Page 17 of Agony of Our Regret (Sorcerer’s Society #11)

SEVENTEEN

My request for space and to take things slowly had officially gone out the window. If I actually cared, I’d be upset the guys didn’t listen.

But my heart healed each time I entered a room with all my guys—or most of them, given their schedules—but I still relished my scraps of alone time.

I added more hot water to my bath, leaned back, and closed my eyes. This was the most relaxed I’d been in a long, long time. It only took eight weeks for me to adjust to this as my new normal. Less than six months ago, I never would have let myself imagine life could look like this.

They were back.

They weren’t leaving.

This was real.

At work, we made progress against the AS.

Bruce and the other chancellors announced two weeks ago that brighter times were on the horizon. They couldn’t go into specifics, in case the AS intercepted the message, but it was enough to encourage the Society members to keep pushing.

I attended another meeting for our area, only my second since being on the Council, and the overall vibe was so much better than I expected. Tessa told me the local leaders did their best to shield the public from the worst of things. Why make them panic when there was little to nothing they could do? Remaining vigilant and traveling in groups was enough so far. Reports of attacks around the world had decreased since implementing those rules and having members return to their Council’s bases.

As hard as it was to be hopeful with all the AS had taken from me, I was finally allowing myself to believe the threats could end. My baby might be born without an immediate enemy.

The timer I set on my phone went off, and I got out of the tub. Ten minutes wasn’t enough. I could stay for hours, but the guys were strict about me following all the pregnancy rules they discovered in their research.

I had more incentive than normal tonight, though. Vince was coming over for a date night while Luca and Gavin hung out with Noah and Sky at the house. This was our first night all to ourselves. He finally had a break from the school renovations, and I got over my guilt of asking the guys to give us the apartment.

I dressed in a comfy matching pajama set Luca bought for me and pulled my hair up in a twisted bun before heading into the living room.

“There you are,” Vince greeted me from the kitchen.

I nearly jumped. “I didn’t know you were here already.”

“The guys let me in on their way out.” Like me, he dressed comfortably in gray sweats and a black T-shirt. I admired his defined arms while he rearranged the to-go cartons in front of him. “I brought dinner.”

The familiar scent of French fries drew me in. “What did you get?”

“Gavin mentioned you’ve been on a burger kick, so I went to the diner down the street he recommended.”

“Mmm.” I peeked into the box he put in front of me and grinned at the small pile of pickles under the bun, doing a little happy dance with my shoulders. This was one of my favorite meals lately. Greasy, simple, and delicious.

“They got the amount right?” he laughed.

“Yeah, they must have recognized the order.” That should be embarrassing, but I didn’t care in the least if I gained a reputation. We ordered from them at least once a week, and after Gavin went in the first time to explain I needed, not wanted—a borderline disgusting amount of pickles on my burger—they took the challenge and had yet to disappoint.

“You know what would go perfectly with this?” I asked, as I bit into a fry.

“What?” He took a bite of his burger.

“A white chocolate and peppermint hot chocolate.”

His grin grew. “Nah, Mexican hot chocolate with mini marshmallows.”

“We never got to go back.”

He sat his burger down and wiped his hands with a napkin. “Now we can.”

Memories of our first date, when he showed me his secret hangout, flooded back. “Will you sing again?”

He nodded. “If you want me to.”

“Our baby is going to be so spoiled. They’ll get a personal concert every night.”

The corners of his eyes crinkled. “I can’t wait.”

I didn’t need to ask if he was being honest. I could feel his excitement. “You’re going to be an amazing dad.”

He dropped his eyes, his smile dimming. “I hope so.”

I picked up a fry and tossed it at him. “None of that. You’ll be incredible. Plus, there are six of us to rotate and help. There’s a slim chance of ending up sleep-deprived or overwhelmed and if you don’t know how to do something, chances are one of the others will.”

“And they won’t let me be a screw-up.” He finally smiled again.

“We’ll all keep each other in line,” I agreed. “None of them will let you and me repeat the mistakes of our parents.”

He sucked in a breath and nodded. “Yeah, I won’t let you become a workaholic.”

Or disappear like my birth mother or be uncaring like the woman who raised me. The bar wasn’t very high, but I would do so much better, being the kind of mother I always wanted.

“And I won’t let you lose your temper.” He was nothing like this father, but I could tell my words helped.

As we finished eating, he updated me on the school. It was hard being so involved with the planning and decisions, yet not going to Santa Fe to see them become a reality. Getting video calls from him and Gwen to show me what got done each week had to be enough for now.

Hopefully, by the time the baby was here, things would be resolved with the AS, and I could see for myself.

We put on a movie we’d both seen and moved to the couch. I lay on his chest, not caring about following along. I just wanted to be close to him.

“I’ve missed you,” I admitted minutes after we settled in.

“I’ve missed you too, babe. You did the right thing by keeping distance between us while I worked through my issues. I’m grateful for the push to get me to where I am now, but it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I don’t want to stay away from you ever again.”

I twisted in his lap so I could see him. “So, you’re staying?”

He smiled. “I’m not going anywhere without you and the guys ever again. Not for more than a few days at a time.”

I pushed on his chest so I could kiss him. “I can’t tell you how happy that makes me.”

At this point, I’d assumed he was staying, but his confirmation was the best news.

“Not that I was going to let you ever leave again.”

He kissed the top of my head. “I don’t think they would let me either.”

“I’m ready for this to be the start of our future. No more thinking about the past or holding onto what happened.”

He quickly agreed. “It’s time to move forward, together.”

“What does that look like?” I wanted to hear from each of them. Ever since Noah asked me, I’d wondered what they envisioned.

He sighed and wrapped his arms around me, so I was lying with my head on his chest again. “Until very recently, I didn’t allow myself to think like that. With all my demons, there was always a voice telling me this couldn’t last.”

I tensed, but he rubbed my arm.

“Things have changed. I block out those thoughts as soon as they start because this is the life I want, and I’ll fight for it every single day if I have to.”

I nodded against his shirt.

“I want us to be together. To be happy, but that’s obvious.”

I laughed a little.

“I want a family,” he finally admitted.

“We already are one.”

“Yeah.” His voice sounded like a smile. He kissed my hair again. “And we’re growing, but I want more.”

“Well, Noah said we’d have at least two,” I reminded him.

“I want more than that. A house full of love and laughter with at least...five kids.”

“Five!” I gasped, and tried to face him, but he burst out laughing and stopped me.

“I’m kidding. That might be too many.”

“Might? I don’t know if I can do this four more times.” I shook my head. “Not unless you guys start carrying and birthing them.”

“We probably need a bigger place, too.”

“Noah had me close my eyes and envision what I wanted in the future. It included a big house, like mine and Gavin’s. Enough space for the six of us and the three kids we’ll have.”

“Four?” he countered, and I laughed.

“Maybe.”

“Okay, so a big house. With lots of land, or do you want to be close to the city?”

That was a good question. “It makes sense to be somewhat close to the city since most of us work here, but I don’t want to go back to Arlington Park.”

Way too many memories, mostly bad.

“So, the suburbs.”

“Yeah, not too far from our parents though.”

He laughed. “Close, but not too close?”

“Right. Even though there’s six of us, we’ll probably still need help with the baby.”

“That’s a good point. Plus, the parents will want to visit.” He sighed, his chest lifting me up and down. “So, a big house close to the city with a pool.”

“Is that a requirement?” I teased.

“Yes. If we’re making wish lists, then I’m adding that.”

“Fair enough. I also want a theater room,” I added. “We used mine way too much to not have one in our own house.”

“Fine with me.”

“And the backyard can’t be just a pool. We need some lawn for the kids to run around and maybe even add a play set.”

“Big house, pool, theater, big yard, close to the city and Arlington Park.”

“Without actually being there,” I reminded him.

“Got it. Sounds...possible.”

“Ugh, maybe we should just stay here and find ways to make it work.” It made the most sense to stay close to the office.

“But that’s not what you want,” he protested.

“Not for forever, but with only one baby, it probably wouldn’t be too bad.”

He ran his hand over my back. “No, we’ll find a house that checks all the boxes.”

“What if it doesn’t exist?”

“Then I’ll build it.”

“Huh.” I hadn’t thought of that. “That’s something you’d want to do?”

“I like working with my hands,” he admitted. “My strength comes in handy and creating things, like the school to keep students safe, is empowering. I enjoyed the work I did in Boise, but didn’t like the crew I was with. Maybe I can start something here.”

“Your own construction company?”

He smiled. “Maybe eventually. I’ll probably apprentice first or get a job with a local company and work towards getting a general contractor’s license.”

“You’ve thought about this.”

“Yeah. Once I realized this was where I needed to be, I started thinking about my options.”

“The thought of you building our home with your bare hands is pretty hot.” I suppressed a giggle.

“Oh, yeah?”

I lifted enough to twist around and straddle him. “Yeah, with a tool belt and hard hat.”

He shook his head, his grin growing. “That’s hardly sexy.”

“To you. This is my fantasy.” I swiveled my pointer finger from him to myself. “Did I forget to mention that’s all you're wearing?”

“My girl has a contractor fetish? Interesting.”

I scrunched my nose. “More like a you fetish.”

He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and pulled me down for a heated kiss. His free hand cupped my ass, and I felt his growing erection in his sweats between my legs.

I moaned and rocked my hips, pressing against him.

“Is this allowed?”

I pulled up enough to look into his eyes. “This?”

“Sex?”

I sat up and blinked. “What?”

His eyes dropped to my belly. “Is it bad for Lemon?”

Fighting back a laugh, I nodded. “It’s safe.”

“I didn’t know it was possible to love someone you’ve never met this much.”

He gently put his palm against my stomach, and I put my hand over his, locking eyes with him.

“I’ve thought that, too.”

“I love you, babe.”

I grinned and reached between us, pushing his pants down enough to expose him to me. “I love you, too.”

“Can you say that again, but look at my face rather than my dick?” he laughed.

I bit my lip and stood, sliding off my clothes before resuming my position. I palmed his erection and held it in place as I slid down. “I love you, Vince.”

I only managed to keep my eyes open long enough to tell him before I dropped my head back and gently rocked my hips.

“Is that okay?” He checked after lifting his pelvis.

I gasped, overwhelmed by the feeling of fullness, then nodded.

His hands trailed over my bare legs to my belly. He cradled our growing baby before cupping my breasts and massaging.

“Oh, god, yes.”

He chuckled. “I was worried they’d be sore.”

I pressed my hands over his, making him squeeze tighter. “It varies day to day. Right now, I’ll come if you don’t stop.”

“Fuck,” he muttered, then mimicked what I did before I dropped my hands to prop myself up on his chest. “You’re so sexy.”

I moaned and rocked over him, angling my hips to rub my clit over the base of his dick. “Oh!” I screamed after a few strokes.

“Yes. Use me, babe. Take what you need.” He matched me, thrust for thrust until I shattered over him. Crying out my release as my core throbbed.

He grunted. “Oh no.”

I dropped my head forward, panting. “You okay?”

He gave me a shy smile. “I didn’t mean to come so fast.”

I laughed. “Me either.”

He leaned forward and kissed me. “Next time, we can take it slower.”

I grinned. “Or we can just do this again in a few minutes.”

“I love the way you think.”