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CHAPTER TEN

RACHEL

“I don’t know. Maybe I should stay home. Just in case.”

I bit back a laugh at my sister’s scrunched-up face, her ponytail falling over her shoulder as her head drooped. I shook my head but tried to keep in mind her act wasn’t all fake.

She’d just gotten her period for the first time last month. Even though I’d made sure to prepare her as much as I could, she was scared from both the novelty of it all and the pain shooting across her abdomen. I’d let her stay home the first couple of days and huddled on the couch with her as I worked and she watched movies on her laptop.

Once I’d realized that her complaints were nothing severe enough to keep her home, I’d sent her to school with a discreet purse of feminine products and a note for the nurse to let her take ibuprofen if she became uncomfortable. She was still just as nervous with her second period, but I couldn’t have her stay home every single month, even though the guilt in my gut kept nudging me to let her.

Maybe I shouldn’t have been such a pushover, but I remembered how scary it had been for me. My grandmother had still called pads “napkins,” but she’d sent me to school with a reassuring nudge that I would be fine. I’d spent the day a nervous wreck that my cramps would kill me or I’d get blood on my skirt for everyone to see.

My mother, as usual, had nothing to offer when she’d stopped by soon after that other than a “good for you” when I’d told her.

My life was dedicated to reassuring my sister in ways I’d never been, but letting her stay home every month if she didn’t have severe symptoms wasn’t the right thing either. There was being loving and supportive, and there was being too much of a soft touch. As our aunt Lucy had told me, Taylor would appreciate it later if I didn’t try to coddle her too much.

And I was all about giving Taylor things to appreciate, although I hadn’t spoken to her about reducing her activities outside school yet. I was still working out the math of expenses and time and trying to find a way to make it all work, even though I always came up with the same answer.

It wouldn’t. But I would tackle that tomorrow.

My mind was preoccupied with other ways I’d drive myself crazy today.

It wasn’t unheard of to meet a client for an interview at a different location. Usually, it was at their office, but I went anywhere they’d be comfortable. I’d told Gayle my plan for today, and she was all for it if having the interview closer to home allowed me to get started on it that much quicker.

She hadn’t thought anything of it, just told me to let her know how it went as soon as I got home and what material I’d suggest highlighting.

I had to call Auden right after as well and let her know how my lunch date had gone for different reasons.

This was supposed to be an interview, but it wasn’t just an interview or just a lunch date. Not that I would address that in any way this afternoon.

It was odd to both anticipate and dread something so much.

“Kiddo,” I said, taking my sister’s face in my hands. “You were happily playing video games all through breakfast not twenty minutes ago.”

“It comes and goes,” she murmured, rubbing the lower part of her stomach.

“I get that, and I’ve been there. But unless your symptoms are really bad, I can’t keep you home every month. The truant officers would come for me.”

Her head jerked up, her eyes wide with real fear.

“Oh no. You’re right. I’m okay. I don’t want that.”

She darted toward our hallway.

“I’ll finish getting dressed.”

“Hey,” I whispered as I pulled her back by her arm. “I was making a joke. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.” I tapped her chin so she’d turn to meet my gaze. “Okay?”

She nodded, tension still pulling at her features.

Taylor had been used to our mother coming and going over the years, but it was me she was afraid of losing.

We looked like sisters, but then we didn’t. Our mother’s dark eyes and long lashes were the same, but Taylor’s hair was almost black, while mine was more of a chestnut brown. She was rail-thin, even with the “puffy stomach” she’d been complaining about all week, whereas I’d been mid-sized for most of my life.

We were almost the same height, but any shirt she borrowed of mine hung off her frame without my padding to fill it in.

I laughed to myself every time I thought of how Silas had compared me to Jessica Rabbit. It was ridiculous, yet one of the nicest compliments I’d ever received.

And something else not to think about today.

I guessed the differences between Taylor and me came from the fathers we’d never known, and although my sister would always suggest getting a DNA kit after we’d see an ad for one, I shut it down immediately.

There was no point, only danger, because Taylor’s father could take her away from me if he wanted to, especially if he hadn’t known about her.

Mom had said she’d told both our fathers about us and they just weren’t interested. If that was true, our parents all seemed to have that in common.

Still, that was a can of worms I wasn’t going to open for the sake of curiosity while my sister was still under eighteen.

I watched Taylor get her backpack together and reach for her jacket on the hook after she’d finished getting dressed, a slight twinge of guilt in my gut when I caught her grimace. I’d gone to school with cramps, and if I could function, she had to as well.

My baby sister meant everything to me, which was why I exhausted myself to be everything for her, and was a big reason I felt like I was thirty-three going on one hundred. What I had left of my youth was dwindling, but I was still happy to give it all to her.

“Who is your interview with?” Taylor asked as we strolled up the street to her bus stop. Next year, she’d be a freshman and at a school farther away.

I exhaled slowly, trying to stay in the moment rather than indulge in my usual panic about the future.

“New client,” I told her as we turned the corner. I hadn’t realized how early we were as we strode to a mostly empty stop.

“One of those tech ones?” she asked as she adjusted the strap on her arm.

“No, actually. The new manager for the Brooklyn Bats.”

My sister turned around, a loud gasp escaping her as she brought her hands to her mouth.

“You’re interviewing Silas Jones!” Her mouth was as wide as her eyes. “Patti is going to flip out when I tell her.”

“You can’t say anything yet,” I leaned in to whisper. “This is for a new campaign. When the article is out, you can brag all over the place.”

She glared at me before letting out a whimper of disappointment.

It was comical how my sister knew Silas’s last name before I did.

“Okay,” she relented with an audible sigh. “Wow, you’re lucky. He is so hot.”

“Hot,” I repeated, studying my sister and soaking in the first time she’d called a guy hot. It happened to be the guy I’d had very hot and dirty sex with multiple times on a night that was supposed to stay in the past, but I was too busy fixating on her finding someone hot to connect those queasy dots in my head.

“I had no idea you followed the Bats.”

“Some of my softball friends do. You don’t know Silas Jones? He has the best butt in baseball.”

I burst out laughing before I could help it.

“And you know this because you make it a habit to compare backsides of baseball players?”

She rolled her eyes with a groan. “You haven’t seen one of his reels from when he played in Washington?”

She dug out her phone from her backpack and tapped on the screen.

“I told you that I didn’t want you on social media yet.”

“It’s a video link in our group chat. You don’t have to have an account to view it.”

She turned the phone to me, and I recognized Silas in his Washington baseball uniform. It was a montage of different games, mostly shots of him from the back, ending with his press conference with the Bats.

I had done a good amount of digging on Silas after the company outing yesterday. I’d always had to muster up the effort for the research part of a project, but I’d had no problems getting started with this one, not even trying to lie to myself that it was all for my article.

Part of it was, but I did a deeper dive than I would have for most clients. I’d confirmed his age, birthplace, found photos of him in little league as a kid in the Bronx and in all-state championships from high school after he’d moved outside of the city. I’d searched for videos of games he’d played for Washington and the awards he’d accumulated throughout his career.

I’d also found his wedding photo with a very beautiful woman and the date of his divorce, only a little more than a year ago.

I’d studied footage of his last game, unable to watch the exact moment of his career-ending injury.

That also explained the scar across his knee that I’d spotted when he’d dropped all his clothes. He’d needed two surgeries and a ton of rehab after his final game, but he’d seemed to move around just fine.

Especially when he didn’t have clothes on to get in his way.

While he’d held back certain details, the pieces he did share all led to the truth. He’d had an amazing career, and now his new team was drawing on his popularity to push theirs.

I couldn’t imagine that kind of pressure. No wonder he’d been looking for a distraction and had taken the lady who accidentally punched him out to dinner. He’d been a distraction for me too, but from life in general. That was why I’d been so ready and willing to dive into bed with him, never expecting to run into him again when lust wasn’t clouding every sense of good judgment I had.

I really had to get that part of knowing him out of my head, especially today, but it was hard to forget something that was branded into my brain.

“Can you get me an autograph? I swear I won’t show anyone until you tell me I can.”

“I’ll see how it goes today,” I said as I caught her bus pull up to the curb in my periphery. All those cuts of Silas’s ass had distracted me enough to lose track of time.

“Have a great day at school, and I’ll pick you up from softball later.” I pulled her into a hug. The days of my sister being too cool to hug me back hadn’t come yet, and I relished how she’d pull me close and rest her head on my shoulder for a split second before we broke apart.

I waved when she glanced over at me right before stepping onto the bus.

Taking care of a little person, or at least one a few inches shorter than me, was a lot.

But she was the only family I had, and she’d always be worth it.