Page 17 of Cinder & Secrets (Ink & Ashes #2)

Charlotte

“Shit,” River grumbles as we exit the restaurant to find it pouring down rain. “Should have checked the forecast before we walked here.” He holds his hand out from under the awning, the rain spattering against his open palm.

“What’s a little rain?” I smile, stepping out onto the sidewalk with my arms outstretched.

The downpour is torrential, the water soaking through the material of my thin top in seconds, clinging to my body like a second skin.

“A little rain?” He snorts out a laugh at the sight of me drenched to the bone.

Spinning, I turn my face up to the sky and open my mouth, allowing the sky to wet my tongue and throat with droplets of rain.

When I turn back to River, I find him watching me, a smirk tugging up the side of his mouth. God, I love that look on him.

Holding my hand out to him, I’m marginally surprised when he takes it, stepping out into the storm with me.

“See, not too bad.” I smile up at him, squinting to keep water out of my eyes.

“I think someone needs to adjust your perception of what’s not too bad.” He chuckles.

“Come here.” I press up on my toes, wrapping my arms around the back of his neck before I start to sway.

“What on earth are you doing?” He laughs, mouth open, eyes lit with humor.

“Dancing in the rain, of course.” I give him a cheeky grin.

“I wouldn’t exactly call this dancing.”

“Well, hot stuff. Then show me how you dance.”

Taking my hand in his, he squares his shoulder, his opposite hand falling to my hip.

“Like this,” he says, stepping back.

I move the opposite foot forward, matching his movements. Sidestep, backward, sidestep, forward. We waltz through the rain like a regal couple from times past.

Tipping my head back, I smile as the rain pelts my face.

“You’re beautiful,” River says, his gaze locked on me when I look back to him.

“So are you.” I smile, licking the water from my lips.

“No, I mean it, Red. You’re stunning. Even drowned like a rat...” His hand comes up to cup the side of my face as our movements slow.

“Careful, I might start to think you’re falling for me,” I tease, my stomach hollowing at the look he gives me.

“I think it’s a little late for that.” I swear is what he says, but his voice is so low and the rain is so loud that I can’t be sure.

Movement to my right catches my attention and I turn, realizing Annie is standing on the sidewalk, presumably waiting for her ride to pick her up on the curb, if the way she keeps looking down the street is any indication.

Lucky timing.

Turning back to River, I reach up and take his face in both of my hands and I kiss him like my whole world depends on it. I pour everything into the kiss, my fingers tangling in the wet strands of his hair as I hold on to the rush of emotions that pours over me.

I may have started the kiss as a fuck you to the woman stupid enough to let this man go, but it quickly morphs into something all of its own.

When River breaks the kiss, panting as he rests his forehead against mine, Annie is all but forgotten, and my singular focus is on the man in front of me.

“Keep it up and I’m liable to fuck you right here in the middle of the sidewalk,” he grumbles.

“And that’s a problem?” I pull back just enough that he can see the wicked arch of my brow.

He tips my chin with the back of his hand, his eyes searching mine like he’s looking for something he’s not sure he wants to find.

My heart stutters in my chest.

“Come on, Red. Let’s get you home and out of these wet clothes.” He grins.

“Say less.” I drag my teeth across my bottom lip before clamping down on it.

He uses his thumb to free my lip before capturing it with his own, dragging his tongue along the indentations my teeth left behind.

If I didn’t know it already, I certainly know it now...

I’m in some serious trouble.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask, my fingers moving in soft strokes through River’s silky hair.

It’s dark. So dark I can’t tell if he’s sleeping or awake, though given the even nature of his breathing, I think he might be the former. His head is lying on my chest, arm wrapped around my middle, leg thrown across mine.

We’ve been lying this way for a long time.

Since we got home from the restaurant.

Well, technically, it was a little bit after that, given that I barely stepped into the apartment and he had me stripped bare, ass on the kitchen counter as he drove into me.

After that, he carried me into his bedroom, curled up against me, and hasn’t spoken a word since.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out Annie was an unexpected and unwanted visitor. I could feel the tension radiating off him the second she approached the table.

Based on what was said, I know enough to know that she was his girlfriend once upon a time. And that she hurt him. That much was painfully obvious.

Which is precisely why I did what I did. Because if she hurt him, then I wanted to hurt her, and it was the only thing I could think of. And it worked. I knew the instant I looked up at her that I had most definitely struck a nerve. So I dug in, hoping to strike a few more.

“No.” It takes him so long to answer, I wasn’t sure he was going to. “It’s in the past.”

“You loved her.” It’s not a question. That much was pretty clear.

Another thing that’s also pretty clear is that I hate it. Though I refuse to give it any more thought beyond that.

“I did.”

“Do you still love her?”

“No.”

“What did she do?”

“Why can’t you have kids?” He abruptly changes the subject, catching me somewhat off guard. He hasn’t brought it up even once since I told him. Guess that shows how much he doesn’t want to talk about Annie.

“Promise you won’t say anything to anyone?”

“Who am I going to tell?”

Fair...

“I have a prolactinoma.”

“A what?” I feel him furrow in confusion.

“It’s a brain tumor.”

“You have a...” He starts to move, but I hold him in place with the arm that’s draped around him. Though, if he really wanted to get up, he could.

“Really, it’s a pituitary tumor but since the pituitary gland is located at the base of the skull, a lot of people call it a brain tumor.

It’s easier to explain that way. But don’t worry, it’s benign.

And as of my latest scan, isn’t growing.

But it does wreak havoc on my hormones, making it where I rarely have a period and I have to take synthetic thyroid medication to make my thyroid function properly, as well as birth control to help regulate my estrogen levels. ”

“But what is that exactly? A pituitary.”

“Basically, it’s a little gland that is responsible for producing hormones in your body. Since mine does not function properly it renders me infertile and even if I were to get pregnant, my body would not produce the appropriate hormones to sustain the pregnancy.”

“But there’s a chance?”

“I’m also on birth control, if you’re worried,” I reiterate.

“No, it’s not that. I just... Was curious if maybe one day you could. Like, can you have the tumor removed?”

“I already have. When I was seventeen. It grew back within a year. So no, it’s very unlikely because of the scar tissue from the original tumor and the fact that another one is growing in its place, flooding my body with the prolactin hormone.”

“That sounds awful.”

“Honestly, I don’t even think about it most days. It’s become such a regular part of my life, and it doesn’t really affect how I feel from day to day, as long as I take my meds, of course.”

“But you don’t tell people? Like, my sister doesn’t know.”

“No. It’s not something I like people knowing. Even though it’s not that big of a deal, I feel like people always treat me differently. Like I’m somehow more fragile because of it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’ve accepted it. Besides, could you imagine it? Me, a mom .” I shiver at the idea. “Now stop trying to change the subject and tell me what Annie did to you.”

“I think you’d make a great mom someday.”

“Well, you’d be the only one. Now stop stalling and tell me what she did.”

“Cheated on me with one of my best friends.”

I feel him tense slightly beneath me, so I resume playing with his hair in hopes of keeping him relaxed and talking.

“How long were you together?”

“Almost two years. We started dating the summer between junior and senior year. After graduation, I stayed local for school. I lived on campus, but I was still around all the time.”

“How did you find out?”

“Walked in on them.” He blows out a breath. “Though I think Jared set me up to catch them.”

“How do you mean?”

“He texted me, asked me if I wanted to hang out. Told me to just come on over, so I did. Walked into his place and he had her draped over the back of the couch, fucking her from behind, in perfect view of the front door.”

“Why would he do that?”

“Simple. Because he wanted her and she was hesitant to break things off with me, so he took matters into his own hands.”

“And they’re still together?” I caught that much too.

“Apparently so. Good for them. They deserve each other.”

He falls silent for a long moment.

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” I finally say, my voice barely breaking the surface.

“I’m sorry about the dick who broke your heart.” He turns his head upward, burying his face into the side of my neck.

“He didn’t break my heart. He opened my eyes. I’m not sorry about it and you shouldn’t be either. But what she did.” I can’t even bring myself to say the bitch’s name. What I’d like to do is go back in time and claw her fucking eyeballs out. “It’s inexcusable. And I’m sorry.”

“It was a long time ago.”

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”

“She did me a favor, honestly. I always knew something was off with us, but I was in so deep that I ignored all the red flags and warning signs. Better that it happened when it did rather than after we married or, worse, had kids.”

“Did you want those things with her?” I ask, almost afraid to hear his answer.

“Once upon a time, I thought I did.”

“You loved her so much you wanted to marry her?” I almost choke on the words.

“I did.”