Page 34 of Chasing Shelter (Sparrow Falls #5)

ELLIE

I shoved my sweatshirt into my gym bag and slammed the locker door. The force of it echoed around the empty room, even with the strains of rock music still making their way through the wall. I was furious at everyone and everything.

My dad for creating such a toxic and cruel environment that’d started everything.

My brother for leaving and breaking free when I needed him.

My mom for giving up instead of continuing to fight.

Bradley for not giving a damn about who I really was or if I was happy.

Trace for doubting what I was capable of.

But most of all, I was angry at myself. The rage I felt pointed inward was so much stronger than anything else. Because I’d stayed. I hadn’t fought. I hadn’t spoken my needs aloud. I hadn’t battled for my own happiness. Anger, guilt, and shame swirled in an ugly stew.

I swiped at the furious tears that spilled over and tracked down my cheeks. I was angry at them, too. Yanking the door open, I stepped into the hall and ran right into a wall of muscle.

I looked up, up, up, and into dark green eyes. The moment Trace registered my tears, his expression turned thunderous. He grabbed my hand and tugged me down the hall.

“What are you?—?”

Trace opened the door to what Arden had pointed out as Kye’s office and pulled me inside, slamming the door behind us.

I glared up at him—a look dulled by the fact that I could still feel tears in my eyes. “What do you want?”

“You’re crying.”

“Thanks, Captain Obvious. I know. And you probably think that makes me weak, too?—”

“You aren’t weak,” Trace growled. “That’s the last thing in the world you are.”

I sucked in a breath, searching for words as I tried to process his statement. “You didn’t seem to think so earlier.”

Pain streaked across Trace’s expression.

But I couldn’t let it deter me. I needed him to see. To understand. “What I needed today was to feel strong. To start the process of standing on my own for once. To be in my power. And you came in and tried to take that away.”

“I know,” Trace whispered. “And I’m so damn sorry.

But all I saw was him hurting you. I couldn’t take it.

It was bad enough seeing that bruise on your face when you got to Sparrow Falls.

Trying so desperately to hide that someone had put their hands on you in anger.

When you told me what your ex had done, I wanted to hurt him ten times worse because that’s the truth of what lives inside me.

But seeing it in the present? I couldn’t take it. I can’t handle you experiencing pain.”

My heart hammered against my ribs as I watched each of Trace’s ragged inhales and exhales, watched him breathe through the pain all over again. I moved into his space, my hands lifting to his stubbled cheeks. “Life will always have pain. I just want to own mine.”

A muscle fluttered wildly in Trace’s cheek. “Okay.”

“Just that simple?” I pushed.

“I’ll always want to keep you safe. That’ll never change.” He took a step toward me, his hand lifting and ghosting under the eye that had been bruised. “I’d give anything to erase every ounce of pain you’ve ever felt.”

“Trace…”

He leaned in closer, his hand sliding along my jaw. “But I’m not trying to control you the way that douchebag ex of yours did.”

My heart hammered against my ribs as his sandalwood and black pepper scent swirled around me. “Good.” The single word stuck on my tongue.

“You deserve so much more.” Trace’s hand dropped to my hip, urging me back slowly until I hit the door.

His head bent, his lips skimming my brow.

“You deserve to be in your power.” His mouth trailed lower, featherlight touches until he reached my lips.

And there he stayed, speaking against them.

“You deserve someone on their knees for you, not someone forcing you to yours.”

I felt the brush of each word, the way they coursed through me, pulling me up and making me brave, and couldn’t stop closing the distance.

I took Trace’s mouth, and he let me, inviting me in.

The taste of mint and a hint of coffee played over my tongue, along with something that belonged to Trace alone.

I moaned as his tongue dueled with mine. I let loose everything I’d been holding inside for far too long. Frustration and need warred in equal measure, and the only cure was Trace.

Until he tore his mouth from mine, breathing heavily. I was about to tear into him for some misguided attempt at protecting my virtue, but then Trace dropped to the floor.

“What are you doing?” I rasped.

“Showing you what you deserve.” He gazed up at me, his eyes a little wild. “Tell me I can show you.”

My heart hammered against my ribs, and my mouth went dry. But there were only two words on my tongue. “Show me.”

A fire lit in Trace’s dark green depths, making his eyes glow like emeralds. His hands dropped to my foot, pulling the shoe free. “Nothing but rainbows,” he rasped. “Magic. Just like you.”

My throat worked as I tried to swallow. “Trying to find that magic again. ”

Trace’s expression softened as he removed my other shoe. “Never lost it. It’s been there all along. You’re just letting the world see it now.”

My heart did a ragged stutter-step. Each word he gave me was like a tiny explosion in my chest, pleasure and pain springing to life.

Trace’s hands slid up my legs, fingers trailing along the rainbow piping. “Killing me in this fucking outfit. Just like that schoolgirl skirt last night nearly gave me a coronary. Everything about you is meant to bring me to my knees, isn’t it?”

My mouth curved. “Good to know my fashion efforts aren’t wasted.”

Those dark green eyes sparked to life as Trace trailed his thumb over the seam of my leggings at the apex of my thighs. “Blaze, they are very much appreciated.”

I sucked in a breath, my head tipping back against the door. As Trace moved his thumb back and forth, teasing me through the spandex, sparks danced across my skin. “The way you move. Back arched. Chest heaving. Want to memorize every line and curve.”

“Trace,” I breathed.

“Not enough?” he rasped.

“No.” It wasn’t nearly enough. Because when it came to Trace, I wanted everything.

It didn’t matter that the timing was all wrong or that there were a million different risks.

There was something about him, about this moment.

It made me feel like I could find that wildness and freedom again. Like I could find that magic.

“Gonna show you, Blaze. Everything you deserve.” Trace’s fingers hooked the band of my leggings, and he slowly began pulling them down, his thick knuckles grazing my thighs. A sound that resembled an animalistic growl lit the air. “No goddamned underwear?”

My head pressed harder against the wood of the door as a smile tipped my lips. “Can’t really wear ‘em with these.”

“Fucking hell. You’re gonna have to give me your training schedule because I can’t be in here when you are. Gonna have a hard-on while trying to spar.”

A laugh bubbled out of me and, God, it felt so good. Like a release of everything that had been swirling inside me. But the sound died on my lips as Trace pulled my leggings off one foot and leaned in toward the apex of my thighs.

“Smell like heaven.” His lips and tongue trailed across my inner thigh. “Taste like sin.”

My lips parted as I struggled for breath.

And then Trace was moving again, lifting one leg over his shoulder.

The move had me bracing myself against the door, tipping my head down to see him.

And something about the sight…the hold Trace had put himself in, made me feel more powerful than I ever had before.

“Trace,” I whispered.

“Need better access to worship my girl. Need to see all of her.”

My girl. Those two words swirled in my mind like the best compliment and kindest praise. After everything I’d been through, I would’ve thought the my in that statement would’ve gotten my back up. But it didn’t feel like a claim. It felt like…belonging. The best kind.

Trace’s tongue darted out, circling my clit. My back arched, head pressing into the door again as my breaths turned to ragged pants. Every swipe set off a series of tiny explosions under my skin—the kind that promised the shattering to come.

I reached out a hand to grab Trace’s shoulder, needing to ground myself. He slid two fingers inside me, and my jaw went slack at the delicious glide, the feel of him slowly stretching me, circling wider and wider.

My fingers pressed into Trace’s shoulder, my nails digging in. He hummed against that bundle of nerves, driving everything in me higher, winding the invisible cord inside me tighter as the sound vibrations moved through me.

Trace’s fingers swirled and twisted, curving as they dragged down my walls. I shuddered against him, against the door. The juxtaposition of Trace’s heat and the cool wood was like fire and ice in all the best ways.

He teased that most sensitive part of me, his tongue flicking against my clit. My legs started to tremble, and I knew I was barely holding on. Trace’s tongue circled as his fingers parted, stretching me. “Let go,” he growled against my sensitive flesh .

Some part of me realized I was scared. To break. To come apart and let loose everything I’d been holding so tightly to. The last slivers that meant some semblance of control.

“Ellie,” Trace murmured against me, his hand moving to my hip, fingers digging in. “I’ve got you. Let go.”

His lips closed around my clit, tongue swirling as his fingers pumped in and out of me. Everything in me trembled, a war of control and freedom. My nails dug into Trace’s shoulder as his words echoed in my head. “I’ve got you. Let go.”

I chose the wild. I let go.

The orgasm hit me like a tsunami, so powerful it hurt to shatter. But the pain was so damn beautiful, and it only pushed the pleasure higher. Everything was more.

I squeezed my eyes closed as Trace rode out every wave with his fingers and tongue. Sparks of rainbow light danced in the darkness, little pieces of freedom.

My whole body shook, and when my leg nearly gave out, Trace simply held me there against the door, never letting me fall. Wave after wave, he didn’t let go. Until I finally had no more to give.

Trace leaned back on his heels, slowly pulling his fingers from me, and placed my foot back on the floor. But his other hand didn’t leave my hip as he made sure I was okay. Those dark green eyes found mine, and he didn’t look away as he licked his fingers clean.

My jaw went slack as I stared down at him. “Trace.”

“Heaven,” he whispered. And then he moved again, slowly putting my leggings back on, gentle hands moving across oversensitive flesh. But he didn’t stop there. He put on one shoe and then the other before gripping me by my hips.

“You deserve the world, Blaze. Don’t settle for anything less.”