Page 34 of A Taste of Grace

Unbelievable

Madeline threw me off guard so much when she stood up in the middle of the sanctuary that I couldn’t think straight. Of all days, my crackhead baby mama chose one of the busiest days to waltz her wannabe diva behind into my church to show out and leave me fixing her mess like she always did.

Any other time, my ushers would have stopped her in her tracks, but the old school members of my church knew who she was.

They attended my over-the-top wedding and witnessed my commitment to my first wife.

They also remembered how crushed I was when I had to announce that I was divorced, although I never shared that Madeline was a drug addict.

They were probably as shocked as I was at how this played out.

I was too stunned to take the mic from Madeline as she cracked a buttery smile that used to turn me into jelly.

I was surprised drugs didn’t rot her teeth out, but here she was, skinning and grinning like she had just returned from a European vacation and had not abandoned our girls without so much as a goodbye note.

Her entire performance, I bit my tongue so hard it hurt. Only after the service did I collapse.

“God, please help me,” I said the words over and over as tears flowed down my cheeks and onto my desk.

That woman caused so much pain in my life. I thought I would lose my mind and possibly my girls. I tried to process everything quickly, but it was too much and at the wrong time. My life was perfect, and she came back to ruin me.

When Grace knocked on my door, I was embarrassed and in my feelings. She had never seen me this weak, and she wasn’t about to today.

“Let me in…I’m here for you.” Her gentle voice cut to my heart, but I didn’t want her to witness my breakdown.

When I dismissed her, I stared out my office window until my mother arrived with the girls. By then, I was coherent. When I opened the door, Madeline’s conniving self stood next to Mama.

“Come in,” I said the words in a steady voice that surprised me.

The girls jumped on my legs, their eyes wild.

“Who is this lady, Daddy?” Hannah screamed the question.

Esther was uncharacteristically quiet. Her eyes were wide as she wrapped her small body around my leg like a pretzel.

I leaned down and motioned for them to jump into my arms. They rushed into them, then I carried them behind my desk.

I positioned each of them on my knee as they wrapped their arms around my neck.

I looked at Madeline, who gazed at us as if she sucked a lemon.

“This is your mommy, the one whose tummy you were in.”

The girls stared at Madeline in silence. My mother gave me a frustrated shake of her head. Madeline held her hands with a bowed head as she stole quick glances at the girls in my arms.

That was when Grace returned to my office. As soon as she walked through the door, the girls slid from my lap and ran to her. The alarm on their faces paralyzed me. I needed to nip this mess with Madeline in the bud, so I sent Grace and my mother home so I could take care of business.

In hindsight, I knew I hurt Grace, but I needed Madeline gone. If I didn’t shut her foolishness down, she would return like a cancerous growth.

Madeline and the girls eyed each other but remained silent. Fortunately, the girls were occupied with a box of toys, art supplies, and a fully charged tablet Grace convinced me to keep for them in my office. Madeline and I spoke softly so the girls won’t overhear our conversation.

“Why are you here?” I wasn’t going to coddle Madeline after she showed out so publicly.

“To tell you I’m clean and to be in my girl’s life. I want them to know me.”

“We’ll have to go through legal stuff for all that. As you can see, they’re content with my new wife and me.”

Madeline laughed.

“What wife?” She scanned the room with her hands in the air. “You mean that mammy you pushed out of your office? What kind of marriage do y’all have? Is she your beard? Or your whore?”

I sucked in my breath, taking in Madeline’s words. I wanted to slap the shit out of her. Her mean-spirited words always pushed me into a dark place I thought I’d been delivered from.

Although her words were vile, she was right about my disrespect to Grace.

How could I be so dumb? I barely spoke two words to her and didn’t introduce her properly.

I sent her away and kept Madeline, sending the wrong message to everyone.

Although everything in me wanted to rush home to Grace, I needed to finish what I had started with Madeline.

“I just want them to know I’m their real mama, and I’m alive. Your mammy will never take my place in their eyes.”

“Grace is the one who takes care of my girls, so she will always have a place in their lives too.”

“She’s their mammy, not their mother. They’re my flesh and blood, not hers.”

“She doesn’t need to be connected to them by blood to be their mother.”

Madeline tapped her long fingernails on her Birkin bag.

“Look. I’m not here to fight. My friend Roxanne told me that she tried to take my place when I left, but you rejected her. I heard you got married, and I wanted the girls to know me. I’ll leave my address and keep it moving,” she said.

Roxanne and Madeline’s evil tails were in cahoots all this time? If my ex could be that conniving, what were her intentions with our kids?

“Y’all are foul. But to be clear, you’re not asking for custody?”

She turned and looked at the girls as they played dress up with their Barbies. She blew out a raspberry when she faced me again.

“Hell no. I don’t want them kids. That’s why I had a hysterectomy. Ain’t no nigga eva nuttin’ up in me and making my ass fat again.”

For the first time since she arrived, Madeline’s hood rat nature showed up. It was cute when I was in the world, but now that I had a pure woman in my life, I couldn’t stand that ratchet behavior.

“Good to know.”

When Madeline stared me down, I cocked my head, annoyed.

“Don’t pop up like this again.” I pushed my chair back and pointed to the door.

“Don’t worry. I got what I needed.” She chuckled and examined her nail bed.

“You’re still petty, Madeline.”

“And you’re still a jackass.”

Madeline eased from her chair and waved to the girls.

“Bye, girls.”

“Bye.” They waved their hands and watched Madeline waltz out of my office.

I had so much explaining to do.

On the way home, I called Grace, but she didn’t answer her phone. When I got to a red light, I texted her.

Me:

I’m so sorry about today. The girls and I are on the way home.

When she didn’t respond immediately, I put the phone down. At the next red light, a notification came through on my watch, alerting me that Grace had texted me.

Grace:

Lunch is at the house. I’m heading out tonight on an earlier flight to DC. Will be back later this week.

Me:

What?

Grace’s flight wasn’t supposed to leave until tomorrow. Was she so angry with me that she changed her itinerary? When she didn’t respond, I put my phone down again.

A feeling of dread rested in my stomach. Grace’s feelings were already tender. I hadn’t been a good steward of the gift God gave me. I needed to work this out sooner rather than later.