Page 86 of Balance

I was in the hospital again. Bindings cut into my wrists and ankles as the hard mattress refused to allow for any sort of retreat. It was dark, and my lungs screamed for air.

But why now… hadn’t it been a dream?

This day simply could not get any worse.

“Bianca?” Julian was shaking my shoulders, the cloth forgotten, and his voice was icy, breaking through the numbness. “Snap out of it.”

I heard him, and the rushing footsteps pounding their way past my awareness. But I couldn’t respond. Breathing was the most important thing. A second later, the weight lifted from my chest, cool air rushing into my aching lungs.

Julian’s face swam in my vision, anchoring me as I sought to regain my bearings.

“What the hell did you do to her?” Damen’s accusation hung heavy in the air.

Julian’s steadfast gaze tore from mine, and he looked over my shoulder. “I’m not sure I appreciate your tone.”

Miles knelt on the ground beside the two of us, his hand closing over mine. “What happened?”

Julian ignored the onmyoji, turning his frown to me. “Bianca—”

I was done with today; just totally done. “N-never mind.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Damen spat out, exchanging an angry look with Titus. “That’s all you ever say!” He shifted his glower to me. “Haven’t you learned to trust us by now?”

Yes, but…

It was one thing to talk about the past, or even about physical ailments. But I wasn’t even entirely sure this wasrealor if it’d been just a nightmare.

If I told them and it wasn’t true, would they still believe me about the important things?

Communication.

The word rose unbidden in my thoughts, and Mu’s warning echoed through my mind.

He said I had to open up to make this work, and I’d just been getting annoyed at Miles for hiding his own thoughts. It wasn’t just about talking about experiences, it was about being honest with every part of yourself.

I couldn’t expect something from Miles when I wasn’t able to do it myself. I had to be an example.

“What did I do?” Julian asked, brow twisted. The guilt radiating from him was so thick it was almost visible. “What—”

His next question cut off abruptly as I glanced at the discarded handkerchief, unable to hold back my shiver.

“I’m a-actually not sure.” My voice was barely a squeak, because how dumb was it to be afraid of a stupid dream?

“Not sure about what?” Damen took control, stepping closer as his form radiated authority.

“I-if it was real?” I offered, half-shrugging.

A pregnant pause filled the space, and Damen’s next question was wary. “Come again?”

“I thought it was a d-d-dream…” It had been, right? “I thought that… Maybe… W-w-when I was at the h-h-hospital the nurses…”

But what if I was wrong?

I would hate for anyone to get into trouble. Even if it was real, weren’t they just doing their jobs?

I did tell everyone the nurses were mean, and no one had said anything about it.

A movement blocked off my vision, and Miles pressed his hands against my cheeks.