Page 16 of Bleeding Hearts (Pine Valley College #3)

We break apart, turning to the next batch of people. Her hand grabs mine, our fingers twining together, and I glance at her. I shouldn’t. I should let go, but right now, I need her strength. She’s wrong. I’m not strong or brave. I’m just stubborn.

She smiles at me sadly and tugs me away from the coffins and back into the crowd.

I let her. I would follow her anywhere if I could.

When the next batch of screams begins, I can’t do it.

I let go of her hand and step back. “I’m going to wait in a truck.

” I head over to them and climb into the back of one, pressing my face to my knees as I try to block out the screams. Hands cover my ears, and I lift my head to see her kneeling before me.

For a moment, I see her as she was that night, huddled before me with my arms sheltering her. Now her arms shelter me in the dark, and I lean forward and bury my face against her chest, letting her block it all out.

“I’m so fucked up, Alice. I shouldn’t let you comfort me. I know I’ll hurt you again tomorrow, but I’m selfish, and I can’t let go,” I mumble.

“Then be selfish, I’ll let you,” she murmurs as she forces my head up. “Hurt me all you want. I don’t care. I’ll be right here every time you need to be weak. I can take your hatred, babe, so pour it into me. Give it to me.”

“I don’t want to. I don’t want to hurt you in any way. This is my shit to deal with.” I smack my chest. “I’m the fucked up one. Don’t you see that? You deserve better.”

“I get to choose what I deserve, and I choose you. I’ll keep saying it until you believe it. You’re not fucked up, Lally. You’ve been through a lot. You’re a survivor, and with that comes wounds. Some of yours are still bleeding, that’s all.”

“Why do you keep coming back to me after everything I do to you?” I murmur as I search her beautiful eyes.

“Because I know you’re worth it. Lally, whether you want me to or not, I care for you. You made me love you, you made me care, and now I’m not going anywhere,” she replies, her voice strong and confident.

I can’t give her the words she needs. I would have been able to before, but not now, so instead, I give her the only part of me I can.

My lips press to hers in a brutal kiss, and I swallow her gasp of surprise.

I slide my hands into her hair, yanking her head back and to the side so I can deepen the kiss.

She doesn’t protest, tugging me closer as she whimpers, matching my wild pace.

Her nails dig into my arms, the slight sting making me groan as I suck on her tongue and drag her closer.

Sliding my hands down her body, I grip her hips and lift her up.

She gasps into my mouth as she straddles my lap.

Gripping her tight ass, I pull her so she’s pressed against me.

Her hands slide down my arms and sides, replacing the feel of the ticklish spider legs as she pulls back.

Her eyelids flutter open as I bite her bottom lip and soothe it with my tongue before kissing her chin.

I slide my hands between us and grip her breast over her shirt, squeezing as the other holds her ass.

“I want to touch you,” she whispers breathlessly, her bottom lip catching on my chin as I kiss down her neck. “Please, Lally, let me touch you. If tonight is all I get, then let me touch you. Let me remember it forever.”

I bite her neck and let her cry echo around the empty space, the screams from the crowd covering it as I leave my mark and then kiss her hard before I lean back on the bench seat, watching her.

Her cheeks are flushed with desire, and her hands fist my shirt as she rocks on my lap, grinding against my thigh to get off.

“You want to touch me?” I ask slowly.

She nods.

I shouldn’t. Letting her touch me is different than me taking what I want from her. It’s easy to maintain distance when I’m in control and it’s only her pleasure on the line. If I let her touch me, it will make things messy, but the idea . . .

My pussy clenches in want, my clit throbbing in time with my heart as I imagine those pretty, innocent eyes on mine as I force her to pleasure me.

Shit.

It’s fucked up.

We should be getting out of here, but in the darkness, I finally let go of my control and take what I want. She can make me forget for a little while. It won’t change anything.

I push her from my lap and hear her knees hit the floor of the truck.

She stares at me, waiting for my instructions.

I remind myself she’s a baby gay. She isn’t used to this, but I can’t seem to stop as I grab her chin and lean in.

“Don’t say you didn’t ask for this. If you want to touch me, Alice, then you’ll make me come. Do you understand? I don’t teach.”

“You won’t have to.” She wiggles in want. “Please let me touch you. It’s all I think about. I want to feel your skin. I want to feel . . . I want to feel your pussy. I want to touch yours like you did mine.”

“What else do you want?” I smirk, brushing my lips over hers.

“I want to taste you,” she whispers brazenly.

Pulling back, I force myself to calm down, but I tangle my fingers in her hair as she waits for my permission. I press her head down and widen my thighs. “You want to touch me? Then do it.”

“Really?” She looks so hopeful.

I’m a fucking asshole, a damaged, fucked-up asshole, but I can’t seem to stop myself from bathing in her innocence and taking it for myself. Soon, there will be none left, but I can’t stop.

I press her hands to the hem of my skirt and drag it up until my black thong is exposed.

“Really. Touch me. Taste me. It’s the only chance you’ll get—” My words end in a groan as her hand slips into my thong, finding me wet.

Her eyes meet mine as she leans down and grips my thong with her teeth then jerks her head, snapping it.

As I watch, she pockets my underwear, sliding her thighs apart until her face is level with my cunt. “I’m waiting,” I say when all she does is stare.

“You’re so pretty,” she murmurs, her pink tongue darting out to lick her lips.

“I’ve dreamed about what you would taste like.

I’ve woken up coming from dreaming of fucking you.

” Her brazen words make my eyes widen. “I’ve done so much research in hopes that one day, I could make it good for you.

” Her hand covers my pussy, her soft fingers exploring me before she presses against my clit, making me groan as my legs open wider.

“It’s different than touching myself. You’re so much softer . . . warmer.” Her voice stops as she rubs her face against my pussy, and the sight makes me bite back a moan.

Her fingers softly rub my clit, and despite my warning, I reach down and palm her hair until she looks at me.

“Harder and faster,” I inform her. She nods, and her fingers speed up.

“Harder,” I growl, chasing her fingers, and she finally gets the speed I want, making my channel clench as desire spasms through me. “Like that.”

“You’re so wet,” she whimpers, sliding her other hand down and pushing two fingers inside me without hesitation.

My cunt clenches around them as my chest arches, and I roll my hips, needing to come.

My nipples are tight and throbbing, but I ignore them as she curls her fingers inside me before pulling them out and thrusting back in.

“Mouth,” I order.

Her eyes roll back to mine, a smile tilting her lips before she leans down and presses a kiss against my pussy, and then her tongue darts out and innocently laps at my folds, all while her fingers rub my clit and fuck me.

My head hits the canvas wall of the truck as pleasure spirals through me. Her touch is bumbling and unsure, and her tongue is hesitant and innocent, but hell, it’s amazing. I grind my hips into her mouth, chasing pleasure that has never felt so raw and strong before.

“Alice.” Her name on my lips makes her sigh against my flesh, and her fingers speed up on my clit as her tongue replaces her fingers inside me. My heavy breathing is loud in the back of the truck as I watch her.

“Slow, slow . . .” I groan. “Like that.”

She follows my instructions, and I lose my ability to speak as her touch grows bold and confident. Pleasure spirals through me until I grind into her face. I hold her tightly as my heart hammers and my pleasure grows until I cry out.

I fall over the precipice, my entire body locking up as I jerk and ride it out. Her tongue laps at me, her fingers circling my clit until I fall back, panting as pleasure rolls through me.

She greedily circles my hole, lapping up my cream, but I’m so sensitive I push her away. Her face is covered in my cum, her lips are swollen, and her mouth is parted with her heavy breaths.

She’s fucking gorgeous, and I know I never stood a chance.

She slides up my body, her eyes blazing with emotions so strong I can feel them. “Was that okay?” she asks. “I want to make sure you enjoyed?—”

“It was incredible,” I say, not wanting to hurt her.

“You’re incredible.” Her smile disarms me, and I know I can’t keep doing this to her.

She deserves better. She doesn’t deserve someone who’s hot then cold.

She deserves someone who will cherish her, protect her, and never make her guess their feelings.

She deserves to be happy more than anything in the world.

I want her to be happy, even if it’s not with me.

I can live with her being with someone else, even if it will destroy what is left of my heart, but I can’t live with her losing her life and her spark because of me.

I just can’t.

In the dark truck, with screams and horror just inches away, I let myself admit the truth.

I love Alice.

Gripping her chin, I kiss her softly, knowing it will be the last time, and she smiles as I pull back. “I love you.” Her eyes widen, and something hopeful blooms within them before I squash it. “Stay away from me.” I let go, climb from the truck, and disappear.