Page 44 of Above (Darkness Reigns #1)

Nova

“Celeste has been doing well on haya. Maybe it’s all in my head, but I swear she looks younger somehow. She’s so happy too, and the girl she’s been seeing is lovely. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever find someone too, but mostly I think I’m better off alone so I can focus on taking care of everyone.”

M aybe it was all the illusions of my family dying. Or perhaps it was the nightmares that manifested after said illusions. Either way, I missed them. Tonight, with Talon who knew where, I decided I would surprise them for dinner.

I knew it was wrong. That there was probably an unspoken rule not to leave the island.

While there must have been trainees with families that loved them, I did wonder if growing up around eadi somehow made me more grateful for my own.

As if the ticking time refused to allow me to squander even a moment.

Of course, I had wasted time with them before by purposefully sneaking in when they were sleeping. But I feared that seeing them would result in me admitting to my failure. Now though, I was far too desperate to care. I needed to see them.

So I had left Talon a note saying I would see him in the morning and was now walking toward the sea.

I didn’t need to, but I hoped the fresh air and vast expanse of water would calm my racing heart and rushing nerves.

It had been nearly two months since I had seen my family.

Would I look odd to them with my swirling black markings and my tired eyes full of horrors?

Would they still love me as they had before?

Their letters were normal, if not short.

But that was written words. This would be so much more.

With my mind lost, I had somehow made it all the way to the sandy beach without realizing, my eyes blinking with the sudden realization that I stood before the wide open water and shining moons, the stars glittering above—watching, as always.

When I finally focused, I caught sight of a figure, their body half submersed in the salty sea, a hooded cloak shielding them from prying eyes.

Every gush of water from a cresting wave sent their body swaying, sometimes nearly tipping.

Their shoulders were slumped forward, head tilted down, and I could have sworn they appeared more than willing to allow the waves to take them out into the open waters.

Could this be another trainee hoping to end the pain? We’d lost three more since the first.

Like I often did, I allowed my heart to lead instead of my mind.

My boots trudged through the sand, considering if my presence would help or hurt.

Sometimes I wondered if my survival would lead to others spiraling.

Why did I—an of eadi—continue on? How was it that I could be deemed worthy and survive when they so desperately clung to life?

It was an assumption, but from the dirty looks and loneliness, it wasn’t a hard one to make. I knew what they thought of me.

Yet, I still walked forward, unwilling to talk myself out of helping someone. This moment wasn’t about me. It was about them and whatever demons they fought. If I could help, then I needed to.

“Are you okay?” I asked, noting how the person’s head instantly lifted. But they didn’t speak. Nor did they turn. So I continued on. “Do you need any help?”

Closer I moved, now only a few feet away, until a gust of wind smelling of salt and spring shoved into me.

I stilled, the sand flying up and forcing me to shield my eyes with my arm, the leathers not enough to ward off the sudden chill.

When the wind had stopped, I moved my arm and was immediately punished with the sight of blonde hair, the shade looking like pure light beneath the glow of the stars and moons.

Altair.

Well, that was unfortunate. All that thought and stress for nothing.

Turning, I began making my slow walk toward the grassy area beyond so I could dust off, not wanting to bring a bunch of sand into the house and give Mama a heart attack.

That snake was not my problem. Let him drown himself.

At least then I’d have one less person to deal with.

One less murderer to fight off. I shouldn’t have attempted to save anyone.

All of the trainees other than Talon and the cores were, at best, uninterested in being too close to me for fear of being contaminated.

The cores only wanted to be around me because they hoped to kill me.

So, really, I was surrounded by hateful cowards. What did I care if they died?

I knew that wasn’t right though. I did care. I always would. That was part of the problem. I didn’t know how to stop the pulsing organ in my chest from guiding every decision I made.

A splash in the water stopped me in my tracks. Had he just done it? Dove under the water and ended himself? Despite my better judgment—again—I turned.

But, no, he had not gone under. Altair had only rotated and came forward, now only in knee-deep water.

I didn’t want to deal with him. Didn’t care to speak to him.

But there was an unsettling edge to the confused and pointed look he was giving me.

His eyes were ever so slightly scrunched, lids appearing heavy.

Both pale brows were so tightly knitted together that they almost appeared to be one.

A slight frown was tugging at the corners of his mouth, revealing those deep dimples on his cheeks.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked, unwilling to go without knowing. Crossing my arms and leaning onto my left leg, I waited, not sure he would offer the answer.

“What?” he asked, voice impossibly heavy and slow for only saying one word. Again he stared, so clearly confused. Did he somehow not recognize me? I was wearing my cloak, but even with my hood on my hair dominated the space, peeking out and making me hard to miss. Was he drunk?

“Are you okay? What are you doing?” I stupidly questioned. Why, I didn’t even know. I didn’t care. Still, I stood there, my head tilting as I looked at him.

In a surprisingly earnest way, he lifted some sort of glass bottle and replied, “Drowning my woes, Tershetta. Haven’t you ever done that?”

So he did recognize me.

I took a guess that he meant drinking and not truly drowning, but who knew.

“Thankfully, no. A bit too expensive for me. Haven’t got the coin to spare.

” At that, he seemed shocked, his jaw slackening and brows rising.

Maybe that was what being rich was like.

Not knowing others couldn’t afford things you didn’t think twice about splurging on.

It had never seemed that way with wealthy eadi, but maybe that was because they knew how lucky they were.

“Well, I’ll leave you to drown yourself in liquor and the sea. ”

“I’m not going to kill myself.”

“Oh sure, definitely not what it looked like. Can’t talk, sorry, I’m running late.”

He took a large step toward me, now nearly out of the water, the movement of his body somehow menacing in its stiffness.

I froze in place, whatever lighthearted and sarcastic mood that had existed between us moments before gone.

In its place resided something dark and consuming.

A feeling that terrified me more than I was willing to admit.

Which was why I forced my breathing to slow and my face to remain calm, not showing him what he might capitalize on.

“I could kill you,” he muttered, his tone off. Dull and almost unsure. “I should kill you. You’re better off that way. Dead.”

“Yes, yes, so you’ve said many times,” I groaned, annoyance mingling with the fear within me.

“Honestly, I’m a little tired of hearing you say that all the time when I’m still here, standing.

Miraculously, the only time I came close to death, you chose to save me.

I’m starting to wonder if maybe you don’t want me dead after all. ”

That wasn’t true. I knew he wanted me dead—had a feeling that he wanted it to be by his hands.

A spectacle. Something that would further push the false belief that of eadi were mistakes.

That we didn’t belong in the elites. He wouldn’t waste the chance to prove himself.

He was smart, conniving, cunning, and desperate for redemption.

With his father so clearly falling from grace, he had a lot to prove.

“All you do is ruin this place. You ruin everything. For everyone.”

“Do you mean all of eadi? Or are you specifically talking about me? And who am I ruining everything for? All the shaytan? The elites? The trainees?” A growl of what had to be rage freed itself from the cage of his mouth, sounding more beast than person.

I didn’t stop though, not when I was finally getting to him.

“Or is it you in particular I am affecting? Has the precious prince of shaytan found himself suddenly alone and realized that he’s nothing more than a self-appointed figurehead just waiting to be knocked over? ”

When he merely stared at me, unmoving other than the grind of his jaw I could see from my place feet away, his fists clenched at his sides and water soaking him from the waist down, I knew I had struck true.

He wasn’t worth any more breath, not when he now knew that someone saw him for what he really was.

“Goodbye, Snake. Remember not to swim when you go under.”

“I already said I’m not going to kill myself.”

“Maybe you should. You’ll never live up to those expectations of yours. Regardless, I have somewhere to be.” I turned, walking away, proud of myself for once.

I heard him sloshing around and, at first, didn’t acknowledge exactly what he was doing.

That was, until the pounding of his footsteps on the sand—the dry sand—hit my ears.

I whipped around in time to see him lunging for me.

He grabbed me, his hands gripping my neck and jaw, holding me tightly as he shadow walked us.