Page 25 of Absolutely Pucked (Punk as Puck #3)

CHAPTER

FIFTEEN

KILLIAN

“…and she gets food when the food dispenser goes off. Do not let her convince you that she’s starving. She will try, and she’s very good at it.”

I sighed but smiled as I took the list from Ford’s hands. “I won’t overfeed her. I won’t let her get out or die. I won’t let the house burn down.”

Ford hesitated, then said, “And you’ll be here when I get back, right? Even if…” He didn’t finish his sentence, but I knew what he wanted to say. Even if I got found out. Even if I panicked. Even if I realized this was all too much.

He was on his way to Montreal for a big hockey thing that I didn’t understand, nor was I invited to. It was going to last all weekend, and it was the first time real life had stepped in to shatter the little bubble he and I had been in since the night of the massage.

We went about our daily lives like nothing had changed.

He and I both worked, he played hockey and had his practices, and sometimes he had dinner with Boden and Tucker, though he didn’t share details about those nights.

But in the quiet moments after the phone calls and texts stopped, and the house was quiet, we had each other.

I’d fucked him in every room in the house. I’d made him beg and sob for more. We kept personal details out of our conversations because both of us had tender, painful pasts, and it was easier to focus on making each other come than the emotional scars that still twinged.

But it was nice.

No. It was more than nice.

My life was still a ticking countdown until Daniel and Delia released me from this fucked-up financial bondage. I didn’t know what was going to happen after that. Would I head back up to Damir’s and try to make a life there?

I sure as shit wasn’t heading back west. There was nothing for me there.

But there was nothing for me here either. There was only one man I couldn’t actually have because we couldn’t keep this a secret forever, and I wasn’t about to ask him to choose me over his friends.

But fuck, I was falling for him.

And it was making it even more obvious now that anything I had ever felt for Delia had been superficial. It had been attempting to soothe wounds that I thought would never heal. And I supposed that was karma, really. Or, at the very least, poetic justice.

Tucker would get his happily ever after, and I would get a taste of it before having to give it up.

But the worst part was, I knew Ford liked me too. I had no idea how much, or how deep, or how real it was. But the way he held me—the way he touched me, and clung on, and slept with his head on my chest—I knew it would ruin him just a little when it all had to end.

Which was why I refused to bring it up.

And also why I cupped his chin and kissed him until he went boneless against me.

“I will be here with bells on.”

“Literal bells?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes. “No.”

“That could have been fun, but…fine.” He surged in for one last kiss, then took a breath. “You’d better go into the room. Boden always comes in to pet Nuggs, and if he sees you…”

He didn’t need to finish that thought. Being his little secret wasn’t as erotic or as fun as I expected it to be. Slinking off to the guest room and locking the door, I felt ashamed. Mostly because of what he’d have to face if any of his friends knew the truth.

For his own good, I probably should leave while he wasn’t around to convince me to stay. The sooner I did that, the easier it would be to move on. But I was the one thing Tucker always accused me of being: a selfish bastard.

Pressing my ear to the door, I could make out the sound of muffled voices. They got a little clearer after a bit. I recognized Boden’s gait now. Sometimes he used a wheelchair, but with his crutches, the way he walked had a distinct sound.

Then I heard Ford laugh. It was different than the way he laughed with me.

It was freer. The laugh of a man who had tons of history and love and affection from these people.

A man without trust issues because he knew the little family he’d created was going to be there for him, no matter what he did.

They’d forgive him anything.

Well…almost anything.

I was pretty sure I was a cardinal sin.

It didn’t take long before he was gone, and when the door shut for the final time, my heart sank to my feet.

I was alone. I had Ford’s car, which he’d taken the hand controls out of and told me to use since he wouldn’t be around to give me a ride, but I wasn’t going to risk it.

No matter how often he said Tucker didn’t shop at our work, I didn’t have faith that he wouldn’t show up out of nowhere.

Or drive by and see Ford’s car and panic that someone had stolen it.

I had the afternoon off though, so I planned to use it by rotting on the couch and pining for him while he was gone. Nugget cuddles would help, of course, but I already missed him. I was already used to his presence, and it was going to ruin me when I had to give it up.

I had never felt so…alive. So safe. With Delia, it felt like walking into a minefield every time I stepped through the front door.

I spent most of my time at the office doing paperwork and case research just to avoid the inevitable fight that waited for me when I got in because she was so damn unsatisfied with everything.

And I spent the rest of the evening avoiding calls from my mom because Delia loved nothing more than to sic her on me.

Grabbing my phone, I snagged the fuzzy throw and made my way to the couch.

I was working the late shift, so I wouldn’t need to catch the bus until the evening.

Nugget didn’t take long to make herself comfortable on my chest, so I took a couple of selfies to send to Ford later, then settled on an audiobook, closed my eyes, and let myself get lost in the dulcet tones of the narrator.

Taking the bus reminded me of high school. My parents had been adamant that Tucker and I not drive until we were eighteen, so while all of our friends were getting their licenses and driving their parents’ spare cars, we were mastering public transit.

It had been a long while, of course, and I never missed my car more than I did when I was stuck next to some person who decided to have a whole conversation about office gossip on speakerphone. But it wasn’t the worst.

The evening route was better than the morning rush. I found a spot in the very back and even had room to kick my feet up. The supermarket was a half an hour away from the stop near Ford’s apartment, so I had time to people watch and stare at the scenery going by.

It was getting deep into spring, which was nice.

I was more excited to see autumn when the leaves were changing color, but I liked this too.

Trees were flowering, and in spite of the way it made my sinuses feel like they were trying to explode from the center of my forehead, I appreciated what I didn’t have back west .

I didn’t notice people getting on the bus at the second stop until something hit my shoe, and I grunted.

“Oh shit. Sorry.”

My gaze darted up, and I saw a man with wide eyes holding a white cane.

He was not looking at me, which made it very obvious he couldn’t see.

He was very good-looking—dark hair in floppy curls, a slight five-o’clock shadow, dressed in a T-shirt with the Polo horse logo and a pair of jeans that made his ass look top-notch.

Of course, it was all aesthetic to me now that I had Ford, but I had no reason not to be polite.

“No problem. Did you want to sit here?”

“Tucker? What the fuck?”

Oh God, I needed to learn to disguise my voice better. I cleared my throat. “Uh, I’m not Tucker. Sorry.”

The guy frowned, and then the bus lurched, and he fell completely on top of me. I managed to catch him before his face hit the side of the seat and righted him in the spot next to mine.

“Well, now I’m double embarrassed.” He straightened and folded his cane, shoving it between his knees, then extended his hand toward me. “Jonah.”

“Ki—” I turned the consonant into a cough. “Excuse me. I’m Ian.”

He frowned. “Hmm. Kian.”

“Just Ian.” For some reason, I hated lying to him. Obviously, he knew Tucker, so there was one more person who was going to get pissed when the truth came to light.

“Okay, Just Ian. Weird name.”

“My parents were weird. ”

He laughed and shook his head. “Yeah. Join the club. I was named after a guy who lived in a whale, and my brother was named after a minor prophet in the bible.”

“Uh…”

“Micah.”

“Oh shit,” I blurted. Damn it! His brows flew up, and I knew I was busted. “I know your brother. I work with Ford.” There. Damage control.

Jonah frowned, then suddenly lunged at me. I flinched, but his hands went to my legs, feeling them up and down. It only took me a second to realize what he was doing. Just like we’d done with the little girl at the supermarket. “Sorry. Just checking.”

“Cop a feel all you need,” I told him.

He grinned. “I like you. You come here often?”

I hesitated. “Are you hitting on me?”

“Mm…the thing is, I’m not usually into dudes. Are you very pretty? I might make an exception if you’ve got a Pedro Pascal thing going for you.”

“No one has ever called me pretty,” I told him, “and I definitely don’t look like Pedro Pascal.”

He hummed in thought. “Then…no. Not hitting on you. But I’m going to talk to you while I wait for my stop if that’s cool.”

“That sounds a lot better than simmering in my existential crisis while watching randos on the bus.”

He burst into laughter. “Tell me about the crisis.”

“Well…” I hesitated, but I could do this without giving away too many details. Right? “My wife—soon-to-be ex-wife—she’s having an affair with my boss.”

He whistled lowly. “Damn. ”

“He fired me to make her happy,” I added.

Jonah’s brows flew up. “Seriously?”