Page 41 of Absolutely Pucked (Punk as Puck #3)

With a small grunt, I stopped the kissing and pulled back, adjusting myself on his lap so my leg hooked around his back. We were both breathing heavy, both a little unsteady, his hands roaming over me like he wasn’t sure where to touch me, or how much, or for how long.

I met his gaze and squared my shoulders. I was ready for this. I’d never said it to a partner before. I’d never even thought about it with anyone. Not like this. Tucker and Boden were different, but so was Killian.

“I owe you an apology for knowing damn well we could have talked to Tucker and worked this out,” I started.

“I knew your brother better than that, and I take responsibility for that pain. The way I wanted you was warring with the guilt I felt because it was almost like I was taking your side over his.”

“I know,” he rasped, dragging fingertips along my arms.

Leaning forward, I knocked my forehead against his and kissed him softly. “The way I wanted you was like nothing I’d ever felt before. I didn’t want to admit it, but it scared the absolute shit out of me.”

He laughed, the sound almost broken, and his hands moved to my hips, squeezing me tightly. “Yeah. That’s how I felt too. You made it very obvious that I never knew what being in love was like.”

Closing my eyes tightly, I took another breath. “I’m in love with you too.”

He let out a noise that sounded suspiciously like a sob and shook his head.

I started to feel another zing of panic. Was that the wrong thing to say? “Killian, I—please tell me you had some idea.”

He pulled his head back and looked at me, eyes red and watery, grin small. “Oh, I had every idea, sweetheart. The way you looked at me gave me hope, and that scared the hell out of me. I can’t believe I’m here.”

“I can’t believe it either. You’re such a stubborn ass?—”

“I know.”

“—I didn’t think anyone was going to get you to see reason. I would have if you hadn’t blocked me…”

He kissed me quiet for a second. “I’m not going to live that down, am I?”

“Mmm…no.” I grinned as he laughed. “On our deathbeds, I’m going to be holding your hand and saying—” I affected my old man voice. “—‘Remember the time you ghosted me when you thought your brother was going to kick your ass?’”

He burst into another fit of laughter and held me so tight I almost couldn’t breathe. “Love you so fucking much. I need you.” His tone turned desperate again as he tipped his head to the side and began to gnaw at the tendon along my neck. “Can I have you? Please, please, gorgeous. Let me?—”

“Yes.” I wanted nothing else in the world. There wasn’t a chance I was getting up to get lube, and if I knew Killian, I knew he hadn’t come prepared out of his continued false sense that everything was going to turn out wrong for him.

But as much as I wanted to feel him deep inside me, I realized in that moment there was time for that. There was forever. He was mine, I was his, and I would literally fight every single thing on the planet to keep it that way.

Spreading my thighs a bit more, I leaned back and thrust up. “Touch me.”

He groaned softly as he reached between us, pulling the pajama pants down until they were cradled behind my balls. He held my cock as his other hand moved to pull his own dick out. It was only in that moment that I noticed we were wearing matching bottoms.

“You fucking nerd.”

“Hmm…oh.” He looked down, and his face bloomed brightly as he blushed. “Yeah. Uh…I saw them and thought they might be cute. They’re silly, I know.”

“They’re perfect,” I insisted, then thrust my cock forward, sending the tip sliding up his length.

There were no words after that. He gasped, groaned, then closed his hand around the both of us as I began to fuck his fist in earnest. My hips ached, but the sound of my ass slapping up and down on his thighs was worth it.

And so was the waterfall of moans pouring from his lips. He groaned like he’d never felt better. He groaned like he’d never been touched like this.

Never been loved like this.

And the painful truth was, he probably hadn’t. And neither had I. In that, he was my first. My only. And I wanted to be his.

I turned my head, pulling him in for a sloppy kiss, gasping as I chased my orgasm.

Tensions had been so high that it didn’t take long before I was damn near shouting, my cock going thick, kicking in his hand as it spurted between us.

The slickness of my come had him following after, and his hand slid over us both, rapid-fire and shaky as he grunted into my mouth.

It was over as quickly as it had gotten started. Not a slow burn but an abrupt and sudden silence as the last tendrils of pleasure began to fade.

It got awkward for a few seconds as he took off his T-shirt and cleaned us up, but as he fell back against the cushions and pulled me with him, that feeling began to settle into something better. Something familiar.

It was the word he’d used before: home.

“I have to go to California in a few weeks to settle my divorce. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. I spoke to an attorney, who said we should be able to get a date pretty quick since we’ve been in mediation for so long.”

I hummed, feeling a tiny twinge of insecurity touch my spine. “When you see her again, do you think you’ll?—”

“No.”

I glared up at him. “You don’t even know what I was going to ask.”

Tracing a touch over my lips, he shrugged, then rolled toward me.

With a strong hand, he lifted me a bit and rested the end of my stump against his hip.

The normal pressure-pain in my joint eased almost instantly.

It was like he was tuned in to me, able to perfectly position himself to give me peace in every atom of my body.

“It doesn’t matter what you want to ask about her. I won’t feel it. I won’t want it. I won’t say it. The last two weeks have made me realize that I don’t feel anything about her. The only thing that matters is closing the door on this part of my past. I’m ready for my future.”

I smiled. “Your future.”

“You,” he said, cupping my jaw. “In case I wasn’t clear.”

I couldn’t help a laugh. “It was clear, baby. It was definitely clear.”

He kissed me for that, a long, indulgent, heavy moment. “When I come back,” he started, but after a beat, he didn’t finish.

“What? You know I’ll give you anything.”

A smile played at his lips. “I want it to be like this all the time. You and me. I know it’s probably moving fast, but?—”

It only took me a second to realize what he was dancing around.

I answered him with another deeper kiss.

“Yes,” I murmured against his lips, then eased back into the cradle of his arm that was propping up my head.

“I want you with me all the time. Here or some other place we can find. I told everyone I would take that fuck-ass coaching job, so I’ll make a proper salary, and I can help pay my way. ”

He sighed against my temple, nosing along my hair. “I’m going to change areas of law, I think. I need to look into it. I’ll have to get certified to practice here, but that shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll make a good life for us.”

“It’s already good,” I told him. “I would live in a tent with you and be the happiest man on the planet.”

He was still for a long, long second, and then he squeezed me so tight I grunted. “Sorry, just…I think I’ve always wanted to hear that. That what I can bring to the table is enough. And I never have.”

I didn’t say anything. I didn’t have the words. So I held him instead, kissing his neck, down his chest, over his beating heart. “It’s a good thing Carol-Ann isn’t here to hear all this sappy shit.” I pointed at the blanket fort door flaps that were closed.

“The leg or the girl?”

“Yes.” I felt him frown against me, and I waved my hand absently. “You get it.”

Leaning back, his rich, rumbling laughter filled the tent. He kissed me again. Then again. Then one more time. “I actually do.”

I believed him.

He was the first.