Page 59 of Above (Darkness Reigns #1)

Azazel

“Talon isn’t speaking to me. I don’t know why he’s mad, but Father says I need to stop caring about everyone else and focus on getting the stars. I should listen to him, I know that, but I can’t help feeling betrayed. Hurt. Unworthy.”

T hroughout the evening we had begun preparing for our shadow walk to planet nine-three-four, stopping only for us to get enough sleep to be useful. As dawn arrived, we were ready.

Each trainee would act as the primary line for their divisions, leading the mission fully.

I had worked hard to plot where our attacks would begin, mostly focusing on their military powers.

This world was odd in its choice to have separate militaries even within their separate countries.

It weakened them, though it also spread us thin.

While it wouldn’t be simple, I was fairly confident it would be easy. We had the element of surprise on our side, and we were far better equipped to fight.

“We’ll shadow walk in the predetermined squads,” I ordered, pointing at the map of the planet that one of the cartographers held up.

“Each strategist trainee will take point, and the combatant trainees will follow, as well as the elites in the two divisions. We move seamlessly and without hesitation, which will allow us to gain control without loss of life. There is no clear cut way to do this. While we’ve run our drills, the likelihood you’ll rely on instinct is much higher. Be smart, be vigilant, and be quick.”

Everyone nodded, their eyes not leaving mine. It felt good to stand there before them, leading as I was certainly always meant to. A throat cleared somewhere in the back, demanding my attention. With only a glance I knew exactly who it was.

“Make sure you’re all ready.” With that, I waved them off, turning to the right and waiting for Father to approach. His eyes were on me, pale hair combed back and black leathers on. He had no weapons, nor did he wear his mask. The general wouldn’t be coming then.

“Son,” he offered, acknowledging my presence officially. I nodded, standing at attention and waiting for whatever demand or order he’d place upon me. That’s how it always was with him. “Follow me.”

Rare was it that Father held me in any way. Even as a child I never seemed worthy of affection. However, he broke the pattern as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and spoke quietly to me.

“The time has come for the akhata to die, Azazel.” I didn’t dare look at him, not wanting to show the surprise that his hissed words caused me.

“I thought we were waiting until graduation? Won’t doing it now hinder our plight?”

“I no longer care. When the trash doesn’t take itself out, then you do it yourself,” he sneered.

How I wished I could understand what she had done to push him over this edge.

We had both known she would serve as a tool, but we needed her to be our tool, not anyone else’s.

“Nova Tershetta is not to come back to Dajahim. No matter what. Under no circumstances should she survive this mission.”

Nodding, I mumbled, “Yes, Father.”

“Good.” With that he left, not bothering to offer a goodluck or goodbye.

Huffing, I practically stomped my way to Cal and Priya. And who was there to intercept me but the akhata fucker himself. The one who drew so much stars-damned attention to her. Who made it my problem. Who made her my problem.

My fists were balled, the culmination of so much aggravation, confusion, and fury with my old best friend rising. “What do you want, Talon?”

“I saw you with your father,” he seethed. “What are you two planning?”

“That’s not really any of your business.” I waved him off, trying to get space before I did something truly dumb. “I don’t ask you what you and your father plot behind the backs of my family.”

“Yeah, well, it seems like you fucking my mother,” his finger pressed into my chest, making every word feel like a shot of burning magic to my heart, “would give you a lot of insight into that bullshit.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” I was growing more furious by the second, my father’s demands and Talon’s accusations pushing me toward an edge I wasn’t sure I could step away from.

“Don’t I?”

“No, you don’t. If you did, you’d feel really fucking stupid right now.”

“Either way it doesn’t matter to me anymore,” Talon snapped. I could feel the eyes of onlookers, my shame gone with my patience. “What matters to me is Nova and keeping her safe. So what are you planning?”

“Again it’s none of your business.”

“She’s my business! She’s my everything now!”

“And why is that, Talon?” I pressed, daring to admonish him. “Why is she your everything? You’ve never shown this much interest in anybody you’ve ever dated or fucked. What is it about her?”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t feel it too!” He was growing frantic, his bellows echoing for all to hear. “I know you do. I see it in the way that you look at her. Which is why you need to stay the fuck away from her!”

“I don’t see anything in her other than a burden,” I snarled. We were nearly chest to chest, his eyes tilting up to look into mine with so much hatred my stomach twisted. “All she does is taint and poison everything! And you’re letting her! You’re encouraging her! You’re helping her!”

“She’s not doing anything wrong other than trying to survive!” Unfortunately, he had me there. “And it doesn’t matter, because she’s not like the others. Nova isn’t some useless akhata. She’s not a plague like they are. She’s different. You will all see it one day.”

Freezing, I stared down at him in bafflement. There it was, the truth I knew lurked in the depths of his calm and progressive waters, rising to the surface. “Does she know that you still think so poorly of every other person that’s just like her?”

“Nobody’s like her! Nobody will ever be like her!”

We both faced off, my chest rising and falling in such rapid succession that I felt as if I might faint.

Around us, trainees and elites stood, their mouths agape, whispers beginning.

Talon seemed to realize how loud we had gotten, and I saw the panic enter his eyes moments before he began whipping his head around, searching for her.

But I’d already found her in the crowd, my mind somehow always knowing exactly where she was.

She stood beside the trainee she had somehow convinced to be her friend—the one with eyes like moss and a habit of talking too much.

Her curls were especially wild, as if she’d been running her hands through them, the anxiety that clearly brewed inside of her bubbling up and over.

I could tell by her wide eyes and slightly open mouth that she was processing all we had said.

Could tell by the way she pulled her slightly larger upper lip into her mouth and drug her teeth across it, as if holding back tears.

Talon’s voice came first, a strain there that showed his own emotions. “Supernova, please, you don’t understand.”

“No, I understand. I think I always have,” she spoke, her voice barely loud enough to hear. Then she turned and walked away, heading toward the spot where the alchemists were preparing all they had concocted. Ready to do her job.

Everyone continued to stare, looking at us, waiting for something or someone to explode.

But it wouldn’t be me. I felt deflated for some reason.

Like all the fight, anger, and stress had left me at the sight of Tershetta.

She had an odd habit of making me feel that way.

Empty of all that often raged within me.

I hated that about her. Being angry was the only thing that had gotten me through life, I didn’t need someone messing that up and making me feel… I didn’t know what.

“You know, Talon, I think sometimes you forget how alike we truly are. Be safe out there today.” Spinning, I looked for our friends—not that Talon was willing to acknowledge them.

He was so eager to let everything fall apart.

To sacrifice all those who loved him. For what?

Her? She wasn’t worth it, and I thought then that he was coming close to realizing that.

Cal was there first, his hands moving to my shoulders, pulling me in and away from the prying eyes of the crowd.

“What was all that about?” he probed, glaring at any trainee who dared look our way. I forgot sometimes that Cal could be scary when he wanted to be.

Not wanting to discuss it further, I simply mumbled, “As if you didn’t hear.”

“Oh I heard, and I think we both know that there is something else you’re not saying.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know what’s going on with you, him, and Nova.

I wouldn’t begin to understand it even if you did try to explain, because I’m pretty sure neither of you know either.

Regardless, whatever it is needs to stop.

Now. We have something very important that we need to get done and both of you—stars, all three of you—need to survive it. ”

I had noticed the way Cal seemed to be equally drawn to her.

It was in a different way, of course. More like the dark-haired girl.

Maybe he also wanted to be her friend. Caleb had always been the least dedicated to the core values out of all of us.

I wasn’t sure what made him stray from our beliefs, but it had been obvious that he didn’t necessarily view the eadi or the of eadi like we did.

Which was why it didn’t surprise me that he of all people wanted to befriend her. But his preferences and wishes were not my top priority. I had one thing required of me and that was to make sure that she didn’t get back alive.

“Talon and I will both make it home, Cal, don’t be worried about that.”

Cal eyed me, his nose scrunching and his head tilting as he stepped away. He understood exactly what I wasn’t saying.

“Nova will make it home too, right?” he pressed, his curls swaying as he cocked his head to the other side.

“I couldn’t care less if she does,” I lied.

Cal knew. He always knew. Of my friends, he was the only one I was ever truly honest with. Even Priya didn’t know what Cal did.

“Az, what were you talking to your father about?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Cal stepped in front of me, forcing me to stop in my tracks. We were near the edge of the training center, farther from eavesdropping ears. “No, I think it does.”

“What’s going on here?” Priya asked as she walked up to us, her arms crossed and her stare lethal. Her blunt, black hair had been pinned back, her eyes lined with kohl in the way that she loved.

I wished for so many things in that moment.

That I could be honest with them.

That we could all be free of the shackles that our parents had placed upon us.

That the world was different.

That for one day we could just breathe.

Dove and Quinn found us moments later. All five of us huddled together, an odd empty space between Quinn and Cal that had once been Talon’s.

I wished Talon could be free too, no matter how aggravated I got with him.

He was always going to be a part of our family, but I had a horrible feeling that he wouldn’t survive much longer if we didn’t do something about it, which was why killing Tershetta was the only path forward.

I hated that I had to be the one to do it, because, stars, why was it always me who had to do everything? But maybe that was my purpose in life. Perhaps this was my chance to show the stars that I could be a leader worthy of their essence. Father always said that leaders had to do the hard things.

Four sets of eyes remained trained on me, each of them waiting for my admission, an odd sort of knowing buzzing between us like flies surrounding a corpse. A chill crawled up my spine, my body growing cold. I didn’t want their judgement or their praise. I didn’t want anything but a moment of peace.

So, as they all stared on, I straightened my back and lifted my chin. “Better get to our divisions.”

Then I walked away, heading back to the area where the strategists were splitting into their teams, clearing my mind and preparing to kill my Little Void.