Page 7 of Absolutely Pucked (Punk as Puck #3)

I would do my best to get them the cash the moment I had some, but I was envisioning a stamped envelope with a thank-you card. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to show my face around here again. “Thanks for the help. It…yeah. It means a lot. Um…”

“You don’t have to say anything else, honey. I get it. It took me years, but I have all this now. And a family.” They set both hands on the bar and met my gaze. “You’ll get there. No matter what your sins are.”

They had no idea, but as much as I probably deserved the punishment by telling them the sort of man I had been, I knew I couldn’t take it. I was flayed raw and exhausted. As selfish as it was, I just wanted a little peace.

“Thank you.”

They smiled at me and winked before turning back, and the moment was broken.

Orders began to print from their little register, and I suddenly felt like a ghost. It was better that way.

I was sated now, full in more ways than one, and ready to do something to get my life back from the clawed hands of the one person who was supposed to love me until death parted us.

“Yo, Killian. Where are you right now?”

I hadn’t talked to Damir in years. We exchanged emails since we practiced the same type of law, and he’d always been smarter than me.

But he wasn’t the sort of friend I stayed close to.

I hadn’t even invited him to the wedding, so the idea that he was offering me a place to stay was kind of a miracle.

“I’m still in Turenne.” I was in a hotel parking lot a block away from my brother’s place, sitting in the driver’s seat with my hands on the wheel.

“You hitting the road?”

I sighed and looked at the clock. I knew I should.

“I’m gonna grab a bite and then take off.

I won’t get in until late.” It was about a five-hour drive to Manhattan if the traffic was cooperative, which it should be after midnight.

Getting in at ass o’clock would be my only saving grace, having to drive in that city.

“There’s a parking garage to the right of my building.

You can store the car there and let it charge my account.

Just put in my door number. I’ll text you the door code so you don’t have to wake me up.

There’s one for the building and one for my door lock.

” He sounded tired, and I didn’t blame him.

He was losing sleep because of me. “There’s sheets and a pillow on the couch.

I’ll try not to wake you when I leave in the morning. ”

I felt a little gutted that I was going to wake up in his place entirely alone, but it wasn’t fair of me to ask him to take time off. Him giving me this was enough. “Thanks, man. I’ll get you back as soon as I get the chance.”

“We’ll talk when I get off work,” he said.

His tone told me it wasn’t going to be a good talk, but I’d deal. I needed a thorough ass-chewing. Damir had been one of the few people who hadn’t trusted Delia, and that was probably one of the reasons he and I had fallen out of touch .

“Sounds good. Thanks aga?—”

“Enough. I get it. Your life is shit, and you’re thankful. You don’t have to lay it on so thick.”

My throat got a little tight with shame, and I had no idea what to say. “Alright. See you soon.”

He hung up before I did, and a small part of me thought maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe I shouldn’t impose. I could crawl back to my parents and beg, and they’d probably give me shelter, but neither of them was currently speaking to me.

Whatever Delia had told them, they believed her, and I had no idea what other lies she was spreading around. The spit in my mouth tasted bitter and acidic, and I swallowed it down as best I could.

Turning the key, I pulled onto the main road, but instead of heading right for the freeway, I went left.

I drove the familiar path to the little complex with the broken gated entrance, and I pulled around to the side.

Tucker didn’t have a car. After the accident, he’d never been able to see well enough to drive again.

It was a miracle he could see at all.

But I recognized his friend’s ride, and I could see a light on in the window.

I turned off the headlights, pulled up next to the little four-door beater, and let my engine idle.

My car was the only thing I had worth anything now, and I was terrified to sell it because if I did, Delia would end up demanding the cash for it when we finally stood before a judge.

It wasn’t enough for her to sleep with my ex-boss.

It wasn’t enough for her to demand that he fire me and destroy my reputation and blacklist me from every firm in the state.

She wanted to make sure I suffered, and for what?

The only sin I’d committed against her was not living up to her financial expectations.

But I suppose, in her mind, that was enough. Now, I was escaping across the country, attempting to find some way to support myself because things were looking dire. My accounts were frozen, my friends had taken her side, and I had only myself to blame.

The day she looked me in the eye and asked me to love her in spite of what it would do to my relationship with Tucker, I said yes. This was what I got.

I felt like screaming into the void. I didn’t understand how she managed to get Daniel to so readily ruin me. She was gorgeous, yes, and athletic in bed.

But none of it should have been enough for Daniel to not only leave his wife and kids, but also to destroy me just to make her smile. I’d been working under him for almost a decade now. It should have been enough to have some sort of loyalty.

But there was nothing. And it seemed to me that he was going to make sure I remained nothing until she was satisfied.

Headlights scared the shit out of me. They lit up the inside of my car, and I ducked as quickly as I could because while I didn’t recognize the vehicle, something in my gut told me it was Tucker.

I held my breath as I watched the person park, and a moment later, the passenger door opened, and there he was.

The man with my face. The person I should have been closest to in the entire world.

Tucker walked with a gait I didn’t recognize and held a white cane in his left hand because in spite of regaining some vision in his remaining eye, he still couldn’t see for shit. He was the poster child of losing it all, but in that moment, he was smiling.

He dragged his hand through his hair the way he used to do when we were younger and he was trying to flirt. From where I was sitting, I couldn’t see the dimple in his cheek, but I knew it was there because I had the same one.

With the windows up, I couldn’t make out what he was saying, but I heard his laugh. I watched through the rearview mirror as he reached out and pulled the dark-haired man closer. The stranger swayed in, and I could see a smile on his face as he tipped his head up and Tucker leaned in to kiss him.

I stopped watching after that. It wasn’t my place. I was on the outside because I was the one who fucked up. I let jealousy and resentment and pressure from my parents ruin what might have been the only person who would have stood by me when shit got rough.

And if I hadn’t let that happen, Delia would have never stumbled into my path.

I wouldn’t be sitting in this car tonight.

I wouldn’t know this pain.

When I was brave enough to look back again, Tucker and his date were nowhere to be seen. I caught the barest movement of his front door closing, and then the night was still again. I let myself think about Ford for the quickest moment—how he would feel when he woke up.

How it wouldn’t break him to think about me because he would have no idea who I was. He’d go about his life, maybe thinking about Ian from time to time, but he’d never have to deal with the weight of fucking Killian.

He’d never know that, once again, I stepped in to allow Tucker to be hurt.

Maybe I really was the monster, and God, I would have given anything to fix that about myself.

Grabbing my phone, I shot a text to Damir letting him know I was on my way. My tires rolled back, the car hit the road, and before the next dozen heartbeats crashed through my chest, Tucker’s apartment was in the distance, and I was on my way to whatever was coming next.