Page 21 of Chasing Shelter (Sparrow Falls #5)

TRACE

I stayed for too long, watching Ellie get inside with the dog and her bags.

Some people would think I was an asshole for not helping her.

Hell, I thought I was. But I knew if I let myself get behind a closed door with her after everything we’d just shared, I wouldn’t be able to hold myself back from her any longer.

I gripped the wheel, my fingers so tight the material covering it squeaked in protest. I had to walk away. For many reasons.

I threw my SUV in reverse and backed out of the driveway. I scanned the street, looking for any sign of Jasper. There was nothing. No cruel glare or man with a cigarette dangling from his lips. No scar slicing beneath an eye as he scowled.

I hit the phone button on my steering wheel. “Call Gabriel.”

He answered on the second ring. “Everything okay?”

“He’s following me.”

Gabriel cursed. “There anything I need to know about?”

“Are you wondering if you need to help me bury a body?”

“Don’t say that shit on a recordable phone line.”

My lips twitched. “Love your conspiracy theories. ”

“They’re always listening,” Gabriel shot back.

“You realize we are the they in that statement, right?”

“Just tell me what happened.”

I adjusted my grip on the wheel as I made the turn onto Cascade Avenue, my gaze still searching for any sign of the man who’d once been my father. I was attuned now, components of my alert system flooding back, even after twenty-some years of disuse.

“I went to the feed store with Ellie?—”

“Wait, you went to the feed store with Ellie? The one you hate going to because Keely’s always dragging you in there and begging for a bunny or a ferret?”

I shifted in my seat as if that would ease my discomfort. “Ellie found a dog. It wasn’t in the best shape, so she decided to take it in.”

Gabriel chuckled over the line. “Of course, she did.”

I ignored the fact that my best friend was clearly getting to know my neighbor. “Jasper wasn’t there when we went in, but he sure as hell was when we got out.”

“He approach?”

I shook my head as if Gabriel could see me. “No. Just stared.”

“Wants you to know he’s watching.”

But it wasn’t just that. “He wants me to know that he can get to me. Me and the people in my life.”

“The people closest to you.”

“Ellie isn’t that, Gabriel.”

“You sure about that? You two seem thick as thieves lately.”

“She’s my neighbor, and she’s going through some stuff.”

Gabriel was quiet for a moment before he spoke. “Maybe you both could use each other. Ever think of that?”

“Could you stop playing matchmaker for five seconds and focus on the issue at hand?”

“Sorry. You want to apply for an order of protection?”

I mulled that over. “Not sure that’s the play.”

More silence came from Gabriel’s end for a beat. “It tells Jasper that what he’s doing is working. Might be smarter to ignore him. ”

“There’s always the chance he’ll escalate if he doesn’t get the reaction he wants.”

“He escalates, and he’s back inside, finishing out that term,” Gabriel reminded me.

That much was true, but it also meant putting Keely and Ellie at risk. That didn’t sit well with me. “We put Lavender Lane, The Mix Up, Leah’s house, and the school on the regular drive-by list. Forty-five-minute intervals max.”

“That’s no problem. Especially since you and Miss Ellie are neighbors .”

“Gabriel,” I warned.

“What?” he asked with faux innocence. “Maybe she needs to come over and borrow a cup of sugar. Or her power’s out, and she needs someplace to stay.”

“Jesus,” I muttered. “Pretty sure you should be writing Hallmark movies.”

“Maybe I am on the side. It’s good to have hobbies.”

One corner of my mouth kicked up. “I support your dreams.”

Gabriel chuckled. “Such a good friend.”

I turned onto a street on the opposite side of town. “I gotta jump. Picking up Keels.”

“Tell that girl to give you hell.”

“I’d rather not teach my six-year-old a curse word, but thanks.”

Gabriel laughed. “I’m pretty sure Lolli has taught her far worse.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“Call if you need anything.”

“Thanks, man. Appreciate you,” I said.

“Always got your back.”

“Same goes.” And with that, I hung up.

I was more than lucky to have the people I did in my life. The universe might’ve put me into a rough situation starting out, but with the family I’d built, one of choice , I’d more than made up for it. Gratitude washed through me as I thought about everyone who surrounded me and the support I had.

And then Ellie’s face flashed in my mind.

I wanted her to have that, too. Because, right now, as bright and cheery as she was, I sensed a loneliness in her.

But she’d taken the first step. She was here in Sparrow Falls and building a new life.

One I knew I wanted to be a part of even though I should’ve been keeping my distance.

I made the final turn into Leah’s neighborhood.

The place she’d chosen to live after the divorce was as different from my house as you could get.

The new development was full of modern builds set close together.

The yards were minuscule, and the design made me think of a geometry problem.

It was just one more piece of evidence that Leah and I had never fit.

Pulling into her driveway, I sat for a minute, tugging my mask back on, making sure every defense was in place. It wasn’t even Leah’s fault that I needed to do it. It was that she reminded me of all the ways I’d failed.

Taking a deep breath, I slid out of the SUV and headed for her front door.

It opened before I reached the front stoop.

Leah wasn’t glaring exactly, but her mouth was pressed into a firm line.

It accentuated her blond hair cut in an angled bob just below her chin.

She was still in what I thought of as her work uniform : tan slacks, a white blouse, and a brown belt.

It was some version of this every day unless she had a presentation, then it was a suit.

“You’re late,” she clipped.

“I’m sorry.” It was always best to start there when I’d fucked up. “I told you what was going on.”

When I called Leah to tell her about Jasper, I’d asked if she could take Keely for a few hours after school so I could make some inquiries. Since she could work from home, it shouldn’t have been a huge deal. Clearly, Leah hadn’t been pleased.

Her brows pulled together in confusion. “What are you wearing ?”

I’d completely forgotten about the atrocious pink Hawaiian shirt. How that was possible when I glowed neon was beyond me. No, I did know how it was possible. Ellie.

She’d distracted me in every way imaginable. With her kindness. Her raw honesty. By giving me hell.

“Trace?” Leah’s voice cut into my spiraling thoughts .

“Sorry. I, uh, had an incident.”

She arched a brow. “And you went to a bad tourist shop in Hawaii to remedy it?”

I shrugged. “Desperate times called for desperate measures.”

“Daddy!” Keely yelled, running for me.

There was no greater feeling than when she launched herself at me—complete faith that I would catch her. And I always would.

This time, I caught her with an oomph and hauled her into my arms. “Did you grow today?”

She giggled. “No.” Then she pulled back slightly. “I looooove your shirt. Pink and puppies!”

I chuckled. “I’m glad you approve.”

“Keely,” Leah said, her voice holding the slightest hint of tightness. “Can you grab your backpack and take it to the SUV? Your dad and I need to talk for a minute.”

A wariness settled into Keely’s eyes as she looked back and forth between us, and I wanted to scream at Leah. I gave Keely a pat as I set her down. “Everything’s fine. We’re just talking schedule stuff.”

Keely’s head dipped as she moved to grab her backpack from just inside the door. “Okay,” she said, but the single word was quiet and sounded defeated.

As she headed for the SUV, I pinned Leah with a hard stare. “Don’t pull that in front of her. It makes her worry.”

Leah bristled. “Because I asked her to give us a moment? That’s learning manners. Sometimes, adults need to talk privately.”

“Yeah, sometimes they do. But how you say it can make a kid who’s been through a lot of upheaval worry. So have a mind to that.”

Leah’s mouth thinned into the hard line I’d memorized over the years. “She doesn’t need to be coddled.”

“She’s six .”

“Which is why I asked her to wait in the car,” Leah snapped.

This was getting us nowhere. “What did you need to talk about?”

Leah clasped her hands in front of her, her knuckles bleaching white. “I know the occasional emergency will pop up, but I need you to keep my schedule in mind. I’ve got a lot going on at work right now, and I can’t leave at the drop of a hat every other day.”

“It was one day.”

She pinned me with a stare. “What about last week?”

I’d busted a meth-cooking facility, and the arrests and paperwork had been a nightmare. “Fine. I can have my mom fill in when needed.”

“Nora shouldn’t be your solution,” Leah ground out. “Maybe I should have primary custody. If I knew I’d have Keely for the whole school week, I could plan accordingly.”

My entire body hardened to granite. “You are not taking more time with my daughter away from me. You try, and you’ll have the fight of your life on your hands.”

“Trace—”

“I know I’m far from perfect. But I love that girl with everything I have.

Not having her with me half the time is like walking around with half my heart missing.

I’m not losing any more.” I had thought we’d done well with our parenting arrangement.

It wasn’t typical with Leah taking Keely to all the lessons she was so passionate about our daughter being involved in and me picking her up for horseback riding outings with Arden, despite who had custody that day.

But it had seemed to work for us. At least, I’d thought it had.

Leah’s hazel eyes widened as I started talking, her complexion paling. “Okay.”

“Good.” It was all I could say when I wanted to rip into her. But more, I wanted to tear into myself. For messing things up so royally. For not being what Leah needed to stay. For losing my daughter.

I turned and stalked toward the SUV, trying to rein in the ugly stew so Keely wouldn’t see it. Swallowing all that ugliness cost me something. But I’d pay it over and over again for my daughter.