Page 8 of Agony of Our Regret (Sorcerer’s Society #11)

EIGHT

Luca tensed next to me as his arm wrapped protectively around my back.

“Noah.”

He moved us toward him, but Noah didn’t move. He didn’t take his eyes off me.

What had he seen?

He blinked a few times, then glanced around the room.

Why wasn’t he saying anything?

No hug? Not even a hello?

“Noah?” I lifted my hand, but he shook his head. His curls fell into his face. He shoved them back and rubbed his forehead.

“Where’s Sky?”

Gavin strode over and immediately hugged his friend.

“What the hell? We haven’t seen you in years, but you’re looking for the one person you’ve been with for the past few months?”

Noah patted Gavin’s back and then stepped away. “Sorry. I...” He glanced at me again. “We need to talk.”

“With Ave?” Luca asked.

“No, all of us.” He finally spotted Sky and called out, “Hey, Skyler!”

Sky turned from Aaron and held up a finger. He finished what he was saying and hugged Aaron before heading back. “Yeah?”

“When is Vince getting here?” Noah asked.

I nearly gasped, but Luca’s question covered it. “He’s coming?”

“Yeah.” Sky pulled out his phone. “He said he’d be here by seven.”

“Geez, can’t a guy be three minutes late without everyone freaking out?” Vince’s deep voice reached us before he turned the corner and slapped his hands down on Noah and Sky’s shoulders. “Looks like the gang’s back together.”

Were we?

This wasn’t real.It was a surreal dream.

Maybe a nightmare?

How were the six of us standing in Luca’s parents’ house, smiling and chatting as if it hadn’t been half a decade since this last happened?

Why was Vince acting like…himself?

Noah was off, suspicious, which wasn’t unusual.But the way he was watching me put me on edge. What had he seen? Me pregnant? The baby? A future with me and a child? Shit.

Skyler grinned and waved, not missing a beat with people he hadn’t seen in years.

Yet, it didn’t feel right.

“Can we go up to your room?” Noah asked.

“It’s a guest room now, but sure.” Luca led the way to the stairs, and we followed in silence until Gavin shut the door behind us.

“So, this is wild,” Sky chuckled, as he looked at each of us. “Feels like forever, but also like no time has passed.”

“Right?” Vince smirked. “I wasn’t expecting this.”

“Like no time has passed, huh?” Gavin echoed with narrowed eyes.

“Which is why we can skip the bullshit and get to the point,” Noah barked. “They lied to us.”

He didn’t need to clarify who “they” or “us” were, especially since I accidentally managed to stand between Luca and Gavin.

“What?” Vince scanned the three of us. “I thought we cleared the air, worked through things.”

They had? He had?

Why was he acting as if he’d been in touch with everyone this whole time? Like he went away for a weekend, not years?

Was all really forgiven?

I’d hoped so, but that was before the accident and before I knew how much was at stake.

Maybe the guys were all good with each other. That was what I’d desperately wanted, but I hadn’t ever expected it to happen. At least not for a few months, or years, of working through things. Likely in a therapist's office.

I was on good terms with each of them individually, but it had been a long, long time since we’d all been together. Since Cabo.

It was immature, but I thought there’d be fights. Yelling.

Not bro hugs and laughter.

Then again, Noah just accused us of lying, so perhaps I just needed to wait a minute.

“Me too.” Noah’s glare hadn’t yet reached its full potential, and I didn’t appreciate him aiming it at me.

“Lying about what?” Gavin asked.

“You tell us.” Noah tilted his chin toward me. “You guys said she was fine after the accident.”

“I am,” I argued. “My ankle is still a little tender sometimes. My ribs will take a while to heal, but all things considered, I’m doing great.”

“Then why did I have another vision of you kneeling over a toilet with those two comforting you?” He eyed Gavin and Luca.

I laughed, relieved it was something so easy to explain. “I was sick after. The doctor thought it was related to the concussion.”

“I don’t see the past, Ave,” Noah deadpanned.

Shit. Right.

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Luca jumped in. “Throwing up isn’t something to worry about.”

“Yeah, it could just be the flu season coming up.”

Noah stared them down. “Nothing else is going on?”

“I’m fine.” I prayed that wasn’t a lie. Sky said nothing, so I continued. “It could be food poisoning too.”

Vince eyed us. “You’re sure your injuries weren’t serious?”

“Yes,” I promised.

“Then why won’t Luca stop touching you?” Noah dropped his gaze to where Luca’s hand wrapped around my hip.

I hadn’t even noticed the touch. It was so familiar these days. He and Gavin were more protective, more physical, lately.

“I noticed that,” Vince agreed.

Luca chuckled. “Jealous.”

Vince cocked a brow. “Do I have something to be jealous of?” He sounded confused and turned to me. “I thought we were good.”

“There’s a difference between things being settled and amicable between all of us, and being together,” Gavin spoke before I could even think.

“What?” Sky jerked back.

“The three of you made a choice. You did what was best for you. The three of us have too.” Gavin remained stern.

Sky’s wide eyes landed on mine. “I told you I was coming back.”

I sucked in a breath, and Luca gave me a reassuring squeeze. “But not when.”

“I would never leave you, Avalon.” He used my full name. Something he rarely ever did.

“You did,” I pointed out.

“Noah needed me.”

Noah shook his head, but Sky continued.

“I stayed with him for you. For us. I didn’t want us to lose him again.”

“I was going to come home eventually, too,” Noah added.

“You stayed for months, Sky. When were you guys planning on coming back?” Gavin demanded. “If the threat hadn’t increased and the Society called for you to return, then when? Six more months? A year? Two? Ten?”

Sky and Noah exchanged a look I couldn’t interpret.

“I thought we cleared things up?” Noah finally spoke.

“Yeah, the past, but I’m talking about right now,” Gavin shot back.

“And the future,” Luca added.

Vince crossed his arms. “We’ve been back for less than a day, and we’re already fighting about what comes next. What happened to appreciating the here and now?”

It was ripped away from us over and over again. And now I couldn’t only think about my future. I had a little one to protect.

“I’m staying,” Sky declared. “It was time, and I’m ready to settle into my next chapter. I’ve been talking to my dad's and Bruce about a position within the Society.”

Everyone was silent, staring at him.

“When?” Noah’s voice was barely above a whisper.

Sky shrugged. “For the past three weeks or so. Whenever we had service.”

Noah rubbed the back of his neck. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to pressure you. I’m doing what I want and what feels right. You’re free to do the same.”

A tiny lift of Noah’s lips had my heart freeze. “Me too.”

“What?” Gavin blurted.

“I’ve been speaking to my dad's and figuring out an assignment that would suit me.”

“Within the Society?” Vince asked Noah.

“Yeah.”

Vince’s shoulders dropped. “So, you’ll all be here. Working for them ?”

“The people who have protected and supported us and our families?” Sky clarified. “Yeah.”

“They haven’t supported all of us.” Vince glared at the wall.

“Dude, it was four years ago, and even you have to admit it was a dangerous idea for you to play on a higher level,” Noah snapped. “Yes, it fucking sucked. We all agree, but you not playing was the right thing to do. Move on.”

I swear steam blew out of Vince’s nose. “I’m trying. I keep getting pulled back.”

“Maybe it's because it’s where you belong,” Sky suggested in a much gentler tone.

Vince didn’t respond.

“So, you two are here for good?” Luca looked between Noah and Sky, who both agreed. Then he glanced down at me.

Having telepathy right about now would have been amazing. I wanted to communicate with Gavin and him without the others hearing.

Their news didn’t change anything for me.I still needed time.

“Where are you planning on staying?” I asked instead.

Noah’s brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Are you going to live with your parents?”

“Um?” He turned to Sky.

“We thought...” Sky’s eyes narrowed as he trailed off. He probably expected us to jump in and suggest our place, but that wasn’t happening.

“Ave’s house is available if you guys want to stay there,” Luca offered. “Might be better than living at home after being on your own for so long.”

“Her house?” Sky repeated. “The one here?”

Here as in Arlington, not downtown.

“Yeah, the renovations look great.” Gavin grinned.

Sky pushed his hand through his hair. “I––”

“The commute isn’t too bad,” Luca interrupted. “Especially, if you guys drive together so you can use the carpool lane.”

I caught Vince smirking.

“Don’t you guys have a three-bedroom?” Sky asked.

“Yes, we do.” Luca cocked his head to the side.

“Then why can’t we––”

“I think there should be an adjustment period,” Gavin cut in. “You both need to re-acclimate to the real world. We weren’t the only ones who missed you. You both should spend time with your families. Get used to the routine of working and being functioning adults. It would be best to have your own space.”

All eyes flew to me.

This was what I wanted. It was how it had to be, even if Noah and Sky looked disappointed.

“You guys can stay there for as long as you need,” I said.

Sky stepped back, out of the unintentional circle we’d formed. Noah pushed his curls from his face.

My stomach rolled at the most unexpected and inopportune time. I fought to put my hand over it or my mouth. I tensed against Luca, and his gaze met mine with a question.

I looked at the door with wide eyes, and he cleared his throat. “What department are you guys going to be working for?”

I used his distraction and hurried out to the bathroom down the hall. I closed the door and had less than three seconds to yank up the lid of the toilet and pull my hair back before the little I ate came up.

“Ave!” Vince was behind me, gathering my hair in his hands and rubbing my back as I wrenched again.

“What’s wrong?” Noah asked with worry in his voice.

“Is she sick?” Sky joined.

I was too busy to reply.

Luca joined the audience.“She’s fine.”

I didn’t have to look over to know they were crowding the entrance. Not that I could even open my eyes. I groaned as another round started.

“Lie!” Sky barked. “She’s not.”

Gavin groaned. “It’s probably food poisoning. Maybe we set out the trays too early.”

“Lie,” Sky repeated.

Vince continued to rub my back. I flushed the toilet and blindly reached for the toilet paper to wipe my mouth.

The soft material met my fingers, and I blinked to find Noah handing me some tissues. “Thanks,” I croaked, and dabbed the corners of my lips.

Vince helped me stand and guided me to the sink.

“She’s sick,” Noah insisted. “I could tell in my vision, and now she’s super pale.”

“Because she just threw up. That happens to everyone,” Gavin argued. “Move.”

He pushed Vince out of the way and brushed back my hair, silently asking if I was okay. I gave a small nod, and he put his arm around me before making the guys move and leading us back to Luca’s old room.

“You two are being weirdly overprotective,” Sky pointed out.

I sat on the edge of the bed and stared down at the carpet, trying to gather myself. If my morning, or any time of the day because the baby didn’t care, sickness didn’t wrap up soon, I wouldn’t be able to brush it off. I couldn’t have food poisoning for days in a row without them demanding I go to a doctor.

“What’s going on?” Sky demanded.

Shit. A direct question was too hard to deflect without lying.

I squeezed Gavin’s hand.

I was stupid to think I could keep this from them. We might have been apart for a while, but they still knew me.

“Something is clearly wrong. You’re hovering over her, neither of you take your eyes off her, and she’s throwing up.” Noah stood next to Sky. “Don’t bother trying to lie.”

Gavin’s grip tightened.

Luca’s expression hardened. He wasn’t going to be the one to break.

I sighed. “Nothing’s wrong.”

Noah turned to Sky and waited, but he didn’t say anything. It wasn’t a lie. Different, sure. Unexpected, definitely. But nothing was wrong .

“There is something you’re not telling us, though,” Vince joined in.

“Yes.”

“What is it?” he asked.

“You have no right to ask that.” Luca stepped forward, slightly in front of me. “You guys made your choices. You didn’t choose her. That means you forfeit the privilege of knowing everything that’s going on in her life.”

Sky was watching me. I could feel the weight of his stare, but I wouldn’t meet it.

“Come on,” Vince pressed. “We all care about her. If something’s going on––”

“Then she gets to decide if she includes you in it,” Luca finished.

I wanted to run. Not just from the room, but from this house. The city. I wanted to be at home. I wanted the life I’d created with Luca and Gavin.

The emotional tug-of-war in my chest was exhausting and painful.

I couldn’t keep this to myself for much longer. Was it worth the battle?

But if I told them, they’d want all the answers. They’d want to know who the father was. Gavin and Luca were fine not knowing. It didn’t matter to them.

But the other three? Could they live without knowing?

Would finding out destroy us even more?

Noah and Sky were staying. They decided on their own.

Did that change things?

It didn’t have to.

I still controlled my life and relationships. They never said they were coming back for me. For us.

But they assumed they could move in with us.

What did that mean?

There was too much to figure out. More pressing issues.

But they wouldn’t let this go.

They cared about me and my well-being enough to be concerned.

Did that mean anything?

No, anyone with a heart would ask if they thought someone was sick.

My head was going to explode.

“Ave?” Noah’s voice was soft.

I couldn’t meet his eyes.

I didn’t know what to do.

I’d wished for this exact moment, all of us together again, for years. Now it was here, and I wanted to disappear.