Page 3 of Agony of Our Regret (Sorcerer’s Society #11)

THREE

We finally decided on the Santa Fe location, and the second Beth ended the meeting, I was up and out the door.

Tessa or Wes wouldn’t chase me down the halls screaming for me to stop—probably—but I wouldn’t give them a chance to pull me aside.

Instead, I crossed the floor, looking for Luca or Gavin. Neither of them had their own office, and this wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have in range of other ears.

I caught sight of Gavin’s mussed brown locks and hurried over as fast as I could without drawing attention.

“Hey” I fought to keep a smile on my lips. “Do you have a second?”

“Sure.” He glanced up at me from his keyboard and hesitated. I probably didn’t appear as calm as I thought.

He locked his computer and stood, putting his hand on my back as I continued down the row of cubicles.

“Do you know where Luca is?”

“I haven’t seen him in a few hours. He might be in meetings.”

I nodded and changed directions. My office was the first place anyone would look for us, but we needed privacy. “Can you text him to meet us?”

Gavin shut the door as I sat at my desk with a huff. He eyed me with a lifted brow before pulling out his phone and typing quickly.

“He’ll be here in a minute,” he said before taking a seat. “What’s going on?”

Since we had a moment by ourselves, I tackled one thing at a time. “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have shut down on you and walked away.”

I only went to our bedroom, but the point I made was clear. I wanted to be alone.

“And I should have told you guys sooner.” He ran his hand down his cheek. “Or not said anything in the first place. It’s still hard to know the right thing to do.”

“Luca and I had lunch earlier. He helped me realize you were right.”

“He did?” He leaned back. “I wasn’t sure he agreed.”

“You did what was best for Vince, long term.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “You thought about his future and what might happen to him if he let his control slip. His strength is an asset as much as a danger. He wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if he hurt someone, and you prevented that.”

Gavin slowly nodded. “He still hasn’t spoken to me since I told him.”

The door opened. Luca peered in and smiled before stepping inside and closing it again.

“Luca talked to him,” Gavin continued. “Hopefully, eventually, he’ll see things from my perspective and know I didn’t do it to be malicious.”

Luca scoffed as he sat. “That would take Vince maturing, and I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”

I didn’t want to think about him right now. Even though I believed now that Gavin did the right thing, I couldn’t stop thinking about what might have been—even though I needed to.

“What’s up?” Luca crossed his ankle over his knee.

“I was in the school planning meeting,” I began. “And started to feel sick. I ran for the bathroom.”

Gavin cringed. “Didn’t make it?”

“No. I mean, I did,” I said, nearly laughing. “That would be a different emergency call.”

“Are you still feeling sick?” Luca asked.

“No, but I lost my lunch.” My nose crinkled.

“I’m sorry, love. Are you hungry?” Luca moved. “Do you want me to go grab you something else?”

“No,” I hurried and waved him off. “That’s not what I wanted to tell you.” If I called them together every time I threw up, none of us would get work done. “Wes was waiting for me outside the restroom. He wanted to check on me since he noticed it wasn’t the first time I’ve run out of our meetings since the accident.”

Gavin shifted. “What did he say?”

“I tried to say I was nauseated from the concussion, but then he got more concerned and said that wasn’t normal. He said I should go to the doctor. Then it was like it clicked or something. He looked at me like he knew, and I just broke.” Remembering made me teary all over again. Damned hormones!

“So, he knows?” Luca guessed.

“Well, I was crying, and he hugged me. Then Chris appeared out of nowhere. Wes tried to cover and say I just needed to go home and rest, and Chris offered to drive me home.” I sniffed and tried to ignore that I was crying again. “It was so nice. He was willing to take care of me—even though Sky and I aren’t even together right now.”

“He still cares about you. All our parents do.” Gavin rounded the desk and pulled me into his arms. “That shouldn’t surprise you.”

“Well, it did.” I pulled back, trying not to smear mascara on his shirt. “He even offered to take me to the hospital to get checked out.”

Luca joined us, leaning against my desk and rubbing my shoulder. “That was really nice.”

I nodded. “It was.”

“Then what?” Gavin urged.

“Your mom found us. She came looking for me and thought maybe I was in pain or something. Then she and Wes did this weird telepathy thing. She pointed out that I’d been sick a lot lately, and I swear she looked at my stomach. I panicked and told them I was fine and ran back to the meeting. The second it was over, I found you guys.”

“Well, that’s not suspicious at all,” Luca chuckled.

“Yeah, way to play it cool,” Gavin teased, and I glared at both of them.

“I’d like to see you guys do better.”

“So your mom and Wes might know,” Luca concluded. “How long until all the parents do?”

“A day?” Gavin guessed.

I shook my head. “They wouldn’t tell people unless they knew for sure, right?”

Gavin shrugged. “Maybe if you hadn’t been crying and acting like you were hiding something. They might not say you’re pregnant, but they’ll likely mention you acting off. Maybe ask if anyone else has noticed anything.”

The last thing I wanted was all of them talking about me, gossiping and theorizing.

“We could tell them,” Luca suggested, and I flinched.

“Absolutely not.”

“Why?” Gavin pressed.

“Because they’ll tell their sons.”

Luca dropped his head back.

“They should know.” Gavin squeezed my shoulder then pulled me in for a hug as I shook my head.

“I don’t want them coming back because they feel like they have to.”

“We know,” Luca chided. “You’ve made that clear.”

I leaned away from Gavin so I could look at both of them. “I thought you agreed.”

“Would you rather they hear it from us or their parents?” Gavin asked.

I cringed. Neither, ideally.

“Have you accepted this yet?” Luca asked.

His question caught me off guard.

“What?”

“The fact that you’re pregnant. That we’re having a baby.”

I rubbed my nose. “The morning sickness is hard to ignore.”

He tilted his head. “You haven’t talked about it. Only when one of us brings it up.”

I shrugged.

“Do you want to have this baby?” Gavin asked.

“Yes.”

My answer didn’t sound confident at all.

“Do you?” Luca put his hand on my knee.

I sighed and dropped my head back against my chair. “I’m not necessarily looking forward to the rest of pregnancy or the labor part. I’m not sure how to be a mom or what that will look like. I’ve never even been around babies before. I don’t have the first clue about what to do, but I’ve always wanted kids. I just didn’t think it would happen so soon.”

“That didn’t answer our question,” Luca said gently.

Was it even an option at this point? I hadn’t looked into the laws about termination because it never crossed my mind. That meant something, right?

“I’m still adjusting to it being real, but not having the baby has never been an option I considered. As long as I have you two, I can do this.” As soon as the words were out, I knew in my heart they were right.

“You’ll never be alone.” Gavin lowered to his knees in front of me. “I swear that to you.”

Luca took my hand. “He’s right. We will take care of the two of you.”

I smiled, trying to ignore the tears threatening to reappear. “I love you both so much.”

“I lov––”

A knock sounded, and before I could call for whoever it was to give me a second, the door opened. The parental squad stepped in, Tessa, Daniel, Wes, Chris, and Renae.

“Mom?” Luca stood, blocking me. “I didn’t know you were in the office today.”

“I had a meeting with Tessa this afternoon. I was on my way to her office when I caught them all storming this direction and waved me to join.” She leaned over slightly and waved at me. “Hi, Avalon.”

“Hi.” I gave her a small smile.

She glanced around, clearly confused.

“Do you have anything you want to share with us?” Tessa asked.

Gavin narrowed his eyes and stood. “No.”

Watching him stand up to his parents was something entirely new, probably because it had never been necessary.

“We know there’s something going on.” Wes’s voice remained calm.

“ If that’s true,” Luca paused, “we’ll let you know if and when we need to.”

Chris cocked his head, looking as confused as Renae. “What is this all about?” he asked Wes.

“Clearly, there was a miscommunication.” Daniel stepped back toward the door. “You two made it seem like something terrible happened, and the kids needed help.”

Wes sighed. “Just tell me if my son is involved.”

A laugh burst from me before I even realized it was going to happen. All eyes swung to me as I continued to lose it with a room full of witnesses.

“Ave?” Gavin’s brows drew tight as he faced me.

I waved him off. At least I wasn’t crying this time.

“I don’t know,” I told Wes.

His eyes dropped.

“What’s Noah got to do with anything? He’s been gone for years.” Chris looked at Gavin and then at me.

That was an excellent question, and his blunt reminder didn’t help the nervous laughing.

“She went to visit him with Sky,” Wes reminded him. “Then Sky stayed.”

Chris began nodding. “Right, a few months back.”

Renae tilted her head, looking at Luca. “What’s going on, dear?”

“Nothing,” Gavin ground out.

“If they don’t want to tell us, they don’t have to,” Daniel tried again.

“You’ve been sick, running out of meetings,” Wes repeated.

“She was in an accident,” Renae reminded him, as if any of them had forgotten.

Tessa sidestepped and locked in on me. “If you have nothing to tell us, we’ll drop it.”

Thank heaven for that.

“She’s right. I shouldn’t have pressed. I’m sorry, Avalon.” Wes ducked his head. “We were worried about you, but if there’s nothing…”

Suddenly, the need to get the secret out was more than I could control. Maybe it was seeing them all here, full of love and concern for us. Maybe it was being sick of keeping it quiet. The words poured out before I could stop them. “I’m pregnant.”

Luca’s eyes widened.

“Ave,” Gavin whispered.

I shrugged. “I can’t hide it forever.”

“What?” Daniel looked from his wife to me to his son, then back to Tessa. “You knew?”

“Wes and I guessed.” Tessa bit her lip and came forward. “Avalon, I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have pushed you to tell us before you were ready.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Gavin scolded.

I didn’t care. We couldn’t deny the truth for much longer.

“It’s okay. I needed time to process, and we haven’t discussed when we would tell everyone else.”

Wes shook his head. “And we bulldozed in here. I’m sorry. I got excited.”

“It’s okay.” I stood and reached out to put my hand on his arm. “It means a lot that you care enough to notice I’ve been sick. You came to check on me, and that was really nice.”

He smiled. “No matter what the situation is between you and Noah, you’ll always be family. I’m thrilled for you.”

“Thank you.”

“Wait.” Chris grinned. “He asked about Noah, but you don’t know. Does that mean it’s a possibility it might be Sky’s?”

Fuck.

This wasn’t something I wanted to discuss with all the parents.

“We don’t know who the father is,” Luca said firmly.

“And we won’t be finding out,” Gavin added. “Especially not before the baby is born.”

“Do they know?” Wes asked.

I shook my head. “No, and I’m not planning on telling them.”

“What?” Chris shook his head. “But if there’s a chance––”

“He’s not here.” I locked eyes with each of them. “I don’t want any of them coming back because they think there’s a chance this is their baby. I want them to come home because it’s where they want to be.”

Wes began to protest, but Luca cut him off. “This is her decision. It’s only up to her.”

“They should know,” Wes tried.

My shoulders fell. “They made their choice, and it wasn’t to be with me. Luca, Gavin, and I intend to raise the baby ourselves. Paternity doesn’t matter to us.”

“It does if it’s Sky’s or Noah’s.” Chris’s voice was gentle. “I understand what you’re saying, but not telling them isn’t right.”

I sucked in a breath. “Maybe not, but I can’t bear the thought of them coming back only to see if the baby is theirs.” My voice broke, but I pushed through. “Please try to understand what I’ve been through. What we’ve all been through. They made their choices. They have their own lives, and right now, being here isn’t what they want. I don’t want them here under a false sense of obligation. I refuse to force them into a role or life they don’t want. Maybe if I was alone, my feelings would be different, but Luca and Gavin are here. The three of us are doing this together.”

Wes rubbed the back of his neck. “It might be what finally brings him home.”

I closed my eyes. Seeing his pain, how much he missed his son was too much.

Then it all clicked. That was why he pressed.

He wanted to check on me, but if there was even a slim chance of this being Noah’s child, it would be a reason for him to come back. Not just to me, but to his family.

“I’m sorry, Wes.”

He gave me a sad smile. “I understand. As much as the family and I want him to come home, you’re right that it needs to be on his terms. He won’t be happy in the long run if it isn’t.”

I let out a breath as a boulder lifted from my chest.

Chris stepped up to our side. “We’re happy for you guys. No matter what happens, you three will always be family.”

He nodded to Gavin and Luca before squeezing my shoulder and leaving with Wes behind him.

Once the door shut, Tessa threw her arms around me. “I can’t believe it.”

“Mom, you were the one who figured it out,” Gavin pointed out.

She pulled back and stared down at my stomach. “I had a hunch. Wes picking up on it too may have gotten me a little too excited.” She frowned. “I shouldn’t have pushed you to tell us. I’m sorry.”

How could I hold a grudge when they were coming from a place of love and concern? I had more support than I realized, and there would likely come a time when I needed them.