Page 54 of Chasing Shelter (Sparrow Falls #5)

ELLIE

The entire Colson crew that was present, was trying to keep things light. They talked about my new diamond art proudly displayed on the mantel. The shenanigans Luca and Keely had been up to at Cope’s house this afternoon. Anything but accidents and threats and break-ins.

But my gaze was locked on the hallway Trace had disappeared down as if I could see through the wall and into the kitchen. He wasn’t gone long; I could tell that by the clock that rested on the far end of the mantel. But it felt like an eternity.

The moment I caught the sound of footsteps through the din of conversation, I braced and sat up straighter.

My gaze locked on Trace’s face as he came into view.

And found nothing there. No lines of tension or ease of relief.

The only thing I saw was the absence of…

everything. As if Trace had wiped it clean away.

“What is it?” I asked.

Trace shoved his phone into his pocket. “I need to go in. Gabriel thinks he found the vehicle. Wants me to identify it for sure.”

“Trace, no,” Nora argued. “You need to rest. ”

“I’m fine, Mom. I’ve got to go.”

I stared hard at him. That all made sense. Finding the vehicle. Needing Trace’s confirmation. It was just…something was off.

I stood despite the cries from my abused muscles and bones and moved toward Trace. Most people would’ve missed it, but I didn’t, the slight tensing at my approach. That tiny flicker of movement had my brow furrowing and pain erupting at the reminder of the gash there.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, my voice dipping low.

Trace stared down at me but made no move to touch me like he normally would. No caress of my face. No fingers tangling in my hair. No grabbing my hand.

“They need me. I have to get going,” he said quietly, still making no move for connection.

“Okay, but?—”

Trace leaned in and pressed the gentlest of kisses to the temple farthest from my injury, and then he was gone. My skin tingled at the absence of his mouth, and my eyes stung. Because it felt like a goodbye.

A soft hand landed on my shoulder. “You should sit down. You need to take it easy,” Nora said, guiding me back to the couch.

I glanced over my shoulder, hearing an engine start outside and knowing it was Trace.

Nora helped me sit and patted my hand. “I brought my heating pad. It does wonders for sore muscles. Want me to break that out while you eat?”

My eyes stung again, but for a different reason.

I’d never had this, not really. The sort of caretaking that was so hands-on.

I had a couple of memories of my mom sitting with me and reading me a story when I was under the weather, but she never made me soup or broke out a heating pad.

That was something she would’ve had our housekeeper or cook do.

The simple kindness of Nora’s offer had an ache flaring to life in my chest. Missing my mom and longing for the parent she’d never been able to be, even if she’d wanted to.

“Oh, Ellie.” Nora moved in instantly, seeing the unshed tears in my eyes. She wrapped a gentle arm around me as the room went quiet. “It’s been a day. Just let it out if you need to. We all get it.”

“I just—” A hiccupped cry left my lips. “I’ve never had this.” My gaze moved to Linc. “We never had this.”

He moved then, coming to sit on my other side and taking my hand. “But we have it now.”

I smiled at him through blurry vision. “We do.”

The front door opened and closed, footsteps sounding.

“What’s with the teary eyes?” Lolli demanded, somehow managing to look both worried and affronted.

“Are you hurting? Don’t worry, I brought my new tea.

It’s a pot and poppy blend that will knock you out until next week.

My taste-tester did tell me she saw pink bunnies for a few days, but you don’t mind that, do you? ”

Everyone stared at her for a long moment and then burst out laughing. It was exactly what I needed.

Hours had passed with no word from Trace. I’d texted three times and called twice. No response, other than his voicemail message. Every moment that passed had my stomach twisting tighter.

The front door opened, and I instantly leaned forward, praying it was Trace. Instead, Fallon appeared, looking exhausted and more than a little beaten down. I watched as she tried to pull on a happier face as she entered the living room. “Ellie, how are you feeling? I’m so sorry.”

“I’m a lot better now.” It wasn’t a total lie. The pounding in my head had eased, and while I was achy in different parts of my body, it wasn’t awful.

“Good. That’s good.” Fallon let out a breath.

Kye moved into her space, a small scowl on his lips as he took the bag from her shoulder. “Something’s wrong.”

“Something’s always wrong,” Fallon muttered. “Nature of the job. ”

That scowl deepened. “Did anyone give you a hard time? I can?—”

“No. Just a hard day,” Fallon said, lowering her voice. “It happens.”

A muscle in Kye’s jaw twitched as his grip on her bag tightened. “Come on. We saved you some dinner.”

As he guided her into the kitchen, I leaned back on the couch cushions and grabbed my phone. The screen was still glaringly blank.

“Still nothing?” Arden asked softly.

I shook my head. “I’m starting to get worried.”

“When Trace is on a case, he can have blinders on. Nothing but the task in front of him.”

I knew Arden was trying to reassure me, but doubt and worry still niggled at me.

The door opened again. I braced, but this time, Anson appeared, with Kye and Fallon—and a plate piled high with food—on his heels.

“Is Trace with you?” I asked instantly.

Anson’s jaw flexed before he spoke. “Still at the station. They’re trying to find his dad.”

“His dad?” I parroted.

“Jasper’s prints were in the vehicle. He’s the one who tried to hit you.”

I pulled the blanket tighter around my shoulders as I sat on the back deck steps, Bumper nosing at my hand. It was past her bedtime, but I couldn’t find it in me to put her away in her little shed home quite yet.

“They say animals know when you need comfort,” I mumbled. “You’re pretty good at that.”

Bumper laid her head on my knee and let out a rumbling sigh. I scratched her head as a thank-you.

The door opened and closed behind me, but I didn’t look up. Maybe if I didn’t, whoever it was would go away. I didn’t want words of comfort or platitudes that fell flat. I was too worried about Trace, and too hurt that he’d shut me out.

Heavy footsteps sounded across the deck. Definitely a man. Since that was the case, my best guess was Linc. So, I was surprised when I saw scarred motorcycle boots hit the steps.

“Heard you had a goat back here,” Kye said as he sat next to me. He held out a hand for my animal friend to sniff.

“This is Bumper. Keely named her.” Even saying that hurt, a reminder of a simpler time.

The goat bumped Kye’s hand, and he chuckled. “Appropriate name.”

I gripped the blanket and stared out into the dark as Kye stroked Bumper’s head. Neither of us said anything for a while, but finally, Kye started to speak.

“He’s going to try to push you away. Don’t let him.”

I glanced over at Kye, but he didn’t meet my gaze, just kept petting Bumper.

“Trace and I…we have a different sort of bond than the rest of them.”

I frowned. “You all seem pretty close to me.” The Colsons shared the kind of bonds that showed what family should be. The kindness and care. The loyalty.

“We are,” Kye said. “But that’s not what I mean. All of us who came in through foster care have baggage. But mine and Trace’s…it’s darker.”

A hollow feeling took root inside me. “He’s told me some.” But I didn’t know what Kye’s story was or what sorts of scars he bore. The way he said darker told me it was bad.

“That’s good. Good that he’s started to share. But I guarantee you it’s worse than what he’s told you. His old man was a piece of work. Never should’ve seen the outside of a jail cell or coffin.”

That hollow feeling inside me intensified, anguish twisting at everything Trace could’ve endured at such a young age.

“But it’s worse because Jasper got in Trace’s head. It’s why everything’s law and order, playing by the rules, and drill-sergeant tidiness. Everything his childhood wasn’t. The opposite of what his dad is.”

“He’s nothing like his dad,” I spat.

Kye turned then, and I saw pain swirling in his amber eyes.

“I know that. You know that. But Trace? I don’t think he’s so sure.

And the fact that his father tried to hurt you?

It’s going to fuck with his head. He’ll think he can’t have this—the good he has with you.

So, he’s gonna push you away. Might even try to blow it up so there’s no turning back. ”

Kye let out a shuddered breath. “Don’t let him.” Those amber eyes glistened. “Trace is the best man I’ve ever known. He deserves you. Deserves everything good in this world. Don’t let him throw it all away because he thinks he doesn’t.”

My heart broke then. For Trace. For Kye. For all they’d lived through at such young ages. “I won’t,” I whispered.

“He’ll fight you on it.”

One corner of my mouth kicked up. “Good thing I’ve been getting some ass-kicking lessons.”

Kye let out a low chuckle. “Good thing.”

I laid my hand over his tattooed one, squeezing for a brief second before releasing it. “You know, you deserve that goodness, too.”

Kye’s gaze shifted, just the barest flick toward the house before returning to the night in front of us. “My head’s too fucked up for good.”

My lips pursed. “Never heard anything so far from the truth.”

Kye grunted and scratched between Bumper’s ears. “Go get your man. I’ll get Bump in the shed for the night.”

I let him have the play for now because Trace needed me. But Kye needed someone, too.