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CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

SILAS

“Managers aren’t supposed to play hooky,” Lee teased as he spotted me in the hotel lobby.

He’d come to find me after this afternoon’s press conference, and I’d pulled him aside and told him what happened, including how management had accidentally started a fiasco trying to keep me relevant enough to stay popular.

I wouldn’t tell Rachel about that part of this mess yet. Once the Bats made proper restitution, or at least an offer for it, I’d tell her why they needed to make it right. But right now, I just needed to see her in person and make sure she was okay.

“The assistant coach can handle it for two games. I asked the guys not to embarrass me while I was away.”

Lee snickered. “If there is anything else you want, I’d say now is a good time to ask.” He shook his head. “I still can’t believe they did that.”

“They pushed it along, but something like this would have happened anyway. Maybe not this bad. This does make me wonder how much of the traction on my social media accounts this year came from them behind the scenes, but I can’t worry about that now.”

“I’m happy for you,” he said, slapping my arm. “Glad you finally woke up.”

“Thank you. Maybe you should too,” I told him, hoisting the strap of my duffel bag onto my shoulder.

His smile faded as he shook his head.

“My situation is a little different, Si.”

“Maybe it’s more complicated, yes. But I think if you stop holding yourself back, things could change.”

“Look at you, all optimistic.” He squinted at me, a smirk lifting the side of his mouth. “What happened to you?”

“I fell in love with a romance novelist.” I shrugged. “It’s made me less of a brooding asshole, I guess.”

I flicked my wrist to check the time on my watch. “And if you’ll excuse me, I have a train to catch.” I slapped him on the back. “See you back in Brooklyn.”

When I’d texted Taylor before the conference, she’d told me that her sister was okay, just tired and sad after her boss let her go. I didn’t blame Rachel for shutting off her phone, and I hated thinking of her feeling exposed and unsafe after what had happened today.

I had no doubt that it would blow over, and I hoped I’d given them something else to talk about with a more positive spin.

I’d told Rachel I loved her many times, but I’d never admitted to wanting to spend the rest of my life with her. Everything was out in the open, the worst had already happened, and we were still standing. The risk was gone, so what was the point of holding back now?

I was all in. She was mine as much as I belonged to her, but I was terrified that upending her life, even though we were both equally at fault for being so brazen, would be a deal-breaker for her. She’d worked so hard not to be the parent her mother was, and I knew the public shame of how we were caught had to dredge up some of those terrible memories she’d mentioned to me.

I didn’t know how to fix everything, but I would give it all I had to try.

I’d made it to the station just in time to hop on the train to Penn. I’d debated flying, but with getting to the airport and security checks, this seemed like the quickest way. My nerves made it seem like the train inched all the way to New York, but to get to the other side of what Rachel and I were going through, I needed some patience.

I stepped out of the subway station near Rachel’s house and took off my baseball cap, refusing to put on any kind of bullshit disguise to visit my girlfriend. It was almost midnight and dark, but I didn’t care. Things were going to be different now—or, at least, I hoped so.

I climbed her outside steps and rang the bell. I hadn’t spoken to her at all since I’d put her into a cab this morning, and it was surreal how different life was from a few short hours ago.

But now, I could take my girl on a date, she could sit behind the dugout at games, and she could come visit me on any road stop she wanted. I could claim her to the whole fucking world with no repercussions when she claimed me right back.

I had five missed calls from Rachel, but I’d wanted to wait to talk to her in person and honestly didn’t know who was around to listen to and twist our conversation.

I wanted this to be a beginning for us, but I was afraid everything that had happened today could make it an end.

I wouldn’t accept it and would fight like hell to get her back, but I was scared to lose her at all.

The locks clicked as Taylor peeked her head out from behind the door.

“Sorry it’s later than I thought, kiddo.”

I’d texted Taylor to let her know that I was on my way here but had asked her not to say anything to her sister. If I’d told Rachel that I was leaving the team to come to her, she’d insist that she was fine but after the day she’d had, I wasn’t going to leave her alone like this.

And I needed to be with her right now, too.

“It’s okay. We’re both too wired to sleep anyway. Come in,” she said, waving me in and shutting the door. “I haven’t been outside all day. I keep looking for people with cameras in the bushes. I guess this is the closest we’ll get to famous, right?”

“Until they get distracted by the next thing, which I’m hoping happens tomorrow.” I nodded up the stairs. “How is she?”

“She’s okay, I think. Worried about you. I don’t think she’s let go of her phone since the press conference.”

I smiled. “She doesn’t have anything to worry about. And neither do you, okay?”

“I know that. That press conference was pretty cool. Like a movie.” She peered up at me, a slow smile coasting across her mouth. “Rachel deserves that. She deserves you.”

“I will promise you one thing,” I said, grabbing her hand, “I will fight every single day to be the man your sister deserves.”

“I don’t think you have to fight that hard,” she whispered and squeezed back. “You’re pretty awesome. I’m glad she found you.”

“What’s going on? Ah, Silas,” Mrs. Ruiz said, beaming at me as she padded out of her apartment. “I couldn’t sleep, so I was up baking. Everything okay?”

“It is, or it will be. Nice to see you, Alba,” I said, praying I remembered her first name correctly.

“He came here to surprise Rachel,” Taylor told her, still looking at me.

“Ah. You know, Taylor, I could use some help with cleaning up, if you wouldn’t mind coming inside with me.”

I had to look away to hide my laugh when she jerked her head toward her front door.

“Sure,” Taylor said, smirking at me. “I’ll see you later.”

I nodded as Mrs. Ruiz took her by the hand and pulled her through her open apartment door.

I laughed and climbed the stairs, taking them two at a time when I lost patience. I tiptoed through the open door and slipped inside, closing it with a gentle push.

“Taylor,” Rachel called out, her voice raspy and raw, rubbing her eyes as she trudged toward the hallway. Her hair was in a messy bun, strands falling over her face. She wore the same tank and shorts from this morning, and she was so damn beautiful I almost forgot how to speak.

“Why were you downstairs— What are you doing here?”

Her eyes, red and swollen as if she’d been crying for a good part of the day, grew wide when they met mine.

“I took off for a couple of days to come see my girl.” I dropped my bag by the door and stretched out my arms. “Do I get a kiss hello or what?”

“Do you…” She trailed off, her face crumpling as her jaw shook. “Jesus, Silas.”

She ran into my arms and sobbed into my chest.

“Hey, don’t cry, baby.” I pressed her flush to my chest as I rocked her back and forth. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

“You?” She popped her head up. “ I’m sorry. If I hadn’t come to see you and played that stupid game in the bar?—”

“I loved that stupid game. Every fucking second of it. And that you rearranged your life just to come see me and make sure I was okay.” I took her face in my hands, swiping her tears away with my thumbs. “That’s why I left Boston early. A call or a text wasn’t going to cut it today.”

“Are you in trouble at work? Between me working for the PR agency and sponsoring my sister’s team?—”

“No, Slugger. I can assure you that I’m not. In fact, they were all too willing to give me a couple of days off. I am going to stay here and take you out to breakfast in the morning. People may stare, and I honestly don’t give a shit.”

“I love you so much,” she said, swallowing when her voice cracked. “And I love that I don’t have to hide it.”

“Me too. And the next home game, you’re right behind the dugout. And I’m going to kiss you in front of the whole goddamn stadium so everyone knows you’re mine.”

“Still can’t shake that alpha thing, huh?” She gave me a soggy smile.

“When it comes to you, never. I just hope you can forgive me.”

“Why?”

“Because,” I breathed out, rubbing my hand up and down her back, “I’ve brought a lot of mess into your life. And I made it pretty damn miserable for you today.”

She lifted her gaze, grabbing the back of my head with both hands.

“You didn’t do any of that. We did that. And I wouldn’t trade one single second with you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, besides my sister. As long as I have you, whatever happened today doesn’t matter.”

My shoulders slumped, the tension knotting my back since my meeting with Kent and Cole finally loosening enough to breathe.

“You have no idea how much you have me.”

I was seconds away from dropping to one knee and begging her to marry me. But I didn’t want the day that we went viral to be the same day I officially asked her to spend the rest of her life with me.

And I needed a big ring.

But until then, I had the girl, and she was all I’d ever want.

We fell into a kiss, sweet and full of relief at first before it caught fire as usual. I lifted her by the waist, drifting my hands up her thighs and playing with the hem of those tiny shorts.

I’d claim her on the couch now and in front of the world tomorrow.

“Hey, guys. I’m sorry.” Taylor’s timid voice wafted in through the hallway. “But Auden is on the phone, and she says she has to talk to you right now.”

I groaned, sitting on the edge of the couch and grabbing a pillow to place over my lap.

Rachel laughed, smoothing down her tank before she opened the door. “I’m here,” she said as she pressed Taylor’s phone to her ear. “Why are you calling my sister so late?—”

She held the phone away from her ear as I heard Auden’s muffled voice, loud enough to make out from the couch.

“I haven’t checked my sales dashboard all day, but viral videos never do much for me,” Rachel said, holding the phone in the crook of her shoulder as she flipped up her laptop screen. She punched a few strokes on the keyboard and gasped.

“I have never sold that many books in one day since…ever.”

I popped off the couch, still holding the pillow as I looked at the screen from behind Rachel.

“How many do you usually sell?” I asked.

“Um, about a hundredth of that in a non-release month. Not even.” She glanced back at me, her eyes wide with a different kind of shock. “Auden found a couple of viral videos from book influencers today and told me to check my sales. And there are… a lot.”

She grabbed the phone and stabbed at the screen.

“You’re on speaker, and Taylor and Silas are here.”

“Okay, the last video I found had ten thousand views from only an hour ago, and I came across five others.”

“Are you searching me?”

“Well, yes. Of course. I figured I’d watch so you wouldn’t have to, but I didn’t find any of those twats who were talking about you this morning. It’s all about your books. I found a comment from someone who thinks she may have seen Silas at one of your book signings. Your readers are going to eat this up with a spoon. Fuck Gayle. Who needs to write PR when they’re famous?”

“It’s one day,” Rachel said. “I’m a temporary fascination, and they’ll move on.”

“Not when the press conference circulates. And this isn’t even a full day. Having them tag your author account was like striking gold.”

“Okay, calm down. I may get to pay my bills for another month, which is fantastic—let’s not push it.”

“Ugh, I can’t believe you.”

Rachel and I shared a laugh at Auden’s groan.

“I think she’s right,” I said. “I think all this attention is going to get R.M. Dioro everywhere.”

“Well, since Rachel Manning is out of a job, it would be nice for my alter ego to support us for once. Listen, I have to go. Thanks for letting me know. I’m sure if I keep circulating, you’ll tell me.”

“You could be a little excited.”

“I am.” Rachel met my gaze with that same fucking smile that knocked me on my ass the first day, and I’d never been able to get up. “I got exactly what I wanted today.”

“Fine. Go sex up your famous boyfriend, and I’ll report back in the morning. Oops. Sorry, Taylor.”

“I’ll be in my room. With my headphones on and the door closed,” Taylor said, pushing past us toward the hallway.

“How do you feel about that?” I asked, nodding to her laptop screen.

“What? That all this got me a few book sales? It’s good, and I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.”

“I think it’s going to last a lot longer than you think.”

She rolled her eyes.

“I’d say let’s go back to what we were doing, but…” She flicked her eyes to Taylor’s closed door. “Rain check for later?”

“You should know by now,” I said, pulling her back, “I’m not going anywhere. Not tonight. Not tomorrow.” I yanked her closer and pressed my mouth against hers. She grasped the collar of my shirt as she smiled into the kiss.

“Not ever.”