Page 24 of A Taste of Grace

Wet Dreams

For the next week, Caleb and I worked nonstop to prepare for our wedding. He surprised me with an extra five thousand dollars once I signed our marriage contract. The girls bounced off the walls, asking questions about how their lives would change once I moved into their house.

Members of his church’s leadership team, along with several members of our extended family, including my Uncle Keith, gathered at Caleb’s home for a spring barbecue and engagement party.

At each event, Caleb and I presented ourselves as the dutiful pastor and wife-to-be who fell in love at first sight and couldn’t wait to start our married life with Hannah and Esther.

My biggest task was preparing our honeymoon retreat. Given the quickness of our marriage and the events that were already planned, we decided to celebrate at my house.

Over the past few weeks, I connected with Stacey, a former college roommate from Atlanta who specialized in event planning and decorating. She drove down the night before the wedding to execute our vision.

As she pulled decorations and pillows from the oversized boxes I helped her bring in from her van, I laid everything on the couch and tables.

“This is so exciting. No disrespect, but your man is fine. I streamed last week’s sermon and his proposal. When y’all kissed, I saw fireworks.” She opened and closed her fingers, simulating explosions and making fireworks sounds with her mouth.

I laughed and nodded.

“He’s special. That’s why I want everything to be perfect for our first time.” I unwrapped candles and set them on the table with care.

“What? He a pastor, pastor? You haven’t tasted that chocolate log yet?”

I thought the escalating volume of Stacey’s questions would break my eardrum. I gestured to the space around us.

“This will be where we feast on each other for the first time.”

“In that case, I’m going to make it real special. That man will be stuck to you like glue.”

“I hope so.”

As Stacey continued setting up our romantic oasis, I packed everything I would need for tomorrow’s wedding and loaded it into my car.

That night, I stayed at the Embassy Suites. With my white noise machine pumping the soothing sounds of ocean waves, I snuggled under the warm sheets earlier than normal and went to sleep.

Caleb’s face came to me as I lay naked on our king-sized bed.

His firm body rested next to me as he spread my legs open with his hands.

I rubbed his waves as his mouth assaulted mine.

He tossed me onto my stomach then quickly mounted me from behind, lapping my neck and thrusting into me mercilessly until he pushed me over the edge several times.

“Caleb!” I shouted his name into the darkness and sat up, wet and sweaty.

The dream felt so real. The darkness met my eyes as I wiped my brow. Still aroused, I felt the area beneath the seat of my nightgown, rubbing my hands over the wetness beneath me.

I got up and washed myself, changing my clothes before placing a towel on the wet spot on the bed. Although I tried to go back to sleep, I was restless. I reached for my phone. It was 2:15 a.m.

Me:

Are you up?

My phone rang.

“Hey, baby.” Caleb’s raspy voice pierced through the silence in the room, reminding me of my freaky dream. “You’re not getting cold feet, are you?”

When I didn’t answer immediately, he called my name.

“Grace? Talk to me. What’s on your mind?”

“Am I making the right choice?”

“Where is this coming from?”

“I…” I rubbed my neck and closed my eyes, drawing on the tools I crafted when I felt nervous or anxious.

“You are paying me to marry you. We’re starting our marriage off as a lie.

My friend saw the engagement video. The world saw it.

We’re going viral on social media. I wanted this to be small, but it has gotten out of hand. Aren’t you concerned?”

Caleb chuckled as he always did when something wasn’t as big as I made it out to be.

“Grace, this is a mutual agreement between two consenting adults. All that matters is how we navigate this marriage. Anyone else’s interpretation of it is their problem, not ours.”

I nodded, not wanting to self-sabotage this relationship before it started.

“Let the goodness of the day wash over you. God approves of our union.”

“Tell me again why you chose me. You know my past. What if people find out about my mental problems? Do you and the girls really want that?”

“God chose you first. I just obeyed Him when He told me you were mine.”

I processed Caleb’s soothing words.

“Today is our day,” he said.

“I just wish Mama and Daddy were here. He was supposed to walk me down the aisle.” I sniffled between words.

Caleb let me finish crying before speaking.

“They are here, sweetheart—in your actions and your memories. They were beautiful stewards of their only child. I see them in your care for Hannah and Esther.”

I dropped my head in my hands and cried again.

“Look at your ring. I chose you. You will be cherished, and I will cover you no matter what happens.”

I wiped the remaining wetness from my cheeks and picked up my engagement ring, holding it tight and rocking back and forth. When I was calm again, I took a deep breath.

“You always know what to say.”

“It’s my job. Get some rest so we can officially start our lives together tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Caleb.”

“Always.”

When my clock alarm beeped around 6:00 a.m., I stretched and meditated before beginning my morning devotion.

I slept like a log after my conversation with Caleb.

Joy and gratitude overtook me as I thought about the new life I would lead.

I said an extra prayer of thanks to God for giving me such wonderful parents and husband-to-be.

“Lord, please help me not get into a funk today. I bind the spirit of depression and loose the freedom that comes from being adored so thoroughly by Caleb and the girls. You’ve been too good for me to wallow in negativity. I am blessed beyond measure.”

I pulled out my journal and wrote a quick prayer of thanks for giving me a new family, even if Caleb had to pay for it. I was an expensive bride.

“Today is going to be a perfect day,” I declared.

Around 8:00 a.m., Caleb sent me a text.

Caleb:

This is the day the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it.

Me:

Amen. *praying hands emoji*

Caleb:

I woke up early to do my tongue exercises. I’m going to lick you from the top of your spine to your ass then turn you over and brand my name in you before I penetrate you. Have a good day, baby.

I sat on the bed for a full two minutes aroused beyond belief. Nothing I said could top Caleb’s message, so I sent a tongue emoji and continued with the final touches on my morning preparation.

I was excited to leave Grace Toliver and her insecurities behind in the small wedding that would take place in Caleb’s backyard.

After a light buffet breakfast at the hotel, I packed my belongings and moved my clothes and toiletries to my car.

I peered into the heavens and blew a kiss upward, thankful for joy and a sound mind.

On the way to Caleb’s, I thought about my parents. Caleb was right. They prepared me for motherhood and marriage before I realized that was something I wanted in life. I was built for this. As Caleb reminded me almost every night, God’s plans were bigger than ours.

Six hours later, with self-control I never knew I had or needed, I stood before God and man ready to marry Caleb Evan Stallings.

As about twenty of our closest family and friends joined us in the private ceremony, I examined Caleb fully as he stood stoically at the end of his deck where a simple arch of fresh-cut red and white roses intertwined with ivy.

Charisma oozed from his perfect pores in a new black suit, his fingers circling his wrist.

I held Uncle Keith’s arm firmly outside the sliding doors of the deck. At the last minute, I asked him to escort me down the aisle, realizing I had family who cared for me if I let them into my heart. Together, we walked toward my future.

I took my time, taking in every good thing about this day—the instrumental love songs tugging at my heartstrings, the massive ferns representing my mother’s love of potted plants, and people who took time out of their lives to celebrate my unexpected marriage. I was not forgotten.

When I spotted Ms. Denise in her lavender two-piece church lady suit with silver sequins and bouncy bob wig, tears filled my eyes as she dabbed hers. I had a mother again.

I thought of my daddy with his big personality. He would have marched me down the aisle and given me to Caleb with the warmest of smiles. Mama and Daddy would have adored my Caleb. He was the kind of man Mama promised would come my way when I finally got married.

Thank you, God, for blessing me with such amazing parents. Because of their love, I know what real love feels like. Please give that to Caleb and me one day.

No matter how this relationship started, I wanted us to prosper. Caleb’s stability and consistency were already priceless.

The service went by in a blur.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” Elder Peyton’s eyes danced as he made the declaration.

Caleb flashed his drop-dead gorgeous smile my way and added a wink.

“Pastor, you may now salute your bride.”

“Gladly.” Caleb reached for the back of my neck then pulled me to him.

He started slow and gentle but ended roughly.

Every feeling from my erotic dream came back to me as I slipped my tongue between Caleb’s teeth.

Within seconds, I devoured his mouth as if my life depended on it.

He matched my energy with gusto. When he moaned, I did too.

We finally separated, and he whispered in my ear.

“Behave, Grace Stallings. Don’t give these folks a show they’re not ready to see.”

My heart fluttered when he used my new name. I wanted to say, “Forget these people, and let me see that full package in your pants,” but knew that would be inappropriate.

You’re a pastor’s wife now.