Page 55 of Chasing Shelter (Sparrow Falls #5)

TRACE

I stared up at my house, every window dark—just like it always was on the nights I didn’t have Keely. But the darkness hit harder tonight. It reminded me of how everything had felt before Ellie. How it would feel again now.

But it was worth it. Anything to keep her safe. Because my life wouldn’t stop bleeding into hers.

Even if they found Jasper and added a couple of additional years to his sentence, he’d get out again. And if this latest stunt had taught me anything, it was that he would never stop. He was too focused on me.

Now, I couldn’t help but wonder again if he’d been the one sending Ellie the threatening photos and notes. If he’d been the one who broke into her house. The tech piece seemed a little above his pay grade, but who knew what he picked up in prison?

My phone dinged, and I plucked it out of the cupholder. There were countless notifications for texts and calls. The number that had come from Ellie had my gut souring, but I zeroed in on the newest message.

Dex

Still coming up empty on the software. Their servers are in Russia, and it’s nearly impossible to get access. But I did find the vehicle you asked about on surveillance footage. Route 66 Gas yesterday at a little after 8 p.m., but the guy paid in cash, so I don’t have an ID yet.

The photo filled the screen, and I fought back a curse.

Me

No need to get an ID. I know him.

Dex

Who is it?

Me

My father.

At least we had a second line of confirmation. Jasper had been in possession of the vehicle yesterday evening. He hadn’t reported it stolen today. He’d done this. Because he didn’t want me to have even an ounce of happiness and would do anything to take it away.

A numbness settled inside me, and I welcomed it. I’d need it in the days to come. I pulled it over me like a comforting blanket as I’d done countless times as a child when I needed to lock it all out.

Turning off my engine, I slid out of the SUV and headed for my front door. I unlocked it, and my alarm instantly started beeping. I quickly disarmed it and headed toward the kitchen, but before I reached it, a light in the living room flipped on.

My hand went for the holster on my belt—an instinctive reaction—but I cursed when I found it empty. Only, by then, I saw the familiar figure curled up in one of my overstuffed chairs.

I glowered at Ellie. “You know I carry a gun, right? I could’ve killed you.”

“I also know that you stow it in a locker in the back of your SUV because you don’t want guns in the house where your daughter sleeps.” Ellie slowly unfurled from the chair and stood.

The urge to throw up my hands to ward her off was so damn strong. As if that would somehow stop her. Because if anyone could fight that numbness, it was Ellie. And right now, what I needed was to not feel.

She walked toward me, her gaze never straying from my face .

“What are you doing here? You should be resting.”

“I should be where you are.” Her words weren’t angry or loud; they were rooted in a certainty I couldn’t share. Not knowing the truth.

“You shouldn’t be anywhere near me.” It was the only thing I could think to say. The only weapon I had to hold her at bay.

Ellie’s steps stilled, and her head tilted to one side as if that change in perspective would give her the clarity she needed. “Is that truly what you think?”

“Yes.” The answer came instantly. The total and complete truth.

A sadness swept through Ellie’s beautiful eyes. It made the pale green turn almost gray in the low light. “Well, I don’t agree.”

My back teeth gnashed in a vicious blow. “It’s not your choice.”

“Isn’t it?” she pressed, moving closer—too close.

That bergamot and rose scent swirled around me, nearly strangling me with the promise of her.

She came to a stop right in front of me, her fuzzy boots in some ridiculous color nearly toe-to-toe with my boring-colored ones. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“You should. You should fucking run. Because my family is nothing but the worst of the worst, and they ruin everything they touch.”

Ellie wasn’t cowed; she barely even blinked. “I was with your family tonight. They’re everything.”

“You know what I mean,” I ground out.

“No. I don’t. Because family is a hell of a lot more than genes and birth records. It’s about the people who show up for you time and time again. The people who make you who you are. And that will always be the Colsons.”

My breaths came quicker, ragged grasps at oxygen that never seemed to quite grab hold. “It doesn’t matter how much I want them to be mine. Doesn’t matter that I made Colson my last name. It’s his blood running through my veins.”

Ellie’s eyes flashed a bright green, her temper catching fire. “And you think I don’t share that battle? My father killed people. He ordered executions for power and sport. That’s what flows through my veins. ”

I shook my head, stalking around her. “It’s not the same.”

“Isn’t it?” she demanded.

Ellie was nothing but goodness and light. A force so many people had tried to dull over the years. But all had failed. She was so much stronger than all of them, just by her refusal to stop blooming.

“You don’t understand.” I turned to face her, needing her to see. “He’s in me.” I slammed a fist against my chest. “That temper. That rage. I fight it back all the time, but I can still feel it. The urge to let it all fly.”

Ellie wasn’t dissuaded. She only moved in closer, her delicate fingers wrapping around my fist and holding on.

“He doesn’t get to decide who you are. Only you get to do that.

You might have anger that lives inside you, but you aim it at injustice.

You might have a temper, but you never let it get the best of you.

You’ve taken every bit of pain and turned it into fuel.

The best father. The best brother. The best man.

I will never run from you because you’re everything I ever dreamed of. ”