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CHAPTER TWENTY

SILAS

“Do you want me to stop anywhere?” I asked Rachel as we hit a cluster of traffic on the highway. She’d been quiet ever since she’d climbed into my truck, and while rage still burned in my veins thinking of that asshole’s hands on her, I had to hide it.

“No, just home. Listen, thank you for?—”

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner.”

“It’s fine. I probably wouldn’t have gotten as rattled if my mother hadn’t stopped by with her new boyfriend on my way out tonight. And he was just as creepy as the ones I remembered.” She rubbed at her neck. “I don’t want that around my sister.”

“Your mother’s boyfriends were creepy, how?” I asked as traffic came to a full stop. I grasped the steering wheel so tightly I had a cramp in my wrist.

“When I was a teenager, they’d leer at me. My grandmother never allowed them in the house for too long. And my mother would always say I was overreacting, but I think my instincts were pretty spot-on.”

“Did any of them touch you?” I cleared my throat when my question came out like a growl.

“No,” she said, turning toward me with a tired chuckle. “What would you do if they did? Go back in time and kill them for me?”

“You’d be surprised what I’d do for you.” I drifted my hand down her cheek, letting my thumb run up and down over the curve of her jaw until the blare of a horn made us both jerk forward.

“Where is your mother now?”

“I really don’t know,” she scoffed. “I told her I changed the locks and not to come back. But I get the feeling she will. My sister isn’t little anymore, so my mother thinks we can all hang out like besties without her having to pretend to be a parent. I won’t let her fuck up my sister’s head.”

“You’re sure they left?” I asked as we turned off the exit toward Rachel’s neighborhood.

“Locks are changed on my upstairs door and the front door so she couldn’t get in, and my downstairs tenant hates her and would call the cops on sight. It’s fine. For now. I’m calling my aunt to put her lawyer on retainer in case I need one.”

“It’s not fine. You shouldn’t have to deal with any of this.”

“My mother has been a constant problem. Even when she’s not around, her existence fucks things up.” She let out a humorless laugh. “I mean, she gave me life, gave me a sister, a grandmother I loved very much. I just wish she’d stay away. But I’ll figure it out.”

Her long sigh both gutted and infuriated me.

“Wow, you’re lucky to find a spot right in front.”

Rachel pointed to the brownstone in the middle of the block. “This is me. Thank you again.”

I grabbed her hand when she reached for the door handle. “I’m walking you up.”

“Silas,” she said on a long exhale. “They’re gone. Trust me.”

“I’d like to make sure. I’ll only be a minute. I’ll walk you upstairs, make sure you’re alone, and then I’ll leave. Promise.” I held up a hand.

The corner of her mouth curved as she held my gaze.

“Okay, Coach. If you want to do a sweep to make yourself feel better, have at it.”

I waited for her on the sidewalk as she shut the car door. My eyes found hers under the glow of the streetlamp, the light illuminating her like the angel she was. Leaving her tonight would be the hardest promise I’d ever make.

“This is a beautiful house,” I said, gazing up at the flower beds on the second floor.

“Thank you. My grandmother would appreciate that. She loved this house and this neighborhood.”

I followed Rachel inside as she opened the front door, a light flickering on after I shut the door behind me.

“I thought maybe she was back,” a short, tan-skinned woman with a thick Spanish accent said to Rachel. “She and that baldie hung out outside after your cab drove away. She saw me give her a look out the front window and left.” She tightened the sweater around her chest when she found my gaze over Rachel’s shoulder.

“Mrs. Ruiz, this is my friend Silas. He wanted to walk me upstairs to make sure my mother hadn’t infiltrated my apartment while I was out tonight.”

She glanced over her shoulder at me.

“Silas, this is my downstairs tenant and my grandmother’s oldest friend, Mrs. Ruiz.”

“You can call me Alba,” she told me, smiling as she stepped closer. “So nice to meet you.”

I took her extended hand between both of mine.

“Very nice to meet you too, Alba,”

“So nice of you to make sure she’s safe at home. I’ll let you go check it all out. Have a good evening,” Alba said, smirking as she shifted back to her door. She snuck a look to Rachel, fanning herself before disappearing inside.

Rachel’s head fell back on a laugh.

“Oh, Manager Jones.” She tsked , shaking her head. “The effect you have on women of all ages.”

“Maybe so,” I said, lifting a shoulder. “But I’m only concerned about one.”

She clenched her eyes shut and motioned to the stairs.

“I’ll give you the tour while you search.”

I climbed the stairs behind Rachel, my gaze drifting toward the perfect curve of her ass as she headed up the short flight. Standing back, I let my eyes roam her beautiful body as she sifted through the keys in her hand and opened her door.

“Come on in,” she said, pressing the door open. “It’s small, but the view is pretty awesome.”

“It’s not small at all,” I said, surveying the space. A bookcase lined the back wall of the living room, and a short hallway led to three doors.

“This is my sister’s room,” she said as she clicked the light switch and pushed the wooden door open.

“Wow, so he did make a good impression, huh?” I said as I spotted the large poster of Nate on the wall above the twin-sized bed.

“One of the girls on the team found it online. Taylor crushed on you first, so take that as you will.”

“Is that so?” I asked as I tracked Rachel farther down the hallway.

“Yep, sure is, Mr. Instagram,” she said. “This is the bathroom. Actually not a bad size with a full tub. Want to do a sweep before I shut the door?”

“Sure,” I said as I peeked inside, my gaze landing on the shower curtain as visions of a wet and naked Rachel popped into my head.

Which wasn’t going to make leaving any easier.

“This is my room.” She opened the door, her shoulders a little more tense as she moved aside to show me. Her bed was bigger than her sister’s, but it would be a tight fit to climb in with her.

I’d make us fit and make her forget her mother, her creepy boyfriends, and the asshole who’d put his hands on her and had made her feel worse about it all. Rachel didn’t need anyone to take care of her, but I still wanted the job. I wanted it with so much certainty that it confused the shit out of me.

“Where do you write?” I asked, my voice a husky rasp as I tried, and failed, to forget the last time Rachel and I had been this close to a bed. Tonight wasn’t about that, no matter what wishes I had for it or visions of what we could be.

If I wanted her, and fuck, I wanted her so damn badly, I had to take it slow. Show her that I wasn’t just here for a good time and we could be so much more than that.

When it had come to fighting for my marriage, I’d given up before I’d begun to fight. No matter what guilt I’d felt over how it ended, forcing it had seemed like a waste of time.

But I’d wait for Rachel. I hoped I wouldn’t have to for too long, but the timeline wasn’t mine. If she let me in, I’d make the room in my life that I’d never tried for because it had seemed impossible.

Maybe that was because I’d never wanted anyone else to fit.

“Oh, I’ll show you my fancy office,” she teased, kicking off her shoes, and padded barefoot to the living room.

“I have a little alcove.” She pointed against the wall. “No door, but it’s set off enough for a little bit of privacy and a great view.”

“I can see that,” I said, my gaze drifting down her face and snagging on where she chewed on her bottom lip. “I’m in the market for a paperback,” I said, nodding toward her top shelf, lined with all the titles I’d come to know. “How much?”

“Like I’d charge you. If you want one, just take it. I’ll even sign it for you.”

“I was hoping you would.” I reached over to the top shelf and slipped one of the books off. “This is the one I started with, so you can sign this one.”

She took it from me, narrowing her eyes as she grabbed a pen.

“You really read my books?” She eyed me as she popped off the cap and opened the book to the first page, darting her eyes from the book to me as she scribbled.

“I did. I like how they’re a series, but if you start in the middle, you’re not really lost.”

Her head snapped up, her cute little nose scrunched as she met my gaze.

“That is great to hear. I try hard to make sure they’re stand-alone stories. Here you go,” she sang, handing me the book. “You’re really something.”

“Why, because I can read? We jocks can read.”

“No,” she said, letting out a chuckle. “You didn’t ask for my number, but you asked for my pen name. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to look me up or if you wanted to see if I was lying.”

“No, I knew you were telling the truth.”

“So, you intended to read my books, just not speak to me again? Hey, I didn’t ask for your number either because I figured we were?—”

“Your books feel like you. Smart. Beautiful. Hot.”

She blinked when she met my gaze, an adorable blush staining her cheeks.

“If you ever want to post that in a review, feel free,” she teased. I had to remember my promise to leave tonight and take it slow if I wanted to get this woman to be mine. The problem was, all I’d wanted was to stay and go full speed ahead.

“I mean it.” I set the book down on her desk as I inched closer. “That’s why I’m halfway through all of them now.”

She dragged a hand down her face.

“Thanks to you, I had to explain to my sister when we were watching Roger Rabbit the other day why I got so misty when Jessica came on-screen. I still think you’re a little nuts for saying that.”

“Look at you,” I rasped, draping an arm around her waist to pull her to me. “This body…” I glided my hands down the silky material of her dress, lingering over her ass. “Those eyes,” I whispered, slipping my hand around the nape of her neck, goose bumps pebbling under my thumb as I drifted it back and forth. “And that fucking mouth,” I growled out, sweeping the pad of my thumb over her faded red lips.

I hissed out a “fuck” when she opened her mouth to bite it. I relinquished that last fraying thread of control and took her mouth in a hungry kiss. I swallowed her whimpers as I slipped my tongue inside and took long, desperate strokes. She tasted like sweet memories that weren’t supposed to become reality again.

This would be a better reality. One that wouldn’t end tomorrow.

I lifted her by the waist and carried her over to the hallway. She wrapped her legs around my waist as she scratched her nails up and down my back until I backed her against the wall and set her down.

“You taste like you missed me,” I murmured against her mouth, pulling at her bottom lip with my teeth. After all this time of willing myself to go slow, I was about to fuck her in her hallway because there was too much blood in my cock and not enough in my brain to think. Rachel was all I saw and all I wanted, and instead of wondering why, I was taking it and her, instead of talking myself out of it.

“Maybe,” she said on a moan as I hooked her leg over my hip.

“Only maybe, huh? Feel how much I missed you?” I pressed my aching erection against her core, drawing a whimper out of her.

“This is exactly what I was thinking about all night,” I whispered in her ear as I slipped my hand inside her panties. “Maybe I wasn’t the only one? You’re soaked, sweetheart. You want to come for me like a good girl?” I slipped two fingers deep inside her as I thumbed her clit, my knees almost giving out as she dripped all over my hand.

Just like the day we met, I was consumed by her enough not to think or care about anything else. It had been a mindfuck of crazy lust and an instant connection I still couldn’t understand.

“Fuck, Silas,” she groaned and dropped her head against my shoulder.

“Oh no, you don’t. Look at me, Slugger.”

She lifted her head, her eyes hooded and her mouth red and swollen from my kisses. I’d avoided this that night, freaked out by the intimacy it had triggered for someone I’d hardly known and unsure what the hell to do about it.

Now, instead of running from it, I fucking craved it, desperate for every piece I could get of her, even if fitting into each other’s lives had become even more complicated.

“I want to watch you. That’s it. You’re so close, aren’t you?”

She nodded, her chest heaving against mine as she dug her nails into my jacket.

“You’re a fucking dream,” I grunted out, pumping harder as she shook around my fingers. I pressed my hand against the wall behind her as my cock strained against my zipper, the need to sink myself inside her potent enough to make my head spin.

“Oh, there you go. Such a good fucking girl. Scream my name, baby. Tell everyone on the goddamn block how good I make you feel.”

She let out a yelp before she sank her teeth into my chest, rocking her hips against my hand until she melted into me, a gorgeous puddle in my arms.

I kissed the top of her head as I eased back, my stomach sinking as she draped her hand over her eyes.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to go too?—”

“Stop. Did you hear me complaining? I just…” She trailed off, pressing her palm to her forehead. “Come with me to the couch, easier to talk there.”

She slid her palm against mine and dragged me to her couch. I didn’t know what she was about to say, but I had a feeling I’d hate it, and I’d only have myself to blame.

I didn’t know how to want something and not push for it. This was the first time what I wanted had nothing to do with baseball and everything to do with the woman sitting next to me, her eyes looking everywhere but into mine.

“There is an agency clause in all our contracts that if we fraternize with a client, it’s automatic termination.” She finally looked my way, her eyes, crazy with lust only minutes ago, now full of sad regret.

“I’m not really your client, though. Kent and the other executives?—”

She gave me a slow shake of her head.

“Gayle reiterated that tonight, in fact. One of our assistants was getting too chummy with your catcher, and she gave her a warning.” She raked a hand through her hair as she dropped her chin to her chest.

“I need this job. The books, like I told you, are a hobby that some months out of the year can be lucrative. But to give my sister the life she deserves? Not even close.”

“I wouldn’t let that happen. And that’s a fucked-up rule.”

“I agree,” she said, bobbing her head. “Someone had an affair with a married CEO, earned the company a lot of bad press, and management was pissed and embarrassed enough to make it a hard rule. I shouldn’t have let it go this far. I wish I could peel all your clothes off and bring you into my bedroom, but I can’t.” She fell back against the couch. “And it fucking sucks.”

I’d known being with Rachel would make things a little weird for her at work, but I’d never thought it would get her fired. There had to be a way around this. Or to make her want this enough to fight for a chance.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I reached out and squeezed her knee, running my thumb back and forth over her silky skin until she lifted her head. I was supposed to stop touching her and back away, but I couldn’t help myself.

“About tonight, yes. I was just rattled from before, and that creep made it worse. But I’d kicked him in the shin before you slammed him into the wall.” Her shoulders jerked with a chuckle. “That’s why he was so pissed off.”

“That’s my Slugger,” I said, squeezing her knee one more time before I dropped my hand. “I’d stay longer, but I’m going to go,” I said, cupping her chin. “Because I really want you to peel my clothes off and take me to bed, and I’m afraid the temptation is too big for both of us.”

“That’s because it is.” She turned her head and pressed a kiss to my palm. “Thank you for tonight. For being the alpha hero you are, for listening, and for—” she flicked her eyes to the wall “—another nice memory.”

I stood, bristling at her words that sounded a lot like a goodbye. I wouldn’t accept it. I just had to think.

And I couldn’t do that around Rachel tonight.

“Do you need to follow me to lock up?” I asked.

“No, it locks on its own from the inside, and I’ll double-lock my door up here.”

We both trudged to the door, her sadness more resolute than frustrated.

I’d find a way to fix that.

Somehow.

“Is it all right to text you tomorrow? See if you’re okay?”

“You can.” Her lips curved with a sad smile. “I’d like that. And we’re friends. Friends can text.”

“Right,” I said, pressing my lips to her forehead. “Sweet dreams, Slugger.”

“Back at you, Coach.”

She leaned in and brushed her lips against my cheek, lingering long enough to tempt me to walk back in and fight.

And I would.

Once I figured out how.