Page 27

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

RACHEL

“Silas told me I had a good arm,” Taylor said as we climbed our outside steps.

“He told me you had a good arm too,” I said as I fumbled for my keys. Bonnie had given a few of us a ride home. The girls had been excited and animated the whole way, talking about how cool it was to see some of the Brooklyn Bats at their game today.

Taylor smiled and nodded but didn’t say much. My poor sister was probably afraid of saying the wrong thing and looking like she knew Silas better than they did. It was enough for me to worry about not being too obvious if I spoke to Silas, and I hated that Taylor was feeling that same pressure.

“When did he tell you that? He didn’t even come over to talk to you.”

“We texted back and forth toward the end of the game,” I told her as I trudged up the stairs. “And I invited him over for dinner. I thought we’d order pizza.”

I glanced back at Taylor, my stomach clenching at possibly throwing too much at her at once. But when I found her gaze, her smile was as wide as her eyes.

“You were texting at the game? That is so cute.”

Cute wasn’t the word I’d use to describe texting my secret boyfriend at her game because I couldn’t just walk over and say hi. Or kiss him hello.

The joke I’d made about him showing off what was mine had a little angry truth to it, as all I’d heard from the women around me was how hot Silas was, one mom whispering to us how she’d let him do “anything he wanted” to her.

I’d managed a tight smile without telling her to back the fuck off. After taking this long to meet a man I cared about, I hated that I couldn’t shout to the world how wonderful he was and that he was off-limits.

“It’s okay that I invited him over?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Taylor said, shrugging at me as she dropped her duffel bag by the door. “It’s not like he’s creepy like Mom’s boyfriend was.”

I stilled as my heart bottomed out in my stomach.

Like my grandmother, I’d never let one of my mother’s boyfriends into the house after Taylor was born, for that very reason.

“When did you meet one of Mom’s boyfriends?”

“A long time ago. When she used to come around and ask to take me for ice cream after school for a couple of weeks. I think it was, like, fourth grade, maybe.” Taylor’s brow scrunched.

“I remember,” I said, eyeing my sister. Mom had had a sudden interest in Taylor for a couple of weeks and had shown up to take her for ice cream a few times. I hadn’t wanted to upset my sister by refusing and starting an argument, so I’d let her go.

I didn’t think Mom would steal her away since she had no intention of taking care of her, but I’d still had my heart in my throat until they came back, the last time hiding around the corner to make sure they didn’t wander anywhere else after.

Most people would be able to say with at least a little certainty that their mother wouldn’t sell their little sister if she took her outside. The fact that I had next to none was so sad it was laughable.

“The owner was her boyfriend. Or at least, a guy she liked. He’d give me a big cone, and I’d sit at the one table they had while he’d take her in the back. I was little, but I remember this weird skin-crawling type of feeling when he’d look at me.” Her face twisted in a grimace. “I can’t explain it.”

She didn’t have to.

“You never told me that,” I said, my voice strained from my heart hammering in my ears. I needed to call Aunt Lucy again to set up a meeting with her lawyer. I’d thought when Taylor was a kid, Mom wouldn’t want to parade a small child in front of a new guy, like how she’d kept the guys she dated away from me when I was younger. But I guessed if her kid was a means to an end, it had made it okay to her.

Having such a deep disdain for the woman who’d given birth to me was always a special kind of awful.

“Mom told me it was our secret, and back then, I still wanted to see her, so I didn’t want to get her into trouble with you. And the ice cream was good,” she said before raising her head, a tiny smile on her lips as if she was trying to calm me down. “But I’m glad she doesn’t bother with us anymore.”

I nodded despite the knot coiling tighter in my stomach.

The chime of the doorbell made me jump, the aggravation from what my sister had just told me distracting me enough to forget that my secret boyfriend was coming over for dinner.

“Nothing bad happened, Rach.” She grabbed my arm before I headed to the door. “Please don’t let her ruin things for you anymore.”

A lump poked at the back of my throat from my sister’s pleading gaze. Mom had taken enough from both of us. Having to sneak around with Silas was infuriating, but I didn’t want to taint the time I’d get with him tonight by dwelling on what Taylor had just told me.

I was glad for him to get a chance to know my sister better tonight and to bring him all the way into my life, even if I couldn’t tell many people that he was there.

Unlike what could be brewing with my mother, my situation with Silas was a temporary annoyance, and all I could do at the moment was make the most of it.

I rushed down the stairs, trying to focus on that and not the rage at what my sister had just told me, shutting my eyes and taking a long breath before I opened the door.

I laughed when I found Silas, in the same sexy T-shirt and shorts, holding a large box of donuts.

“I didn’t know what to bring, and there was a long line at this place when I parked, so I’m hoping that means the donuts are decent.”

He snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me close after I shut the door.

“Hey, beautiful,” he said and brushed my lips with a soft kiss, narrowing his eyes as he backed away. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I said, clearing my throat when my voice cracked. “Long day.” I kissed his cheek. “Thank you for this.” I grabbed the box of donuts. “We haven’t ordered yet, and I’m not sure what you want?—”

Silas pressed his finger against my lips.

“I’ll ask you again. What’s wrong?” He squeezed the back of my neck. “Is it still okay to be here tonight?”

“Of course it is.” I smiled as he kneaded my neck.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t walk over to kiss you hello. I’m hoping we can find a way around this soon.”

“It’s fine. It is what it is for now, right? I understand. That’s why I texted to invite you instead of walking up to you.”

I eased back to head upstairs, but Silas stilled and gave a gentle shake of his head.

“My sister just told me a story about our mother and one of her boyfriends from when she was younger. She was fine, but I didn’t know my mother had brought her around one of the sleazy guys she was dating at the time. The only reason Taylor brought it up was because she said you weren’t like any of those guys.” I smiled up at him. “And you’re wonderful, so yeah, you’re not.”

His shoulders jerked with a chuckle.

“I’m sorry you both had to go through all that.”

I nodded. “It just makes the thought of having to fight her to stay away that much more exhausting.”

“But you’re not fighting alone this time. So don’t think of it like that.” He kissed my forehead. “Let’s head upstairs, and you can let me buy you both dinner.”

I exhaled a long gust of air, still not all the way relaxed but lighter. Since my grandmother had died, alone was how I’d rolled in life. Yes, I had Auden and my sister and some friends, but no one close enough to feel the pressure of what my daily life had always been and share it with me.

Maybe I couldn’t kiss him in public yet or claim him as mine other than behind a closed door, but in addition to all the butterflies that would take off in my stomach whenever we were together, he brought me a soul-deep relief I hadn’t known I’d craved so badly.

“Taylor,” I called up the stairs as Silas followed me. “Silas brought the good donuts.”

She met us at the door and held it open.

“Hi, Silas. Again,” she said, smiling as she took the box from me and headed into the kitchen. “I’m feeling barbecue chicken pizza and some kind of calzone. It was a long game.” She stretched her arms and let out a groan.

“I’m fine with whatever you both want as long as you let me pay.”

I leaned into Silas when he draped his arm around me. I wasn’t sure how to handle PDA in front of my sister, but she’d already seen his hand on my ass, so touching above the waist didn’t seem so wrong.

I hadn’t asked Taylor how she’d feel if he stayed over and hadn’t even asked Silas if he’d want to. But for now, we’d eat dinner, and I’d see where the night would take us, even though I was rooting for it to last into tomorrow morning.

“I’m glad those are the good donuts.” Silas yanked me closer and kissed my temple. “I guess I do have luck parking around here.”

“How many times have you been here?” Taylor asked.

“Only a couple,” I answered for her, trying for a quick change of subject. “I’ll order everything. You guys can go sit on the couch.”

I rushed into the kitchen and pulled up the takeout app on my phone. While I loved having Silas here, it was weird. Like a surreal fantasy to have him in my house sharing pizza with my sister and me rather than living in my head as a romantic dream I couldn’t have.

The restrictions on that dream were still the same, and like Silas, I hoped we’d find a way around it, even though I couldn’t think of anything.

After I finished ordering dinner, I headed to my room to change and left Silas and Taylor in the living room. I wasn’t sure where my anxiety was drawing from the most—thinking of my mother showing up unannounced again, or someone seeing Silas here and it getting back to everyone who wasn’t supposed to know.

After I changed, I headed to the fridge and took a swig of the open pinot grigio I’d shelved on the inside of the door right from the bottle.

I shut my eyes and leaned against my counter, pissed at ruining what should be an amazing time in my life with a brick of dread across my chest.

“So, you really like my sister?” I heard Taylor ask Silas before I headed into the living room. Backing up a couple of steps, I went back to the counter and waited for Silas’s response.

“I do. A lot. She’s incredible.”

“She is.”

I smiled at the stern octave in my sister’s voice, one I hadn’t heard before.

“You can’t hurt her. She has never brought a guy here. So you must mean something to her.”

“I’d never hurt her, Taylor. This sneaking around sucks, and I’m looking for a way around it. She’s lucky to have a good sister to protect her.”

I heard the smile in Silas’s voice.

“All she’s done is take care of me. She needs someone to take care of her.”

Taylor’s voice was small this time, and I hated the guilt coating her words.

“I know,” Silas said, his voice soft. “And all I want to do is take care of her. Even though she’ll fight me, I promise I’ll find a way.”

I bit my lip as I tried to swallow the lump resurging in my throat.

“I’m guessing dinner is on the way,” Silas said, craning his head toward the kitchen and catching my gaze, reaching into his pocket. “Tell me how much.”

My cheeks heated as I grinned back at him. If we had to sneak around for however long, I needed to get better at it.

“Thirty minutes,” I said, holding up my phone before he snatched it away to read the total amount on the screen. He reached into his wallet and handed me a lot more than the total, but I’d fight him on that later.

“Stop worrying about me, kiddo,” I said, tapping my toe against Taylor’s ankle as I sat between them. “That’s my job.”

“I can worry if I want,” she said, straightening from the couch and shifting toward the hallway, her eyes darting back and forth between us. “Call me when dinner’s here. I won’t come out until it is.”

I caught her smirk as she headed to her room and shut the door.

“Is it sad when your thirteen-year-old sister is your wingwoman?” I said, sputtering out a laugh as I dropped my head into my hands.

Silas grabbed my legs and swung them around until I was lying flat on the couch, and he climbed over me, gazing down at me with a wicked grin.

“Now, give me the kiss I’ve wanted all damn day,” he growled before slanting his mouth over mine. I sighed into the kiss, wrapping my legs around his waist as he rocked into me.

“Fuck, you taste good,” he murmured against my lips as he eased back. “I can’t keep going too long, or else I’ll have to eat with a pillow on my lap.”

I burst out laughing and buried my head into his chest.

“Sorry for eavesdropping. It was cute hearing you both talk about me.”

“Taylor is a good kid. She loves you and appreciates you.” My eyes fluttered as he sifted his fingers through my hair.

“I know she does.”

“And I’m pretty crazy about you too,” he said, grazing his lips along my jaw.

“I sort of had that impression. And back at you,’ I whispered. “I’d hoped she wouldn’t grow up as fast as I had to, but I guess that’s what happens when you have a parent with the maturity of a child.”

“ You’re her parent. And you’re doing a great job.”

“Thank you,” I said, scraping my nails up and down his back. “You guys leave for Toronto after the game tomorrow night, right?”

“I do. We’ll be back at the end of next week. Why?”

“You wouldn’t want to stay over, would you?”

He furrowed his brow.

“Why wouldn’t I want to?”

“You probably have a lot to do tomorrow to prep?—”

“I’ve packed for road trips for my entire adult life. You saw my apartment. I can grab what I need and pack in minutes. Taylor would be okay with me staying here?”

“I think so. I’ll pull her to the side after dinner to make sure.” I took his face in my hands. “This is tough, but a night before you go would make it a little better. We just have to be quiet.”

“I can be quiet.” He snickered. “You’re the loud one.”

“I can be quiet too,” I said, shoving his shoulder.

“I’ve made you come enough times to know that, no, you can’t.” He feathered the back of his hand down my cheek. “I love making you scream.”

His lips were just about to touch mine when my sister’s voice filtered down the hallway.

“I’m coming out to get my backpack,” Taylor said in a loud voice from behind her door.

Silas dropped his chin to his chest, laughing as he backed off me and settled at the edge of the couch while I scurried to sit up.

Taylor rushed past us and grabbed the bag as she shielded her eyes and jetted back down the hallway.

“I don’t feel like a good parent anymore,” I said after I heard her door slam. I rested my elbow on my knee, cupping my forehead.

“That’s not true. You raised a good kid who wants you to be happy.” He kissed my cheek, running his nose down my neck. “And I promise to make you really happy at least three times before the sun comes up.”

Dinner went by in a blur, and when my sister retreated to her room for the night, she told both of us that she’d see us in the morning, saving me from having to pull her aside to see if it was okay.

I couldn’t decide if I should be proud or worried that my sister had assumed Silas would be spending the night.

“Want to know a secret?” I asked Silas as we lounged in my bed. I’d pulled on his jersey at some point during the night, but he was gloriously naked, his cocky grin blinding even in the dark.

“Sure. What’s that?”

“You’re the only guy I’ve ever had in my apartment,” I whispered. “Ever,” I repeated.

“That can’t be right,” Silas said, shaking his head. “You never snuck anyone in when you were young?”

“I always met the guys I dated somewhere.” I turned to face him, straightening out his jersey as it bunched up under me. I’d pulled it on as a joke, but instead of him laughing, his eyes ignited with a feral lust before he pounced on me.

“I’m touched,” he said, pressing a hand to his gorgeous chest.

“You should be,” I said, hooking my leg around his hip.

“How about when I get back, you and your sister can spend the weekend with me?”

“At your apartment?”

“No. My parents’ house. They have two extra bedrooms and a huge yard. Plus, Putnam County is far enough away from Brooklyn that we won’t run into anyone. Probably.” He shrugged. “My ass isn’t so popular that I have photographers camping out wherever I go. At least not that I’ve seen.”

I laughed and crawled on top of him.

“This is another boyfriend thing, I guess. Meeting the parents?” I lifted a brow.

“They’d like to finally put the face with the name.”

“You talk about me?” I squinted at Silas.

“Of course I do. They’re thrilled I met someone I care about. They’ve been worried about me ever since my divorce. So now, I can introduce them to my beautiful girlfriend and her sister, and they can relax.”

“They know the whole story of…us?”

“I kept it mostly clean, but yes.” He wove his fingers into my hair. “They know I’m with someone I care about. A lot.” He leaned forward to peck my lips. “I’ll take you both around town. You can see where I used to play.”

“The Silas Jones tour,” I teased, my heart still fluttering at the way he’d said care about a lot .

“Now’s your chance to be a groupie. So, you’ll come?”

I propped my elbow on his chest and rested my chin against my hand.

“We’re in. Well, I’m in, but I think Taylor will be on board. I’m excited to meet your parents. Nervous but excited.”

“Nothing to be nervous about,” he whispered, his smile wide and gorgeous. “Who wouldn’t love you?” he whispered before bringing his mouth back to mine.

Despite having my lips fused to this man for most of the night, it was always so easy to get lost in his kiss.

Who wouldn’t love you?

It wasn’t a declaration, but close enough to make my heart race.

I’d written I love you a million times on the page, but when it came time to really pour out all I was feeling for this amazing and unexpected man, I couldn’t find the words.