Page 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Austin

Walking hand in hand with Kanan into an afterparty was something I’d never imagined happening. Yes, we’d left them together plenty of times, but entering them together? That was unheard of.

In my head it felt like a bigger deal than it actually was, but to me it signified another shift in our relationship. We weren’t just out in public for the sake of it—because we thought it would help our personal “brand” or our careers, net us an extra few minutes of press coverage and a couple of lucrative brand deals. We were out for us, because we didn’t want to have to hide our relationship every time we stepped foot outside one of our front doors.

I’d told Kanan I was happy to keep it secret if that was what he’d prefer, but I was glad he’d said no because in truth keeping it hidden sounded fucking exhausting. And I was too fuckless to do the whole secret relationship thing. I wanted to be able to show Kane off, introduce him to all my friends, and use a giant megaphone to stand on the top of the Shard and announce to all of London how I felt about this man.

And speaking of friends, I was pretty sure my phone was currently blowing up with messages from everyone I knew who’d seen the announcement, demanding to know what was going on and why I hadn’t told them. If I could’ve put money on it, I’d have put a tenner on Theo leaving a series of gradually more incomprehensible voice notes until the last one was just excited screaming.

He was going to be bloody insufferable, but I deserved it because he’d been right.

Not that I’d tell him that.

But Theo and the rest of them could wait until tomorrow. Right now I wanted to celebrate my beautiful boyfriend and help him bask in his success.

“First things first,” I said, noticing the crowd starting to gather around us. “If you want to get out of here at any point, just say and I’ll kidnap you, no questions asked.”

“Thank you,” Kane said softly, smiling politely at everyone. Most of them were members of the cast, but there was some of the production team, a few executives, a few other actors and celebrities, and what appeared to be a couple of influencers thrown in to hype up the film to their followers. “I feel like I’m about to be thrown to the wolves.”

“Would a drink help?”

“Possibly, but I don’t want to get drunk. Otherwise who knows what I’ll say.”

“At least none of the influencers have their phones. I noticed security taking them off people at the front door.”

“That’s something at least.”

“Come on, let’s get you to the bar,” I said, gently steering Kane away from the mob and casually putting myself between them and him. I wasn’t a trained bodyguard by any stretch of the imagination, but I was big enough to put a few people off, especially if I glared at them.

Maybe I needed to look at getting a few more neck and hand tattoos. That’d put people off. Or maybe we needed to look into getting Kanan some security again, especially since he was about to be fully catapulted back into the spotlight. I remembered there’d been a lot of security around when he’d been in Underground Dreaming because some of the band’s fans had been next-level obsessed, but it had been more for the group than individual protection.

I made a mental note to bring it up to Kane in the next few days and see what he thought. Miles was bound to know of some good agencies we could talk to.

The bar was as crowded as the rest of the room, but it didn’t take us too long to get served and walk away with two of the party’s signature cocktails, which had been given the names of various tropes from the film, like enemies to lovers and only one bed. There was also a giant tower of cupcakes styled to look like an outlandish wedding cake, and I was very happy to help myself to one, licking the thick icing off with my tongue.

I glanced up, buttercream still clinging to my lips, and saw Kanan staring at me with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. I kept my gaze locked on his as I swiped up the last of the icing and winked at him, which made the blush on his cheeks darken.

“You’re a dick,” Kane said under his breath, his tone laced with fondness.

“What?” I asked as innocently as I could with a mouthful of buttercream.

“Really? You know exactly what you’re doing.”

“Yeah, eating a cupcake.”

“Prick,” Kane said with an amused smile. “Come on, you’re supposed to be supporting me while I mingle, not tongue-fucking a cupcake.”

I snorted and nearly choked on the bite I’d just taken, coughing roughly and trying not to laugh because that wasn’t going to make things any easier. Kane thumped me on the back and rubbed between my shoulders, which felt harder than necessary but I knew if I questioned it, he’d say he was saving me from death by cake. Instead I took a sip of my cocktail, letting the combination of juice, syrup, and alcohol soothe my aching throat.

“If you’re jealous, we can totally take some of them back to our room later,” I said quietly. “I’ll happily lick buttercream off your dick instead.”

“Tempting but no,” Kane said.

“Aww, why not? Food in bed is fun.”

Kane raised an eyebrow and I could see his hands twitching. He probably wanted to fold his arms so he could admonish me but I could also guess what he was thinking about, so I grinned and added in a hushed voice, “I know you’ve seen the cream doughnut video, kitten.”

His face flushed scarlet and he glared at me. “Stop it! You’re being a fucking menace. Behave!”

“Okay, if you want,” I said. He looked a lot more relaxed now, so I considered that a job well done. “Who do you want to talk to first? Oh, there’s Priya! Let’s go say hi.”

I stuffed the rest of the cupcake into my mouth, not giving a fuck if I looked like a giant hamster, shoved the wrapper in my trouser pocket, and then grabbed Kane’s free hand to drag him towards his co-star, who was stood with a couple of other cast members. They all seemed excited to see him and I stood quietly as they chatted, folding myself into the conversation when necessary but being very careful not to overstep.

This was Kanan’s moment, and I wanted him to feel that spotlight and enjoy every moment. He’d earned it.

“That was more fun than I expected,” Kanan said as I closed the door to our room. He’d taken his jacket off during the party and had carried it back to the hotel, so he slung it onto the nearest armchair before kicking off his shoes and loosening his collar. “Priya’s such a sweetie! And Angelo! I don’t know how the fuck we ever got anything done on set.”

“Me neither but I’m glad the shoot was fun,” I said as I removed my own shoes, dumped my jacket, and went straight for my shirt, desperate to get some cool air on my skin. Both the cinema and the afterparty had been baking despite the air con, and now I needed to be naked. “The film turned out great. I’m so fucking proud of you.”

“Yeah, you don’t think it was too cheesy?”

“It’s a fucking rom com, kitten. They’re supposed to be cheesy as fuck, and this one was perfect. And you just looked, mmm , delicious. Absolutely, totally fuckable.”

He laughed as he pulled open his shirt, exposing miles of toned skin that had started to pick up an early summer tan. “Thanks. Any comments on my acting or just my abs?”

“Not just your abs, your butt too! But in all seriousness, you were great—funny, charismatic, sparkly. Definitely the sort of person you see and think he needs to be in bigger things ,” I said as I threw my shirt off and popped open my trousers, shoving them over my thighs and kicking them off until I was left in my pants and socks. I didn’t miss the way Kane’s eyes trailed down to my groin, but he also looked a little disappointed too. It definitely wasn’t because of my dick. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I just… okay, you can laugh, but you looked so sexy in your suit earlier I was thinking about you fucking me while wearing it… but I forgot to tell you and—”

“I can get dressed again if you want? I was just getting too hot.”

“No, it’s fine. But maybe next time?”

“Definitely next time,” I said, moving closer to him and drawing him in for a kiss. “And if there’s ever anything you want to try or do, all you have to do is say. I promise I’ll never judge, and it definitely won’t be the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard.”

He chuckled softly, his lips brushing against mine. “What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever heard?”

“Depends on your definition of weird, I guess. I’m not gonna kink shame anyone as long as everything’s safe, sane, and consensual. But I will say I’m not really into piss. Or sex on the beach—I know people think it’s fun and sexy, but getting sand in your dick is the total opposite of a good time. And I’m speaking from experience.” I grimaced as I remembered the rash I’d gotten from getting sand under my foreskin. It’d fucking itched and ruined my whole trip.

“Okay then, we’ll just stick to fucking in those huge beachside cabanas,” Kanan said with a wry smile.

“Sounds good. Mmm, I’d love to go on holiday with you—somewhere warm and private where we can walk around naked all day.”

“We can do that. I want to spend all my time with you.”

There was something about the casualness of his words, the expectation that of course we’d go on holiday together because why wouldn’t we, and the gentle insistence of spending as much time together as possible. I didn’t know what his calendar was like, but mine was pretty flexible. There were adult content creators everywhere, and I’d had plenty of messages begging me to visit cities across the world. And there was nothing that said I couldn’t film in LA while Kanan was working there…

Maybe spending more time together, both during and between his projects, would be easier than we thought.

But all of that was for tomorrow. Right now, I was ninety percent naked and there was a beautiful man in front of me waiting for me to make love to him.

I kissed Kanan again and drew him across to the bed, helping him strip off the rest of his clothes. Every touch was slow and soft, simmering with need. There was a burning intensity to every kiss, every swipe of my tongue and brush of our fingers, and it felt like everything was building to a peak, a place, that neither of us had been to before.

Our connection was something I’d never experienced. It was like lightning in a bottle.

And as I pushed my cock inside him, with Kanan’s legs around my waist as he panted and groaned into my mouth, I realised he was it for me.

I would never find anyone else like him. That what we had would be impossible to replicate, impossible for anyone else to ever measure up to, and impossible to explain.

Kanan was my everything and I loved him more than I could ever say, not even if I spent every minute of the rest of my life telling him how I felt. There was simply not enough time and not enough words.

I would have to tell him at some point, though, find a way to convey everything I felt.

And all I could hope was that he loved me in return.