Page 75 of Above (Darkness Reigns #1)

Nova

“I fear the day that I finally start hating myself as much as the rest of the world seems to.”

“ Y ou’re late. Is everything okay?” Talon asked as I approached the doors of his castle. Forcing a smile onto my tear-stained face, I nodded, taking his outstretched hand. He seemed unconvinced as he lowered his lips to my knuckles. “Well, did you want to do something else? Relax instead?”

“No, let’s go to the restaurant. I’m starving.” With one final assessing gaze, he wrapped his arm around me and shrouded us in shadows.

We appeared in front of an extravagant building, the glass marking it as such. Glass has always been the material of the stars, for it let us see them. Anyone with wealth utilized it. Though I had noticed that Castle Zade did not, and I wondered if that meant something more.

“I’ve heard incredible things about this place,” Talon whispered, smiling broadly as he gripped my chin with his large hand and bent down to peck my lips.

His jaw flexed, some sort of emotion pinching his face for a brief moment.

But then he was back, shaking his head so hard that strands of his dark hair fell out of the bun.

I watched curiously as he dusted off his tailored jacket, the lapels perfectly in place and the dusty red shirt beneath free of wrinkles. He was, as always, immaculate. Handsome and rugged. The definition of a warrior.

However, just as the days had felt off, so did Talon.

“Let’s get inside,” he muttered, bearing his teeth in a too-wide grin as he dragged me through the door.

Letting him guide us, I tuned out the incessant chatter and the overly-friendly attendant who insisted on placing his hand on Talon’s lower back and whispering in his ear. Instead, I tried to better understand my own feelings of discomfort and unease. Something was clearly wrong, but what?

Before I could get to the core of the pit in my stomach, Talon was guiding me into a seat with gentle—yet forceful—hands. I caved, letting him tuck in my chair and kiss my head.

He was a gentleman, I couldn’t fault him for that. Plus, of all the things I might argue with Talon about, his unflinching need to care for me was not going to be one of them.

“What would you two like to drink tonight?” A woman asked as she appeared next to the attendant. Doing my best to smile, I ordered a water, only faintly listening as Talon ordered something far heavier. His brow was sweating, his eyes blinking furiously. Was he nervous?

“Read anything good lately?” he asked, leaning back in his chair and slyly dabbing his forehead.

“Actually, yes. I came across a book in the elite library that was really interesting.” The librarian at the military base was much more forthcoming with the books, though I was fairly certain that had to do with my new status, because I could tell she didn’t want to let me in.

“It’s a far more detailed account of our first conquest. It explains how one of the original twenty core families had accidentally shadow walked too far.

At first, he thought he just went to one of the demolished continents on Dajahim that he had never been to before.

But he quickly realized that the landscape looked different, and there were people there.

It wasn’t Dajahim at all. The text doesn’t mention which core member it was, but all I could think was that his first instinct was to demolish something new—to destroy the unknown—to conquer and devastate.

What would’ve happened if he had simply decided that they were worth allying with and learning from?

It’s just so odd to me that we constantly choose destruction and chaos without really knowing if that’s the only solution or step forward. I feel like there’s another way.”

Talon peered at me with a soft smile on his mouth, the look somewhat condescending. He knew when I was going off on a tangent.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble like that,” I said, feeling annoying.

This was meant to be our time to relax, not to rant about what was, what could be, and what inevitably would come.

Talon and I didn’t need to be discussing this, and I knew that he probably felt drastically different than I did, even about those small details.

I was quickly coming to realize that we were all unchanging statues, so deeply carved that transformation was nearly impossible.

It was difficult to be something opposite of what you were raised to be.

I would always be an eadi at heart and he’d always be a core.

“No, don’t apologize. You’re fine. You might ramble sometimes, but I still love you.”

Nodding, I crossed my arms and got more comfortable in my stiff wooden seat.

The area was beautiful, the ceiling clear and giving way to the setting sun.

The stars were making their first appearance of the day, our moment to watch them as they were always watching us.

The tables were all a deep, red oak with small runners on them.

Enormous vases, full of extravagant flowers like blooming red roses and twisting tulips, sat at the center of the table.

Near the ceiling, balls of light floated.

All around us were people who glared at one another and ordered around waiters. They were haughty, their noses toward the sky, jaws set, scowls regularly appearing. Most, though not all, of them looked miserable, and I couldn’t help but wonder if I did too.

“Tell me about your day. How was it? Were they giving you a hard time again?” I asked, doing my best to focus. Talon’s hand went to his chin, rubbing at his growing facial hair and letting his eyes wander off.

“They don’t want me as a leader. I’m young, inexperienced, freshly graduated, and somewhat of a bad omen to them. No one has ever murdered a core, let alone three.”

I flinched, trying not to be obvious with my discomfort. He spoke so casually about it. I was jealous. When would I stop being plagued by the absence of my family? When would I heal?

“It just doesn’t look good. I think some of them believe that the Zades don’t deserve the power that we have.

That we can no longer justify our seat at the table.

” Blowing out a puff of air, he straightened up and grabbed his napkin, placing it on his lap.

“Regardless, they’re not fond of listening to me, but we got through a whole drill today without someone mouthing off, so that was good. ”

“I’m sorry, I wish they saw in you what I do.

You’re more than capable of leading them.

You’ve been raised for this your whole life.

” I reached over the table, grabbing his hand and squeezing it tight.

He looked so defeated and tired, but my one touch seemed to revive him.

He lit up, his smile once more wide, his eyes focused on me again—that amber gaze fiery and warm.

“You always make me feel better, Supernova.” He grabbed my hand and kissed the knuckles again, just as he did earlier, this time my cheeks heating at the act.

“Plus, it’s not like you don’t understand.

You of all people can relate. The two of us will prove them wrong time and time again, until they too wish they had seen in us what we see in each other. ”

I didn’t really believe that. They would accept Talon one day, that was a given.

He’d get older and wiser. He’d learn and grow.

The name Zade would never lose its importance or value—would never fade.

I, on the other hand, would never be accepted.

Even now, I could sense that they often talked around things during my observations of the council meetings, as if there was something I was not allowed to know.

When the time came for me to become general—if they even let me get that far—it would not be me they followed and respected, it would be Talon.

The server came to take our order, offering a thick piece of parchment with beautiful, long script that was almost difficult to read.

I picked the first thing my eyes caught, not really caring.

Talon was more precise, asking questions about sides, sauces, seasonings, and all of the things that I would’ve never been able to afford before.

In fact, I was relatively confident that some of those things my family and I had never tasted in our lives, and they never would, even though I was about to.

Quickly—suddenly—I lost my appetite.

“Oh, and please do bring a bottle of wine to the table. This is a special occasion,” Talon said, smiling at the waiter before turning away, looking back at me.

“Special occasion?” I inquired, raising one of my brows. What kind of special occasion could this have been?

Talon offered me a sly smirk, mischief in his face and secrets in his eyes.

“How exciting, a mystery.”

Must you be in my head right now?

“We’re always in your head. It’s such a perfectly heinous place to be.”

“Talon, is there something going on that I need to know?”

“Well, it’s been six months since…you know, and I think the both of us could use some relaxation. Plus, there are some other things that I do want to talk to you about.”

“Those are?” I asked, fearing the answer. Wishing I could avoid it at all costs. This sounded like a conversation about our future. Even though I knew it was inevitable, I still silently, secretly wished I could slow it down.