Page 14 of Cinder & Secrets (Ink & Ashes #2)

Charlotte

“What do you mean you’re just now heading home?” Maisie’s voice carries through the car speakers as I merge onto the freeway, having just left River’s apartment a few short minutes ago.

Only a few miles separate us, and yet, every pore in my body mourns the loss of his nearness. I want to turn around and go back so badly I can taste it.

Much to my delight, River seemed as reluctant to let me go as I was to leave, which explains why I ended up staying another night and didn’t leave until this morning when he had to head into the office.

“Lyric said you left Friday afternoon.” Her voice is still thick with sleep and given that it’s not even nine in the morning, I think it’s a safe bet that my phone call woke her up.

“I did. I just didn’t go home.” I smile to myself, remembering exactly where I spent the weekend—pinned beneath River, looking up into those hunter-green eyes as he drove into me over and over again, taking my body to places I never even dreamed it could go.

God, just the memory has my skin heating to an uncomfortable level.

“Char?” Her tone is riddled with a hundred questions that she efficiently asks with that one word.

“Yes?” My smile widens to the point of practically splitting my face in half.

“Where have you been all weekend?” she asks, though the way she asks tells me she already knows. Her next words solidify this fact. “You were with River, weren’t you?”

“Yes,” I practically squeal.

“And given that Lyric hasn’t said a peep to me, I’m assuming she doesn’t know.”

“No.” I shake my head, even though she can’t see me. “But she did show up while I was there and I ended up hiding in River’s room.”

“Tell me you’re joking.”

“I wish I were.” I blow out a breath, her statement bringing me back down to reality quick, fast, and in a hurry.

I’ve been so overwhelmed by River, by everything that happened this weekend, that I’ve yet to let the guilt of my actions sink in. My best friend came over to visit her brother and I hid in his room, his cum still warm inside of me. The thought makes me feel nauseous.

“Charlotte.” Maisie sighs audibly. “I was fine keeping your secret when you two were just talking... But this.”

I can see her shaking her head in disapproval as if she were standing right in front of me.

“I know it makes me an awful friend, but, Mais, I can’t help it. I want him,” I admit. “And I know I shouldn’t burden you with this, but I had to tell someone. If I didn’t, I was going to explode.”

“And there wasn’t some friend at home you could tell? One who wouldn’t be betraying one of her best friends just by knowing this information?”

“They wouldn’t understand. Not like you do.”

“You are putting me in an impossible position. You know that, right?”

“I’m sorry... I—”

“So how was it?” she interrupts, a hint of resignation to her voice, like she knows now and there’s no changing it, so she might as well know the details too.

“Incredible!” I practically squeal with the excitement that bubbles out of me like lava erupting from a volcano that’s been dormant for decades. “He is... Oh my God, Mais, I don’t even think I can find the words.”

“That good, huh?”

“Even better than what you’re probably imagining.”

“Fuck me.” She groans. “If he fucks even half as good as he looks...” She trails off. “So, are you two like together now?”

“Not exactly. But he did say he would like to see me again.”

“What do you mean, not exactly?”

“We didn’t really talk about it. We were, um, well, preoccupied.”

“But did he give you the impression he wants to be with you?”

“Yes. No. Hell, I don’t know. All I know is that he was reluctant to let me leave today and that has to count for something, right?”

“Maybe. Or maybe he just wanted to fuck you a few more times.”

“I don’t see the problem with that.”

“There isn’t one. Except it’s not just sex anymore, Char. Your heart’s involved.”

“No, it isn’t,” I’m quick to deny the truth even though I basically already admitted as much.

“I’m just saying, tread carefully. I don’t want to see you get hurt. Until he actually says he wants to be with you, and Lyric knows, you need to be prepared that this may not go the way you want it to.”

“I know.” My good mood sours slightly.

“Okay. As long as you know what’s at stake.”

“I do,” I assure her, because really, I do.

“Then I won’t say another word on the matter. As long as you promise me that when this inevitably goes sideways, you won’t take me down with you.”

“I would never...”

“So you’ve got what, at least a couple of hours until you’re home?” she chimes in when I don’t continue.

“Closer to three.”

“Perfect. So you have plenty of time to tell me everything. Start from the beginning. Leave nothing out.”

And so I do.

I rehash it all, only leaving out the explicit parts that feel too personal to divulge in any great detail. By the time I finish, I feel lighter, having had a chance to say it all out loud to another living person. If I had to hold it in for much longer, I was likely to split apart at the seams.

Maisie hangs on to every word, only stopping me here and there to ask questions or clarify something.

And as we hang up the phone nearly an hour later, I’m struck by just how lucky I am to have her in my life. She may not realize it but being able to talk to her about this has given me a great deal of comfort.

Our relationship has always been a little rough around the edges, and it’s no secret that I tend to lean more on Lyric than Maisie, especially when it comes to sharing things I’m not entirely comfortable with.

But in this situation, Maisie is the perfect person to confide in, and not because she’s not River’s sister, but because we’re a lot more similar in the way we are with men, and I just feel like she understands me better in that way.

Even still, it kills me not to call Lyric and share in my happiness the way I just did with Maisie.

I could call her, lie and say it was Conner, but that feels worse than just not telling her at all.

It was one thing when we were just talking, but things have escalated way beyond talking now, and I’m not sure I could look her in the eye ever again if I continued the Conner lie.

I will let her believe that ship has sailed, and I think that’s ultimately better than cooking up more half-truths.

Besides, I only lied about Conner so that she wouldn’t constantly be asking me who I was talking to. Now that she’s moving in with Kai, she won’t be around to question me, so really, there’s no need to create more lies between us than there already are.

One day, she’ll learn the truth. I just hope like hell, when that day comes, she can find a way to forgive me.

“Are you excited to get back on campus?” River asks, the deep rasp of his voice making the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

It’s been three weeks since the weekend we spent together, and any fear I had that he would ghost me a second time had evaporated less than an hour after I returned to my parents’ house when he called me and talked to me for the entirety of his lunch break.

And then proceeded to call me every single evening that followed.

We’ve even had nights where we’ve stayed on the phone so late, neither of us wanting to hang up, that I’ve fallen asleep to the sound of him breathing and have woken up to find the call still connected several hours later.

He hasn’t said anything, but I get the feeling he likes me a lot more than he’s trying to lead on. Not that I have any problem with that.

“Not as excited as I am to see you,” I tell him, stuffing some of the clothes laid out on my bed into one of my duffels.

When he asked me to spend the weekend with him before returning to campus, there wasn’t a chance in hell I was going to say no.

My plan is to take all my bags with me because I will be heading directly to campus from River’s on Sunday afternoon.

I hate having to take so much luggage with me on the bus, but I don’t really have any other options.

And I can’t take my mom’s car this time because, well, I’m not coming back home.

Plus, she wasn’t all that thrilled with me that I kept her car three days longer than I said I would last time I borrowed it.

“Were your parents upset when they found out you weren’t staying with them your last weekend before you return to campus?”

“No, I wouldn’t say that. Maybe a little disappointed that I didn’t want them to drive me, but nothing other than that.”

“Do they know where you’re going to be this weekend?”

“As far as they know, I’ll be at UVA. I told them I was officially allowed to move into my dorm tomorrow and that I’ll be staying with Maisie and her family tonight and then heading to campus in the morning.”

In truth, move-in day isn’t until Sunday, but I figured a little white lie wouldn’t hurt anyone.

Seems to be a recurring theme of mine as of late.

Half-truths, omissions, and flat-out lies, no matter how small.

I used to pride myself on being someone who could be taken at her word, but now.

.. Guilt twists my stomach into a tight knot that I force myself to breathe through.

“What about your parents? Were they upset when Lyric left two weeks earlier than planned?” I quickly tack on, not giving him a chance to comment on me openly admitting that I lied. He probably thinks I’m a very untrustworthy person and that thought does not sit right with me.

I am trustworthy... At least, I used to be. Now I don’t know what I am.

“Not upset so much as afraid they’re gonna end up with another grandchild.” He chuckles, the sound deep and rich.

“I take it they’re not over the moon about her living with Kai?”

“That’s one way of putting it. Don’t get me wrong, they like the guy and all. It’s just...”

“Lyric is their baby,” I finish for him, already knowing exactly what he was going to say.

“Exactly.”