Page 31 of Breaking Through the Doubt (Espen Jetties #4)

31

LESLIE

It was my second to last night home for a long stretch. I wanted to spend tonight in Corey’s arms. Leaving was the worst part. I used to love it, loved to travel. That got old a long time ago, but it wasn’t bad because I had my teammates, my friends, with me. Now, well, I still had them but going with them meant leaving Corey and that was the worst fucking feeling, especially after everything that happened with his mother.

Corey was sprawled out on the bed, blissfully naked, half on me. His finger drew circles over my stomach.

“Corey?”

“Hmm?”

“Can we talk about what happens after I retire? I have a meeting with Kasper tomorrow and will tell the guys too. I don’t need a solid plan in place. Just… I want to know—”

“Where we stand?”

“Yeah.”

“What does your ideal future look like? And don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. You can factor me into it, but I want your vision.”

Swallowing, I closed my eyes and let everything fall away. The bed we were on, Corey on top of me in all his glory. I focused on my dreams. What I pictured when I couldn’t fall asleep when I was on the road.

“I’d like to keep my house here and my condo in Pittsburgh. This way if I visit family, I don’t have to stay with them. I want to work for the Jetties, but I’m not sure in what role. Something that doesn’t require me to travel with the team. Kasper might not have anything for me. If he doesn’t, maybe I could train players in the off-season. Kenna’s best friend does that. He was a player for a long time. Now he focuses his summers on helping Kenna.”

“Okay, what else?”

“I want to spend every night in my own bed and…”

“And?”

“I want you there. In bed with me. I want to fall asleep with my arms around you and wake with you beside me. On our days off, we could maybe fix up the backyard when it’s nice out. It’s pretty sparse out there. Maybe we could put in a pool. I have a lot of money set aside. We could travel too. Go anywhere in the world.”

“Keep going.”

I paused, knowing this next part was too far.

“Leslie, say it. This is your dream. I won’t judge you for it.”

“I want to get married. To stand before my family and friends and pledge my love to another. I want to spend my life with love wrapped around me.” I didn’t say him, because again, it was pushing it. We’d only just said we loved each other. I decided to switch back to Corey and me. “We could go out on King’s boat or have dinners at their house. We could invite the guys over to my house and the people you work with. Big backyard barbecues. I can picture people laughing and enjoying themselves.”

“You want to be happy and have everyone around you feel the same.”

“I do. Is that weird?”

“No, it shows how much you care about others. I love that about you.”

“In a perfect world, we would all be together and doing well, loving life.”

He propped his chin on my chest. “It’s a good dream, but what if we could make it a reality?”

My eyes opened to find Corey’s latched on to them. “What are you saying?”

“I’m not making promises, but this dream of yours, I want to be part of it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Leslie. Really.” He pushed up so he was hovering over me, his lips a breath from mine. “You made me crave it like I crave you. I’m here, with you, for whatever ride you want to go on.”

“I know we can’t move far. I wouldn’t ask that of you. You have your shop and it’s doing amazing. Would you want to move in with me?”

His lips kicked up on one side. “Are you asking me or is this part of your dream?”

“Both?”

He chuckled. “It’s not an ideal commute, but I also don’t drive there and home during normal rush hour.”

“What if we bought a small condo in the city for days when the weather is bad or you’re too tired to drive out?”

“We could do that. You know, there’s an apartment over my shop. It’s currently empty.”

“Why don’t you stay there now?” I asked.

“I already had my place when I opened the shop, so I rented it out for extra income.”

“Smart.”

“Even smarter now since it plays right into your plan.”

“ Our plan. Make any changes you want as long as it includes you.”

He pressed a kiss to my lips. “To our future.”

I lightly gripped the back of his neck, not wanting him to move, so I could whisper, “To us,” against his neck.

* * *

“Leslie, take a seat,” Kasper greeted as I entered his office.

I sat in a chair on the opposite side of his desk. “Thank you for seeing me.”

“I’m always here for you and the team. What’s going on?”

“I’d like to retire at the end of the season. My contract is up. It’s a good time to make a transition.”

“You know it’s not easy to go from doing this for as long as you have to not being out there every day.” I’d heard this before, about guys who retired and suddenly didn’t know what to do with themselves and their free time.

“That’s another thing I wanted to speak to you about. I’d like to stay on as part of the organization.”

Kasper rubbed his chin. “Have you thought about in what capacity?”

I grinned, an idea forming in a lightbulb moment. “I just had an idea. I like talking to people. Not as much as King, but I like to think I’m a friendly guy. I’m not cocky.”

“No, you’re not. And you can stay calm as long as you’re motivated to do so. This season has been a welcome improvement.”

“What about me working in PR with Katie?” It was a wild idea but one that once I thought of, started taking roots.

“PR?”

“I could go to college. Maybe ask Stephen about attending Espen University. I want to be an asset to the team. Plus, I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of having cameras shoved in my face. This would be a way for me to help coach the guys who need it.”

“We have been thinking about bringing on another person to her team.”

“That could be me.” I pointed to myself. “Just let me get through college or even basic courses. I have no idea what’s involved.”

Kasper leaned forward, putting his forearms on the desk. “We’d pay for your education if you’re going to work for us.”

“I have enough money to do it myself.”

“Let us do it. We like to invest in our people. I like to invest in them.”

I couldn’t stop smiling. “Did we just have a full circle conversation where I said I was retiring, and you offered to send me to college so I could work for you in another capacity?”

He chuckled. “We did. I like to retain the talent we have if I can. I think with your experience, you could offer a unique perspective in that department. Are you sure this is what you want?”

“I’ve been thinking about retiring a lot, so yes, it is.”

“Okay. I need to speak with Katie, but I’m sure she’d love to have you on her side rather than causing her more work.” He winked then stood, holding out his hand, which I accepted. “Thank you for coming to me first. I’ll be in contact after I speak with Katie.”

“Thank you, Kasper.”

* * *

How long could I delay telling the guys what I was doing? We were in the hotel, all of us getting our rooms. They were joking around. It was the perfect time to gather them and tell them, but damn, I was nervous.

Deciding to just get it over with, I sent a quick group text to the guys, asking them to come to my room. It wasn’t long before they piled in, asking me what was going on.

Devon shut the door, ensuring it was just us who would hear, no one else.

“Okay,” I said when all eyes were on me. “I’ve decided I’m retiring.”

Devon offered a soft smile, already knowing I was thinking about this.

King, on the other hand, threw himself at me to hug me with all his might. I embraced him back. It took Hayes prying him off me so we could talk.

Hayes clapped me on the shoulder. “Congrats. That’s a big deal.”

“You’re not shocked?”

“Nah. We know you. We play with you. You’ve changed for the better. I figured this might be coming. Besides, your contract is up at the end of the season. I would have been more shocked if you signed on for longer.”

“Huh,” I muttered. I guess this wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.

“Are you moving?” King asked. “Going back to Pittsburgh?”

“No, I’m staying where I am, but also keeping my condo there. I want to be able to visit my family without needing to stay in a hotel or in a spare bedroom at my parents’ house.”

There he was, launching himself onto me again. “You’re going to come to family dinner night at my ma’s house once a month. Bring Corey.”

“King, you’re still going to see me at the arena.”

That got him off me. His eyes were wide. “What do you mean?”

“I talked with Kasper first, wanting to let him know.” After I was done speaking with him, I went to Coach and others. Would other teams handle things that way? No, probably not, but Kasper wasn’t a regular team owner either. “I’m going to attend college so I can work in PR for the team. Kasper spoke with Katie and it’s a done deal. I’m not going anywhere.”

Jansen grinned. “That’s fantastic. Hey, I’ll talk to Stephen. If you want to go to Espen U, that is.”

“I do. It’s close and won’t take time away from my personal life.”

“Things are going good with Corey then?” He was the only one who knew about what happened with Corey’s mom.

“We’re great.”

“Wait, you are going to do PR?” Noah asked. “You, the man who hates the press.”

“I don’t hate them unless they’re digging into my life or show up when I do shit I shouldn’t. The reporters at the games are fine.”

Noah rolled his eyes.

“I’m growing,” I said. “I want to stay with the Jetties, and this is the best way I thought to do that. Actually, I didn’t know what I wanted to do when I walked into Kasper’s office, but it came to me. I’m a nice fucking guy. I could easily work in PR.”

King patted my chest. “That’s right. You can do anything you want. Oh, maybe now I can get some of these ideas I have for social media pushed through Katie. You’ll be on her good side and can convince her.” He grinned while looking past everyone like he was peering into the future.

“No,” Hayes said. “Knox isn’t going to try to get your ridiculous ideas through Katie.”

King turned and glared at his partner. “My ideas aren’t ridiculous.”

“Not all of them, but most of them are.”

“Whatever,” he muttered. I was sure Hayes was right, knowing King like I did.

They kept bickering back and forth. All it did was warm my heart. I loved these guys. No matter what, they’d always have my back and I’d do the same for them.

Jansen hugged me tight, telling me he couldn’t wait to see me as a student and would have Corey and me over to his house. Devon embraced me next, letting me know how proud he was of me, and that I’d still have to visit and skate on his rink at home. Noah said he’d invite me for dinner with him and his wife. King, well, he was King. I would be going to dinner with his family and also seeing him and Hayes at their home with Jamie.

These guys accepted and loved me as I did them. They’d been with me through all my shit and still stood by my side. I was beyond grateful for them.

There was a lot of love in this room. I was lucky to be part of it.