Page 49 of Chasing Shelter (Sparrow Falls #5)

ELLIE

I pulled up the covers on Trace’s bed as Gremlin snored softly on his donut version in the corner.

Trace’s décor was slightly surprising in its put-togetherness.

The blue and gray tones complemented nicely, especially with the stunning black-and-white photo of the Monarch Mountains on the far wall.

And the bed itself felt like floating on a cloud.

Lifting the neck of the perfectly worn T-shirt to my nose, I inhaled deeply.

Sandalwood. Black pepper. Trace. I wondered if there was a way to put the blend of scents in a candle or room spray.

The two T-shirts I’d stolen from him were already losing their scent, and I knew I’d be trying to find a way to bring this one home tomorrow.

Home.

I shuddered at the thought. Because I wasn’t sure it felt like that anymore. It didn’t matter how many murals I splashed across the walls or how much color I imbued in every room. It would still be the place that someone violated.

Pressure built behind my eyes, dying to break free.

I hadn’t cried. Not yet. If I broke now, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to pick up the pieces this time.

There was too much. Finding out my father was more of a monster than I ever could’ve known.

Realizing I’d promised forever to a man who was much the same.

Trying to start over. To build a new life. Only to have it broken into.

My breaths started to come faster just as the door to the bathroom opened and Trace stepped out.

His hair was still on the cusp of wet from his shower, and he wore blue-and-green flannel pajama bottoms with a Mercer County Sheriff’s Department tee that had clearly seen more than a little use.

The moment his dark green eyes locked on mine, Trace knew something was wrong.

He was at my side in a second, climbing onto the bed and framing my face with his big, callused hands. “You’re okay. You just need to slow those breaths. Focus on me.”

I tried to do as he said, to see Trace and nothing else, but the pressure just kept building. In my chest. Behind my eyes. Everywhere. As if with one wrong move, my whole body would explode.

“When is my life my own?” The words tore out of me, garbled by the tears finally breaking free.

Trace’s hands dropped from my face but only so he could pull me into his arms. “Ellie.”

It was all he said. There was no telling me I was wrong or even trying to soothe my feelings by brushing them away. But my name on his lips was a vow. One that told me he’d be with me through it all.

“W-when do I get ownership of it? Of myself? Even when I start over, my dad’s still trying to manipulate me, to move his chess pieces to get what he wants. Bradley won’t stop calling, texting, maybe so much worse. When do I get to be free?”

The words tumbled from me like a wave of hot lava, pouring out and burning everything in its path. But Trace wasn’t scarred by it at all. He simply pulled back, slid a hand along my jaw and into my hair, and held on. “What do you need?”

I didn’t know. Didn’t have the first clue.

“Whatever you need, it’s yours. Right now.

Want to put a pegacorn over my headboard?

I’ll get the paint. Want to turn my backyard into a goat sanctuary?

I’ll get the feed. Need to hit something?

I’ll take you to Haven and spar with you until you pass out.

Whatever it is. I’m here. With you. Always. ”

Every offer burned into me. And those last words…they were so much more. I could read beneath them to the meaning below. Maybe because I felt it, too. The words neither of us had spoken for so many reasons.

I moved then, straddling Trace’s lap, my tee riding up my bare thighs. “I need you. Need this.” My mouth met his in a kiss that was more than a little desperate as my fingers threaded through his hair. “I need to feel everything. What it is to come alive and come apart. Because I made the choice.”

Trace gazed up at me, searching, checking to make sure this was what I really wanted. What I needed. And then he saw…something. “You need to own this moment. This choice. Because it’s your life.”

I nodded. “Because you are my choice.”

Trace’s eyes softened then, but heat smoldered in the green depths, turning them to glittering emeralds. “There haven’t been many times in my life where that was the case.”

His words hit me like painful blows—bombs of realization.

Because Trace hadn’t been put first much.

Not by his mom or dad. Not by Leah. Nora and Lolli had given him that, but Trace hadn’t fully let them.

I could see how he’d taken it upon himself to caretake all of them.

To focus on their safety and well-being and not think about his—or better yet, what would make him happy.

“Trace,” I rasped, my lips hovering over his, making the barest contact on that single syllable. “I choose you.”

His hands moved then, sliding up my thighs and gripping the hem of my tee. He pulled it off in one swift movement, and I watched with pleasure as his pupils dilated, and he let out a sound that resembled a growl. “Ellie…”

My mouth curved the slightest amount. “Yes, Chief?”

“You got into my bed with no panties and no bra?”

“I believe I did.”

“Fucking hell,” he muttered.

I squirmed on his lap as heat gathered between my thighs .

“Blaze,” he warned.

“I told you what your cursing does to me.”

Trace didn’t wait, he ducked his head, taking my nipple into his mouth and sucking hard. I pushed up on my knees, rising for more contact. My back arched as my lashes fluttered, and Trace hummed around the hard peak.

The sound sent the most delicious vibrations through me, as though that bundle of nerves had a direct line to my core. A rush of heat, wetness, and need pooled between my thighs.

Trace glided a hand up my inner thigh, teasing the sensitive skin until he reached the apex. He grazed his knuckles over my slit, groaning as he did. His fingers delved deeper. Teasing. Toying. Tempting. All as his lips pulled my nipple deeper into his mouth.

My back bowed as every nerve-ending drowned in Trace. His fingers, his lips, his tongue.

Those beautiful, thick fingers slid inside me, stretching as their callused tips teased. I shuddered, and Trace released my nipple, leaning back against the pillows. “Too much?”

I shook my head, my hair moving around my shoulders, the silky feel of it only making my skin pebble more. “Perfect.”

A smile tipped Trace’s lips as his fingers worked in and out of me. “Love watching you like this. Owning every part of your choices. Taking control of your pleasure.”

I shuddered again, his fingers lighting little quakes in me.

But my hands reached down and searched for a hold on Trace’s shirt.

I grabbed at the cotton, pulling it up and over, losing his fingers for a painful moment.

But the loss for those handful of seconds only heightened the feeling when they returned.

And wasn’t that life? How losing things sometimes made you appreciate their existence all the more.

Trace’s fingers swirled inside me, making me whimper. I had to steady myself on his shoulders. My nails dug into taut muscles as those fingertips dragged down my inner walls.

“Don’t come,” he ordered. “I want to feel every flutter. Every pulse. I need to know what it is to drown in you. ”

My eyes locked with his. “Please.” I needed to feel that. After all the tempting and teasing, the almosts and interruptions, I needed to know what it was to become one with this man. To have all of him.

“I’ve had a checkup, and it’s been a long time for me,” Trace said, his eyes not straying from mine.

“I have, too, and I’m on the pill. I want to feel all of you. No more half measures.”

Trace’s hips flexed as he lifted himself and pulled his pajamas down. My hand moved on instinct, wrapping around his thick length and stroking, once, twice, a third time.

“Ellie,” Trace growled. “You undo me.”

I dropped my mouth to his. “Lose yourself in me instead.”

Trace’s fingers were gone in a flash. His hands gripped my hips, but there were no forceful movements, not even a guiding suggestion. Instead, he let me take the lead as he looked into my eyes. “Your show. Your life. Whatever you need.”

Emotion clogged the back of my throat. The way this man saw every last piece of me and let them all shine. Let them all be whatever they needed to be.

As I sank onto Trace, my eyelids fluttered. I was nearly overwhelmed by the sheer stretch. But I didn’t let myself miss a single thing. The scent of Trace all around me. The way his fingers tightened on my hips. How it felt to finally have him filling me.

“Don’t steal those eyes from me, Blaze. Need to see you. All of you. Need to see that light green catch fire.”

My eyes flew open at his words, connecting with his dark green depths. There was something about us sharing that color. How we were two sides of the same coin. The light and the dark. Balancing each other and coming together to create something neither of us could’ve done alone.

I rose slightly and then lowered again, this time not losing Trace for a second. He joined me there, hips flexing and helping me find a rhythm that was ours alone. The light and dark swirling together.

Trace’s thumb circled my nipple, and then his fingers twisted the hard peak. It was as if someone had lit a sparkler above my head, and all the tiny flickers of light and flame danced across my skin. My body moved quicker now, the stretching glide nearly pulling me under.

But I never lost those dark green eyes. “Please,” I begged.

“Need more, Blaze?”

“Yes,” I breathed.

Trace gave me what I needed, just like he’d promised. His fingers tightened on my hips as he powered up, muscular thighs driving him into me. My mouth fell open, and my jaw fluttered as I took it all. The power, the emotion, the need.

We met each other in that desperate place, pouring everything we felt into it. The fear at the danger swirling. The anticipation of the unknown at our door. The emotion that we both hadn’t yet named out loud.

Trace’s finger found my clit and circled. “That’s my girl. We find it together.”

As the circles drew tighter over that bundle of nerves, the cord inside me wound so tight it was on the brink of fraying.

“Let me see the flames in that pale green. Let me watch you burn.” One more flick of my clit, and I burst into flame.

I clamped down on Trace as my orgasm hit, so powerful that tiny flashes of rainbow light erupted in front of my eyes. But I still didn’t close them. I didn’t lose sight of Trace, not for a single second.

He arched up into me, going impossibly deeper, finding a spot that had another wave of sheer sensation hitting me with enough force that I had to hold on to Trace’s shoulders. He thrust again, this time emptying into me but never losing my eyes.

I took it all. Everything Trace had to give. And somehow, through it all, I felt more like the me I was always meant to be because of it.