Page 30 of Above (Darkness Reigns #1)

Nova

“My favorite quote from The Tale of an Eadi Princess is, ‘Justice is often viewed as subjective, for we all seek different ends and outcomes. In reality, justice is one objective truth: the fair and ethical treatment of all.’ I wish I could tell the kids at school about it, but Mama says the book is a secret, because they banned it thousands of years ago. What kind of monsters banned books, I’ll never know.

Oh wait, I do know. The core families, of course. ”

T alon moved me into his room that morning, our training postponed in favor of healing me. Once I was deemed “good enough,” the arguing began.

“I’ll kill them all, I fucking swear.” Relentlessly, he paced in front of where I sat on his bed, hands behind his back and brows pinched.

I had stopped attempting to talk him down ten minutes before, but I was still adamantly against any retaliation at the moment, especially with my head pounding and my thoughts too loud.

Why had they done it? What would my death do for them?

Of course, my presence alone was antagonistic, but they hadn’t tried anything before.

Could it have been because of Talon? Had Dove done it to stop her brother from further angering their parents?

Was Priya in love with him and didn’t want me around? Or was it something deeper?

Pragmatism evaded me as I considered another option.

Maybe Zade and Otarn had attacked me because they saw me as a threat. Hadn’t I just been considering the benefit of the black phase putting our class of trainees on the same level?

“You’re not killing your sister, Talon.” All pacing ceased at once, his body seeming to sink in on itself.

Then he turned toward me and crumpled at my feet.

First, his face landed on my lap, which was followed closely by the cold sensation of his hands on my arms. Being touched so soon after being assaulted made my skin crawl, but who was I to deny him anything after he saved me?

“I would do it for you, Nova,” he mumbled into my thigh, his body vibrating as his left leg began to shake.

I was no stranger to pleasure and what one would do for it, but I couldn’t deny that every decision Talon made confused me.

He didn’t act as if that was all he wanted.

Any other man would have slid his hand lower.

They would demand payment for their generosity.

At the least, a normal person would expect reciprocated feelings.

Which begged the question. What did he stand to gain with all of this?

“She’s your blood. Your family. Thinking like you are doesn’t help anyone, especially you.

What would your parents say? Or the rest of the core families?

” Tightly, I held his chin, forcing him to look into my eyes, though the action felt wrong after what Altair had done to me.

“Most importantly, you’d never be able to live with yourself.

Vengeance means nothing in the face of loss. ”

Plus, I didn’t want to be the reason he did something like that. The payment for such a thing had to be higher than I could afford—maybe even more than I was willing to give.

Slowly, almost as if a great weight held him down, Talon lifted his head, his amber eyes meeting mine.

A sizzle of magic kissed my skin as his palm pressed to my cheek.

Of all people in this wretched place, he was the only I could trust, but still I flinched at his touch.

I became increasingly aware of the difference between eadi and shaytan—between those raised to survive and those bred to kill.

“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you, Supernova.” A hush overtook his voice, like the loudness he had previously showcased had stolen all the volume he possessed. “I am determined to get you to the finish line. All I ask is that you let me stay at your side.”

Talon didn’t lean in. Didn’t move his hand to my breast. Wasn’t begging for my submission. He just wanted my nearness. That, of all things, I could give him.

“Okay.”

Apparently I was sentenced to the room, because Talon went out of his way to provide me with both parchment and graphite for writing letters home while he went and collected our breakfast. In his words, “You’re far too busy to go eat in the dining hall.”

Please.

Still, I appreciated the alone time. Not only because I was fairly sure I had somehow agreed to being in a relationship with the core, but also so that I could once again do a heinous, awful thing.

My head smacked into the bed as my crawling momentarily ceased. Stars, that fucking hurt. Finding this journal had been difficult the first time, but now, as I was still somewhat disoriented and undeniably exhausted, it was nearly impossible.

While Talon’s bed was huge, it wasn’t very tall. I wasn’t quite sure how he managed to get under there and find that spot. My hand finally found the loose wooden panel, fingers digging into the cracks and tugging it up. There, lying safely inside, was the leather bound book.

Calling onto my stars, I lit the cramped space, opening the book and frantically flipping through the pages.

Dates flashed by, each bringing me closer to the night before.

The parchment pieces were loud as they scraped against one another, a slight musky smell coating the area and invading my senses.

Then, miraculously, there it was, written with a neat and precise hand leisurely scrawling one of the shortest passages in the entire journal.

Nova is making improvements every day, and I’m starting to watch the vision come to life.

She is extraordinary. I have a feeling that Az sees that too.

Maybe even the others as well. I’m terrified of what they will do to take her out of the picture.

Everything she is and can be puts them at risk in their eyes, but I see the truth.

Every time she smiles my way or offers me a dry joke, I see it.

With each new quirk she shows me, like the way she picks at the skin on her lips or rubs her thumb against the back of her pointer finger, I see it.

All the moments when she tightens her jaw and stands tall, I see it.

In Nova, I see a future I had never allowed myself to consider.

A part of me wonders if I should explain that to the others.

Pri, Cal, Quinn, and Dove would understand.

They would see what I do if I took the time to show them.

Az though…he would never understand. He’d only kill her where she stood.

Slowly, with measure and thought and wicked satisfaction.

Which is why, for now, she’s only mine. Sharing her too soon would only lead to chaos.

What did he mean? Was he seeing some sort of brighter future for us than I was?

If I were being honest with myself, I didn’t want a future with Talon.

While I had once dreamed of a beautiful life filled with love and laughter, I no longer saw that as a possibility.

Definitely not with Talon, who seemed too eager to shape and mold me. To fix me if he could.

Sighing, I replaced the journal, taking care to make the scene look just as I had left it and vowing never to look again. When I was sure it appeared untouched, I made my way out, scooting backward like a lunatic until I was free of the overly large bed.

The pounding in my temples, making everything feel far more heavy and difficult than it usually did, began to intensify. So I grabbed the graphite and parchment, then shuffled to the bed, crashing down with a newfound love of the ridiculous thing.

My bag was set against the wooden bedside table, so I was forced to reach down and sort through it as I hung there.

First I grabbed a tonic for my head from the front pocket, downing it like a starved animal.

Then I opened the largest compartment. Near the top was Celeste’s letter, which I had avoided reading for the last two days.

I feared what she felt required privacy.

Starlight,

I miss you. So, so much. I hate that you left with us on bad terms, but I want you to know that I’ve been keeping my promise.

Mama, Dad, and I each take our haya doses as you instructed.

I’ll warn you though, it’s destroying Dad.

He hasn’t gotten out of bed in nearly four days.

Mama and I take turns feeding him broth, but his cough has worsened tenfold.

Death keeps him company often, much to his displeasure.

He says she has evil eyes. I told him that only a creature made for Nova could. He got a kick out of that.

What I’m really writing to you about isn’t the haya or Death or even Dad.

I just… I want you to see what I do. To face the world head-on so you can understand why I so desperately hate it.

We aren’t safe, Nova, and we won’t be unless things change.

What sort of life is this? Sitting around, waiting to be slaughtered or worked to death?

I can’t find love because I’ll outlive any good woman.

I can’t do art because Mama needs help in the apothecary.

I can’t even move away, because how would I survive? I can’t do anything because of them.

I keep asking myself, will silence be my legacy? I won’t live as long as a shaytan. I don’t have magic like you. I don’t have money like the core families. But I have a voice. It might be the only thing I have of value. And yet, I’ve been silent for fifty-two years. We both have.

Maybe its time for you and I to be loud.

The letter ended there, as if the weight of such words required being the final passage.

They were heavy, so much so that I could have sworn the parchment was too much to bear.

Which was why I let it fall, watching as it dove towards the ground in sweeping arcs before landing softly upon the hardwood.

My eyes struggled to look away, as if it might disappear, or worse, be found.

Cuddling deeper into Zade’s blood red blankets, I pulled a thin plank of wood I had found to write on, lined up my parchment, and began.

Heavens,

I miss you too. I wish I had better words for how hard life is without you three (and a half). Don’t tell Mama and Dad, but I fear I might not make it through academy alive. It’s because of that daunting fact that I am willing to say this to you.

You cannot change the world.

Harsh as that may sound, I need you to hear it. I have seen what the cores can do. Even worse, I have seen what they will do. Preserving their way of life means everything to them, and your resistance could lead to danger for us all.

Pausing, I reread my words, hating how complacent I sounded. But really, what else was I if not a part of the regime that Celeste so deeply loathed?

No. I was not like the cores. That I knew.

Give me until the end of Elite Academy. Let me work hard to come home to you all and be a part of whatever you are planning. Because, while I don’t think we can change Dajahim, maybe we can make it better in smaller ways.

I love you, big sister. Stay safe.

Nova

With a heavy sigh, I reached down into my bag and grabbed my sack of wages for the last month.

It was more than I would have made in a year as a mere grunt.

A lifetime of better was just ahead if I could push on.

Slowly, I folded the parchment into the shape of a bird, demanding my magic make it fly.

Within seconds, it was flapping its wings, readying to find its mark.

A sound came from the doorway, Talon slipping inside before placing his hand on the door and whispering to it. I paid him no mind, facing the creature above me.

“Take this to my family,” I murmured, holding out the small burlap sack until the bird took it in its beak and darted out the window. With a sense of terror and deep-rooted melancholy, I watched it fly home.