Page 15 of Ashes of Us
The feeling went away immediately as she faced the house.
Swallowing, she walked up the steps and, as Alex began backing out of the driveway, rang the doorbell.
She watched apprehensively as he drove down the street a little and then stopped, obviously waiting to see if someone opened the door for her.
She waited a few minutes, then rang the bell again, and this time, the hall light went on inside, so she knew someone was coming.
She could vaguely make out Cecil pulling his robe on as he came around the corner and stepped into the main entranceway.
When the porch light went on, she heard Alex's Jeep pull away and instantly felt her anxiety rise.
She was going to have to be careful, she reminded herself as she willed her heart to slow down; she couldn't start relying on Alex, no matter how easy he seemed to be trying to make it.
“Danica?” Cecil's voice broke her from her thoughts, and she looked up at her father-in-law, doing her best not to break down into tears as his worried face filled her vision. “What happened? Where's Jasper? I thought you were in Texas until Friday?”
“I got called back, Jasper...” Her voice broke, and she cleared her throat, trying desperately to hold it together. “Can I come in?” She didn't want to tell him on his front porch. He stepped back, his face betraying that he had a feeling about what she was about to say. “Where's Amy?”
“Asleep.” He shut the door behind her and gestured for her to follow him to the kitchen. “Her allergy meds knock her out cold.” He turned on the light and went to the stove, picked up the kettle and turned to the sink to fill it. “What happened?”
Danica fidgeted as she sat at the kitchen table. “Maybe we should wake up Amy.” She didn't want to have to explain twice, and she didn't want to leave Cecil to tell her alone, but Cecil shook his head as he shut off the water and returned the kettle to the stove.
“I know something is wrong.” He flicked on the stove and turned to face her, looking faintly annoyed.
“He's been sending us to voicemail all day after showing up here yesterday in a panic.
All he kept saying was he fucked up and you were going to leave him before his mother pulled him inside to calm him down.
He took off again without giving me any more explanation, and Amy refused to say what he told her.
So just tell me what he's done, and we'll go from there.”
Danica felt like the wind had been knocked out of her.
He'd actually cheated on her. There was no other explanation for any of that.
Whether or not he was the father of the woman's child was up in the air, but he had obviously thought he was and came to get advice from his mom about what to do.
She looked around the room wildly as she struggled to breathe, debating on just running from the house, but then felt Cecil's warm, rough hands holding hers and looked down at the permanently grease stained fingers for moment before looking into his somber brown eyes, the same shade of brown as his son's, which help ground her.
Whatever happened with Jasper and the woman was going to have to take a backseat right now.
“Jasper was in a car accident last night.” She said softly, gripping his hands tightly.
“He is medically deceased, but they're keeping his heart beating until everyone has a chance to say goodbye.” Whatever Cecil had expected, she knew it wasn't that, and she felt his grip on her hands slacken and watched as the blood drained away from his face.
“Oh,” was all he managed before he completely broke down.
Danica slipped out of her chair and knelt beside his, hugging him as he turned and cried on her shoulder.
They were only in that position for a few seconds when the whistle on the kettle went off, and she reluctantly let him go to get to her feet and take it off the burner.
By the time she turned back around, Cecil had turned off his tears like a tap and was staring at the tabletop like he hoped it would give him answers.
“How long do...” He shook his head helplessly. “Do we have to say goodbye?”
Danica hesitated as she sat back down and took his hand again, not sure what to say.
The doctor said there was no timeline, and Alex insisted she do this within her timeframe, but she didn't want to drag this out.
Jasper's family was huge, spread all over New England and would all expect to be allowed to see him in the hospital, even the ones who hadn't seen or spoken to him since he and Danica had gotten married, not because of any falling outs, just because of life taking different directions.
They were very much the type of family that came together for weddings and funerals and shared others' grief and joy as if it were their own.
“A week at the most,” she decided after some very quick soul-searching.
She didn't think she could handle having to meet and greet everyone any longer than that while planning a wake and a funeral and trying to navigate between her grief and the sense of betrayal she was currently pushing down.
Cecil nodded and took a deep breath, glanced down the hall through the kitchen archway, and then looked back at her.
“You should probably go home and get some rest.” He patted her hand gently as he stood up. “No offence, but you like hell warmed over.”
Danica looked at him in surprise. “I should be here when you tell Amy,” she said quietly. “I should be the one to tell her.” But Cecil shook his head, giving her a wan smile.
“No. You don't need to witness that.” He said firmly, looking down the hallway again as he took her hand and tugged her up from the chair.
“Trust me, Danica, it's better if it comes from me and me alone,” he began, ushering her toward the door before she could protest, her surprise at his sudden change in demeanour rendering her speechless.
She felt like there was more to him wanting her to leave then just sparing her the sight of Amy's reaction and she couldn't help the wave of hurt that washed over her, feeling like she was being symbolically pushed out of the family and not allowed to be part of the grief and healing process.
“Just go home and get some rest. I'll be in touch with you tomorrow to start arranging visitors.” He gave her a quick, tight hug at the door before opening it.
Danica stepped outside and saw Alex's Jeep parked down the street again.
Feeling more than a little relieved, she turned back to Cecil just in time for him to close the door.
She stood frozen for a moment before the porch light shut off, and then carefully made her way down the stairs and toward the Jeep.
She had just gotten to the end of the driveway when the most anguished scream she'd ever heard in her entire life reached her, and she understood immediately why Cecil had wanted her to leave so abruptly.
He must have heard something that alerted him to the fact that his wife was awake and ushered her out so he could tell her privately.
She started to turn back to the house, wanting to help, but the screams of “No!” continued, and when the next-door neighbours' lights flicked on, she hurried to the safety of the Jeep, trusting Cecil could handle it and would be in touch if he needed her.