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CHAPTER TEN

Kane

If I’d thought I was nervous about my first audition, it was nothing compared to the terror I felt getting out of the taxi for my chemistry read.

I still didn’t know who my partner was going to be or even if there would be more than one partner. All I had were the two snippets they’d sent me to read through and memorize. One was from a ball where the two men were conversing and trying to hide their feelings behind pleasantries and manners and one took place in a garden where the lord, Charles, found Llewelyn painting. In the second scene, they talked much more openly but it was clear the bonds of polite society were still holding them in place.

Even if those bonds were close to stretching well beyond breaking point.

The chemistry read was in the same building I’d been in last time, so I buzzed in, made my way to the waiting room, and took a seat until I was called. However, unlike last time, there was no one else waiting.

I frowned and looked around, wondering if I’d somehow missed something, but the receptionist hadn’t mentioned anything about me being early, late, or turning up on the wrong day altogether. Maybe I was the first person they were seeing and other people would be along later—that would make sense.

Still, there was a funny feeling in my stomach that ran all the way down to my toes. I wiggled them in my shoes and bounced my legs a few times, hoping to work the twisting, fizzing sensation out.

“Jude Kane?” I looked up to see Freddie, Melanie Law’s assistant, waiting at the same side door as before and grinning at me. “Do you want to come with me? We’re just back here again.”

“Yes, thank you,” I said, standing up and grabbing my bag off the floor. I squashed my nerves down as I followed Freddie through the door and towards the same studio I’d been in previously.

“In here,” he said as he opened the door. “Can I get you anything? A bottle of water maybe, or some tea?”

“Some water would be great, thanks.” I smiled at him as I stepped inside, grateful for his offer. The last thing I wanted was to randomly start coughing and derail everything. And while I had a water bottle in my bag, it never hurt to have extra.

Similarly to last time, the studio had a little bit of furniture laid out, only this time it was an easel and a box of paints along with a few fake rose bushes, and it was slightly off to one side so there was plenty of room to move around it.

Melanie Law and Jenny Hall were sitting behind their familiar table at one end, but this time there were a couple of extra people with them I didn’t recognise. All of them stopped talking as I walked across the studio and I felt slightly like I was headed for the gallows.

“Good morning, Jude,” Jenny said, giving me a broad smile. “How’re you today? Thanks for coming back to see us. Grab a seat. We’re still waiting for your partner to arrive.”

“Morning, I’m good, thanks,” I said as I headed for one of the empty chairs Jenny had pointed at. “Thanks for having me back.”

“You’re very welcome. We thought you did a good job.” Jenny picked up her pen and marked something on the sheet of paper in front of her, the colourful bangles on her wrist jangling as she wrote. “You remember Mel?”

“Yes, hi,” I said as Melanie smiled and greeted me.

“And these three,” Jenny said, gesturing at the trio sat behind her, “are Llewelyn ’s directors. This is Nick, David, and Anna. They’re here to observe and make notes but try to ignore them as best you can.”

I bit back a smile at Jenny’s mild disdain for them, as if they weren’t all people I knew, at least by reputation.

“Nice to meet you,” I said politely, giving them a little nod.

“As Jenny said,” Melanie added, “we’re just waiting for—”

Her words were cut off as the studio door flew open and a stunningly handsome man strolled through, pulling off his sunglasses and flashing us the dazzling smile that could make an entire army swoon: Henry Lu.

Fuck. Me. Sideways.

Had they really got the Henry Lu in to play Charles? What magic had Jenny worked to make that happen? Or was Jenny’s name on a project enough to draw the attention of even Hollywood’s brightest star?

“Sorry I’m late,” Henry said as he strode across the room. “Traffic was a nightmare in Central.” He stopped beside me and held out his hand as he turned his beautiful smile on me. “You must be Jude Kane. I’ve heard so many wonderful things. I’m Henry.”

As if he needed any introduction. Henry Lu was an icon.

Not only was he a brilliant actor who’d won both an Oscar and a BAFTA and had starred in the biggest blockbuster franchise in cinema history, but he was also considered one of the world’s sexiest men alive as well as a fashion darling and had a reputation as a devilishly charming, funny flirt. I’d never met him before despite being in the same room as him a couple of times at award shows, but simply being near him now was enough to make my heart skip.

I could see exactly what everyone meant when they described him as magnetic.

“Hi,” I said with a slight cough, trying to stop my voice from coming out as a high-pitched squeak only dogs could hear. “Hi, nice to meet you.”

“Gosh, aren’t you gorgeous.” He turned to Jenny and Melanie, finally letting go of my hand as he did. “I can see what you meant about him being the perfect Llewelyn. He’s got that… artistic air.”

“I thought you’d like him.” Jenny chuckled. “Well, now you’re finally here, maybe we can get on with things. And please don’t be late again, Mr. Lu. It’s one of my pet hates.”

“For you, Jenny, I’ll do anything.”

“Don’t say that,” Jenny said with a wry smile. “I haven’t written your contract yet.” She picked up her pen again and looked over at Melanie, who was watching the pair of them. I wondered if casting directors ever got awestruck or whether all actors were the same. Were we only pawns on a board to them, waiting to be moved into place? “Over to you, Mel. Let’s see what these two can do.”

Melanie nodded and turned to Henry and me. He’d seated himself next to me and crossed his legs, leaning slightly back in the chair in a way that made him look delightfully roguish. I bit the inside of my lip and forced myself to focus on what Melanie was saying.

If I couldn’t get over the realisation that I’d be reading with Henry Lu, my dreams of playing Llewelyn would be over before I could say my own name.

“Let’s start with the ball scene then,” Melanie said, gesturing to the open space behind us. “You’ve got plenty of room, but don’t worry about dancing.”

“Oh good,” Henry said quietly, shooting me a grin. “Because that is not my strong suit. There is a reason I’ve never done any musicals.”

I chuckled softly. “I don’t think my boy band dance training quite covers me for Regency balls, so I’m as lost as you.”

“True, but I assume you have basic coordination, which I’ve been told I lack.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you can’t go too wrong with standing still.”

He let out a little laugh as he stood. “Fingers crossed.” He held out his hand like a gentleman asking me to dance. “Shall we?”

I swallowed and put my hand on top of his. “Let’s do it.”

“Fabulous.” He led me into a bit of space where Jenny, Melanie, and the directors would be able to see us clearly. There were three cameras also in place around the room to capture our read from different angles for them all to rewatch later.

I’d barely noticed them when I’d entered and even now I wasn’t focused on their presence. I’d been around cameras and recording equipment for so long that having them near me almost felt normal.

I let my mind settle as Henry let go of my hand, picturing myself in the scene and sliding into Llewelyn’s skin. I still didn’t know him that well as a person, but I knew who I wanted him to be. That would have to be enough.

There was no music, no costumes, no crowd of the nobility milling around or young couples taking to the floor, but in my mind I could see them. I stood watching the crowd, a part of them but not, distanced by my lack of rank, title, and background. And when I looked over at Henry, all I could see was Charles, the lord who’d invited me to stay with him, the man who so admired my work… and the one who haunted my dreams.

“It’s tedious, isn’t it?” Henry asked as he moved slightly closer, carrying himself with slightly forced posture as if he wasn’t quite at home in his own skin. “I’ve never been much for dancing, but my sister insisted. Apparently, I have become something of a recluse from society.”

“Is that so, my lord?” I asked, allowing a brief smile to play across my lips, still looking out at the imagined crowd. “Forgive me, I would hardly call this affair the actions of a recluse.” I glanced up at him. “Although, as you said, it is not your doing. And I have been told that it is folly indeed to disagree with one’s sister, especially if they are as charming and strong-willed as Miss Campbell.”

“Indeed,” Henry said, his eyes dancing as he glanced at me. There was so much emotion in his expression and the way he carried his body. He could write an entire story with his face as easily as he breathed. Just being next to him was like getting a private masterclass in acting. “She is often right about these things. Although I would beg that you do not tell her I said that. Otherwise she is likely to become insufferable.”

“Of course, my lord. Your secret is safe with me.”

There was a beat and then Henry leant closer as if he was sharing a secret. “Tell me, Llewelyn, if you were to paint this scene, how would you do it? What would you focus on? Would it be the candlelight on the ladies’ dresses? The way the couples’ hands touch? Or would it be something else?”

On the page, it had looked like just a series of simple questions, but from Henry’s mouth it sounded so different. Almost scandalous. Seductive, even.

I let myself breathe. He hadn’t thrown me as such, but there was something about acting with someone so incredible that nudged me out of myself because I was so busy taking in everything he did. It made me want to be better, to be the scene partner he deserved.

Another heartbeat passed and I thought about Austin.

This whole scene reminded me of the way we talked to each other at parties sometimes—chatting about the most inane and random shit because the conversation wasn’t really the point. I never remembered much of it afterwards.

But I would remember the look in his eyes, the way he smiled, the feel of his hand brushing accidentally against mine, and the way I desperately wanted to be closer to him.

As I glanced across at Henry again, I imagined seeing Austin in his place, like the two of us were sat at a bar, watching the crowd at some awards show or industry party. My heart skipped as I thought about Austin’s smile—the one that always shook the very core of my being.

All I had to do was channel that into Llewelyn.

Because it was obvious we both felt the same about the men stood next to us: we needed them more than oxygen.

After that, the rest of the scene flowed easily. Jenny and the directors had a few notes, so we tried it again and then moved on to the garden scene.

I thought about Austin finding me backstage as a teenager, when we shouldn’t have been unsupervised or alone, but he’d dragged me away and allowed me to breathe, freed for a moment from my crushing boy band life.

It was the same way Llewelyn felt about Charles, and in the gardens, away from anyone else, they could finally allow a little more of themselves to shine through.

“You did well today,” Henry said when we finally finished and I was grabbing a drink. “Very well. I think you’re fucking perfect for this, actually.”

“Thanks,” I said before glancing around to see if anyone was listening, but the others were all talking quietly amongst themselves. “I really want this. Is that bad to say?”

“No, why would it be?”

“I just don’t want to jinx it.”

“I don’t think you will.” He grinned and put his hand on my shoulder. “See you soon, Jude.”

“Thanks,” I said as I picked up my bag to say goodbye to everyone.

It was only afterwards when I was stood outside waiting for my taxi and about to text Austin a full debrief that I realised what Henry had said.

See you soon .

Did that mean I’d gotten the part?

No. It couldn’t have.

But if Henry liked me… I doubted Jenny would ignore his opinion.

All I could do was keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

A little bubble of hope fizzed in my stomach as I opened my phone and pulled up my message thread with Austin, hitting the microphone button to leave him a voice note because there was far too much detail for a single text.

The only thing I planned to leave out was how much Austin had inspired me.

Because despite everything, I still wasn’t ready to cross that bridge and admit my feelings… to anyone more than myself.