Page 4 of Agony of Our Regret (Sorcerer’s Society #11)

FOUR

Two days passed with no one mentioning anything pregnancy-related to me at the office. The hope I had that we’d settle into a new normal grew, especially when Daniel called me into his office to ask me to partner with Gwen on a new project.

Since I was already on the school committee, he wanted us to help relocate the teens who would attend, acting as the main contacts to help them plan, pack, and get any information they needed.

“Would you prefer them to text or email?” Gwen asked from across the table in a small conference room.

“Is there a way to say only text with an emergency?” As much as I wanted to be available to the students, they shouldn’t expect us to answer immediately in the middle of the night.

This new assignment was the perfect distraction, not too time consuming and providing immediate impact I could see. Working at headquarters felt too distant most of the time. Issues from our Council’s area would come in. We’d meet, discuss, and come up with potential solutions to send back to the members. We met only once a month outside the office to hear from people directly.

Planning the schools rebuild was all remote as well. Neither of us would travel to New Mexico. The local team reported back to us, and if anything needed more attention, Bruce or Daniel would go.

“So far, they’ve stuck to emails, so we can continue that. Maybe as the time for them to leave gets closer, we can offer them our numbers for more urgent matters,” she suggested.

I nodded. “That’s two months for us to put together a FAQ sheet and other resources. They would only need to text or call for emergencies.”

“Hopefully.” She smirked as she typed.

We wrote the content for a student web portal with all the information they needed and a way for them to meet and communicate with other students before school started.

The few teens I’d spoken with already made me feel both old and young. I could relate to them since I wasn’t that far removed from the exact thing they faced, but at the same time, they treated me like an authority figure. Like an adult.

At twenty-one, I technically was. It just didn’t feel like it. Even now that I was pregnant.

But internalizing that fact was a struggle.

“You know, depending on how this goes, it might become a standard even when the threat from the AS is over.” Gwen peered over her laptop. “We could be a part of the establishment of the first Society academy.”

I hadn’t thought much beyond the immediate need. Or, more correctly, I didn’t think beyond the existing threat. I wanted a more permanent solution for the students so they didn’t have to endure what we did, but if this was successful, I didn’t see why it would ever close.

“You’re right. It could be the equivalent of Drexel for our people.”

She grinned. “Maybe we can convince them to name the auditorium or gym after us.”

I lifted a brow. “Is that actually something you want?”

She shrugged. “It wasn’t until now.”

“I’m sure we could manage something.” I giggled and checked our shared email account for the project. No new messages. We could be done and head back to our offices, but time alone was scarce despite working in the same building. “I need to tell you something.”

I mentioned to Gavin and Luca that I wanted to tell her, and they supported me. Now that their parents knew, news was bound to spread, and I wanted her to hear it from me.

“Oh, something juicy?” She closed her laptop and rested her chin on her hands, leaning toward me.

“I’m pregnant,” I blurted without preamble.

She stared back at me for a moment before jumping up and squealing while rounding the table to pull me into a hug. “No way! I’m so happy for you!”

I squeezed her for a little too long before releasing her and falling back into my seat.

Her shoulders shimmied as she scooted another chair closer. “Tell me everything.”

I did—from finding out in the hospital to the parents figuring it out and trapping us in my office.

“They did not! That’s not okay. You can’t force someone to tell you anything before they’re ready.”

I appreciated her outrage. “It wasn’t okay, but I understood. Wes thought it might be the thing to bring Noah home.”

She slowly inhaled and finally nodded. “Yeah, I can see how that might drive him to push more than he should have, but still.”

“It’s not like I could keep it from them for much longer.”

She rolled her eyes. “They should have waited even if they had a hunch.”

“I’d be upset if I didn’t know they came from a good place. I think Tessa was suspicious but also worried it was something else. Chris thought something was still wrong from the accident.”

She rocked her head from side to side. “I could see that.”

“I do feel bad they know, and my dad doesn’t.”

She cringed. “How do you think he’ll take it?”

“I’m not sure. I can’t picture it.” I tried not to think about it too much either. “I’m sure he’s not expecting the news, but I’m an adult and have an incredible support system.”

“That you do.” She beamed. “This is going to be the most loved baby in the world.”

I put my hand over my stomach. “That’s for sure.”

“Plus, you have a great job and multiple homes. Providing for it isn’t an issue.”

“We need another word besides it.” I scrunched my nose.

She let out a laugh. “Sorry. Do you know what you’re having?”

“Not yet.”

She seemed to think. “Do you have an app that tells you what fruit the baby is this week?”

I laughed. “No. Is that a real thing?”

“Sure is.” She reached for my phone, tapped away, and glanced up a minute later. “What week are you at?”

“I think twelve, maybe thirteen.” I needed to get into an OB soon now that I was mostly recovered.

“Looks like baby is...between a lime and lemon. You have a little Sprite in you.” She giggled.

“I’m not calling my baby a soda.”

She handed my phone back. “Then I’ll say lemon until you guys find out.”

Lemon was better than it , so I accepted and stared down at my hands. A teeny baby was in there. I was still not quite sure how to wrap my head around that.

“And you’re positive about not telling the others about Lemon?”

I nodded. “I’m sure.”

“Okay.”

I wanted to hug her for accepting my decision.

“Have they checked on you since the accident?”

“Just through text. Sky said they were heading for a remote part of Indonesia. They can’t video call.”

“That’s lucky. You’re going to have to be careful not to lie when you talk to him.”

I slumped. “I know.”

“What about Vince?”

I glanced at her before looking out toward the office. “Nothing’s changed. He checked in last night but only asked how I am. He doesn’t go any deeper. I know Gavin’s admission rocked things.”

Since I’d already told her about Gavin and Vince, I didn’t have to dump that on her along with my announcement.

“Yeah, that must have been a blow. Opening a barely healed wound.”

“At least everything is out now. No more secrets.”

She eyed my stomach.

“No secrets between the guys,” I corrected. “They’ve cleared the air, and that was important for them. And me.”

Coming back had always been up to Noah, Vince, and Sky, but I knew it couldn’t happen without Luca and Gavin repairing their relationships, opening the door to work through all their grievances.

My cell rang. Sky’s face appeared on the screen. “They’re calling.”

Gwen leaned over and cringed. “They must have sensed we were talking about them.”

“They’re twelve hours ahead. Why are they calling in the middle of the night?” Worry began to grow.

“I’ll let you find out.” She stood and left me alone in the room.

I answered and held up my phone as he and Noah filled the screen.

Seeing them smiling back instantly relieved me. “Hi, guys.”

“Hey! We just got to Bali. The hotel has Wi-Fi, so we’re checking in,” Sky explained.

“You just got there? Why so late?”

Noah laughed. “It’s a long, complicated story involving several modes of transportation and two elephants on the run.”

I grinned. “Sounds like quite the adventure.”

“It was.” Sky sighed and nudged Noah over. “I miss you, Sweets.”

Those words alone made me tear up. Pregnancy hormones threatened to take over, so I pulled myself together. “I miss you too. Both of you.”

Noah came back into view. “There’s one place in Thailand I really want to show him. Then I think––”

“Are you okay?” Sky cut him off.

I shook my head, confused. “Yes?”

Was Noah about to say they were going to come back soon? Or did he have somewhere else he wanted to go after?

“You look a little pale.”

I took a quick inventory of my body. I hadn’t had much nausea today and was feeling fine at the moment. “Maybe it’s the lighting. I’m in a conference room in the office.”

He nodded, but didn’t look convinced. “You’re all healed from the accident?”

“Yeah. My ribs are a little sore, but for the most part, I’m okay.”

He frowned. “I’m so sorry.”

I debated telling them about the guys’ theory that the AS was involved, but held off since I had nothing official to share.

“Hey.” Luca pushed through the door with a wide smile. “Gwen said you guys called.”

“Oh, hi, Luca,” Noah said, sounding more enthusiastic than normal.

Luca looked me over like he was searching for something. I just smiled and looked back at the phone. “So, what did you guys do?”

“Lots of hiking and snorkeling.” Sky glanced at Noah and laughed at something we couldn’t hear.

Both had tans and were obviously happy. Seeing the closeness they once shared restored was wonderful. I just wished I was a part of it, instead of observing it from the other side of the world.

“Sounds fun.” Luca grinned. “Keep a running list of the places we’ll need to visit.”

I reached out and squeezed his hand. Talking about our future together was a balm to my soul.

“Definitely.” Sky nudged Noah. “You should see how long the note on his phone is.”

Noah didn’t respond. We all went quiet when we realized what was happening.

“Hang on.” Sky watched him.

A few seconds later, Noah blinked rapidly with a frown. “Sorry, I didn’t get much warning before that one hit.”

“I thought you could control them?” I asked.

“Most of the time, I can, but when I’m focused on other things, they can sneak in.”

“You’re distracting him,” Sky teased me.

Noah nodded, then focused on us. “Is there anything we need to know?”

I tightened my grip on Luca’s hand. What had he seen?

I couldn’t say no. Sky might sense it was a lie, even if I believed they didn’t need to know.

“Why would you say that?” Luca was quicker than I was.

Noah’s eyes shifted beyond the camera for a moment. “I saw Ave sick. She was holding her stomach, and it looked like she was throwing up.”

Relief washed over me, and I waved off his concern. “I’m sure it’s just the flu or something.”

Sky leaned in. “Are you sure you’re not sick?”

“Yes. I’m sure,” I said confidently.

Sky just stared back.

“She’ll be fine,” Luca promised. “If she gets sick, Gavin and I will take care of her.”

Noah relaxed. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Sky wasn’t as convinced. “You’d tell us, though, if something was wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” I prayed that was true.

He didn’t call me out for lying, but his eyes stayed narrow and suspicious.

The door swung open, and I glanced over my shoulder and waved Gavin over.

“Hey, guys.” He waved as he bent down next to me.

“Did Gwen forget about you?” Noah teased.

“She tried to tell me, but I was in a meeting. I had to wait. I’m glad I caught you though.”

“It’s been like nine days. You miss me that much?” Sky blew him kisses.

Gavin rolled his eyes but smiled. “I do. You promised me Cubs’ dates this summer.”

Sky groaned. “Aw man. They’re having such a good year too.”

“Hurry back, and we can catch the end of it. They might even make it to the postseason.”

“Yeah…” Sky trailed off and glanced at Noah.

Their unspoken conversation buzzed in the air while Gavin checked in with me. He lifted a brow and glanced at my stomach. I shook my head just a few inches and focused back on the screen as Sky finished his story about a street food vendor.

Talking and hanging out—even over video chat—felt so normal and close to exactly what I wanted: having four of my guys chatting and laughing, all together.

How was it possible something that made you happy could also be so painful?

It was a tease, a taste of what could be but would likely never happen.

I fought to keep a smile in place, sitting back and soaking them in until Noah yawned for the fifteenth time and Sky admitted they were exhausted.

“We’ll talk soon.” Sky waved and hung up.

Gavin immediately faced me. “I’m not sure how you’re going to pull this off.”

Me? Not us?

“You look the same now, but that won’t last forever.”

“I know.”

He hung his head. “I feel guilty.”

“This is Avalon’s decision. No one else's,” Luca jumped in.

“It still feels too early.” It was an excuse, but I’d cling to it.

“You’re past twelve weeks. That’s out of the danger zone,” Gavin retorted.

“I’m not ready.” That was it. It wasn’t right or wrong. It wasn’t an excuse. It was how I felt.

Gavin sighed. “Okay.”

Luca stood and helped me stand before pulling me in for a hug. “One day at a time.”

I nodded against his shoulder and pushed down the longing for my two missing pieces.