Page 138 of Balance

“O-okay?” Bianca had stepped back, watching me, and I wondered if I looked as crazed as I felt.

But this wasn’t something I could simply explain, not without exposing my weakness to Bianca. Outside of that, leaving in the middle of the night was stupidly reckless, but my skin itched with the need to move. The full moon’s energy drove me forward.

Originally, I was the one leading us through the trees; but it was still hard to see, even with the lantern and the bright moonlight. After a whispered question about our destination—at which time I realized I hadn’t even told Bianca where we were going—she began to lead the way. She didn’t complain about walking in the dark, only reaching her hand back to grasp mine as I stumbled after her.

My hesitation faded as her fingers threaded through mine, and her frame steadied as she pulled me after her. I didn’t know if she realized how confident she seemed as she unwaveringly weaved us past any obstacles.

I stepped after her, sound fading as I studied her silhouette. Her braid swayed gently as she moved, and every so often I’d capture a glimpse of bright green as her attention flickered to me.

My chest tightened at the sight—she was one step closer while I was being left behind. Did she know, though, that her eyes glowed when she was in-tuned with her abilities?

She must know. Why wouldn’t she?

Still, seeing it never failed to cause my breath to catch. The quiet was almost deafening, and the pressure was rising for me to offer something to break this sullen mood. But my thoughts were swimming—the knot in my stomach twisting as regret washed over me. I hadn’t been there for Kathleen, and she’d been alone all this time.

Even though our officers—even the proxies—were meant to work for us, they were still our responsibility.

Kathleen, Jonathon, and even Abigail… How did I miss so much? I’d been running from my role—leadership was something I’d always been thrown into, but never enjoyed.

It was my fault that my people were suffering, and Bianca too.

But how could I take charge? Without access to my higher self and my full strength, I was basically powerless.

Bianca’s hand tightened and she glanced back at me once more. “Watch your step here.”

A sigh caught in my throat—she was taking care of me again. And yes, while I definitely would have tripped and fallen on my face, this helplessness really wasn’t all that reassuring.

Maybe this was why she didn’t trust me. I didn’t blame her.

I bet—at this exact moment—she was wallowing in disappointment.

“Can you tell me something about her?” Bianca asked, her attention back to her invisible path.

I was struck dumb for a moment. “Huh?”

“Kathleen,” she asked. “You seemed to have had a good relationship.”

“I…” Well, we did. Once.

But that was a long time ago, back when I was little.

“My grandparents—on both sides—didn’t approve of my parent’s relationship.” My focus turned to the ground, not that I could see much; but it was easier to let Bianca completely take the lead right now. At least she wouldn’t let me walk face-first into a tree.

I hoped.

“It was Kathleen who taught me about herbs and basic brewing,” I continued. “She was a crystal witch, so she preferred working with gems, but most witches do know how to do a bit of everything, just in case. She became a grandmother figure for me.”

“That must have been nice.” Her voice was so low I almost missed it, and a pang shot through my chest. Kathleen had been Bianca’s grandmother too—at least legally—and she had never even been given the chance to know her.

“Kathleen made awesome chocolate chip cookies,” I offered—we could always bond over our mutual appreciation for good food. “I know the recipe; we can make them together. You’ve always loved to cook.”

She stopped walking then, shoulders squaring yet still not looking back to me. “How do you know that? You’ve never seen me cook.”

Well, she liked food… obviously. And although I might not recall much, I did know this from my own secret records. After all, the two protagonists did usually share a moment in the kitchen before moving on to activities that didnotinvolve food.

Well, most of the time. Sometimes there was the occasional creative use, but that wasn’t something that most people did.

Regardless, I knew for a fact that cooking had been a constant theme in our history.