Page 5 of Breaking Through the Doubt (Espen Jetties #4)

5

LESLIE

“I can’t believe you got a tattoo,” Jansen said as he hovered over me. “I saw it once already but now I get to really look at it. The work is insane.”

The guys saw it when we showered last time we were at the arena. I was so stuck in my head about Corey, I forgot the ink he put on my body. How fucked up was that? I had beautiful art permanently etched into my skin, and I thought more about the man who did it than the tattoo itself.

“You should see the designs and photos he has up in the shop.” I was currently sprawled out on Stephen’s couch with my shirt off, so Jansen could look at my tattoo and put the ointment on for me. It was a bitch to try to do it myself, given the location. Sure, I could reach part of it but not all. Plus, the couch was comfortable.

“Leslie, why is my boyfriend rubbing your bare back?”

Turning my head, I grinned at Stephen. “I can’t reach the tattoo to put the ointment on.”

“I’m just being a good friend,” Jansen said and pressed a kiss to Stephen’s cheek.

“I’ll do it, so you don’t have to touch him.” Stephen tried to grab the little jar, but Jansen quickly spun out of the way. I leveled up onto my elbows to watch them.

“I don’t think so,” my friend replied. “You’re not touching him.”

“Jesus, just put the shit on my back and shut up,” I said, sitting up.

Jansen did so quickly while Stephen watched. Then he kissed his boyfriend’s lips. “I only want you.”

“I know, but still, Leslie’s very attractive.”

I grinned. “Thank you, Stephen.”

“I wasn’t done. But you’re sexier, Jansen.” He put his arm around Jansen’s waist, and I let out a sigh.

My friend deserved all the happiness in the world, but I wondered when it would be my turn. I must have been caught in my head again because when I snapped back to reality, they were both looking at me with concern in their eyes.

“Don’t say it,” I said and stood to put my shirt back on. “I don’t want your pity.”

“It’s not pity,” Stephen told me. “We want you to be happy.”

“I will be.” I left off the eventually.

“Come with me,” Jansen said. “We’re going for a walk.”

They’d just closed on their new house but weren’t fully moved in yet. I was in Stephen’s living room. They bounced between their homes. I should have felt bad about coming by, but Jansen invited me over for dinner. There was an urge to resist, then I thought of how Stephen’s home was closer to where Corey’s studio was than where I lived.

We headed outside and started along the sidewalk. The air was cooling down. Summer was gone, fall taking its place. We were quiet for a bit as we walked. Cars drove by but nothing like they did downtown.

“Tell me,” Jansen said.

“About what?”

“Why did you come for dinner? We’d invited you before, but you blew us off. I know there’s a reason you were willing to drive out here.” He was right of course. I didn’t live in the city, instead choosing to live in a peaceful suburb like Devon did.

“I want to see him again.”

“Who?”

“Corey.”

We stopped at the end of the block but instead of looking both ways before crossing, Jansen put his hand on my arm to turn me toward him. My eyes met his as his dark curls danced on the sea breeze. “The tattoo artist?”

“It’s stupid, I know. I can’t get him off my mind though. There was something about him. This kindness. He was so gentle when he tattooed me, and he was easy to talk to.”

“Did you fall for the guy who cuts your hair too?”

I scrunched up my nose. The guy who cut my hair was very straight and married. “No.”

“Okay, so why Corey? He probably talks like that with everyone, kind of like the hair stylist. They chat with the people they’re working on, make polite conversation so you’ll tip them big. And I imagine it keeps the tattoo clients calmer while they’re shoving needles into your skin.”

“Shit,” I muttered. Looking both ways, I crossed the street.

Did Corey only talk to me like that to make conversation? What Jansen said made sense, but it felt like more with Corey. Or maybe I was reaching, which was most likely what this was. Fuck my life. I really needed to find someone who wanted me for more than my dick and money.

“Knox,” Jansen said as he caught up with me. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m just trying to look at this realistically. Did he flirt with you?”

“No, but there was a vibe.”

“A vibe?”

“Yeah, like I wasn’t just another person who came in to get tattooed. Maybe it was all in my head.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. If you felt like there was something between you, then maybe there was.”

“How would I know?” I groaned, second-guessing everything.

“Go down there.”

I stopped short, Jansen went two paces past me before he realized I wasn’t beside him. “You want me to go there? And say what exactly?”

“Tell them your tattoo is sore and you want to know if it’s normal.”

“It is. It says so on the paperwork. Besides, I know how to use the fucking internet. I think I could search that.” I’d look like a moron if I went in there and said that. Or extremely desperate. Well, I was, but I didn’t need to come off that way.

Jansen rolled his eyes. “You need a reason to go back there. Who gives a shit what it is? Say you lost the paper. Whatever. Just go to the shop. You won’t know if there’s something between you unless you see him again.”

“And if he seems standoffish then I’ll know.”

“One way or another. We leave for the road tomorrow. You need your head in the game.” He gripped my shoulder, giving me a little shake. “We’re depending on you.”

I nodded. He was right. I couldn’t let my team down again this year. We won the Cup last season, but I wasn’t on my game for much of it. I was a damn mess. This season I vowed to do better.

We walked for a while longer before we turned and headed back to Stephen’s house. I should have bought a house near the beach. Instead, I went with a more wooded area like where I grew up in Pennsylvania. I didn’t like being in the city all the time, but when I wanted to see my friends, I had to hike it out here. The same with work. The only person I could get to quickly was Devon. He and Lincoln were pretty solitary when we weren’t working. I didn’t want to bother them.

Stephen was tidying up from dinner when we returned. I totally forgot about the meal and was too focused on myself and my tattoo. My attempt to remedy it was met with Stephen’s kind eyes, telling me I didn’t need to worry about cleanup. He just wanted to make sure I was okay. Jansen got lucky with him. Even after the bullshit when the media found out Stephen was Jansen’s ex’s father, they came out stronger. Sure, they had their ups and downs, everyone did. They were solid now.

Jansen walked me to the door. “Go see him.”

“I’ll look stupid.”

“Since when do you care what others think of you?”

I shook my head. “I don’t most of the time, but this feels different.”

“Then maybe it is.” He pulled me in for a hug, knowing it was what I needed without me having to say anything. “If it all sucks, come back here and we’ll watch a movie or something.”

Leaning away, I said, “I won’t do that. You need to spend time with Stephen before we leave.” Our jobs took us all over. Time home was precious. I’d already wasted enough of their evening. I wouldn’t rob them of more of it.

After hugging Jansen again, I said goodnight to Stephen and thanked him for dinner. My car sat under a streetlight, waiting for me to get in and point it toward the tattoo studio. It took me a solid five minutes once I got inside the car before I started it. I was behaving like an idiot. Jansen was right. I wouldn’t know unless I went there. The worst that could happen would be him acting like everything was just business, and he didn’t feel the connection I did.

The drive to the studio was done in silence. The radio would have done nothing for my nerves. It was all insane. I shouldn’t be nervous, yet I was.

The lights from the windows drew my eyes to it as I walked to the front door. My fingers found the key in my pocket I always kept with me and rubbed for good luck. To say I was superstitious was an understatement. This key had been with me since the start of my professional career.

I still remembered the day my dad gave it to me as I was about to leave home. He had me open my palm and placed the old key in it. When I glanced down, it looked like any I’d seen before.

“Keep this with you. It will bring you good luck.”

“What’s it go to?” I asked.

“Nothing that I’m aware of.”

I cocked an eyebrow at him in question.

“The night I went on my first date with your mother, I was walking to my car and found it. I tucked it in my pocket, not wanting to be late. The date went on and I found myself reaching for the key every time I was nervous. When I came home that night, I asked around the house and no one was missing it. I even asked my neighbors the next day. I had no idea where it came from, but I told your mom about it on our next date. She jokingly said it was the key to her heart. The thing was, it was in a sense. It kept me grounded and focused on her instead of the butterflies in my stomach. The key has been with me ever since. Even on our wedding day, I had it in my pocket.” I couldn’t believe he hadn’t told me about it before.

“And you want to give it to me?” I asked in shock.

“I do. I’ve had enough luck for a lifetime. You’ve had your own, but you could always use more. Keep this with you and may it bring you the same luck it did me.”

I’d kept the key with me since. While I’d had a hell of a career, amazing friends, and a loving family, there was still part of my life that wasn’t fulfilled. So, as I stared at the door to the tattoo studio, I rubbed my fingers over the key and hoped for the best. It certainly couldn’t hurt to inject a bit of luck into my life. It was the same key I touched before every game, that I kept in my locker while I played, and pocketed as soon as I got dressed after. I could only hope it still had some magic left in it.

I pulled the door open, and the sound of music greeted me. My eyes swept the room, but Corey wasn’t out front. There was a woman behind the counter, who smiled when she saw me.

Approaching the desk, I felt my face get a little hot, but I pushed forward. “Hi, I… Um…” Fuck, I didn’t usually stumble over my words. “I lost the paper.”

“The paper?”

“The one Corey gave me after I got the tattoo.”

“Oh, you could have looked up the instructions online. They’re on our website.”

That time my face turned red. “I didn’t think about that,” I muttered.

“Here’s another copy so you have it.”

I took the paper from her and was about to turn to leave when Corey walked toward the front with someone he must have just tattooed. My eyes met his, and I couldn’t move. It was like I was stuck in cement.