Page 150 of Balance

“Are you asking?” Bianca’s forehead wrinkled at her question. “You said you were sure—”

“It’s fine.” I pulled off the cork. “No time like the present.”

Now she’d moved to her knees. “Miles,” she began. “I don’t think—”

I ignored her protest, swallowing the bittersweet liquid before her doubt transferred over to me. There really was no other choice, so there was no use in putting it off anymore.

I wasn’t sure what I expected—a tingle in my fingers or something—but nothing really happened. As I set the empty bottle on the ground beside me, Bianca voiced similar concerns. “So…” She leaned forward with a wary gaze. “What’s happening? Did it work?”

“Sure…” Sure it might not have worked, maybe. I held my hand in front of me, studying my fingernails. My skin, however, remained unchanged.

I wasn’t even remotely dizzy.

It was possible that Kathleen might have messed up. This wasn’t a potion she should have been able to easily make anyway, so that made sense. Maybe I could just—

My throat closed over and my stomach lurched. The aftertaste was far worse than the initial drink.

“Miles?” Bianca’s voice sounded from the distance. She sounded scared. I should respond.

But my head was spinning, and the ground shook under my knees. The last thing I saw before the light was shut away was her reaching toward me and her terrified, unsure face.

Damp, familiar walls pressed in from all directions, and shadows from the stalactite ceiling moved across the space—dancing in the light of the two torches, held firmly in place to the earthen walls and the exits they protected.

I felt both hot and cold as the energy of the earth, the air, and the shadows reached outward, grabbing at my ankles, welcoming me to this space.

This was the first time I’d visited the belly of the earth in this lifetime, but even without fully accessing my memories, it was home.

“I never thought you’d visit,” said a voice from behind me, and I turned, not surprised to see Tu. Of course, he lived here—these aspects of ourselves stayed tucked away in our native homes, safely residing where we’d first been formed untilthey wereneeded. “You called on me only a few weeks ago, but it wasn’t the same. What brings you here now?”

He didn’t need to ask; he should already know. “We need to step it up.”

“I’ve always been ready.” The holy man shrugged, the movements causing his beads to jangle. “It’s been your insecurities holding us back.”

Chocolate eyes peered out of an impassive face, and gold earrings glistened in the swaying lights. Dried earth ran in pencil-point lines over his skin, swirling into patterns meant to enhance our magic.

Tu was my ultimate self, the embodiment of everything I was meant to be. So, of course, seeing him this close only highlighted my own failings. It would take years of hard practice to get to where he was, and that was time I didn’t have.

“You’ve done it a million times already,” he replied. “We already know this. You only need to believe in yourself.”

I stepped toward him, palms up. “I can do it with your help.” There was no need to go through the whole ordeal—that was a guarantee of failure. “For Bianca’s sake.”

“Mu will be fine,” Tu replied, crossing his arms. The temperature seemed to drop some degrees. “She’s learning, just as you are, that life gives you no shortcuts. She’ll understand.”

“I still can’t wait,” I argued, my fists now pressed into my thighs. Bianca would be fine, probably, but things would go a lot smoother with my help. While I’d started by chasing my desire to not fall behind the others, to avoid the pity of witches who had already moved beyond my skillset, my focus had shifted lately.

We needed to be a more balanced quintet, for Bianca’s sake. And for that reason, I couldn’t procrastinate anymore.

I would do anything.

“Are you ready to face your shadow?” Tu cocked his head, eyes roaming over me.

My mouth went dry at the thought. I could do almost anything, even asking my past self for help. But not that.

The loud echo of water dripping from the ceiling rang through my head as Tu sighed, disappointment heavy in your expression. “You can’t handle the power.”

“I can!” I had to, there was no use half-assing it anymore. But to do shadow work… that was completely unnecessary. As Tu said already—we’d done this before. There was no need to go through the theatrics in every life.

“Then prove it to me.”