Page 68 of Chasing Shelter (Sparrow Falls #5)

FALLON

FOURTEEN YEARS LATER

Cupping my hands around a mug that read World’s Best Aunt , I inhaled deeply.

The scent of dark roast filled my nose, deep and rich with hints of dark chocolate and almonds.

Or maybe I was imagining that. It didn’t matter.

Only one thing did. “Do your job, sweet, sweet caffeine,” I whispered into the cup as if to manifest some sort of wakefulness.

Taking a long pull of coffee, I closed my eyes—eyes that felt like they were full of acid-coated sand. But I felt slightly more human after a few sips.

I opened my eyes and set the mug on the dresser.

Countless rings littered the surface from endless mornings just like this one.

It drove my mom crazy. She was constantly giving me coasters or offering to refurbish the top.

But the coasters got lost in the chaos of my minuscule cottage on the edge of town, and the dresser had character.

Or as Lolli said, “It’s seen some things, baby girl. ”

Moving around my room, I pulled up the covers on my bed and winced at the stack of file folders and the laptop on my nightstand.

Paperwork. There was never-ending paperwork when you worked for the child welfare arm of the Department of Human Services.

And nine times out of ten, it was the reason for my two a.m. bedtimes.

I reached for my coffee and took a sip at the reminder of just how little sleep I was going on.

My phone dinged, and I reached over to swipe it from the charging dock, nearly upending the Leaning Tower of Paperwork in the process. I muttered a curse as hot coffee sloshed onto my hand but managed not to do any serious damage. My sibling group chat flashed on the screen.

Shep has changed the name of the group to Cope’s Tighty-whities.

I frowned at the screen. My siblings were always trying to one-up each other by changing the chat name, but this was a new one.

Shep

Look what I spotted at the grocery store this morning…

A photo of a magazine filled the screen.

Sports Today had one photo on the cover.

My brother, the hockey star, shirtless with some sort of oil on his chest and his hair slicked back.

He wasn’t in his underwear, thank the gods above, but he was in workout shorts that left little to the imagination. My nose scrunched up.

Me

I really didn’t need to see this before breakfast. I feel a little ill.

Cope

Rude. Sutton said I look great.

Rhodes

Your fiancée can’t exactly be trusted to be impartial.

Kyler

Did they dip you in a vat of olive oil for this? Give you a rubdown with a tub of Crisco? I need to know the background.

Everyone in my family called Kyler by his nickname, Kye, but I could never find it in me to switch his name in my phone. Like so many other things, it was a reminder of what could’ve been. A brand of something I could never let go, even though it would never be mine.

Trace

That photo is obscene. It’s like gray sweatpants but worse.

Rhodes

Ah, gray sweatpants. Men’s slut clothes. I think it’s cold enough for me to leave a few pairs out for Anson to wear.

That had a smile tugging at my lips.

Me

Let me know how the hater of sunshine and bright colors responds to having to walk around in lingerie.

Rho’s fiancé was a notorious grump who’d communicated in mostly grunts and scowls until she came into his life. But everything had changed when the ex-profiler found her—when they’d found each other. A pang lit along my sternum. I set my phone on the dresser and rubbed the spot.

Arden

It’s too early for Cope’s junk to be in my face. But I’m sure the puck bunnies will be thrilled.

Cope

Don’t say puck bunnies around Sutton. She gets a little stabby.

Arden

I think I’ll get her a switchblade for Christmas.

A soft sound of amusement left my lips as I started on my makeup. In our family, Arden was known for pulling a knife first and asking questions later—which was exactly how she’d met her now-fiancé, Lincoln.

Cope

Please, don’t. I’m not sure I can afford the lawsuits.

Shep

You’ll all be happy to know that I sent this photo to Lolli, and she said she’s going to turn Cope into a fairy prince in her next art piece.

A grin finally found my lips as I struggled to keep the cover-up where it was supposed to go.

Lolli was infamous for her inappropriate diamond art creations.

They all had some kind of phallic or sexual bent to them.

And no matter how hard a time Mom or my siblings gave her, she never stopped gifting them.

Cope

There will be payback, hammer boy. She’s probably going to have me mounting a poor, defenseless fairy.

Rhodes

You could luck out and be part of one of her throuple creations. Remember the elf queen Eiffel Tower piece?

Trace

My eyes still haven’t recovered.

I studied my face in the mirror and winced. My dark circles would need two coats of makeup today.

Kyler

I’m demanding to know her artist’s vision at dinner tonight.

A curse slipped past my lips as I glanced at the stack of work on my nightstand.

Me

I might have to miss tonight. Sorry, guys. Give me the play-by-play if I do.

Rhodes

What’s going on? You’ve been totally MIA lately.

Guilt pricked at me because she was right. I’d missed more family dinners over the last month than I had in the past five years.

Me

Sorry. Work’s nutty right now. We’re down a caseworker, and things have just been…a lot. But I’ll try to make it. Promise.

Kyler

Let me guess who’s picking up the slack.

I scowled at my phone, both because he was right and because he knew why this was so important to me. Not just because I knew how deep the need for social workers and support systems was for these kids, but because of him .

Kye was an invisible brand on my bones. Something I carried with me wherever I went, in whatever I did—even if no one ever knew.

Trace

You need to take care of yourself, or you won’t be able to help anyone.

That only deepened my scowl. Trace had retained the overprotective-big-brother role for all of us. Now, he was also the sheriff, extending that protectiveness to the entire county.

Me

I know what I can handle. Love you all.

Cope

That’s Fal-speak for fuck off.

Arden

You’d all better watch your backs, or you’re gonna get glitter-bombed.

I wanted to smile at her reference to my favorite version of retribution but couldn’t quite get my mouth to obey. I was too tired. Instead, I locked my phone and finished getting ready. I donned my typical slacks and button-down and wove my blond hair into a braid.

There was only one piece missing. My hands moved to my jewelry tray and the necklace there—the arrow I’d worn every day for as long as I could remember.

I fastened it around my neck and stared at the tiny charm.

Tracing it with my fingertips, I swore I could still feel the echo of Kye’s fingers doing the same thing.

I squeezed my eyes shut and let myself remember those days for a fleeting handful of moments. I called on the ghost of Kyler, letting the memory wrap around me, allowing myself to recall what it had felt like to be his.

When I opened my eyes, he was gone. No more Kyler. Only Kye. The only foster brother I’d never see as what I should: a sibling and nothing more. Because it didn’t matter if it had been fourteen seconds or fourteen years, he’d always be the boy who’d given me everything.

My hatchback sputtered slightly as I parked in a spot at the end of a row. I grimaced and turned off the engine, giving the dashboard a little pat. “Just make it through this winter, and I’ll retire you somewhere nice and sunny.” Like the junkyard.

Climbing out of my car, I moved to the back and grabbed my overflowing tote bag.

While the rear seat was tidy, the back was littered with a second set of basically everything I might need since I practically lived out of my car some weeks: countless water bottles, workout gear, changes of clothes for court or jeans to go riding with Arden and Keely, even a pillow and a blanket.

It had also become home to my backups for everything I could possibly need for the kids I worked with: clothing, books, toys, snacks, and a first-aid kit. It was a chaotic disarray, but it worked.

I closed the back door and beeped my locks. Even that sounded a little sad and tired. “Me, too, buddy. Me, too.”

Rolling my shoulders back, I started toward the office. Mercer County Child Welfare served five different towns and the surrounding areas. Including the support staff, five of us worked here. We could’ve used at least twice that number.

As a caseworker, it was recommended that I work on no more than twenty-five cases at a time.

I currently had thirty-two. The past few months had shown me exactly why so many social workers got burned out.

The work could be hard on your soul, and when you were overtaxed on top of it? It was a recipe for disaster.

But it was also the most rewarding job I could imagine doing.

There was no better feeling than helping families on their way to healthy reunifications or getting kids into new environments where they could finally soar.

There were always cases where it didn’t feel like a win was possible, and the best you could hope for was survival.

But that didn’t mean I would stop fighting.

Every single child’s file that crossed my desk deserved my best. And that’s what they would get. Even if I had to go without sleep to give it to them.

A buzzer sounded as I entered the office, and Mary Lou looked up from her reception desk. “Morning, Fal.”

“Morning,” I greeted. “How’s Ginny? Her cold any better?”

“Much. Unfortunately, Tom caught it, and you know what that means.”

I shuddered. “Not the man flu.”

Mary Lou chuckled. “You know it.”

“May the force be with you.”

“I’ll take whatever I can get.”