Page 37 of Absolutely Pucked (Punk as Puck #3)

CHAPTER

TWENTY-THREE

KILLIAN

In the week that followed my fleeing Ford’s place, I tried to leave three times. All three times, Jonah seemed to sense it and managed to stop me just before I got to the door.

“Just because I can’t see your ass making an escape doesn’t mean I don’t know what you’re planning,” he said the final time. He stood in front of me with his arms crossed. “It isn’t cute, by the way. Taking advantage of my blindness?—”

“I’m not taking advantage of that. I’m taking advantage of your home. And your kindness. And your?—”

“Dude.”

I shut my mouth.

“Can you go sit at the counter and shut up for ten seconds while I make us lunch?”

Why was I so easy to control? I walked over and plopped down, watching as he moved into the kitchen and put together a sandwich that would feed me for a week. He ate like a pro athlete, of course, and assumed everyone ate that way.

My appetite was worse than ever, but I forced down several bites because I wasn’t an asshole.

“So,” he said after a short forever of chewing noises and awkward silence, “you blocked Ford?”

Wincing, I glanced away as though somehow he could see the guilt on my face. “It was better that way.”

“Because you’re an asshole who wants him to hurt, or…”

“He and I can’t be together. For obvious reasons,” I added, and he hummed softly, a concession but not quite an agreement. “I figured going cold turkey was better. I don’t want to try being friends. It hurts too much.”

Jonah sighed. “I get that, believe it or not. Everyone thinks I’m some kind of man-whore—not as bad as my brother, but you know. I date a lot, and they assume it doesn’t hurt every time it ends.”

“That sucks.”

He snorted. “It super sucks. I feel like I never get sympathy. But whatever. Look, why don’t you come to practice with me today.”

I jolted. “Oh. But…won’t people ask questions?”

“Yep. It’ll be really invasive and terrible, but I wouldn’t mind the company. I keep telling you that I like you, but it seems like you don’t want to believe me.”

“I do.”

“But…” he pressed.

“Just not feeling very worthy right now.”

“Sad sack of shit,” he said and laughed. “We got knocked out of playoffs last week, so this practice is basically just to get a couple of the new guys oriented to the ice and whatnot.”

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry.”

“Nah. I really didn’t feel like getting my ass kicked all the way through June,” he told me, shaking his head as he hopped off the stool and stepped away from the breakfast bar.

“But the arena is nice. NHL plays there too, and it’s open year-round, so you can grab something else since you didn’t like my sandwich. ”

I grimaced. “I liked it.”

“I can hear you, Killian. You took three bites. I know your ass didn’t finish a whole sub in three bites. It’s fine. It’s not my strong suit.”

He started to walk away, but I reached out and caught his arm.

“I did like it. And your food has been good. I just can’t seem to keep anything down right now.

Everything feels terrible.” This was worse than finding Delia in Daniel’s office with his dick in her mouth.

This was worse than learning that everything I thought about her was a lie.

My heart was actually broken.

“Then coming with me is an even better idea than before. It’ll take your mind off things. Please,” he added, like he really wanted me there.

I was still feeling lost. Once again, I had no job, I had one friend left, a shattered heart, and no idea what I was going to do with my life once Daniel took the leash off my neck. So maybe cultivating this friendship wasn’t the worst idea I’d heard that week.

The team manager sent a car to pick Jonah up. He had a huge bag with the gear he didn’t leave at the arena, and he hoisted it over his shoulder like it was nothing, leading the way to the back door where all the athletes went in and out.

I’d never been into sports and had never seen a game, so it was all new to me. It felt like we were walking through underground tunnels, and the only thing keeping me oriented was the tactile strips that decorated the ground, which Jonah followed with his cane.

We came around a corner, which opened up into a larger hallway, and there were a handful of guys standing around. One of them, with very white hair and the palest skin I’d ever seen, and who was holding a guide dog harness, turned and grinned.

“Jonah! You brought a friend?”

“Yep. This is my new best friend, so you’d better be really fucking nice to him. Killian, this is Gabe. The rest of you, introduce yourselves, you godless heathens,” he demanded.

I laughed as we came to a stop near them. Two of them were very tall, practically towering over me, one with light brown hair and the other with pitch-black. They were both holding white canes and wearing glasses with thick lenses .

The brown-haired one stuck his hand out to me. “Matt.”

“Tiago,” the one with dark hair said.

“Nice to meet you.” I had no idea what to say. I wasn’t the most social guy.

“Anyway, this was fun,” Jonah said. “I’m going to point Killian to the WAGs and then meet you on the ice.” He walked off quickly, and I stole a glance behind us as I hurried to catch up.

“They’re whispering,” I said.

He snorted. “Yeah. They’re trying to figure out if we’re boning or not. They’ll take bets.”

“Oh, uh…”

“Don’t worry, we’re not going to bone.”

“I wasn’t worried about that?” I said, frowning as he led the way toward a set of double doors. “You don’t care though?”

“Why should I?”

“Because you don’t like guys.”

Jonah stopped and scoffed, leaning against the wall. “Look, if I ever met a guy I liked, I’d fuck him. Or date him. You know, whatever. I just never have. But I’m not a closed-minded asshole or a bigot.”

“I didn’t think that.”

He softened a bit. “There are dozens of out players in the pros now, but it’s hard to shake off the old bullshit bigotry.

And honestly, it’s a bit like high school.

Everyone cares what everyone else is doing with all their bits, and it gets a little…

invasive. I let them guess and take bets, and one day, I figure I’ll just show up married, and they’ll have to shut their mouths forever. ”

“Sounds like you have it figured out. ”

He snorted. “It’s the only thing in my life that is figured out. Now…” He started walking again and stopped near the end of a corridor that opened up to the ground-level seats. “To the left—is there anyone sitting there?”

I squinted. “Some guy. Reddish hair, kind of tall. Sunglasses. Looks like he’s wearing one of your team jerseys. The back says Carlen.”

“Oh. Okay, that’s Asa. He’s the backup goalie, but he’s got a torn Achilles right now, so he can’t play. You can go chat with him. Tell him I sent you.”

Before I could argue, Jonah turned and walked off, leaving me entirely on my own in the nearly empty arena. I had half a mind to hunker down in one of the closer seats and not socialize, but Jonah was right. If I had any hope of getting over the heartbreak, I had to do something with myself.

I needed to get my own place, get a job, and pull myself together. I was too damn old to be doing this.

On the verge of announcing my presence to Asa, I tripped on the edge of a step and fell flat on my face. He jolted and spun, brows furrowed.

“Um, what the fuck?”

“Hi. Hello. I’m on the floor. Give me a second.” As if my life couldn’t get more humiliating.

He snorted. “Do you need a hand up?”

“Nope.” I crawled onto my hands and knees, then stood and dropped into the seat one away from his.

“Newly blind?”

“Nope. Just clumsy as fuck. I’m Killian. Jonah sent me over to bother you. He bullied me into watching practice this afternoon because otherwise I was going to sit in my bed and rot.”

Asa grimaced. Up close, he was very attractive, though he didn’t look a day over twenty. He had that annoyingly smooth, blemish-free skin that I’d always wanted but genetics denied me. He was pale and covered in freckles with a button nose and full lips.

“It must be bad if you’re trauma dumping to a total stranger. Which I don’t mind, by the way. I’m a whore for gossip, and all of my old friends won’t talk to me anymore, so I feel kind of left out.”

My brows rose. “What did you do? Did you fuck one of their partners?”

Asa choked. “Dude, that is so specific. But, uhh…no. I went blind.”

“Oh. Shit. That’s…why wouldn’t they talk to you after that?”

“Because they don’t know what to do with me now. I was blind in one eye before, but since I could fake the whole perfectly sighted thing really well, they were fine. But then shit happened, and, well. I don’t know if you were ever in a fraternity…”

“Oh God. Yeah.” And I knew exactly what he meant.

My fraternity brothers kept in touch so long as it benefited them in some way.

It had been all crickets since Delia left, and I realized I hadn’t even thought about them this entire time.

“I thought I was hot shit, then my life fell apart, and now I’m worthless to them. I get it.”

“My mom made me join,” he said with a sigh, turning his face back toward the rink.

Off in the distance, I could see a group of people heading toward the ice, and I realized it was the team.

“She was fixated on me being, like, normal or whatever?” He waved his hand.

“She forced me to take driver’s ed and dragged me to all these ridiculous-as-fuck monuments all over the country as though not seeing those white dudes on the side of a sacred Native American mountain was somehow going to create regret and resentment. ”

“Did you know you were losing your sight? Shit, that’s such a rude question.”

He laughed. “It’s cool. And I guess? It was a tumor.

I had one in my right eye when I was three, and they said that there was a good chance the cancer could come back and infect the other eye, but if I made it to fifteen, the chance dropped dramatically.

We both kind of thought I was in the clear when I hit nineteen. We were wrong.”

“Sucks.”