Page 71 of Ashes of Us
They arrived at the campground just after lunch, and Danica and Emilia waited as both Alex and Xavier spoke to the person in charge of reservations and came back a few minutes later.
The last forty or so minutes of the drive had been spent with Danica telling Emilia she needed to come clean about searching Xavier's messages and be very clear and blunt that things needed to change because she seriously was considering divorce.
Emilia tried to argue that she had tried to tell him, but that he never believed her, but Danica wasn't having it, she knew Emilia well enough to know that she was often mentally miles ahead of everyone else and thought they were on the same page as her, only to realize she hadn't given everyone all the information and they had no idea what she was talking about.
“I don't think he understands how bad it is yet,” Danica argued.
“He's probably talked to friends or his cousins, and they're all telling him this is just how things are after kids and being married for ten years.
Have you come out and said, “Maybe, but this isn't how I want our marriage to be?” And given him all the reasons why you're so unhappy?
Have you told him you don't feel loved or desired anymore?
Told him that you feel so disconnected, you thought he was cheating, went looking for proof and that you were disappointed you didn't find any?”
Emilia had gone quiet after that and turned up the music, effectively ending the conversation.
Danica slumped back in her seat and blew a lock of hair out of her face, wishing she had stayed home and never agreed to come.
She didn't think this was going to be the fun, relaxing weekend she was promised.
Her unease was made even worse when they were setting up on the large site, despite its pretty view of the water behind them.
She found out there were only three tents, but one of them was for their extra equipment and supplies, including coolers and cooking equipment.
Xavier acknowledged as they were setting up the third tent, that the small combination padlock wasn't going to keep a determined thief or large animal out, but felt that having things out of sight from the beginning was a good idea.
The fact that the park was full would make it harder for someone to walk up and take things while they were away from the site.
Anything valuable would be locked away in the spare tire compartment of the SUV, but he also didn't want anything to be visible in the trunk or main part of the SUV.
“I'd rather them cut open the tent than break a window to get access to things in here.” He explained when Danica questioned him about it.
Alex seemed to pick up on her nervousness about sharing a tent with him and asked her to help him set it up while Xavier and Emilia worked on theirs.
When he unrolled it on their space across the site from where Xavier and Emilia were setting up, she realized that his was much bigger than theirs.
“It's a three-bedroom tent.” He explained as they ran the poles through the sleeves.
“We have two double air mattresses that will fit in the side rooms, and the main section will be for changing and storing our things.”
That made her feel much better, although she thought that if she were really uncomfortable, Emilia would have been happy to insist that Xavier stay in the tent with Alex and that Danica stay with her.
When they got the shell of the tent up, Alex unzipped the door and showed her how to attach the fabric walls that separated the two “bedrooms” from the main area and tie them back out of the way until they were ready to sleep.
She helped him lay out large silver pads that he explained were to help keep the coldness from the ground from coming up through their air mattresses, and then they spent far too long pumping up said air mattresses with foot pumps.
“Aren't there air compressors that get power from the vehicle for these things?” She grumbled as she stepped back and let Alex take over for a few minutes.
She didn't camp, but she had used air mattresses before and knew that self-inflating ones were available.
“Yeah,” Alex smiled at her. “But then we wouldn't be getting the full camping experience.”
Danica huffed out a sigh and folded her arms as she sat on the floor to rest and watch him. “If we were going for the full camping experience, wouldn't we be sleeping on the ground under the stars?”
“We're not cavemen, Dani.” Alex chuckled and rolled his eyes. “But you're welcome to have that experience if you want to give up on the air mattresses.”
“No thanks.” She brought her knees up to her chest, folded her arms on them and rested her chin on her palm. “It's supposed to rain Saturday night.”
“Tents are waterproof; we just have to be careful that nothing touches the walls when it starts to rain. We'll be fine.” He assured her. “Everything okay? You've been grumpy since we got here.”
Danica shrugged half-heartedly. “Just not sure this is going to be fun for me.” She didn't want to break Emilia's confidence, especially not when she and Xavier were within hearing distance.
Although they either hadn't said a word to one another since they started setting things up, or they were talking very quietly to one another, because she hadn't heard anything from them.
“I don't like bugs or not having the internet or using a bathroom that reeks of shit and piss because it's just a hole in the ground with shit and piss in it from thousands of other people.” She felt a shiver run up her spine at the thought of using an outhouse. God, what was she doing here?
“Well, I can't promise no bugs at all, but we do have a few different things that should help keep them at bay.” He finished pumping up the mattress and crouched to twist the lid closed.
“Not having the internet for a few days isn't the worst thing in the world, but you do still have your phone, and there is service here, so technically you can still check your email and stuff.” He straightened up and came over to her, holding out his hand to help her up.
“And if you don't want to use the outhouse, you can always just go behind a tree.” He grinned as she glared up at him before reluctantly taking his hand and letting him pull her up.
“Of course, we're supposed to pack out whatever we pack in so...”
“That's disgusting.” Danica brushed her ass off and followed him to the door. “Look, I'm trying to keep an open mind, I really am, but I might need some grace here.”
“I'm sure we can manage that.” Alex ducked out of the tent and held the door to one side for her, then zipped it up behind them. “This is only my third- or fourth-time camping and I haven't done it since uni, so it's kind of like the first time again.”
“I thought you said this would be a first for both of us?” Danica frowned as she remembered their conversation when he first asked her to go. She blinked as she stepped back into the bright sunshine and saw Emilia and Xavier were putting together a screened-in gazebo over the picnic table.
“It was like, fifteen years ago.” He rolled his eyes. “I'm practically a virgin again, come on let's give them a hand.”
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They finished unloading the Buick, made sure there was nothing left around that looked valuable, did a drive around the campground to get an idea of its layout and where everything was, then made the hour drive north to Phippsburg to shop at the closest grocery store, which was less of grocery story and more of convenience store that had a bit of everything people who lived in the area could possibly need.
After they all picked up what they would need for meals and a couple of extra things each as snacks, they did a quick drive around Phippsburg before going back to the campground.
Danica noticed that Xavier seemed to be utterly oblivious to everything Emilia felt or thought.
He seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself, taking the lead on the conversations as he drove, laughed and joked with everyone, teased Danica about her dislike of the outdoors, happily discussed his and Alex's motorcycle trip the next day, and told Alex and Danica all about Gracie's progress, Benny's summer basketball camps and how well Delilah was doing in dance.
Emilia stayed quiet throughout everything and barely engaged, but it seemed like Xavier was either deliberately avoiding bringing it up or he didn't notice how completely disengaged she was, although Danica was leaning more toward he noticed and was overcompensating for her bad mood.
By the time they got back to the campground, the sun was already starting to go down, so they made the campfire to roast wieners for hot dogs, and Danica had to admit she was having fun with this part, but since she had a firepit in her backyard at her and Jasper's house, that wasn't that surprising. She usually enjoyed roasting wieners and making smore’s, especially when Jasper's cousins came by with their kids.
She was often the one who would light the fire and sit outside with them, talking about everything until their parents came and said it was time to go home.
She felt more relaxed sitting around the campfire, chatting and laughing with them than she had in the last few months.
Emilia seemed to relax more after eating and joined in a bit more on the conversation, however, Danica did notice that whenever the conversation turned to the kids, she would shut down until they moved on to other topics, but she did brighten up and become more animated when Xavier mentioned they had been approved for a emotional support animal through the K9 Comfort Foundation and were looking into getting one of the dogs who failed out of training for Delilah and Benny.