Page 39 of Above (Darkness Reigns #1)

Nova

“Mama got mad at me today. I was tired after morning duty and fell asleep at home. Which ended up leading to me missing my entire shift and her having to work it. When she yelled at me, I told her I wished I had a shaytan family instead. I don’t know why I said what I said, but I didn’t mean it. I swear I didn’t mean it.”

N o one was allowed to take a day off after that initial illusion.

Medics had soothed us and then placed us in our respective rooms, not even allowing us to stay in the infirmary.

Though, from my understanding, every single trainee apart from the cores—Talon excluded—had needed serious help.

Why Talon had suffered so immensely when the other five hadn’t was beyond me.

I had attempted to bring it up to him, but I was only ever offered silence or changed topics.

The same thing I afforded him when he asked about us.

Since then, we had all fared far better in our illusions, which occurred once a week.

Physical training still ruled our early mornings, followed by division work.

Captain Dofrel had taken over for her husband, and it seemed she was just as adamant about hating my filthy of eadi guts, which meant I was often the last to receive instruction on every brew we concocted.

When I received Alchemy Rising , our text for our daily sessions with the captain, she had dropped it before my hand had time to snag it, forcing me to bend over and pick it up, trying my best to flatten the worn and faded pages that had bent.

The action had me thinking about Altair, who also seemed to have a bad habit of assaulting books—and me. Luckily, he hadn’t been as bold lately.

Despite her clear distaste for me, I was still doing the best out of Captain Dofrel’s group of four, even helping her son every once in a while.

When I was feeling generous, that was. Plus, I loved watching the captain’s bronze face redden when I grabbed her son’s hand and helped him stir the contents of his black cauldron.

She nearly pulled her sandy hair out of her head the first time.

After our hefty lunch, we would then attend classes for the remainder of the day in the schoolhouse.

First we learned about history, taught by the elites from the Education Division.

Every text we had carried up the mountain that first evening came in handy as we learned more and more about not only the history of the elites and the worlds they conquered, but also about life before magic.

This surprised me, because the only one I had ever heard talk of such times was Dad when he told us stories of old, and he rarely did that anymore.

What I wasn’t taken aback by was their choice to frame Dajahim pre-magic as monstrous.

Our ancestors had once been at constant war with one another, people dying every day.

In other words, exactly like today, except now we pretended it was peace.

Clearly, Celeste’s letters were really getting to me.

While some of the history got under my skin, other parts were fascinating.

We learned about the dead languages that had faded when our sole continent survived, some I had never heard of in my quest for knowledge over the last few decades.

Even better, we were afforded unique opportunities to learn of the beings on the planets we would go on to conquer—their fate nauseating after falling in love with their cultures.

Some part of me deep down felt guilty for reveling in their customs and traditions when we had made the choice to slaughter.

We had stolen more than just their lives, but their very existence.

But I tried to push away that irritating voice.

How wrong could it be if the stars deemed it necessary?

We were only doing what they wished—entertaining them no matter the costs.

At least, that was what I told myself on nights I struggled to sleep and ended up reading on the sandy beach or working relentlessly in my lab.

After dinner we had one last lesson. This one was the most important, as it prepared us for our weekly illusions.

We spent thirty minutes with an intel, letting them feed off our minds and attempting to learn how to shove them out.

I had begun to picture my mind as a library, each book something the alghaz was attempting to open and decipher.

My goal was to force every tome to remain on its shelf.

It was always painful, but Talon and I had both agreed that with each day, we grew stronger.

By the second week, neither of us shook or cried.

During my third illusion, I was able to remind myself that it was all fake for the first half.

That time, I had slaughtered my entire class of trainees, only to then be beaten to death by the six cores.

It was horrific, but I had managed to stay awake after, the imaginary broken bones and fatal wounds not enough to steal my consciousness.

Two days into our third week of the black phase, I got word from Celeste that Dad was on the mend.

I sat there, in my small bed that Talon had brought into his room, and penned a response.

Talon had gotten me new blankets, the rich shade of green like an emerald that lost its glow and instead fell into darkness.

It was the very first time I had ever received something wholly new that wasn’t my elite attire—apart from my necklace, which I nervously twirled as I considered the core boy.

Despite my efforts, I trusted Talon. Liked him, even.

Shaking the thought out of my head, I picked up my charcoal and began to write, my mind flooding with thoughts of Celeste meeting with strangers in the night.

Celeste,

You have no idea how incredible that news is to hear. How is his cough? I can make some more syrup here at the academy and send it to you. I know Mama prefers to naturally source, but I promise these ingredients are the best quality.

How are you feeling? Have you been finding time for yourself?

I miss you. Sometimes I think about when we were young, running through the house when it still felt new, screaming as Mama and Dad chased us.

Remember when Dad found that book on animals for me?

The faded one that still had creatures from the old world?

I swear we all acted like gorillas for weeks before it got old.

Before we got old. Before everything went wrong.

Sorry, I don’t mean to make this letter sad. I just miss you all.

One month to go.

I love you.

Nova

It was all I could do to fold the parchment and order it home before I burst into silent tears.

Talon shuffled in his bed, the sound of the wood creaking catching my attention. Soles of bare feet hit the floor.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

And then I felt my bed sink under the weight of another body.

“Hey, Supernova,” he whispered as he settled beneath my blankets, the warmth of his breath sending tingling bugs scurrying beneath my skin, inching so close to my chest I thought they might eat my heart.

His arm slowly encircled my waist, my face pointing down and his pointing my way. Bugs crawling and burrowing.

I wished he’d stop.

I wished I’d tell him to.

I let him anyways.

I owed him so much. Everything. Anything. A debt unpaid was terrifying like that.

“Want to tell me what’s on your mind? I noticed you haven’t been sneaking away at night as much.” Was he closer now? Yes, he must have been, because I could feel his thighs against mine, his nose brushing against my hair.

What to tell him was the question. He had never outright asked where I was going since the first time he helped me. Never had I felt the need to explain. Excuses and lies bubbled and burst inside my head, screaming answers at me that I couldn’t manage to speak aloud. So I went with the truth.

“I’ve been trying to find a way to give my family magic,” I mumbled, waiting for a response.

When none came, I rambled on. “Just bits of mine, or maybe something to extend their lives to the length of my own. Preferably the former though. I’ve been experimenting on different formulas for an elixir, but I’m struggling to extract the magic from myself.

It seems that only forbidden magic will do the trick, and—”

“Forbidden magic?” Talon gasped, rearing back. Something inside of me revelled in the absence of his nearness. “Nova, you have to be kidding. Giving them magic? That’s blasphemous! It goes against everything we believe. Everything we are. You’re practically spitting on the stars!”

“I’m not,” I hissed, anger burning the bugs as it boiled my blood.

“They are the ones that decide who gets magic and who doesn’t.

They’re the almighty darkness above. How could you even think to do something like that?

” He was angry too, I could tell by the way he nearly growled the vitriol.

“Besides, they would never make that possible. Not when it’s what ensures our cooperation in maintaining their entertainment. ”

“Oh, please! Have you ever once considered that we are capable of more and the stars are just waiting for us to realize? Or maybe they choose wrong and hope that someone will be smart enough to correct their error? Not everything is so black and white.” I sat up, uninterested in being comfortable as we fought.

Talon followed suit, equally furious, but for all the wrong reasons.

“You just need to accept that your parents and sister weren’t worthy of magic. That the stars know better. You spend too much time worrying about them and not nearly enough time focusing on yourself.”

“For your information,” I seethed, pointing my finger toward him, the light he had crafted flickering like a candle as his emotions got the best of him, sending long shadows across the walls. “My parents didn’t get the chance to even ask for magic on their twenty-fifth birthdays.”

He only scoffed, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes like a petulant child who wasn’t getting their way. But I wasn’t having it. Not today, when Dad was finally on the mend.

“Do you know how lucky you have to be to have the time to travel across the stars-forsaken continent? Do you know how wealthy you have to be to afford it even if you do have the time? Do you know how privileged you have to be to have a say in whether or not you must work during that time?” Then I was standing, my feet pacing back and forth, my eyes catching sight of him standing as well.

He didn’t understand. How could he?

How couldn’t he? That sounded an awful lot like Celeste echoing in my mind. And she was fucking right.

Abruptly I stilled, turning to face him, my face heating and my skin buzzing.

“How can you not see that the cards are stacked against eadi everywhere? It’s your kind and your horrid, disgusting values that determine whether so many eadi do or do not get magic! That choose whether eadi live or die! You!”

“Okay, hold on. I see what you mean about your parents. But your sister didn’t get magic for a reason.” His hands were lifted, but still he talked as if in battle. Twisting and warping his words to cut like blades. “Maybe that’s a sign that your parents wouldn’t have either.”

“No, you don’t understand then. Once again, you have failed to see the point. Has it flown over your head, Talon? Should I fetch it for you like a good little eadi dog?”

“Don’t talk like that. You know I don’t think of you as any less than me.”

“It’s a startling advantage and, again, privilege to have the time to prove to the stars that you can be entertaining! To possess the energy and ability that you need to show you are deserving of magic!”

“You did it,” he stated, shrugging. “You proved that you are worthy.”

Stars if it did not enrage me further.

“I am them!” I screamed, losing every ounce of shame or fear.

My hands flew to my chest, slamming into the place where my heart was.

Where my family was. “They are me. I am a product of everything that they are and everything that they wanted me to become. If not them, then why me? If me, then why not them?”

Talon had no response to that. He only sat down, his face losing all emotion. For some reason, it settled me, seeing him give in like that.

“The stars make mistakes all the time. Either I’m the error, or they are. And I refuse to believe it’s me when the stars have proven time and time again that they believe in my ability to be of use.”

For what felt like ages, the two of us stewed in the silence, marinated in it until I could have sworn I smelled it on my body. The shame mingled with the fury. I had yelled at my only ally, and he had outright decided that my family was not worth saving. Nothing more could be said.

“I’m exhausted, Supernova. Can we just agree that right now our priority must be getting you out of this academy alive? We have time to figure out the rest.” His voice was a broken plea, though there was still a hint of aggravation in the tone.

No, there wasn’t time. But he wouldn’t know that. He never asked about my family. Didn’t care to understand them. He, like everyone else, wrote them off. So I stood there, my arms crossed and my scowl firmly on my face, and said nothing.

Eventually, Talon sighed and nodded, getting out of my bed and then sinking into his own. I watched as he rolled over, not even willing the light out of existence before soft snores ensued. Not so offended he couldn’t sleep then.

Groaning, I got back into my bed, torn between wishing I could take back what I said and wanting to wake him up so I could scream it even louder.

Suddenly, I felt something crawling on my arm. No, slinking. Slithering. I yelped, throwing back my blanket to reveal a piece of parchment shaped like a snake, the thing gliding toward me as if saying hello. Breathing out a curse, I grabbed it and began unfolding.

What a loud lovers quarrel. Do consider a silencing ward next time you wish to scream nonsense. I’d much rather hear your moans, and that’s saying something. I do wonder though, Little Void, when will you realize what he actually thinks of you?

I shredded the note, wishing it were Altair’s flesh.