Page 30 of Chasing Shelter (Sparrow Falls #5)

TRACE

I stared up at the station for a long moment. It wasn’t the first time I hadn’t wanted to go inside. There’d been more than once where I’d faced a case that cut. Important ones, but they hurt like hell to work.

This wasn’t that. This was me not wanting to face what going inside would bring up. The ugly stew of memories. No, more than memories. Demons.

Ellie’s face flashed in my mind. Her voice rang in my ears. Her offer to come with me wrapped around me.

It was such a simple thing—almost childlike in its simplicity—extending a hand so I wouldn’t be alone.

But I was used to being alone. I was basically alone until I was twelve.

When I went to the Colsons’, I’d been anything but with all the people filling the space.

Yet I’d kept to myself. Dealt with my traumas and fears alone.

Even after I married Leah, we hadn’t truly let each other in.

So, when that ended, it had almost been a relief to be alone again, caring for my daughter on my own.

But there was something about Ellie. She made me wonder what it would feel like to have someone—not someone to complete me, but someone to lean on, someone who would be there when I needed it, not to fix things but to be in them with me.

I switched off the engine and stared at the building for a moment longer. I kept the image of Ellie in my mind and clung to the memory of bergamot and rose as I opened the door and slid out of my SUV. I hadn’t bothered with my uniform, badge, or gun. They weren’t needed for what lay ahead.

Opening the door, I stepped inside. A deputy who’d only been with us a handful of months greeted me, an uneasy smile on his face. “Sheriff.”

He knew. He knew the man in one of those cells was my father. No…my DNA donor.

“Martin,” I greeted, not giving any sign that the situation had gotten to me. I was good at that.

Without another word, I headed for the bullpen. It wasn’t as full as it usually was on weekdays. Sunday evenings were usually slow all around. Not typically party nights but rather a day for tourist turnover. We got the occasional accident or drunk-driving arrest, but that was about it.

The handful of voices quieted as I entered the room. Damn, that felt like a gut punch. I didn’t give any sign of how it affected me. Instead, I moved straight to Gabriel’s office. He saw me through the open door and motioned me in, even though he had a phone pressed to his ear.

Stepping inside, I shut the door and lowered myself to one of the chairs opposite his desk. It gave the bullpen my back, and that was a good thing. I wouldn’t have to watch every microexpression my face made.

“Thanks, Jim. Yeah, I’ll make sure he reports in tomorrow,” Gabriel said. “Have a good night.”

Gabriel lowered the phone to the receiver and swiped his gaze over me. It was a quick assessment, likely trying to see if I had it together. “That was Jasper’s PO. Not sure why, but Jasper’s allowed alcohol. An oversight, given his past possession charges. ”

“What about a public intoxication charge?” I asked. Any charge could potentially send him back to complete his sentence.

Gabriel scrubbed a hand over his tan face. “Technically, he was on his property. He rents a cabin out at The Pines. He was sitting in a lawn chair in front of it.”

“Conveniently next to a party you busted.”

“That’d be the one. And there’s more.”

I braced because, with the man who’d once been my father, I could be in for anything.

“The man who rents the trailer next door? The one with the party? That’s Rainer Cruz.”

I tried to hold back my reaction, but it wasn’t easy to do.

I knew Rainer—had known him all my life.

He was the kind of mean that had to be part of his DNA because I didn’t think it could be learned.

There was a viciousness to him that always led Jasper to bad places.

They’d been a part of the same drug ring back in the day.

“You know him,” Gabriel assessed.

“Yeah. One of Jasper’s nearest and dearest.”

“Looked him up. Looks like he was living over in Roxbury until about a month ago. Arrested a couple of times by their PD, but nothing ever seems to stick to this guy,” Gabriel went on.

“What’d you find at the party?” I asked.

“Meth, crack, and a little acid. Conveniently, not on Rainer or your dad.”

“Jasper,” I clipped.

“Sorry. Not on Jasper.” Gabriel’s face twisted. “But one of the dogs found a stash site in the woods behind the two trailers.”

“Tell me you’re dusting it for prints,” I growled.

“Already sent it to the lab and told the techs I’d treat them to a steak dinner if they can get it on the top of the pile.”

I eased back in the chair. “You’re a good friend.”

Gabriel grinned at me, but it was half-hearted. “You’re a lucky fucker to have me in your corner.”

“Sometimes,” I muttered .

That startled a laugh out of him. “Fair.” Gabriel was quiet for a moment. “You want to see him?”

That was the million-dollar question, wasn’t it? I couldn’t decide what the better move would be. I mulled each over, playing out both sides of the coin in my mind. Finally, I stood. “I want to see him.”

Jasper didn’t get to think he’d made me cower. The man had lost his power over me a long time ago.

“I’m with you,” Gabriel said, pushing his chair back.

There was no room for argument in his statement, and I knew the reasoning behind it was three-fold. He was backup should things go sideways. It meant dotting our i’s and crossing our t’s for procedure. And he cared about me.

I gave him a chin lift of acceptance, and we moved out into the bullpen—right into Will shooting his mouth off.

“Give me a fucking break. His dad was doing twenty-eight for manslaughter and murder , and he somehow got elected sheriff? I think it’s time someone ran against his white-trash ass.”

It wasn’t the first time I’d heard the term tossed my way. Probably wouldn’t be the last. But it always landed a little closer to home than I wanted.

The entire room went silent as Will’s gaze cut to me. The smart move would’ve been to cower. He didn’t. He stared me down as if challenging me to throw a punch.

“You got a problem with my leadership, talk to the mayor. In the meantime, you will not mess with my station. Clearly, being at a desk is too much temptation for you to run your mouth. So, let’s take that desk away from you.

Patrol for the rest of the month. I see your ass anywhere close to that chair, you’re suspended. ”

A few officers snickered. Two of them high fived.

Redness crept up Will’s neck. “You can’t do that.”

“Check with the mayor,” Gabriel said helpfully. “Because I cosign that assignment.”

“I’d like to toss in prisoner trash pickup next weekend,” Sergeant Yearwood said as she walked out of the copy room. “My old bones are so over your shit. ”

Laney Yearwood had been with the department since she was eighteen. Now, at sixty-three, she was ready for retirement, and her tolerance for assholes was practically nil.

I shot her a grin. “Now, that’s a mighty fine suggestion, Sergeant Yearwood.”

She flipped me off. “You call me Sergeant Yearwood again, we’re gonna have problems.”

I chuckled. “Noted.” All amusement left my expression as I turned to Will. “Why is your ass still in that chair, Deputy? Do I need to relieve you of duty, or can you handle a simple patrol?”

Will’s teeth gnashed as he stood and stalked out of the station. Applause erupted as he did. God, I loved my team. At least ninety-five percent of them.

Beth moved into the bullpen from reception. “What’d I miss? Will looks pissed as hell, so I know it was good.”

I shook my head and moved toward the back hall and the holding cells we had there. I knew the rest of the crew would fill her in. Gabriel followed behind me, sticking close as we turned into the room that housed the two cells.

They didn’t get a whole lot of use. Mostly for drunk and disorderlies, or waiting for suspect pickup on larger cases. We didn’t keep people here longer than overnight. They’d get transferred to county.

As I stepped into the room, it felt smaller than normal, the air thick and reeking of sweat and alcohol. A pair of bloodshot eyes lifted to glare at me. “Can’t keep me here,” Jasper spat.

“I don’t have anything to do with this. Conflict of interest and all that.”

Jasper stood, wobbling before he struggled toward the bars. “You got your pigs on me,” he slurred. “Trumped-up charges.”

“Sir,” Gabriel began, all false politeness, “you appeared inebriated to multiple officers on the scene. When we ran your ID, we saw you were on parole. It’s within our rights to require a drug test because of that. We’re just waiting for those results to come back. I’m sure you understand.”

Jasper spat through the bars, narrowly missing Gabriel’s shoe. “ I understand that my bastard brat put you up to this. Gonna sue all your asses.”

“Good luck with that,” I muttered.

“You,” Jasper sneered. “You think you’re so much better than me. But I’m in your blood. Your veins. You’ll never get me out.”

A coldness swept through me. One so brutal it sliced like a blade. Because despite Jasper’s blustering, he spoke the truth.

A twisted smile spread across his face. “You have no idea what’s coming for you. But it’s gonna be fun as hell watching you lose everything.”