Page 32 of A Taste of Grace

Steady State

Although married life made me happier than I’d ever been, I was concerned about Grace. Yesterday, she seemed down. This would be her first Mother’s Day without her mother, so that was understandable.

After I picked the girls up from school and got home, she looked tired and her eyes were puffy.

“Are you okay?”

She nodded.

“Just thinking about Mama and how much I miss her.”

When I opened my arms, Grace walked into them. The scent of her freshly shampooed hair entered my nostrils.

“I don’t want the girls to see me down.”

I pulled back and held her shoulders.

“Although you’re amazing, you’re not superhuman. The girls will adore you even when you don’t feel your best.”

Tears filled Grace’s eyes. She looked away to avoid my glance, but I guided her chin back to me.

“We don’t need perfection. We need you.”

Grace wiped the tears from her eyes and nodded.

“Thanks for saying that.”

Before dinner, we went to the local playground and wore the girls out. That night, before they drifted off to sleep, they huddled around Grace.

“Are you going to stay with us?” Hannah asked.

“I don’t want you to leave, Mommy Grace.” Esther’s pouty lips pulled at my heartstrings.

I knew these questions came from Madeline’s abandonment. I hated that the girls still felt unstable, even after Grace brought such love and stability to our home.

“I’m realer than real…feel.” Grace extended an arm in front of each girl as they sat on the edge of their matching twin beds.

They each squeezed her arms and smiled.

“Yep, she’s real.” Hannah nodded at Esther, who nodded right back.

“Time for bed.” Grace’s kind voice filled the room.

Esther rubbed her little eyes. Both kids got on their knees to pray.

Short of being in Grace’s hot folds, this was by far my favorite time of day.

“God bless Mommy Grace and Daddy and all the people in the world. Thank you for making us a happy family. Please give us a little brother for Christmas. Amen.” Esther’s strong voice rang through the room.

“Amen,” I said with gusto, amused that when Esther led nightly prayers, she always prayed for a brother.

Grace remained silent and avoided my eyes. I tucked them into their respective beds before Grace and I kissed the top of their little foreheads. I checked the frog nightlight under the window. When we turned off the light, it flickered, casting a circle of lime green light in the space.

“Night night. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.”

Faint “okays” filled the room before I closed the door.

In the hallway, I gestured in the direction of my office.

“I’m going to work on tomorrow’s sermon.”

“Mind if I keep you company?”

“Of course.”

I smiled and quickened my steps toward my larger - than - average home office in the front of the house.

My mind lingered on the girls. I hated that Hannah and Esther clung to Grace like Velcro, often acting like she was going to leave them.

She couldn’t even go to the grocery store without them asking if she was coming back.

I wanted to find new ways to assure them that Grace was here to stay.

That was why I did everything in my power to make Grace happy, even paying her.

Grace moved to the corner of the office I set up for her two weekends ago.

She wasn’t a complainer by nature, but I noticed her weariness when she typed at the kitchen table or in bed.

I wanted her to have a designated space where she could perfect her craft.

We selected a standing desk and an ergonomic chair that she said felt like heaven.

We angled her work station, so she had a clear view of the backyard behind my desk.

Although I had studied the Bible, read, or written notes for my sermons and engagements in solitude for years, Grace’s quiet presence in my office always comforted me, reminding me of God’s faithfulness and love.

As was our habit, she made a beeline to her desk, opening her laptop, and writing almost immediately. Since she had her headphones on, I turned on music in the small speaker on my mahogany desk. The low hum of instrumental gospel music filled the air.

I set up my workspace, pulling out several big Bibles along with a silver fountain pen over a legal pad.

I put on my glasses and found the passages I needed, looking up the Hebrew and Greek origins of words in select scriptures.

After an hour, I took off my reading glasses, noticing that Grace stared at me.

“What is it?”

“You bring such consistency to our household. Next to the definition of stable in the dictionary would be a picture of you, front and center every time.”

Emotion filled her kind voice.

“Thank you. Where did that come from?”

“I thought about how kind you were about Mother’s Day. And your patience with the girls. You humor Esther every time she asks for a brother.”

I chuckled.

“I’m just in agreement with her.”

Grace blushed.

“See…you’re like a powerful king on a throne. All authoritative and confident. Such an amazing daddy.”

Grace rose from her seat and came to my side, resting her hand on my shoulder and kissing the top of my head.

I wrapped my arm around her waist and inhaled her shower-fresh scent. My chest swelled at her beauty and blatant encouragement.

“Don’t start anything you can’t finish, love. I’m the kind of daddy that fills mommies’ sweet mouths with things that have them begging for good loving.”

“You promise?”

Woman…

“I want to give Esther her prayer request.” I lifted her short gray dress with one hand and massaged her bare behind. “Thank you for being obedient. It’s so efficient when I need to slip between your hot legs.”

Grace wiggled beneath my hands as they roamed over her smooth flesh.

“Sit on me.” I pushed away from the desk, lowered my gray sweatpants, and patted my lap.

Grace rubbed my growing erection then straddled me, lowering and nestling her fat ass against my hardness.

I bit her earlobe.

“Remember when I told you I’d rub my hot slit against you so hard you’d cream in your pants?”

“Yeah, except I’ve already lowered my pants for you. Cream right on me, baby.”

“You’re so bad,” she whispered, making my spine tingle.

“Scream as loud as you want when you ride me.”

I lowered the spaghetti straps of Grace’s casual cotton dress.

Her dress pooled at her waist. I planted my hands on her hips, guiding her wetness toward me.

She slowly grinded on me, sinking deeper onto me each time.

Within seconds, I slid into her with ease.

I whimpered and bit my lip as she rode me slowly.

“Take what you need. You better not stop,” I growled.

“I…won’t.”

As Grace got lost in her rhythm, I massaged her pebbled breasts. Our bodies rocked in sync, and I bit my lip, almost drawing blood. She paused and tilted her head back at me.

“Tell me why Madeline left this angel dick.”

I grunted and frowned, ready to curse her out disrupting our flow to mention my trifling ex-wife.

“I don’t want to talk about a crackhead.”

To shut Grace up, I grabbed her hips and slowly pounded her body into oblivion.

“I’m cumming.” She rode me so hard she slipped off my erection several times.

I held her steady so I could get my nut out.

After a few more thrusts, Grace rocked her body harder and screamed. As another wave overtook her, I climaxed too. When we stopped shaking, she rose, facing and straddling me.

“Oh my goodness,” she whispered against my lips.

I placed my forehead on hers, trying to catch my breath.

“That was so good.” I squeezed Grace’s breasts and held them to my lips, kissing each of them gently.

She cradled me and gave me a tight hug.

“Get back to work, Pastor. You have a Mother’s Day sermon to finish.”