Page 17 of Ashes of Us
“Up and down,” Danica admitted. She had told Em all about the fight in the garage and the state of her marriage after at one of their rare coffee dates a month ago, so she knew Emilia would understand what she meant.
“I have moments where I'm completely fine and then other moments where I can't stop crying.” She hesitated, and then everything that had happened the night before came pouring out of her.
The woman approaching her and Alex in the hospital and what she said about being pregnant, the weird way Cecil had responded to her showing up at midnight to break the news of Jaspers death and how she now suspected Jasper had cheated.
Emilia listened quietly, and when Danica was finished, she heard the sound of a door closing.
“What did she look like?” Emilia's voice was hushed, and Danica frowned as she backed out of the driveway and headed in the direction that would take her to the Massachusetts General Hospital.
“I don't know. Black hair, brown eyes, taller than me.”Danica gave a vague description as she drove, wrinkling her forehead as she tried to remember what the woman looked like, but the truth was she hadn't really looked at the woman that hard; she had been too angry at her audacity. “Why?”
“Because she knew your name and knew who you were.” Emilia pointed out.
”But you didn't know her. Jasper wasn't the type to pick up random women from the bar, so he knew her, but hadn't introduced you to her.” Danica's frown deepened as she tried to wrap her brain around what Emilia was saying, but she couldn't figure it out; she was too tired, and her head hurt too much.
“Em, please. Just say it.” Danica couldn't quite keep the frustration out of her voice.
“I don't want to play twenty questions.” She loved Emilia, but she thought everyone was just as quick as she was to put things together, when the truth was no one could pull two seemingly separate threads together faster than she could.
She could almost hear her friend rolling her eyes at her in the annoyed huff that escaped her.
“Black hair, brown eyes, knew you, but you never met her? It was Lucy.” She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and when she did, the pieces fell in place for Danica.
Lucy was Jasper's ex-girlfriend, and from what Danica had pieced together from Jasper's various relatives, she expected him to propose but he ended up dumping her instead.
When they discussed past relationships, Jasper said he was with someone all through trade school, but he wasn't as serious about her as she was about him, and after he dumped her, she moved away.
“Jasper said she moved to Miami.” Danica came to a stop at a streetlight, still struggling to comprehend why Emilia would say it was Lucy.
“ She did, but according to Xavier, she moved back last year and immediately reached out to Jasper. He told her he was married and blocked her everywhere.” Emilia sounded remorseful as she spilled the beans.
”I wanted to tell you, but Xavier convinced me not to; he said Jasper had taken all the right steps and hadn't entertained her at all, so why potentially start a fight?”
Danica found she wasn't mad at Emilia or Xavier for not mentioning it, because she genuinely believed at her core that Jasper had done just that, told her he was married and blocked her.
If Jasper had cheated on her, she knew it had been a one-time thing that he had done impulsively after their argument, and she knew he would have wallowed in guilt and self-disgust after, just like he did every time he did something impulsively that got him in trouble.
She also believed he would have told her eventually because he always told on himself when the guilt and shame became too much.
Looking back over the last two months, everything began to make sense.
He was distant and short when she was away because she was out of sight, out of mind, giving him a break from the constant guilt he most likely felt and then when she was home, he love bombed her in a desperate attempt to make up for his attitude while she was gone and to try to make the guilt go away.
Her going away every second week was most likely why he hadn't confessed yet, because it gave him a break from his emotions.
“Please don't be mad, Danica.” Emilia's nervous voice filled the car, and Danica realized she had sat through the green light. Thankfully, it was early on Sunday, and the streets were mostly deserted.
“I'm not,” Danica assured her as the light changed again, and she put the car into gear and started to drive automatically.
“Really. It's fine. While I don't think it would have caused an argument like Xavier said, I understand why he might have thought it would.” Jasper's jealousy issues around Danica were almost legendary in his family, but it was also pretty well known that Danica didn't like it when other women hit on him, not because he entertained them, but because he didn't actively shut it down like he expected her to, he just laughed it off or would wink and say, “In another life, perhaps.”
They spent the rest of the conversation with Danica filling Emilia in on the plan, and debunking some of the rumors going around the group chats, which Danica had muted on her phone because it was almost constantly going off, namely that Jasper had been drunk or that the other driver had been, and that he wasn't actually brain dead, the hospital just didn't want to have him taking up a bed for too long.
By the time she got to the hospital, her head was absolutely pounding and she wanted nothing more than to turn around, go home and spend the rest of the day cuddling with Jaspers pillow, but she parked, got out of the car and after a brief moment to collect herself, she straightened her shoulders and headed inside to meet Cecil and Amy.