Page 1 of Agony of Our Regret (Sorcerer’s Society #11)

ONE

I bent over, fighting back a wince as I tried and failed once again to buckle the strap of my heeled shoe.Light from the floor to ceiling windows overlooking the Chicago morning seemed to mock me with its clear blue skies, all pleasant and cheery.

“Five minutes, babe,” Luca called from somewhere in the apartment.

Five minutes. I mimicked silently. He’d been counting down from the half-hour mark like I’d never managed my time before. Like I'd never gone to an office before. Like I’d never stepped out of this forsaken bedroom before.

Okay. I was a tad on edge.

But his constant reminders grated on my nerves and if I had to stare at these same four gray walls for another day I was going to flip. I appreciated the clean, sleek, modern design of Luca and Gavin’s condo when I first moved in, but now it felt boring and stale.

It was my first day going back to work after taking two weeks to recover from being hit by a stupid car. I’d kept up with my tasks and meetings remotely and finally convinced everyone including Luca and Gavin, their parents, and the rest of our local council that I was fine enough to come back in.

Tessa banned me.

She literally gave the building’s security team my name and badge number. If I attempted to come back early, they would stop me, and my very own team of mother hens would descend and shoo me back to the coop.

Gavin and Luca alternated staying home with me for the first week. Then I told them to go back. I was sore and bruised, but fine. My ability might not have protected me from all injuries, but it kept them from being serious.

Without exposure.

I was quite proud of that.

The Society checked all CCTV angles they could find, and not one showed even a glimmer, not a single little sparkle, coming off me.

I knew I was good, but now everyone else did too.

I gave up on my heels and opted for a pair of slip-on flats.

“Ready?” Gavin appeared in the doorway looking as put together as ever with a fitted shirt tucked into slim tan slacks and his glasses not hiding his amusement. His brown hair was perfectly styled, parted, and combed, and if I could move faster than a weak hobble, I’d mess it up and run.

At least he was prepared with an offering of a bottle of water in one hand and a folded napkin in the other. Lately, the only thing I could keep down in the mornings was a handful of plain crackers.

The morning sickness was why I didn’t fight too much about not going into the office. Finding out I was pregnant seemed to unleash all the symptoms I hadn’t noticed before.

The day after the accident was the first time I got queasy, and no one could convince me it wasn’t because I suddenly knew I was pregnant.

And throwing up constantly with bruised ribs was a kind of pain and misery I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

“Yeah,” I finally replied, as I picked up my phone off the charger and noted the lack of notifications.

He kissed my cheek and handed me the little breakfast as we entered the living room.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Luca asked for the fifth time today.He too was annoyingly handsome in his custom navy suit. His short blond hair wouldn’t dare be out of place and I wanted to run my fingers through it. They were both too perfect while I felt like a mess held together with tape.

It was difficult enough getting dressed and ready with bruised ribs, but I managed to not look as bad as I felt. The least they could do was have a few wrinkles or mismatched socks to come down to my level.

“Positive,” I assured him after swallowing my first bite. I needed to eat slowly. That was the key to keeping it down.

We went to the elevator together, and I leaned against the wall as it lowered us to the lobby. I nibbled a bit on the crust and watched the two of them.

Something was off.

I’d noticed since I got home from the hospital, but brushed it off as their worry over the accident, the baby, and me.

But they hadn’t settled even as I got better. They were hiding something from me, and I was over waiting patiently for one of them to crack.

“Everything okay?” I asked, taking the lid off my water.

“Yup.” Luca shot me a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

I lifted a brow. “Lie.”

“Okay, Sky.” He huffed a laugh.

“I don’t need an ability to know that wasn’t the truth.”

He took my crumpled napkin and shoved it in his pocket so he could take my hand. “Let’s just try to get through today, love.”

I narrowed my eyes and glanced at Gavin, who stared at the floor and looked more than a little relieved when the doors opened, and he was free to hurry out.

“Tonight?” I tugged on Luca’s elbow when he tried to leave, and he sighed.

“Yeah, tonight.”

Great. The unshared news was going to hang over me all day, distracting me when I was supposed to be proving I was well enough to return to work.

“Just a heads up. Everyone will ask how you’re doing or feeling or healing.”

Luca led us outside where Gavin was standing next to a taxi. Our destination was only a few blocks away.

“We can walk,” I said.

“Just give me this,” Gavin practically begged.

I wanted to protest, but it wasn’t a battle worth fighting. They were freaked out. Even though I was basically fine, much better than I should have been, they worried. Not just about me.

Their hovering bordered on smothering, but I understood. I would allow it for a little while longer until I could prove I was back to normal—though I’d have to stop throwing up long enough to get through that argument.

I slid across the backseat, and they got in on either side of me.

“No one knows about your other news. Just the accident,” Luca continued.

“And they also know it wasn’t that bad?” I looked at the driver, emphasizing what I couldn’t say.

He nodded. “Yes.”

“Good.” I didn’t want or need extra concern. The fewer people who paid attention to me, the better. Discreetly running to the restroom twenty times a day without my coworkers gawking and checking on me was going to be hard enough.

Exhaustion took on a new meaning lately. I thought I knew tired, but I was wrong. I could barely keep my eyes open in the elevator as it rose to our floor.

“I knew it was too soon.” Luca rubbed my shoulder as I rested my head against his chest.

“I’m fine,” I said through a yawn.

“Maybe you should do half days for now or every other day in the office,” Gavin suggested.

“I was fine until we left. It’s like my body knows it's close to bed and is shutting down.”

Luca chuckled and guided me down the white tiled hall to our door. “Then let’s get you there.”

I leaned into him while Gavin used his key to let us in. I saw the sofa and changed my goal. “I just want to lie down there.”

“Are you sure?” Luca asked, but I was already halfway across the room.

I should probably change into something more comfortable, but the promise of being horizontal was too tempting. I flopped down and let out a sigh.

“She’s sure,” Gavin teased.

He took my ankle and pulled off my shoe before going for the next one.

Luca sat on the edge of the opposite chair. “What do you need? Are you hungry?”

I put my hand over my stomach. I usually felt better in the evenings and could eat a full meal, but I wasn’t hungry yet.

“Not really.” I shrugged and then pinned him with a look. “Are you going to end my misery now and tell me what’s going on?”

He cracked a smile. “That was eating at you all day.”

I nodded. “It was rude.”

“I’m sorry.” He sounded genuinely remorseful. “I hate that too, but I didn’t want to distract you from work.”

“Well, you did.”

He lowered his chin and shot a look at Gavin, who pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What is it?” I sat up a bit, and Gavin sat at my feet.

Neither of them spoke.

“Did something happen?”

The longer they stared at each other, the more my stomach tightened.

“What?” I insisted.

“We never talked about what happened when we reached out to the guys,” Luca began.

“Because it was personal.” I looked at each of them. “You didn’t need to tell me. Then...”

I didn’t need to remind them what happened a few days later. “We decided we don’t need them. The three of us are together, and that’s what matters.”

I decided on that in the hospital after we found out about the pregnancy. We were going to do this, just us. The last thing I wanted was for Noah, Sky, and Vince to feel like I trapped them. They could decide whether they wanted to be a part of our relationship again on their own. I refused to sway them.

“That was before,” Gavin protested, but I silenced him with a glare.

“I’m not telling them.”

“You can’t hide it forever,” Luca pressed. “Sky and Noah still call. They’re going to notice a change.”

Unfortunately, he was right. They’d video-called a handful of times since the accident. I assured them I was fine. My ability sheltered me from what could have been terrible, if not deadly. But I didn’t tell them about the baby.

Coming back needed to be their choice. They had to want to be here. They had to want this. Me.

I couldn’t handle always wondering if they were with me out of duty or a sense of responsibility for the baby.

I didn’t want to do a paternity test. It didn’t matter who the father was, not to me or Gavin or Luca. The baby was ours. Period.

“We can’t lie,” Gavin reminded me.

“I’m aware.” I turned onto my back and stared at the ceiling.

“Noah and Sky replied to me separately. Noah owned up to the mistakes he’s made. He realized how selfish he’s been, not only about you and the rest of us but toward his family. He wanted answers, but that turned into running from real life.” Luca paused, and I caught him eyeing Gavin with another undecipherable look.

“Yeah, we’ve cleared things up too,” Gavin agreed. “I had to admit some things to Sky to clear the air, but we’re good now.”

I propped myself up on my elbow. “Admit what?” He hadn’t mentioned there being any problems between them.

“He called me out for pulling away and creating distance between us, and he was right.” He looked down at his clasped hands. “It got to be too hard to talk to him without lying, so I just stopped.”

“What did you have to lie about?” My heart began to race. Did I want to know?

“Something I hadn’t told anyone.” His eyes flashed to mine before dropping again. “Something I had to talk to Vince about too.”

I couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. Everything about this felt wrong. “What?”

“I’m the reason the Society knew about Vince’s scholarship. I’m the reason they got involved and told him he couldn’t take it.”

I blinked. That didn’t make sense.

Luca squeezed my feet, and I looked at him.

“I don’t understand.”

“The Society has been pretty busy. They were keeping tabs on us, but as long as we were safe, they didn’t care,” he began, but Gavin jumped in.

“Vince told me he got the scholarship to play football, and I had a horrible feeling. He was so excited, but wouldn’t listen when I reminded him of the risks, not only to himself and the Society but to his teammates and opponents.” He sighed. “He wouldn’t listen, so I told the Council. That’s when they stepped in and stopped it.”

I didn’t know what to say.

Vince could have gone to college. He could have at least had a chance, but Gavin got involved.

His best friend.

Fuck.

I couldn’t grasp that new level of betrayal.

“You did the right thing,” Luca affirmed.

I narrowed my eyes at him and snapped. “What? He prevented Vince from achieving his dream. Everything he worked so hard for.”

Gavin dropped his head into his hands.

“Ave, Vince easily could have injured if not killed someone. One slip, one mistake, one tiny lap of him losing control, and the results would have been devastating.”

I shook my head. “His control was––”

“Not perfect,” Gavin interrupted. “No amount of training could get him there. He might have been willing to take that risk, but he wasn’t thinking long term. Could you imagine the guilt he’d have to live with if he hurt someone? He could have caused life-altering damage. Do you think he would have survived killing someone?”

“You’re speaking in hypotheticals. He might not have.”

“You’re willing to take that chance?” Gavin stared me down.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. I was pissed on Vince’s behalf, but I had to think rationally. The possibility of Vince hurting someone was high. With or without his ability, he was strong. Getting caught up in the heat of a game, letting his focus slip for even a second...they were right. Vince couldn’t live with himself if he was responsible for seriously injuring someone.

“It still wasn’t your place.”

“No,” Gavin agreed, “but no one else was paying attention. Someone had to put it on their radar and make the right decision. People who could look at the situation objectively. My parents and Bruce removed themselves from the decision because they couldn’t be unbiased. The other Council members voted unanimously.”

I let out a sigh. “And you told Vince?”

“Yes,” Gavin barely whispered.

“And how did he take it?”

“Not great.”

The heartbreak in his voice made me want to get up and go to him, but I stayed put. The implications of what he’d done rolled through my mind in waves. Gavin hadn’t just gotten involved. He hid it for years.

Of all my guys, Gavin was the last one I expected to go behind someone’s back. He might have done it with good intentions, but how many lies did he tell to cover it up? He purposely put distance between himself and Sky, hurting another friend too.

“Please, Ave.” His voice broke, and I met his pained eyes. “I did what I thought was best.”

“But you lied about it.”

Where would we be if he hadn’t gotten involved? Where would Vince be? Part of me couldn’t help but wonder if we’d all be here together.

If Vince hadn’t lost the scholarship, he wouldn’t have gone off the deep end—the flap of a butterfly wing that triggered a chain of events. Maybe the six of us wouldn’t have drifted apart. I could now pinpoint the exact moment everything changed and track the ways Gavin’s choice set our destruction into motion.