Page 81 of Ashes of Us
“Look, I'm not saying Jasper was a bad person or that he was doing these things on purpose, but you two had very different backgrounds, despite growing up in the same socio-economic bracket and, not to get into the whole Nature Versus Nurture debate, but you were raised to be independent and understand the value of hard work and honesty.
Your foster family might have viewed raising you as a contract with the government and definitely weren't as loving as they should have been, but they instilled good values in you and taught you that actions have consequences.”
“Jasper wasn't raised that way. His mom and, to a lesser extent, his dad enabled him a lot.
Instead of addressing his lack of accountability with money, they'd top him up with what he needed.
He was used to them dropping everything for him, sometimes even before he asked them to, so it upset him when you didn't automatically do the same.
He was an only child, so he was used to being the center of attention.
He was raised in a large family that places a lot of value on being close- knit and the whole blood is thicker than water crap.
You said most of his friends were his cousins he grew up with, so he didn't understand how you could have such a close relationship with people you weren't blood related too.
In contrast, you don't have a relationship with your biological family at all and know that blood or a legal document doesn't make you family, mutual love and respect does.” Dr. Marlowe paused and smiled gently at her. “You see what I'm saying?”
“Yeah, you're saying we were very different people.” Danica nodded, some of the tension in her body seeping out as he summed up months of therapy conversations. “Cecil said the same thing, actually. It was a case of opposites attract.”
“Yes!” He reached out and tapped her knee with his pen.
“And while being opposites can work in a couple's favour, it's usually only when the differences are in non-core areas, like say an extrovert and an introvert, they balance each other out. But in core areas, like values and morals, such as you valuing saving for a rainy day and Jasper valuing what the money could get him in the moment, caused problems because you clashed when you had to make decisions. You were so scared that he was going to blow through your inheritance, you lied to him about why you put it in a trust and felt you had no choice in the matter.”
“And I resented him for making me feel like I had to lie to him to avoid a fight and to protect us long-term.” Danica felt like all her guilt melted away as soon as the words came out of her mouth.
“I was so angry, and I couldn't even tell him why I was mad because it would mean admitting I lied, which made it worse because I was only lying because of him in the first place.”
“You felt trapped.” Dr. Marlowe nodded, looking extremely pleased that she finally had the revelation.
“But what I really need you to understand is if it wasn't the lie and the inheritance, it would have been something else.
The thing that brought you two together would have eventually driven you apart.
Your core values were just too different.
For long-term stability, similarity in values, morals, and life goals matter more than the novelty, passion and curiosity that first brought you together.
Differences between two people are important, don't get me wrong, it keeps relationships dynamic, prevents stagnation, and keeps you from living in an echo chamber, but if there are more differences than similarities, it doesn't matter how much you love or admire a person, resentment will eventually drive you apart.”
Danica had left the session feeling much better about her guilt.
Dr. Marlowe also explained to her that falling for someone else did not minimize or negate her feelings for Jasper, and that the fact that while her physical attraction to Alex had been apparent from the beginning, the fact that they had developed a friendship without any promises or expectations of anything more than that, was a good indicator that her feelings were real and not just loneliness or a rebound, which was something else she had been concerned about.
“Of course, I can't tell you that you are one hundred percent, for sure not falling for him because he's been there for you and has shown he consistently has your back, which is something you didn't always feel you had with Jasper, but I'd also like to point out that Maverick has been there for you and has shown he's got your back, and you're not falling for him, despite saying you found him cute.”
Danica had pointed out that Maverick was in a relationship and, while she thought he was cute, it wasn't a sexual attraction, just an acknowledgement that he was an attractive man, but Marlowe had waved that off.
“You can't help who you develop feelings for. While knowing Maverick is in a relationship would make you not want to pursue him, it wouldn't stop you from falling for him. ”
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They had an overnight flight to Honolulu so they could spend most of it asleep since it was an eleven-plus-hour trip, but to Danica's surprise, instead of sitting in his usual spot at the table, Alex came over and sat next to her, opening and setting up his laptop on the tray.
“I downloaded a couple of the John Wick movies and figured we could watch one.” He reached into his bag and pulled out a bag of microwave popcorn with a grin. “What do you think?”
“Sounds like a plan.” Danica giggled as he jumped up and moved to the back of the plane to put the popcorn in the microwave and got up to get drinks from the fridge.
A few minutes later, they were reclined in their seats, the bag of popcorn between them, covered up in blankets with the lights turned down and the movie playing.
To her delight, Alex was also a talker during movies.
It was probably her most annoying trait, but Danica liked to discuss movie scenes, especially fight scenes and how realistic they were.
She had been sitting, biting her tongue and not commenting when Alex broke the silence.
“God, I love how the filmmakers designed the fight scenes around keeping things realistic with the weapons and how much ammo they have. I always have trouble suspending my disbelief when the lead character has a bottomless ammo clip.”
“Honestly, the way they choreographed the fight scenes to be so chaotic and realistic is why this is one of my favourite movie series.” Danica agreed, nodding emphatically.
“The directors were stuntmen, and they really wanted it to be realistic, and the fact that Keanu did ninety percent of his own stunts really adds to the realism.”
“He was older than me doing those stunts too.” Alex chuckled as he tossed some popcorn into his mouth. “And I'm sore for days after two hours of jujitsu.” He paused and looked at her like he'd just realized something. “I really need to work out more.”
Danica laughed and shook her head. “Nah, you just need yoga. Keeps you flexible and strong.”
“Is that what you do?” She saw him look her over out of the corner of her eye, appreciation clear in his expression and nodded.
“Yeah, I go to classes at the Y when I have time, but I try to do routines at home at least three times a week.” She explained. “Otherwise, walking Indie two or three times a day is the extent of my exercise routine. Which is really starting to suck now that it's getting colder.”
“No kidding.” Alex rolled his eyes and snorted playfully. “Seems like she takes forever to find a suitable spot to pee now.”
“Thank you!” Danica exclaimed, relieved that it wasn't just in her head because she had also noticed that the colder and damper it was, the longer Indie took to do her business. “I told Mave that, and he laughed and insisted it was my imagination!”
“It's definitely not.” He assured her, chuckling. “If it is, we've started having shared delusions.” They fell quiet again, watching the movie for a while. Danica found herself getting tired and shifted to get more comfortable. “Tired?”
“Mmm. Yeah, getting there.” Danica murmured, covering her mouth as she yawned. Alex smiled and moved so he was sitting at more of an angle and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him, so she was tucked up against his side.
“Then you should get some sleep.” He told her softly, adjusting her blanket over her before running his fingers through her hair, his nails scratching her scalp lightly.
Danica decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and enjoy being cuddled and held for the first time in months.
She snuggled into him and let out a contented sigh.
“You're spoiling me.” She mumbled. “I'm not complaining.” She heard his low chuckle rumble through his chest under her ear and smiled.
“But you should be careful, I might start expecting this treatment all the time and become a brat.” She felt his arms wrap around her, and he pressed his face against the side of her head briefly, his lips pressed against her temple.
“Don't worry, I know how to handle spoiled brats.” He murmured, nuzzling into her momentarily before settling back and resuming running his fingers over her scalp. “Get some rest, Dani, it's a long flight.”