Page 11 of A Taste of Grace

Temperance

With every fiber of my being, I wanted to pick Grace up and take her to my bedroom, undress her, and make love to her until she screamed my name.

From the minute I entered the house, my patience was tested.

Everything that made me a man came to attention as I took in the fullness of her body.

When she wore her culottes earlier, I couldn’t fully discern her shape, but in her casual clothes, I saw everything then some.

Between her too-tight shirt with her breasts perked up just right and those child-bearing hips and shapely legs in those flimsy leggings, I was seconds from coming undone.

If she were mine, I’d have her welcoming me home after a long night by lifting her sexy limbs around me and clutching me tight before I ripped every stitch of clothing from her body, oiled her down, and pounded her senseless.

But she wasn’t mine. I remembered that after I welcomed her warm, sweet lips and tongue wrestled her as if my life depended on it. When we parted, I saw concern in her eyes. Before she could apologize, I reached for the back of her neck and gave her another peck on her juicy lips.

“I wanted that as much as you did.” I whispered the words into her ear.

She grinned and touched her fingers to her mouth.

“Have a seat. I’m going to get us some water.” I retrieved a cold bottle of water from the refrigerator and gulped it like I was a parched man who had hiked in the desert for a week.

I handed Grace her bottle. She opened it and sipped it slowly. I sat on a stool at my high-top kitchen counter and ushered her to do the same.

“I should go home.” Grace tapped the face of her small silver wristwatch with her finger.

I shook my head, taking in her carriage. She was extremely calm and very introverted, unlike me. That meant I would most likely have to ask her a lot of questions or initiate certain topics to assess how she processed our interaction.

“Not in this weather, you won’t. A thunderstorm is coming through tonight. I have a guest bedroom you can stay in.” I pointed toward the back of the house and spoke quickly and quietly.

“I live only fifteen minutes from here.”

“I don’t care. The roads are slick, and it’s dark. I need you to stay safe.”

“I rested after the girls went to sleep. I grew up in the country, so I’m not afraid. I’ll take my time.”

“No, Grace. Allow me to protect one of God’s most precious gifts.” I extended my hands.

Grace looked at them with a slight look of confusion on her face before placing her hands in mine. I closed my fingers in hers and held them firm. She smiled, her deep dimples popping from her cheeks as our gazes locked.

“You are so pretty.” The words flowed from my mouth effortlessly as I took in how stunning she was even in casual attire.

I didn’t think Grace’s dimples could get any deeper, but they did.

“That, sir, is why I need to take my behind home.” She released my hands and placed hers in her lap.

Her soft voice soothed me like instrumental jazz. When I reached for her hand again, she gave it to me. I intertwined our fingers and placed our hands on the counter.

“I am mandated as a minister to praise the beauty of God’s creation and care for His sheep. It’s rare for me to have such a special gift enter my home.”

“I’m only allowing you to praise me like this because I love the Lord and want Him to be pleased with me.”

I licked my lips as she teased me in a way that made me want to tease her more. I also rejoiced that she was a woman of faith.

“Believe me. He is quite pleased with you. Receive the compliment, Grace.” I grinned.

She took another sip of water before saying, “Thank you.”

“Seriously, I want to thank you for taking care of the girls. I’ve never seen them gravitate to anyone like they did you. What’s your payment for services?”

“I adore Nita, the girls, and you, so it’s free.”

It didn’t go over my head that Grace included me in her adoration list. Those subtle, flirty insertions made me want to draw even closer to her.

“I always pay my debts. Tell you what. Join the girls and me after church for Sunday dinner. Come to Sunday service too. You can then drive over here afterward.”

Grace gazed into the dining room as if considering my offer.

“I’d love to see the girls again, so yes. But only if you let me bring something for dinner. I’m a pretty good cook, even if I say so myself.”

“Sounds like a plan.” I released her fingers and thrust my hands in my pockets.

Grace made herself comfortable on the couch as I went to my bedroom and changed. When I returned in a crew neck T-shirt and basketball shorts, she was snuggled on my couch reading some Bible Study notes I left on the coffee table.

“First Corinthians, chapter ten. You’ve highlighted the passage about temptation,” she said.

“Yes, as a pastor, I have to crucify my flesh daily. Look at how you’re tempting me tonight.” I gestured toward Grace’s body and shook my head.

Grace lowered to the table and stared at me.

“The feeling is mutual.”

Grace’s eyes drew me in like magnets as she checked me out and bit her lip before giving me the sweetest of smiles. Although she wore no makeup, her natural beauty shone as bright as the morning sun.

I often counseled couples about the temptations of the flesh, but it always hit differently when I felt tempted. My time with Roxanne came from a place of pain, but being with Grace warmed me from the inside out.

Since I had a strong relationship with God, I trusted the peace that overtook me in Grace’s presence.

What I felt was more than lust. I wanted Grace’s body, but I hungered to know the mysteries of her mind and emotions too.

It was as if I had broken a fast and was at an endless buffet.

I didn’t know where to start, but I knew that Grace could satisfy my hunger.

Her eyes held something mysterious and drew me to her like a drug.

We matched wits, and that wasn’t easy when I had to be so serious as the senior pastor of one of the largest churches in the tri-state area.

“Tell me about yourself, Grace.”

She checked her watch and frowned.

“It’s almost midnight. Aren’t you tired?”

I reached for her hand and held it firm.

“No. It’s rare for me to connect so quickly with someone who makes me want to get to know them better. I’m a conversationalist by nature. As a single father and a pastor who most people think is superhuman, it’s nice to just be Caleb.”

“I see.” Grace’s eyes crinkled.

“You’re kind and go above and beyond for my girls. I checked in on them. Their hair and nails are beautiful. Because of your care, I trust you and your heart.” I released her arm and leaned back, placing a throw pillow over my lap.

“Thank you. Speaking of your girls, do you know how badly they want a mother?”

I laughed.

“It’s all they talk about.”

“I know. They’re getting bullied at school because they aren’t like the other girls. They also told me how the women at church want you but not them.” Grace kept her voice low as silence lingered in the air.

I breathed deeply, disappointed that my babies shared such disturbing information with Grace. I had no idea they knew all of this. I felt the need to defend myself.

“It’s not easy being a pastor. People are drawn to the anointing of God on me as much as they are to me as a man. I try to protect my daughters as much as I can, but I guess I’m not doing enough.” I stared toward the hallway, my mind wandering as I tried to problem solve yet again.

I thought of Hannah and Esther’s pitiful faces as they begged for a mother.

“I know you’re trying, but there is no way that your daughters should carry that burden.”

“They obviously trust you, so thank you for easing some of that tonight.”

“It’s my pleasure to assist as I can. I may not be their mother, but I told them I would be their friend. To do that, I need to know you all better. Tell me who you are, Caleb.” Grace reached for me and squeezed my hand.

When she touched me, I sensed her nurturing spirit. Like the girls, I wanted to reveal my truth too.

“I never wanted to raise my children without a mother. I do the best I can to be there for them, but the older they get, the more I realize I am not enough. I want a wife and mother for them as much as they want a mother. I pray for her to come and believe that even if she doesn’t love me fully, it will be enough for her to respect and adore my girls. ”

“Do you have any candidates?”

I stared at Grace in disbelief, wondering if she was serious. Hadn’t she picked up on how attracted I was to her?

“Do you want me to answer truthfully?”

“Of course, I do.”

The sincerity in her voice strummed parts of my heart that hadn’t been touched in years.

“When a woman like you enters my life and pays attention to my girls, I pay attention to you. I’m not selfish enough to want companionship only for me. That’s why I want to know more about who you are. You stand out, and you are worth knowing since my girls already adore you.”

Grace blushed and nodded. She readjusted the throw over her legs before meeting my eyes.

“Well…I’m Dr. Gracelyn Toliver, an only child from a country town in Alabama.

I lived in DC after graduating from Tuskegee University.

I was an Office of Educational Innovation and Strategy employee until last year.

I was at the top of my field, a data analyst who oversaw a department of fifty employees before my unit was shut down by the government.

My mother died a month and two weeks ago.

I turned forty a day after I buried her.

It was a really dark time for me, so I moved to Farmerton.

I live in a house owned by my Uncle Keith. ”

Grace spoke matter-of-factly, as if she was reading a script. I could tell how much courage it took for her to share her story, so I wouldn’t press her for more details right now.

“Smart and pretty? Man…” I reached for her hand and kissed it.

She giggled but maintained her focus on my eyes.

“Thank you for sharing. Are you okay now?” I asked.

“Yes. I was thinking about Hannah and Esther and how much it means to have a mother. I can’t imagine being as young as they are and hungering for something they know is good but is out of their reach.

I want them to have their hearts’ desires so they can be headstrong and independent without fear.

I wouldn’t be who I am without my mother’s influence. They deserve that chance too.”

“I love that you see that in them. That shows me your heart. That’s why I want to elaborate on my stance about marriage.”

Grace squirmed, but I continued.

“Man was not meant to be alone. I know that better than anyone. Before I was a pastor, I was one of the whorish men you could meet. A few years back, I made a commitment to honor God in every area of my life, especially my body. I will only court the woman I plan to marry. No more dating to date. No premarital sex. It is too tempting.” I pointed to the Bible study notes.

“That means I’ll be firm and fast when I meet my bride.

Once my wife-to-be and I know we are committed to each other, I’m puttin’ a ring on it… expeditiously.”

“So the fact that I’m all snuggled up with you on your couch means…” Grace spoke the words almost in a whisper.

“That you are a viable candidate.”

Her hands gravitated to her chest.

“My goodness. Do you act like this with every candidate? ”

“There are no other candidates.”

“Oh.” Grace looked at her watch again and cleared her throat. “It’s getting really late.”

Grace’s deflection signaled to me that I might be saying too much too soon. I rose, and Grace did too. She folded the throw that covered her legs, watching me with intense eyes.

“Are you good?”

I needed to hear her say she was okay.

“I am. And Caleb?”

“Yes, Grace?”

“I am honored to be a candidate.”

Warmth spread through my chest as Grace gave me a toothy grin. In our exchange, I felt wanted at the most basic level.

“We’re going to get along just fine.”

When I smiled, Grace smiled right back. I put my hands in the pocket of my shorts so I wouldn’t grab her waist and suck her face off.

After she settled in for the night in my guest room, I went to my bedroom, got on my knees, and prayed.

“Thank you, Father, for unexpected blessings and answered prayer. You broke the mold when you created Gracelyn Toliver.”

The last thing I remembered before falling asleep was Grace’s sweet smile. That night, I got the best sleep of my life.