling the moment by being self-deprecating.

“Did they say anything about us?” Austin asked quietly.

“No.” I shook my head, rubbing my nose against his shoulder. “Nothing.”

“So does that mean…”

“Yeah, I can be out and we can be as open about our relationship as we want. I don’t have to choose. I can have everything.” I smiled and hugged him tighter as a single tear trickled down my nose. “I get to have both .”

“As you should,” he said. “You deserve the world.”

I tilted my head back to look at him. “I don’t need the world. As long as I’ve got you, I’ll always have everything I need.”

He grinned. “I am pretty spectacular.”

“Yes, you are.”

“And so are you,” he said, kissing me softly. “I love you so much, Kanan. And I’m so fucking proud of you.”

“Yeah?” I asked, grinning at him.

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” He kissed me again and slid one hand up the back of my neck and into my hair. “Let me show you.”

I groaned and melted against him. “Yes. Take me to bed.”

“Oh, kitten, we don’t need to go that far.”

He kissed me harder, nipping my lip and claiming my mouth with his tongue as he pushed me up against the table. It was solidly built, made of reclaimed timber and metal, and it didn’t move as Austin put his hands on my waist and lifted me up until I was sitting on it. My laptop was still on there, but Austin slammed it shut and put it onto the chair before he turned his attention back to me and started trailing kisses down my neck.

I moaned and tipped my head to the side, exposing the sensitive skin. His fingers reached for the waistband of the shorts I’d stolen out of his drawer that morning and I lifted my ass up so he could tug them down, freeing my semi-hard cock. The table was cold under my butt, but I was too focused on the heat of Austin’s fingers as they wrapped around my shaft, teasing me to full hardness.

Gasps and pleading words ripped from my throat as he sucked marks onto my neck, delight bubbling inside me from knowing I’d see those marks in the mirror and remember this moment.

It almost made me laugh thinking about how much my attitude had changed over the last few months—from never wanting to admit that I loved hooking up with Austin to wanting everyone to know we were together and how much I loved being his.

Austin undid his jeans with one hand and pulled out his erection, stepping right between my spread thighs and spitting in his hand before wrapping his wet palm around both of us.

I groaned at the heat and tightness of his grip as he began to jerk us together, the pressure building inside me as pleasure set my whole body aflame. Austin really knew what to do with his hands and I loved the feeling of him wrapped around me, sending me higher and higher with every stroke.

“That’s it, kitten,” Austin murmured as he nipped my skin. His voice was deep and rich, rumbling through and making me shudder with delight. “Good boy, so fucking responsive for me. So pretty.” He nipped my skin again. “So proud of you, baby. You’re amazing and everyone can see that now. But only I get to see you like this, my pretty, perfect slut. Mmm, so good for me. Love you so much.”

“Love you too,” I said, groaning as he ran his thumb over the head of our cocks, smearing our precum together. “F-Fuck, that’s… Austin, I…”

“I know. Don’t hold back for me, Kanan. Come whenever you’re ready. I want to feel it.”

I gasped, my hands wrapping around his neck and digging into the meat of his shoulders as pleasure overtook me, my cock pulsing in his hand and against his shaft as ribbons of cum coated his skin, dripping down his fingers and onto my thigh. Slick, wet sounds filled my ears as Austin kept jerking us, chasing his own orgasm and dragging mine out until I was a gasping, pleading, begging mess on his table.

I didn’t even know what I was begging for, but I didn’t need to figure it out. I just let the cloud of pleasure sweep me away.

Austin groaned, panting out my name with a rumbling growl as he came, his own release mixing with mine and running down our dicks to pool at my hips and on the table. He put his forehead against my shoulder, his breath hot on my skin. My fingers were still digging into his shoulders and I was pretty sure there’d be red divots left in his skin when I let go.

Exhaling a long, slow, satisfied breath, I leant the side of my head against Austin’s.

“I love you,” I whispered, kissing the hair next to his temple.

“I love you too.” He lifted his head and kissed me properly.

“What did you get for dinner?”

“Duck legs,” he said, finally letting go of our cocks and making cooling cum trickle across my skin. “I thought I’d make that nice ragu.”

“Sounds good,” I said as I gently slid my hands up around his neck. “We should probably clean up first.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, maybe.”

“We could shower too?” I asked, the casual suggestion hanging in the air and offering so much more than a quick clean-up.

“We could.” He kissed me again, heat simmering under the sweetness.

“Want to go now?”

“Yeah,” he said, stepping back to allow me to slide off the table. I’d clean the top of it later when we came back downstairs.

Austin kicked off his jeans, leaving him standing bottomless in the middle of the dining room, and when I giggled he pulled his T-shirt off too. He held out his non-sticky hand and smiled at me.

It was a smile that said so much more than words ever could.

I love you. I’m proud of you. You’re mine.

And you will be forever.

I kicked off my shorts, threw off my T-shirt, slipped my hand into his, and pulled him towards the stairs.