Page 58 of Above (Darkness Reigns #1)

Nova

“People in the shops always say that shaytan are evil. I try not to take it to heart, but I can’t stop myself from fearing that I’ll be evil one day too.”

O ur morning run included target practice now.

We were instructed what to focus on and told to shove out our magic, the goal to hit the target.

We also emphasized magical weaponry, each of us figuring out what we preferred through trial and error.

I had already known I favored the shadow chains—especially when it felt like I was using the shackles so many had placed on me to tear them all apart—but I quickly grew to love them.

After working with Talon, I had figured out a way to wrap them around my arms, waiting for use. It required a difficult amount of focus, but I was determined as we darted through the damp forest, targets shaped like people appearing out of no where at any given moment.

Again and again, I would be startled by the appearance of a target, nearly panicking before whipping my chains toward it. Each time, I sliced straight through them. Each time, I feared what I was becoming.

At the end of our run, Talon backtracked to find me, a broad smile on his face. “Someone’s getting faster.”

“Yeah, I can’t even keep up with her now,” Zura teased, her breaths coming in heavy pants as she walked up to us.

We were all sweaty, the air thick and hot. I hated being too near people, but if I was going to be forced into anyone’s company, it would be their’s. The two people here who seemed to actually be kind and worthy of the blessing given to them.

Around us, other trainees took a few moments to collect themselves before heading off.

Few stared now, their judgement reserved for moments when it was only me around to face the scrutiny.

Still, they were so very close to us, and I felt bare beneath their glances and my own hateful inner voice.

The one that screamed I had become the monster who used to haunt me in the night.

“Seems like working me to the bone is paying off,” I teased, nudging Talon, attempting to ward off my negative thoughts. His eyes lit up, a teasing look flattening his smile and scrunching his cheeks.

“Oh, you haven’t seen anything yet, Supernova.” With that, he ducked low and shoved into my stomach, tossing me up until I landed on his shoulder with a huff. Giggling—unlike me in the oddest of ways —I smashed my fists into his back as he spun us around.

“Let me go you crazy bear!” I yelped. After a second, he stopped, sliding me slowly down his body before letting my feet touch the grass. But he didn’t let me go, instead leaving one arm around me while using the other hand to grab my chin and tilt my face up.

“I have to go to a combatants meeting, but I’ll meet you in our room with breakfast after?” He seemed to ask the words, still seeking my permission.

With a soft smile, I nodded as much as his hand would allow, feeling my cheeks heat.

He looked striking today with his hair loose and his soft brown skin glistening in the early dawn sunlight.

Maybe it would never be like Mama and Dad, but I could live like this for however long he wished. Being loved by Talon wasn’t a burden.

In a softer, more scandalous tone he said, “And I’d like to show you just how hard I can really work you.”

Groaning, I shoved him away, enjoying the sound of his booming laugh as he winked and then ran through the dwindling crowd toward the training center.

“Wow,” Zura breathed. I turned around, surprised to see her awed expression.

“What?”

“That man loves you so much, Nova.” Her jaw was slack, eyes blinking rapidly.

Stunned, I scrunched my nose and waved her off. “I don’t know about that.”

“No, I’m serious. Talon looks at you like you hung all three moons. Actually, wait, that’s not right. He looks at you as if you’re the stars themselves.”

“Zura, are you going to turn out to be one of those hopeless romantics? If so, I’ve got a few smutty book recommendations for you.” She laughed, shaking her head and following me toward the dining hall.

“Definitely give me the book. Seriously though, he’s giving up a lot to be with you. I mean, think about it. Everything he’s been raised to believe exists in exact contradiction to you. Choosing you means denouncing all that the cores stand for.”

I stiffened, unable to take another step. Zura walked on, still speaking for a moment before realizing I had stopped. She dashed back to me, her eyes wide and panicked.

“I’m so sorry, Nova, I wasn’t trying to say anything rude!”

Did she say something horribly true though?

If Talon chose to be with me, would he then need to completely cut off his family?

I knew his mother was mad, as was his father.

Dove tried to kill me. His friends threatened me.

They said he needed to stop before he was killed.

I hadn’t taken it seriously because I always imagined us parting ways after this, but what if we didn’t stop?

Yes, Talon was giving up everything for me. And I was just letting him.

“I’m an awful person, aren’t I?” Rhetorical as it was, Zura was still quick to disagree.

“Absolutely not! You’re a person with feelings and a heart.

There isn’t anything wrong with letting that guide you sometimes.

” Was that what I was doing? Letting my heart lead the way?

It didn’t feel like it. Rather, it felt more like letting Talon’s heart guide me.

“Plus, he’s a grown man. He can make his own decisions.

You don’t get to hold guilt for his choices. ”

While I knew she was right, I was still slow to speak after that, my head pounding and my teeth grinding into my lips, tearing off layers until they bled.

My fingers instinctively rubbed together, my skin feeling like it was infested with bugs.

My free hand went to my necklace, twirling it relentlessly. The nerves were getting the best of me.

By the time I got to our room, all I could do was sit and wait.

So I grabbed my academy text on alchemy and reread the passages about crystallization.

So far, I had been unable to get one ingredient in enough surplus that I’d be able to craft three, but otherwise I was fairly confident I could make the crystals.

Not that it mattered when my mind was drowning beneath the pummeling waves of guilt.

“I got you the last chocolate danish!” Talon cheered as he burst through the door about half an hour later. I was still on my bed, in perfect view of his face as he beamed down at me. So proud. So happy. So utterly doomed. “What’s wrong?”

“After we graduate, what happens?” Talon’s lips pursed, his brows knitting together as he walked over to me and sat on the bed.

“We become elites.”

“Yes, but what about you? Will your family punish you for being with me?” For some reason I couldn’t fathom, Talon’s face lit up like the bright glow of magic. He was radiant as he stared at me, his amber eyes flitting between mine and a smile slowly growing.

“Supernova, are you suggesting that we’ll still be together after academy?”

“What? No. I don’t know. I’m scared of what they’ll—what are you doing?” I asked as he set the ceramic plate down on my bed and grabbed my face.

“We’ll figure it out.”

“Seriously, Talon, we have to think this through. Your family will never approve. My family needs me to fight for them. We’re practically from two separate worlds.”

“Yet you’re picturing a future together. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be worried right now.” He leaned in, our lips only inches apart. I shook my head, his hold making it hard. “Don’t lie to me now.”

His fingers slipped into my hair, getting lost in the curls.

I groaned, wishing I hadn’t found myself growing comfortable here.

In his arms and in his heart. A better person would walk away, but for the first time in my life, someone loved me for everything I was rather than despite what I could never be.

“All I ask of you is to let me be here, at your side, while you shine. Just let me stay here. Let me love you,” he murmured, leaning in and kissing my lips leisurely. When he pulled away, he whispered, “I’ll do such a good job at it.”

Talon’s lips lowered to my jaw, peppering kisses down and down until he landed at the patch of skin where my neck met my shoulder. His teeth marred me there, a sharp bite of pain that he soothed with his tongue.

“Please, let me show you how good I can be,” he murmured, his breath cooling the wet skin and making me shiver.

My movement pulled a groan from his throat, and he released my face to instead part my legs, his body finding home between them.

His mouth continued its descent, his teeth and fingers tugging at my training wear. Stripping me bare one inch at a time.

“I’m sweaty and smelly,” I argued, feeling the warmth pool between my legs and wishing I could stop it. We were meant to be having a serious conversation for stars’ sake.

“Yet you taste so good,” he moaned, letting his tongue trail across one of my hardened nipples, the action sending a jolt of pleasure through me. He was getting better at understanding my body—at hearing its silent pleas and reading its invisible words.

His arms wrapped around my thighs, his nose gliding past my belly button.

“I love you,” he cooed. I didn’t know what to say back. Not when I was relatively sure I could never love him like he loved me. Or with the worries of his safety on my mind. But Talon didn’t wait for my response before pressing his face between my legs and offering one firm, slow lick.

A cry of pleasure tipped past my teeth and over my lip, the sound like simmering tea as it rose. He smiled against me, using his tongue and teeth to force from me the love he so deeply wanted and deserved.

“Tell me you love me too, Supernova. Give me yourself,” he ordered as he slipped two fingers inside of me. I yelled from the immediate ecstasy, tiny black dots dancing across my vision. “I’ll take care of everything else. Just tell me you love me.”

Shaking my head, I gripped the sheets, unable to stop my body from moving with his thrusts. I met him there, slamming into him but still not saying the words. Because I couldn’t. I shouldn’t. Not when I knew I loved him in a vastly different way than he loved me.

A fierce growl vibrated against my clit as he dove forward again, sucking so hard I yelped at the stinging pain.

His fingers and tongue worked in tandem, moving so fast that I struggled to do anything but cry out as I climbed to the peak of my pleasure.

When Talon added a third finger, I shattered around him.

“That’s it, cum for me,” he demanded, pumping his fingers three more times before standing and nearly tearing off his clothes. In moments he was naked, his russet skin painted with black. His cock was hard and proud, the swirls there so thin and intricate.

Unceremoniously, he sat on the bed, lifted my torso, forced up my hips, and then shoved me down onto him.

He filled me, consumed me, devoured me. Each of his thrusts were hard and precise, his hands lifting and pulling me so that I met him head on.

Scandalous wet sounds echoed off our walls, a sort of animalistic tone that made my mind spin.

“Tell me you love me,” he demanded again, his anger rising at my refusal. With his teeth bared, he grabbed me by the neck and forced me onto my back, his face only inches from mine as he continued to fuck me so hard the bed groaned in protest. “Say it now, baby. Tell me you love me.”

Something was building inside of me, a feeling that was nothing like an orgasm. One that scared me.

“Now, Nova!” he yelled.

“I love you!” I finally screamed back, becoming dizzy as another orgasm hit me like crashing waves, pairing both perfectly and terribly with his own as he pulled out of me and let his release pour across my skin.

Our breaths were heavy, his smile a contradiction to my frown.

“I love you too, Supernova. I’m going to take such good care of you.”

That night, the intels came back, each trainee looking haggard as they stepped into the training center. The rest of us stood at attention, our heads held high as we awaited their final report.

“Trainee Elders, report your findings,” Captain Zade boomed.

Quinn Elders stepped forward, his face stoic. “No magic exists within the people of planet nine-three-four. They hold no knowledge or resources that stand to benefit us. No aspect of the planet presents any opportunities for Dajahim.”

My body froze, mind dashing miles and miles forward.

No magic, no assets, no need. Would we spare them then, now that we knew without a doubt they were of no use to us? It was the reasonable choice.

“Trainees!” General Altair shouted from his place beside Captain Zade. We all readied, eager to hear what he would say. “Are you willing to entertain the stars at all costs?”

“Sir yes sir!” We bellowed back.

“What if the cost is your morals? Your will? Your very soul?” He asked, moving to stand in front of our group. “Will you pay it?”

We were so far from reasonable or fair.

“Sir yes sir!” We screamed in answer.

A queasy feeling overcame me, my stomach twisting and turning. Perhaps today would be the day I said goodbye to my humanity once and for all.