Page 36 of Chasing Shelter (Sparrow Falls #5)

TRACE

Leah held my gaze, a hint of hardness slipping into her expression. “You just let our daughter go hang out with a stranger?”

My jaw wound tighter with each word that slipped from my ex’s mouth. “I think you know me better than that.”

I’d never put Keely at risk. That girl was my life, and Leah knew it.

She shifted uncomfortably as if reading the thoughts swirling in my mind. “Well, she’s a stranger to me. Don’t you think I should know who Keely’s spending time with?”

“I have friends you don’t know. Ones that are around Keely plenty. Why is this suddenly an issue?”

Leah’s lips pressed into a firm line. “A friend.”

“Yes, I do occasionally have one of those.” The only problem was that Ellie was so much more than that. I had no idea how to classify her when both of us were running from what I knew it had the potential to be.

I liked things to fit in neatly ordered boxes, and Ellie didn’t do that. She scribbled outside every line. She refused to play by any rules. And slowly, she was making me realize that what I needed wasn’t what I’d originally thought.

“Are you sleeping with her?”

The question jerked me from my thoughts and nearly had me rearing back. “You know that’s none of your business, Le.”

Neither Leah nor I had been in a serious relationship since the divorce.

She’d dated here and there but never brought any of the guys around Keely because it hadn’t reached that stage.

I’d gone on a handful of dates that had gone nowhere because nothing seemed right.

But neither of us had ever been territorial over the other.

The muscle where Leah’s jaw met her cheekbone began to pulse, her tell that her annoyance, anger, or some other emotion was mounting. “We share a daughter.”

“We do. And she is one hundred percent your business. Who I have in my bed is not. You’ll get a call if I’m moving someone in or getting married. That’s it.”

Leah let out a frustrated huff, the only expulsion of emotion she seemed to allow. “It’s as easy as that for you?”

“Le, talking about who either of us is involved with isn’t exactly healthy. Let’s stay focused on our daughter, all right?”

“Sure,” she muttered and turned, stalking toward her car.

I reached up and pinched the bridge of my nose as hard as I could. Sometimes, the pressure points there could clear the tension headache away. Somehow, I had a feeling this wouldn’t be one I could stave off.

Fuck.

None of this was easy. None of it was how I’d wanted it to be when I asked Leah to marry me.

But as I watched her walk to her car, get in, and mindfully close the door without even a slam to betray how she felt, I wasn’t sorry that we’d ended up here.

Because there’d never been the kind of fire between us that there should’ve been.

And for the first time, I could see why she’d strayed. What she was reaching for when she had. Because I had flickers of that more , that fire, with Ellie.

I turned and stared up at the pale purple house, hearing the faintest strains of some god-awful pop music from inside. But it made a smile tug at my lips. I strode toward the front door and opened it, the music intensifying.

Crossing to the living room, I took in total and complete chaos. Furniture was piled in the center of the room in a completely disorganized fashion and covered with a plastic tarp. Trays of paint lay in a haphazard array. But my girls…they were having the time of their lives.

Keely wore what had to be one of Ellie’s T-shirts as makeshift coveralls, and they both shimmied and shook as they worked on the lightest part of a rainbow, the yellow.

It wasn’t your average, in-the-lines rainbow.

I could see from a red curve Ellie had been working on earlier that it was imperfect and wild, not playing within expectations.

It looked like a watercolor someone had dumped drops of water on.

I could see how it would take shape, and it was perfect in all its imperfections. It was Ellie. It was what Ellie was showing me I could be.

A series of barks tore through the air, and teeth suddenly sank into my jeans-clad ankle. Or should I say tooth . Because Gremlin really only had one snaggletooth left, and it was loose on a good day.

I glared down at him as Keely spun around.

“Daddy, look what we’re making!” she cheered.

I tipped my head up to take them in again. “Pretty amazing.”

Ellie set down her paintbrush and crossed to me, picking up the little beast. “Grem, that’s not nice.”

“Don’t think he gives a damn,” I muttered.

Ellie’s mouth curved. “You know, Chief, I’ve heard a few cuss words slipping from your mouth lately.”

I shrugged. “Better fine me. We’ve got a swear jar at my house. It’d be nice to have something other than Kye’s money in there.”

Ellie laughed, the sound wrapping around me. Even that was a little wild. “Come on, I’ll get you something to drink. I already got Keely some strawberry bubble water.”

Strawberry bubble water. Jesus, even her water was whimsical. But I followed her into the kitchen .

Ellie set Gremlin on the floor, and he let out a little growl in my direction. “Be nice,” she said. Opening the fridge, she gave it a once-over. “I’ve got strawberry bubble water, beer, Coke, and a half-drunk bottle of rosé.”

An image of Ellie dancing around her living room in her underwear with a glass of wine popped into my head. “I’ll take the beer.”

She leaned in, those awful coveralls pulling taut across her ass, grabbed a bottle, opened it, and handed it over. “You should really have this in a glass with an orange, but I ate my last one with breakfast.”

I took the bottle from her, our fingers brushing, that phantom energy swirling between us. “I think I’ll survive.” I took a swig of the beer as she leaned back against the counter. “What spurred all this on?” I gestured to her outfit, knowing she’d understand that I meant the mural.

Shadows flickered across Ellie’s expression, and I wanted to take the question back, but then they passed, morphing into something I couldn’t quite read. “Seeing Kye’s murals at Haven reminded me of something I wanted. Reminded me that I could have that now.”

I frowned. There was no denying that my brother was talented. His artistry was the kind of thing that held people captive and made them travel from all over the world to have his pieces inked into their skin. But this was more than a search for artistry.

Ellie’s fingers curled around the lip of the counter, bleaching white. “My dad hated bright things. Hated anything that didn’t fit into his neat and orderly world of what was acceptable .”

Hell.

“I always wanted a rainbow in my bedroom growing up. Decided it was time I gave it to myself. No rules about rainbows in this house.”

I suddenly wanted to pick up a paintbrush and cast her entire house in every color imaginable. But I knew it was more powerful if she gave it to herself. And it said something that she was letting Keely—letting me —into it all. “You’re finding your magic again.”

One corner of Ellie’s mouth kicked up, making the specks of yellow paint on her cheek catch the light. “I guess I am.”

I moved into her space, unable to resist the pull of everything that was Ellie, dying to catch a little of the sunshine that was her.

My lips brushed across hers once, twice, and then I took the kiss deeper.

My tongue stroked in, needing more of her taste—a taste I knew would haunt me for the rest of my days.

Ellie moaned into my mouth, and my dick stiffened. I forced myself to pull back, knowing if I didn’t, I’d be doing things I definitely shouldn’t while my daughter was in the next room. Ellie’s eyes were unfocused, and she blinked a few times as if trying to clear her vision. “What was that for?”

“Maybe I needed a little of that magic, too.”

Wariness slid into Ellie’s expression, instantly setting me on edge, but she didn’t look away from me. “What are we doing?”

A fair question, one I’d been wrestling with. “I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “But for the first time I can remember, I’m okay with that. No plan, no destination.”

“Just seeing where it leads and having fun?” she asked, a little of that uncertainty melting away.

I stepped a little closer, into that danger zone. “I know I don’t want to hold myself back from you.” It was more truth than I normally offered. Because it gave the other person power. And that wasn’t something I relinquished easily.

“I don’t either. Even though I should.”

My gaze roamed over her face, searching those pale green depths. “Why?”

“Trace, I’m a mess. I don’t know up from down. What I want to do for a career. What I want my life to look like. Who I want to be. It’s not fair to tie you up in that.” She took a deep breath. “And I don’t want my involvement with you to skew figuring that out.”

“Are you listening to some ridiculous pop playlist that makes me want to jab an ice pick into my eardrums?”

Ellie frowned. “Well, that’s rude, but yes.”

I grinned at her. “Told you I hated that stuff.”

“You did…” A glare took root in her expression.

“Baby, you don’t give a damn that I hate it. You’re still listening. You’re being who you want to be. Rescuing a goat and a feral dog and painting a rainbow on your wall. You’re you, and you don’t care that I wouldn’t do any of that.”

Ellie stared back at me for a long moment, a million things flitting across her expression.

My grin widened. “Honestly, I think you’d do the opposite of whatever I say because you love pissing me off. You rearranged my cabinets.”

A laugh bubbled out of her. “Might do your linen closet next.”

I pinned her with a hard stare. “Don’t you dare.”

Those beautiful lips twitched, and then she sobered, looking into my eyes. “I’m not afraid to go against what you want. Why is that?”

I lifted a hand, my thumb ghosting over the specks of yellow paint on her cheek. “Sometimes, we need a brutal moment to teach us what we won’t stand for. You’ve had a few of those lately. Hate it for you. But it also broke you free.”

“Free,” Ellie whispered.

I pressed a kiss to her temple. “You stood up to me at Haven. Told me what you wanted and what you didn’t. Put me in my place. You’re not going to let anyone walk all over you again. Trust yourself. I do.”

“Chief,” she whispered, emotion clogging her voice.

“Proud of you. You can kick my ass any day.”

I felt her laugh more than I heard it as she pulled back. “Thank you.”

The genuine emotion in Ellie’s voice, in her eyes, nearly brought me to my knees. “Blaze?—”

“Daddy!” Keely yelled from the other room.

I wasn’t sure what Keely had cut me off from saying, but it was probably a good thing. I grinned down at Ellie. “Always something.”

We moved from the kitchen to the living room, Gremlin trailing behind us, grumbling as he went.

“Bestie, you are doing such an amazing job,” Ellie praised.

Keely beamed at her and then turned that smile on me. “Daddy, can I do this in my room? ”

I sighed, looking at Ellie. “First the goat. Now, a mural. There’s going to be payback.”

Ellie’s eyes twinkled. “Oh, I don’t know. I can think of a few ways I could pay up.”

She was going to kill me. And I’d gladly let her take me down every time.