Page 173 of Balance

But I could do this.

Everything would be okay, so long as everyonestayed away.

I was back—dimly I could hear the boys around me, a whirlwind of movement, everyone close, but not touching, as their voices drifted in the void. Because, no matter how important they were to me, I couldn’t tear my attention away from the object of my attention.

Spellslayer.

Miles had known—this was what he’d been trying to tell me.

I wasn’t aiming to kill—I was breaking Kathleen’s spell.

My blade pointed to the ground as I remained, frozen in place, eye-to-eye with the monster. Kathleen was gone, and I might not be able to communicate with her spirit, but I could feel her presence still. It was here now, a small piece of her soul, reaching out for release.

The Snallygaster was the manifestation of Kathleen’s desire to be left alone—the result of the spell she’d cast while trying to run away. It was a spell she should never have been able to cast but did anyway. It had done its job. But she was gone now, and like the barrier that Miles and I had taken down earlier, there was no reason to leave this stone unturned.

Maybe this was why she hadn’t come back.

“Bianca, are you okay?” Julian ignored Miles’s snapped statement to stay back and reached toward me anyway. But I sidestepped him, raising the blade to my side.

The wind picked up, and the loose pieces of my hair brushed against my face. “Give me a minute,” I replied, not turning my focus from the dragon-like creature. Now that I was open to it, my heart twisted at the turmoil of emotion.

“Bianca?” Julian asked again.

I grasped both handles and moved. This time it was easy to push forward, to slide the blade into the creature’s heart; because it was an act of mercy: the spell needed to be broken so that the final piece of Kathleen could be free. The hilt pulsed under my hands, yet there was no rebound or physical resistance. The creature, which had only moments ago seemed so physical and real, suddenly lacked presence and depth, and gold light sliced through its form like whispers of smoke in the wind.

“You’ve got it!” Miles exclaimed, pushing past Julian and Damen who watched the scene in silence. He reached me just as the blade’s golden hue faded, returning to its blood-red color. “I’m so proud of you.” He wasn’t shy about pushing past my lowering sword and wrapping his arms around my shoulders, smashing my face to his chest.

The numbness began to fade, and a bone-weary exhaustion began to take its place. There was a heaviness to my limbs that even Miles’s influx of courage couldn’t shake. The hilt slipped from my fingers and I curled my fists near my cheek.

Miles might have been happy about the end result, but I wasn’t. The sliver of Kathleen’s presence had completely vanished, along with any hope that I might catch her again.

There was still something wrong with me.

Damen’s presence loomed near us. “So youcanfight.”

I opened my eyes. The onmyoji glanced between me and Titus. The dragon had already returned to human form and was wrapped in a blanket. Of course, it wasn’t a very effective wrapping, but I’d become numb to it all.

“I told you, I never taught Mu those techniques,” Titus answered, knotting the blanket at his waist. “It was her the whole time.”

“I’m not very good at it.” I sighed, closing my eyes and pressing my nose to Miles’s chest. “I hadn’t gotten very far in my training, and it’s been a long time.”

“And that’s why you’re never to put yourself in harm’s way, especially for my sake, ever again,” Damen insisted, ignoring Miles’s protest as he pulled me from the witch. He turned me to him, expression blazing. His fingers dug into my shoulders. “Do you understand, baby girl? I forbid it.”

I narrowed my eyes; for the moment, at least, my filter was gone. “You can stop treating me like I’m a piece of meat.” I was too tired for his crap. Now that the drama was over, all I wanted was to go home, take a bath, eat some cake, and sleep for a week. “And you still can’t tell me what to do.”

Especially not Damen Abernathy.

The others, who’d briefly begun to protest at Damen’s outburst, suddenly silenced. The surrounding woods were now empty outside of the five of us—breaking Kathleen’s spell removed any trace that the Snallygaster ever existed, and my sword had disappeared to who-knew-where. But my attention remained on the onmyoji, holding his gaze.

“Please don’t fight…” Miles began slowly, interrupting once it became evident that neither Damen nor I were willing to make amends. “We just got back together.”

It was Damen who broke first, the fire dimming as he let out a long, low sigh. “Fuck.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I don’t have the patience for this shit.”

“What?” Annoyance faded in an instant as warmth spread from my chest to my toes. My insides curled. I hated when he did this to me. His mood swings were so hard to follow.

“It’s a good thing I’m confident in my masculinity,” he muttered under his breath, so low I almost didn’t hear him.

I opened my mouth to respond—because, really,washe confident? It certainly didn’t seem like it to me… sometimes. Especially considering his flamboyance.