Page 9 of Breaking Through the Doubt (Espen Jetties #4)

9

LESLIE

Were we really doing this? Making small talk? It was awkward as hell. I had no one to blame but myself. I was the one who brought up being friends. Now it was one of the worst dates ever. I had to fix it but didn’t know how.

My track record wasn’t great. I had a relationship forever ago. What I did excel at I didn’t want to do with Corey. Fucking was one thing. Building something more was completely different. And I wanted it so much, but with the right person. Finding it with just anyone wasn’t the way to go.

There was something about Corey though. Something that kept drawing me back and had me behaving like I didn’t know what it meant to go on a date.

“I’m not usually like this,” I said and lifted my gaze from my now empty plate.

“Like what?”

“Weird. I mean, I am weird sometimes, like before a game. I have pregame rituals and I’m superstitious, but that doesn’t have anything to do with this.” Here I was, rambling again. I had to resist reaching for the key in my pocket. It would look too weird if I started feeling around in there. I didn’t want to chase him away. Although, at this point, even without the whole pocket thing, I probably had a good chance of doing that.

“I don’t think you’re weird.”

“This isn’t me. It’s because I’m here but I’m not the type who gets flustered or doesn’t know what to say. Yet with you, I turn into a fool.”

A smile tipped his lips. God, it was the hottest thing. I wanted to lean in and taste him, to see if I could savor the bit of heat from his sandwich or the lime wedge that was in the glass of water he drank when he was done with his beer.

I groaned. “I didn’t tell you the complete truth when I asked you out.”

“No?”

Leaning forward, I wanted Corey to hear me, not everyone in the restaurant. There were too many people who kept looking my way, like I was the only professional athlete who liked to kick back and hang out at local places. We weren’t all fancy restaurant, high-end people. I certainly wasn’t. There was something to be said for a great meal. I didn’t care where it was.

“I don’t want to be just friends,” I said softly. “I panicked and it came out. You saw me , not the other part of me everyone else gets. I’m not used to men wanting me for more than a quick fuck. I’m not saying you do, it’s just… This isn’t easy for me.”

“This is a date then?”

I nodded. “I’d like it to be, but I’m screwing it up. It wasn’t my plan to have the world’s most awkward evening with you.”

He chuckled. “It’s fine. I wasn’t sure where we stood but wanted to hang out with you.”

“Do you want to see me as more than a friend? I don’t want to pressure you. I’d just like to know if the feeling is mutual, and you want to date me or if you want to be friends. You don’t have to worry about hurting my feelings.”

“Leslie,” he said, leaning forward as well. His hand moved over the table like he was about to take mine but resisted. “I’m glad it’s a date. I agree that we could have done better. That’s on both of us, not just you.”

I blew out a breath and leaned back, feeling like a weight had been removed from my chest. “What do you say we pay and go talk outside? There are too many eyes on us in here.”

“Sure.”

We ended up splitting the check. Either of us would have covered the whole thing, but this way it kept us on even ground. Corey wasn’t using me for my money, and I wasn’t with him to see how quickly we could get into bed.

The air was cool as we walked to our vehicles. Being later on a Sunday night, the restaurant was more subdued than normal. Most people liked to have fun on Fridays and Saturdays. This worked tonight because Corey didn’t have to be in his shop, and I didn’t have a game.

Our arms brushed as we walked to where my car was parked. He was only a few inches shorter than me. I leaned against the car, my body facing his. Where I’d parked there wasn’t a light shining down on us. It wasn’t completely private, but we weren’t out in the open either. Another great thing about going out tonight, I didn’t see one reporter or anyone trying to get our picture, outside of fans. Granted, one could be hiding here, and I wasn’t aware. That was always a risk I took anytime I left home.

Reaching over, I linked my pinky on his finger and gave him a slight tug to pull him closer, so we were facing each other. “If I’d picked you up, I could have walked you to your door.”

“Or I could have with you.”

I hummed. “Yeah, but then you’d have to drive all the way out to where I live, and we’d have to hike it back to Espen.”

“Where do you live?”

“Almost an hour away with no traffic. I like the quiet and to be able to escape the city.”

“I like the city, but it’s nice to get away from it too.”

“Maybe I’ll invite you out sometime.”

“I’d like that.” Corey leaned closer and put his hand on my hip. “Leslie?”

“Yeah?”

“I like this side of you.”

I fought not to blush. Lifting my hand, I brushed my fingers lightly over the slight stubble on his cheek. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

It was a slow descent to him as my lips met his and both his hands were on my hips. Mine went from his cheek to his neck while the other found his waist. It wasn’t just a kiss though. The moment my lips parted, and our tongues touched, it was like all the air punched from my lungs.

I’d heard others talk about kissing and touching and being in love. After only experiencing it once and failing, I wondered if I’d ever feel something like this again. No, it wasn’t love with Corey. It was lust and I knew that. He stirred something in me. Something I recognized when I first met him. I had to be careful and not let my heart get involved yet. There was most of the season left and my head had to be in the game. Seeing him again, building on to what we established, was still on the table.

We kissed and kissed some more until we had to part to breathe in much-needed air. Corey’s hair ruffled on the evening breeze and, not for the first time, I thought how beautiful he was.

My phone ringing in my pocket had my eyes closing and a groan working from me.

“Expecting a call?” he asked.

“No, but I know that ringtone. It’s one of my sisters.”

“You’re close with them.” It wasn’t a question. He knew I was or else I wouldn’t have tattooed their names on my back.

“I haven’t told them about the tattoo yet, but King posted a picture on his account with my bare back in it, and it got a lot of comments. I need to get a better shot and tag you, so you get credit.”

“So, she’s calling to yell at you?”

“Probably.”

He chuckled. “At least you don’t hate each other.”

The phone went quiet. I’d call her on the ride home. There was plenty of time to waste while I drove. “Can I see you again?”

“I’d like that.”

“I’m going on the road. It won’t be easy dating me. Between the media and the travel, it’s a lot.”

“Don’t worry about that. I have a business to run. Trust me when I say, I have plenty of my own shit to keep me busy.”

“Yeah, sorry.” There I was making it about me when Corey had his life to live.

“Don’t be. We’ll figure it out. Text me tonight when you get home or tomorrow and we’ll see when our schedules line up. No worries, Les.”

A smile formed on my lips. “I like that. My family calls me Les, but the guys on the team call me Knox.”

“I can call you Knox.”

“No, don’t. That’s for them. You’re not part of that side of my life and I like it. Not all hockey all the time. There’s more to me than that.”

“I’m sure there is. I’ll enjoy getting to know you.”

I swallowed. “I want to get to know you too.”

“Can we talk while you’re traveling or are you busy the entire time?”

“I have some late nights which could work, since I doubt you go to bed early.”

He laughed. “No, I don’t. We’ll see each other again soon.”

I leaned forward to kiss him, not knowing when I’d get to see him next. The season was hectic. He had his own stuff to do. If we were meant to be together, we would be.

We pulled apart slowly and said goodnight. I didn’t get into my car until he was in his. As soon as I was on the road, I listened to the voicemail Kara left me, where she yelled about how I got a tattoo and didn’t tell her.

I hit the button to call her back. The phone didn’t even get a full ring in before she picked up. “I can’t believe you!”

“Easy. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing and I’ve been busy.”

“Too busy to call me?”

“Kar, I’m working a lot.”

She huffed out a breath. It wasn’t like she didn’t have stuff going on. She was in college with a mountain of work so she could move on to law school.

“I’m sorry,” I told her. “I should have called.”

“Yes, you should have. Mom and Dad know. Expect hugs and tears next time you see them. The only reason they haven’t called you yet is because they don’t want to throw your game off, or whatever.”

“I’ll call them tomorrow.”

“Good, because now I can get a tattoo and don’t have to feel their wrath.”

I snorted a laugh. “If you think Mom won’t have something to say about you getting a tattoo, you’re wrong.”

“I’ll just hide mine.”

“Sure. Let me know how that works out for you.” Kara wasn’t the best liar.

She got quiet for a second then whispered, “You got my name, Les.”

Emotion suddenly built in my throat. I’d do anything for my family, absolutely whatever they needed. I paid for Kara’s school. I paid for Tenley’s too. My parents’ home was paid off. They’d never asked for a dime, but I always gave to them. After all they did for me growing up, it was the least I could have done. “Do you know what I thought about when I was deciding what tattoo I wanted?”

“No.”

“That all of you always have my back, no matter what. Just like I have yours.”

“Ditto, big brother.”

“Get some sleep, Kar. It’s late.”

“I’m still getting a tattoo. Nothing nearly as sweet as yours.”

“We can’t all be the perfect child.”

She laughed. “Oh, whatever. Kick ass in your games.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Night.”

“Night, Kar.”

I disconnected the call and kept driving out of the city toward my home.

The night started out weird, but it was better once I opened my mouth and told Corey what my issue was. We ended on a much better note than we started with. It was only the beginning. We’d talk and see each other again, so I didn’t have to think of lame excuses to go into his shop.