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CHAPTER FOUR

RACHEL

What in the hell was happening?

Meeting Silas the way I had was already enough of a mind trip. It had been a long time since anyone new had come into my life. My days were all about Taylor and making sure I had the means to support her in every way that mattered.

It was why dating and men in general weren’t on my radar. My entire focus was on making a good enough living to support us and to always be present for my sister.

I’d been lectured countless times by friends and the family we had left, that sacrificing my own happiness wouldn’t help Taylor or me, and to stop obsessing over filling every single gap our mother had ignored before she’d officially left us behind.

Taking a reprieve for a day and into the next morning had seemed weird enough not to know what to do with myself, and that had brought me out here in the first place. I didn’t know how to be home and just be . I’d thought walking away from my everyday life for a few hours would help me break the writer’s block I was having and be the reset I’d needed.

As I sat in the back of a yellow cab on the way back to Silas’s hotel, today and tonight seemed like a walk into an alternate universe rather than a reset. I’d wound up in another dimension, one where a gorgeous man who seemed to hang on my every word dropped out of the sky.

I was still feeling that kiss and the tingle between my legs when he’d told me to lead the way.

I’d believed him when he said we could just talk, but once that door closed behind us, there’d be no talking. The anticipation was why I was afraid to look him in the eye now. I’d either lose my nerve or climb on top of him until the driver threw us out of the cab.

I’d suggested a cab because I’d been too afraid of changing my mind and running to the train station in panic on the walk back. Thanks to traffic, it had been a slow crawl since we’d gotten in. I was surprised that being in an enclosed space with Silas calmed me down, the kind yet dirty smiles he’d give me at each jerky stop reminding me why I was here, where I was going, and how much I couldn’t wait to get there.

When I recognized the turn leading to his hotel, nerves kicked in again, and I sucked in what I hoped was a quiet, deep breath. This was what everyone had been after me to do—sort of. Tonight would be something just for me, something I wanted, regardless of all the reasons why it probably shouldn’t happen.

It was something for me, no matter if I could keep it or not.

“Hey,” Silas crooned, scooting closer to me after the cab pulled up to a light. “I mean it, if you only want to talk, it’s fine. I won’t push?—”

I cut him off by grabbing his face and hauling his mouth to mine. My God, he was a good kisser. He laughed against my lips as he speared his hand into my hair, sliding his tongue past my eager lips and swirling it around in slow, torturous strokes. The kiss was sweet, yet dirty enough for me to grab a fistful of his shirt to yank him closer.

We broke apart, both of us breathless as he ran his nose along my jaw and planted a light kiss to the corner of my mouth. His lips were warm and soft, the scrape of his stubble against my skin drawing a moan out of me. I pretended to clear my throat and straightened when the driver glared at us in his rearview mirror.

I felt more than heard Silas’s chuckle next to me as he swept the hair off the side of my neck.

“You’re adorable when you blush,” he whispered, his breath fanning hot against my skin as he ran a finger over my cheek.

“Yeah, I’m cute as a button,” I said, not enough air in my lungs to pull off the snark I was aiming for. I lolled my head to the side as Silas’s lips came back to my neck.

“You’re sexy as fuck. But really goddamn cute when you blush.” He brushed my lips, smiling into the kiss when I sighed against his mouth.

The raspy way Silas had said “sexy as fuck” turned the pull between my legs into a full-on throb.

“Hey,” the taxi driver snapped, banging on the ceiling with one hand as he swiveled his head. “Keep it in your pants while you’re in my cab.”

I draped a hand over my eyes, not knowing whether to crack up or die of embarrassment. After we’d fought a smoldering attraction for most of the night, once our lips touched, it was as if Silas and I had flipped a switch and it was impossible to keep our hands or mouths off each other. I’d written instant attraction a million times, but I’d never thought it existed in real life, at least not to this degree. If I’d passed Silas on the street, I’d absolutely notice him enough for my head to turn in his direction but would never pursue anything beyond a long second look.

I was a little afraid of combusting once we were behind a closed door, without the protective but thin shreds of common decency that made us not take things too far while we were in public.

I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d hooked up with someone, never mind made out in the back of a cab. Would I even remember how to have sex? I wrote it all the time, but real-life was much different.

While I couldn’t pinpoint when or with whom my last time was, I was certain it wasn’t like this because whoever he was wasn’t like Silas.

We hadn’t done anything but kiss and touch, but he was already unforgettable.

That was going to be a problem, but a problem for tomorrow Rachel. Tonight Rachel was living her best life and would enjoy this fairy-tale interlude for however long it lasted.

I laughed to myself as I gazed out the window. This was as close to a Cinderella story as I’d get. The beautiful prince and I would part ways and not look for each other after tomorrow, although this big city wasn’t big at all. I might run into him one day, but we wouldn’t be whatever we were right now.

A one-night limit sounded like the best thing for him and was definitely the right move for me, but it already sucked.

The cab jerked to a stop in front of the hotel. I spotted the table I’d been sitting at all day and had to laugh.

I wouldn’t be able to pass that table or take my sister for tacos without a lot of dirty memories racing through my brain. Memories I couldn’t wait to make tonight.

This day had taken a weird but wonderful turn, and it still wasn’t over.

But it would be. Until then, I needed to keep all thoughts of pending reality far from my mind.

I followed Silas inside, past the pink neon trails of lights illuminating the bar. The inside of the hotel skated the line between trendy and tacky, like a novelty place you’d want to go to for fun but couldn’t afford.

We stayed silent, not touching as we headed for the elevator and stepped on after the doors dinged open.

“After you,” he said, a wry grin curving his lips. It was hard to look at his mouth and not feel it on mine and wonder what it would be like to feel it everywhere.

I managed a nod and stepped inside. We were the only passengers as the doors slid closed. Before I knew it, Silas’s body was on mine, pinning me against the wall as he covered my mouth with his, this kiss deeper and more desperate than the ones before. I slid my hand under his sports coat and scraped my nails up his back, his muscles flexing under my touch.

He was hard everywhere and making my head spin enough to push away my trepidation. Not completely, but far enough that I didn’t want to run or chicken out anymore. When I’d told Silas I wanted this, I hadn’t felt even one ounce of hesitation as it slipped out of my mouth, like a confession about to burn my tongue.

The right thing, or at least the better and less complicated thing, to do would have been to appreciate the kiss and tell him goodnight.

But I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to so badly, the idea of the regret I’d have over just walking away was intolerable.

I’d end tonight with other regrets, but I’d get a hell of a story to go along with them. Maybe not for a book I’d publish, but one I could daydream about when daily life became hard. I’d flashback to the night it was all wonderful and easy because obligations didn’t apply.

“We’re here,” Silas murmured against my lips as the elevator dinged on his floor. I didn’t even look to see what button he’d pressed and hadn’t cared once he’d backed me against the wall, but it was high enough for me to have already pulled open two of the buttons on Silas’s shirt.

A lifetime sense of over-responsibility had probably led to this moment. Once I let loose, I was wild and mindless, and I had to admit it felt pretty damn good.

“That felt like a long ride to only the tenth floor,” I said, still chasing my breath as Silas took my hand and led me down the hall.

“Really?” he said, cracking a wide grin as he swiped the keycard over the lock. “To me, it seemed way too fast.” He pushed the door open and stood back, tipping his chin toward the room.

Now that I was here, nerves mixed with the excitement in my belly, causing the butterflies to ricochet back and forth enough to make me a little queasy.

I unzipped my jacket and draped it over the chair by the desk, setting my messenger bag on the seat. The glow from the streetlight on the sidewalk below peeked through the curtains, the rest of the room fading away as my focus zapped to the king-sized bed with the plush headboard along the wall.

With my jacket off, I became hyper-attuned to what I was wearing. I smoothed down my favorite long-sleeved black T-shirt that always drooped over one shoulder. It was comfortable and—I thought—cute, but as I gazed down my body, it dawned on me that Silas was about to see me naked.

I’d always been on the full side of curvy, even more so since my schedule and my sister’s active lifestyle didn’t allow for much gym time other than whatever I could do in front of my TV for an early-morning half hour.

I mostly liked the way I looked, but I was the only one who’d seen me with my clothes off for a long time. I hadn’t seen what was under Silas’s dress shirt and pants yet, but what I’d touched so far had appeared to be all hard muscle.

When I was turned on enough not to think, I was all too happy to peel my clothes off. I still wanted to, but I swept my gaze around the room to see how many lights I could shut off without being obvious.

I ran my hand through my hair and turned around when I felt Silas’s eyes on me.

“What?” I asked when I caught him staring. I’d taken off my jacket at the restaurant, but it had been dark. This was the first time he’d get a complete picture of the wide curve of my hips and my breasts that still strained against my shirt even though it was loose.

“You’re really fucking beautiful,” he breathed out, shaking his head as he took my face in his hands. “That’s why I haven’t been able to take my eyes off you tonight.”

“Yeah?” I said, my heart thudding against my rib cage as Silas glided his hand up my arm and cupped my neck, giving it a gentle squeeze until I lifted my head. “I thought you were guarding against another sucker punch.”

“Sometimes sucker punches are lucky.” He glided his thumb along my jaw and across my bottom lip. “At least, this one was,” he murmured against my mouth before he pressed his lips to mine, slow and soft at first. But before I knew it, his hand was in my hair, and he was weaving his fingers around a fistful.

He peeled off his jacket as our lips stayed fused, dropping it with a soft thump against the carpet.

“You’re really fucking beautiful too,” I said as I feathered my hands down his chest. “I’m a sucker for a guy in a suit, or almost-suit.”

“Hey,” he whispered, catching my hands. “Are you sure you’re okay? Your hands are shaking.”

I clenched my eyes shut, embarrassment instead of arousal heating my cheeks. I didn’t realize my hands were trembling since it seemed like my entire body was shaking.

“I’m okay, but if I’m going to be honest, I’m nervous.” I lifted my head, cringing when I met his puzzled gaze. “I’m not a virgin or anything. It’s just…been a while. I’m probably not what you’re used to.”

I dragged a hand down my face. This was a golden opportunity and gift from the universe, and I was already fucking it up.

“No, you’re not what I’m used to.”

He cupped my cheek, swiping his thumb back and forth along my jaw. I relaxed and leaned into his touch, soothed and even more aroused. My brain was misfiring too much to think straight.

“You’re like no one else I’ve ever met. And I’m the one who should be nervous.”

I jerked my head up.

“You? Why would you be nervous?”

“Like I said, I read some romance. You write it, so you have high expectations of how this should go.” He drifted his hand from my cheek to my neck, spreading his fingers as he draped his palm over my throat. “That’s a common move, right? So you lift those pretty eyes to mine and see how much I want to spread you out on that big bed behind us and taste every fucking inch of your beautiful body before I sink inside you.”

I let go of a gasp, grabbing his wrist when my knees almost gave out. Yes, I had high expectations, thanks to reading and writing romance. But I had the feeling Silas would ruin me more than any fictional hero before I headed home tomorrow.

He quirked a brow— why the hell was that so sexy —and ran his other hand down my back, triggering a shiver along the path of his fingertips.

“Was that good?” He brushed his lips over my cheek and drifted them along my neck, peppering kisses onto my shoulder and gently pulling down my sleeve where it was already draping low on my arm.

I grabbed the back of his head, digging my fingers into his hair as he pulled at the hem of my shirt, dropping the neckline enough to show the lace outline of my bra. I whimpered as he dragged openmouthed kisses over my chest, running his tongue along where my breasts strained against the cups. One soft tug and I would spill right out, but I wasn’t embarrassed or timid anymore. I wanted him to see me…and maybe even remember me.

For someone who wrote scenes just like this one for a living, I was at a severe loss for words other than moans and mewls when he’d get so close to where I wanted him and then back off.

“This is all up to you, sweetheart. Tell me what you want me to do.”

I wanted him to call me sweetheart again, preferably as I was riding his face or his cock.

Maybe I could find my words and figure out what I wanted now. Every dirty thing I wanted Silas to do to me and let me do right back to him blossomed in my frazzled brain.

“I should see if I left a bruise,” I said, holding Silas’s gaze as I unbuttoned his shirt. He was smooth under my fingertips as I skated them down his torso and over the soft dusting of hair across his chest. “Which side was it again?” I asked as I slid the material off his shoulders and down his chiseled arms. I was right. He was nothing but muscle everywhere.

I bent down, swirling my tongue over the dip of his hip and across his stomach.

“Fuck,” he muttered, pulling at my hair as I nipped at the other side, his very hard cock close enough in proximity to note the huge bulge in his black dress pants.

“I think you’re good.”

Silas’s eyes were dark and feral as he grabbed the back of my head and took my mouth in a kiss desperate enough to make my toes curl in my boots. I needed them off, along with the rest of my clothes.

“You can leave all the bruises you want, gorgeous.” He fisted the hem of my shirt and dragged it up my back. “Let me see you.”

I peeled my shirt over my head and tossed it onto the chair along with my jacket.

“You are fucking killing me tonight,” he growled, reaching behind me to unhook my bra. “Is this what you wanted before?” He bent to suck a nipple into his mouth, pulling at it with his teeth before swirling his tongue around it.

“Yes,” I managed to breathe out as his mouth went to my other nipple, the both of us fumbling with the button of my jeans until it popped open.

“Can I…” he started, his hooded gaze growing serious as it met mine. His hesitation made him even hotter. “I want to touch you.”

“Yeah?” I asked, a smile ripping across my mouth.

“Yeah.” I watched the roll of his throat as he swallowed. “Really fucking badly. But?—”

“Touch me,” I whispered, taking his hand and dipping it inside my panties. We both gasped when his fingers glided over my very wet clit.

“Shit,” he groaned, dropping his head into the crook of my neck. “This all for me, baby? Is your pussy this soaked just for me?”

I nodded, my eyes shutting as my hips swayed along with the swirl of his fingers.

“Look at me,” he rasped as he pressed the pad of his thumb against my clit and slid a finger deep enough inside me to make me yelp in delighted surprise.

“That’s a good girl. Eyes on me. After looking at your pretty face all this time, I want to see what you look like when you come.”

I fell against him, my legs nothing but limp noodles from his talented fingers and dirty words.

“I bet you’re close. Aren’t you, sweetheart?” A wicked grin curled his lips as he slipped another finger inside.

“Silas, please.” I dug my fingers into his bicep so deep I thought my nails broke the skin as my legs began to shake. Right when I was about to explode, he slipped his hand away and pressed his hands against my hips.

“Wait a minute,” he said, smiling down at me as he lifted me up by the waist and brought me over to the bed, setting me down with a soft bounce.

I was about to ask him what he was doing as he unzipped my boots one at a time, throwing them behind him before he hooked his thumbs into the waistband of my jeans and dragged them down my legs, along with my ruined panties.

I was completely naked and spread out on the bed with most of the lights on, and I didn’t care. All I wanted was relief from the throbbing at my core so strong my clit had its own pulse.

“My tongue was jealous of my fingers.” He climbed on top of me, hooking my leg over his shoulder as he dove in, kissing me like he’d been doing since the bench. Long strokes of his tongue as he tasted and explored, snaking it in and out of me before swirling around my clit.

Ruined was not the word. Any expectations I’d had of men would be obliterated after this.

I sat up on my elbows, fighting not to flail my legs as I watched the dirty sight in front of me, Silas’s head bobbing up and down, moaning as he licked me like an ice cream cone, catching every drop as my arousal trickled down his chin.

When he slid two fingers inside and sucked my clit into his mouth, I went off like a bomb, thrashing on the bed as Silas kept going, wringing me out until I had nothing left and I collapsed against the padded headboard.

“Good enough for a book?” Silas asked, his crooked grin killing me as he swept the hair off my sticky forehead.

“I could never put that into a book. Words couldn’t express how amazing that was.”

Silas laughed, pressing his mouth to mine, his lips still glistening with me. I didn’t mind my taste on his lips and even enjoyed it until my hazy gaze fell to where he still tented his pants.

“Do you have something?”

He nodded. “Yes, in my wallet,” he said, the corner of his mouth curving up as he stood, fishing his wallet out of his pocket before letting his pants drop to the floor. My mouth watered as his cock sprang free, bouncing against his stomach as he pulled down his boxers.

Other than the deep scar stretching across his knee, he was perfection. He’d said he had to train for his old job, but he had to be still doing it as I’d never seen a more beautiful man in my life from head to toe.

But more than the hard ridges of his body, his face was what held me captive. His eyes, carnal yet vulnerable, and his blinding smile would be what I’d remember the most after tonight, whenever I’d allow myself to think about it.

Maybe it was the endorphins from coming in his mouth, but Silas was special. Something about him seemed genuine and honest, even if both of us left out life details tonight on purpose.

I hoped today and tonight would be a nice memory for him too, and I’d try my best before I walked out his hotel room door later tonight or in the morning.

“Still ready,” Silas said, shaking his head with a tiny laugh as he slid his finger up and down my slit. “You’re really killing me tonight.”

The feeling was all too mutual.

He rolled the condom on and settled on top of me, easing in slowly as he studied my face.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” he said on a tortured groan as he started to move. Slow at first, so slow I could feel every inch of him as he thrust in and out until the mattress squeaked under us as he picked up the pace.

“Can you give me one more?” he grunted out, slipping his hand between us to rub circles over my clit. “Please, baby.”

Hot, great in bed, and so damn considerate.

Man, this was so unfair.

My second orgasm snuck up on me and tripped his. My body shook as he pulsed inside me, the second high even more mind-scrambling than the first. I melted into the mattress as he collapsed on top of me, both of us breathless and spent—or at least, I was. I had no idea how to move off this bed since I couldn’t feel my legs.

“That was…” I said, trying to draw the air back into my lungs to form words, not that I had any.

I felt his laugh against my chest before he lifted his head, resting his elbow on the pillow.

“That was what? I’m excited to hear what a romance writer has to say.”

I laughed, covering my eyes for a minute before meeting his gaze.

“Not what I expected to happen today.”

He smiled, his lips as raw and swollen as mine were, although his wasn’t from beard burn. I already felt the chafing on my chin and chest, but I didn’t mind. It felt good, almost like a souvenir.

A souvenir from a night and a man I never saw coming—and probably would never see again.