Page 19 of A Taste of Grace

Call to Duty

The next two weeks went by in a whirlwind.

Caleb hadn’t shared publicly that we were engaged, but we spent every day together.

To my pleasure and surprise, Ms. Denise and Nita kept their mouths closed too.

Caleb and I sat with the girls and explained that we wanted to keep the news that I would be their new mommy a secret, so they had been amazing not sharing details with anyone either.

Behind the scenes, I learned Caleb and the girls’ routines.

As a freelancer, I adjusted my schedule and work locations so Caleb could spend more time establishing his ministry.

I picked the girls up and dropped them off at soccer practice.

Some people stared and asked who I was. Each time, I said I was a family friend or their babysitter.

After school, I prepared or ate dinner with the girls, sitting or staying at Caleb’s house as he also traveled for the growing list of jobs he took on.

This made sense since before my arrival, Caleb transitioned to his full-time job as a pastor and part-time consultant who established the infrastructure for new ministries around the state that wanted their fiscal and spiritual foundations to be sound.

He recently branched out into online coaching for select clients interested in audits of their current businesses.

We followed Nita’s advice to engage in marriage counseling. I was nervous since I didn’t want to reveal too much information about myself to a stranger. I pulled into the empty church lot around noon on a Tuesday and texted Caleb that I had arrived.

Caleb:

I’ll be out in a few minutes.

I waited until Caleb came to the side door. He wore a crisp white button-down shirt and a steel gray suit that fit his body to perfection. I took a quick whiff of his cologne before taking a peek at his muscular body that couldn’t be hidden beneath the tailored cut of the suit.

“You look dapper, Pastor.” I held my clutch tightly as he allowed me to walk past him through the glass door.

Instead of moving aside, he remained in place, so I had to brush my body against his. I paused long enough to cut my eyes at our closeness, which nearly took my breath away.

“Did it take all that?” I spoke in a low voice since I didn’t know who might be around.

“I’m just holding the door for you, sweetheart.”

His innocent look didn’t fool me one bit.

“Yeah, right. Seriously, please behave in front of Elder Peyton. Although I trust him because of the stories you’ve shared about his role in your life, he doesn’t know me. I’d hate to have to act a fool because you pulled the foolishness out of me.”

“I can’t pull anything out that didn’t already want to come out. It’s called temperance, honey. Only you can control how you respond. When we’re married, I’ll give you a private Bible study on the Fruit of the Spirit.” He chuckled, then shut the door behind us.

We moved down a long, narrow hallway before entering a large conference room full of pictures chronicling the church’s history.

In the center of the wall was a stoic photo of the late Bishop Paul Stallings.

I stared at the photo before sitting down, noting how handsome and boyish the Bishop appeared in his ministerial collar.

That gleam in his eye matched Caleb’s, making me wonder how much hell Ms. Denise gave the good bishop when he was fooling around on her.

“Hello, hello.” A voice boomed through the room.

I attempted to rise, but the man I assumed to be Elder Peyton gestured for me to remain seated. I recalled seeing him during my first visit to Haven of Hope and Blessings. He extended his hand, which I accepted. Caleb sat next to me as Elder Peyton took his place at the head of the oval table.

“It’s nice to officially meet you, Doctor Toliver. Our new pastor is marrying up, I see.” Elder Peyton clasped his hands and laughed at his own joke.

Caleb joined in and chuckled.

“Indeed, I am.”

Elder Peyton tilted his slim body toward me. My eyes caught the gold pinky ring he wore that matched the metal on his front tooth. Although he looked like a retired pimp, his gentle smile reminded me of a kind grandfather.

“Thanks for meeting with me today. Paul was my dearest friend, so it’s my pleasure to counsel his son and future daughter-in-law. I already know this union will be blessed by God Almighty. Let us pray.”

Caleb nodded, reaching for my hand under the table and squeezing it tightly as the elderly man with the bald spot on top and trimmed afro from ear to ear prayed. I opened one eye and watched as small beads of sweat popped off his shiny forehead. Was he an undercover hoe, too?

“We invite You in this session, Heavenly Father. Guide me as I guide Caleb and Grace. Establish a firm marital foundation that will ground them and center You until You call them home to be with you. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.”

“Amen,” Caleb and I said in unison before Caleb squeezed my hand and placed his on the table.

Elder Peyton pulled a notepad across the table and examined the paper before facing us again.

“I have three simple questions that will guide our conversation. If you answer these, you’ll be ready to take on the world.”

I took in a deep breath as Elder Peyton pointed his fountain pen at the top of the page and asked, “What does spiritual intimacy look like to you?”

I turned to Caleb, not ready to answer this question. I only knew church life as a parishioner, so I didn’t want to respond in a way that wouldn’t reflect a future first lady.

“I’m obviously attracted to Grace, so the physical intimacy will come.” Caleb leaned closer to me and met my eyes.

I heard his words and sucked in my breath, trying to concentrate on what I predicted would be a deep response.

“I want someone who understands that I am more than a pastor. Grace needs to know that I am committed to being her covering, the person who God has made a steward over her well- being and future. I will love her as I love myself and will be supportive in every area of her life. Like God and His twenty-four-seven access, I’ll answer her calls and will give her the grace and space to be the virtuous woman she was called to be from the moment she entered her mother’s womb.

I’ll be her friend when she doesn’t even realize she needs one.

She will see God through me every day in every way. ”

I rested my hand over my heart, touched deeply by Caleb’s words. They were perfect. Without hesitation, I cupped his chin and leaned toward him for a quick kiss.

“You are such a good man, Caleb Stallings. Thank you for choosing me as your bride.”

He ducked his head and nodded, reaching for my wrist and kissing it. As was becoming our habit, we stared at each other in comfortable silence, absorbing the peace of our budding relationship.

I took a big breath and turned to Elder Peyton to share my truth.

“I don’t trust many people, so intimacy of any kind is difficult. As Caleb said, I don’t think the physical connection between us will be lacking. No disrespect, Elder, but look at how fine he is.” I gestured from his neck down as Elder Peyton laughed.

“Seriously, when I went to the altar my first day at church, I felt the love inside Caleb radiate out to me. He touched me, and I felt the love of God working through him. It’s hard to describe, but a flood of peace overtook me.

I’m often anxious and an overthinker, but every bit of that angst left me in the presence of the Lord that day.

If God moved so mightily through Caleb in the sanctuary, I can only imagine how intense it will be when I have him to myself.

It will be one of the most precious gifts I’ve ever received.

I can’t wait for our intimacy to grow.” I blushed hard because I tried to share what I meant without being too graphic.

Even now, the familiar ping of arousal simmered in my loins. I adjusted my body in my seat and grabbed the hem of my dress under the table to stay in the moment. Every side of Caleb turned me on, especially the one that cared so openly and thoroughly for people.

Because of the anointing that rested on Caleb, I predicted that when we finally made love, he would cater to my body and soul so thoroughly I would be addicted to him like the women who had him before me.

Unlike them, I would be his wife. I silently prayed that I satisfied him as much as he satisfied me.

“Those are beautiful answers. Are you choosing each other in your spirit or just in your emotions?” Elder Peyton peered between us above his little round rimmed glasses.

“This is a leap of faith for me. The only way I know how to move in a relationship this quickly is to trust a power that is higher than I am.” I spoke as honestly and directly as I could.

I turned to Caleb for his response. He cleared his throat and looked directly at me.

As occurred more often than not, when he stared at me for any period of time, I got distracted by his handsomeness—that strong jawline and stubble had me wanting to rub my fingertips over his dark skin.

Our closeness reminded me of his declaration to me on his deck.

Soon I would be his, and he would be mine in every sense of the word.

“Grace, I didn’t think I would ever remarry.

The pain of my first marriage was almost too much to bear.

My girls brought the sun out for me again.

When they shined their light on you and you returned it, I forced myself to open to something deeper than I thought possible.

” He turned to Elder Peyton. “I tried to push Grace out of my head but couldn’t.

God spoke to me, even through you, Elder, about the divine timing of our union.

” Caleb reached for my hand and lifted my wrist to his lips.

“Aw…young love is so beautiful.” Elder Peyton leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, beaming at Caleb and me like we made him proud.